A Very Ordinary Evil

Part 2 – Video replay


The following day


Willow walked towards Giles’ apartment, to carry out some more research into reasons for the apparently quiet period they were experiencing. She admitted to herself that she was probably looking forward more to talking to Spike than actually doing the research. {How can you research a negative?} she asked herself. As she neared the apartment, she realised that she didn’t know why Spike was staying there again. She made discovering that one of her priorities for the day.

Spike was waiting impatiently for Willow to arrive. Since Giles had left for the shop, he’d been pacing and smoking non-stop. He was hoping for a chance today to find out why the term ‘puppy’ so disturbed Willow. He knew he was gnteenteed at least eight hours with her, uninterrupted. Although he would neadmiadmit it aloud, Spike had a real interest in minor mysteries, and Willow’s involvement in this little puzzle only made it more intriguing.

Willow opened the door, and strolled in. Spike was slouched on the lounge, flicking idly through television channels.

“Hi there, Spike!” Willow chirped as she entered.

Spike looked up at her and asked “Why, with so many bloody channels, is there nothing but crap on?”

“Willow lookeck ack and responded a touch acerbically “And a fine good morning to you as well.”

Spike turned the television off and smiled. “Hello, luv. Sleep well?” As he asked, he stood and walked towards the kitchen. “Coffee?” He called over his shoulder as he went.

“Please!” She shouted back at him.

Some minutes later, Spike returned carrying two mugs. One of freshly made coffee, and the other with what Willow assumed was blood. He handed her the coffee, which Willow checked carefully, just in case he’d given her the wrong cup, either accidentally or as a ‘joke’.

Spike flashed a wicked smile at Willow as he started to think. “All right, pet, we’re alone now, and no-one’s returning in the foreseeable future, so why don’t you tell me about ‘puppy’?”

Willow instantly blushed again. “You remembered that?” Willow was initially surprised that Spike had done so, but quickly it dawned on her that he would be interested because of the extreme reaction she had shown the previous night. {What should I do? He’d have heard about the vampire me, so it won’t be a total surprise, but I don’t want to give him ideas either. I really don’t want to be like her, she was just so … eeeeew.} She drew a deep breath, looked back at Spike and asked “Why’re you so curious?”

Spike looked at Willow, intrigued now. She was evading the issue, so either it was embarrassing or risque. {Hopefully both,} he thought. He pressed on, seeing his advantage. “Look, ducks, if I get offended, I can’t do anything about it, other than try and be spiteful, but if I offended you in front of anyone else, you know that the bloody slayer’d have a stake in me so fast I wouldn’t notice ‘til I was dead.”

Willow realised the truth of what he said, and came to a decision. “All right, but when I’m done, I’ll want to ask you some questions too.

“Deal.” Spike responded instantly. {Hmmmmm,} he thought,{was I too quick there? Too eager?}

Willow smiled, and slowly drew a breath. “Some of this will be difficult for me Spike, so, please don’t laugh or tease or anything.” Willow shot Spike a pleading look as she asked the favour of him. He nodded in response. “Course, pet, I promise I’ll not tease, and do my best not to laugh.”

Willow smiled and nodded, strangely pleased that he had only said he would do his best not to laugh. It was a kind of honesty that she found all too rarely.

Taking another deep breath, she began “I assume you’ve heard about my vampire alter ego?”

“Your what?”

Willow giggled, she had never heard Spike squeak before.

“My vampiric alter ego, Spike. What happened to your super sensitive hearing?”

“How the hell did that happen? And sod me bloody ‘earing.”

Willow looked down before she answered “Well … Anya and I did a spell. It went sort of … wrong.” She looked up at Spike. “It wasn’t my fault that time!” Willow insisted. “It was Anya, she wanted to get her powers back, but we didn’t even know she was a demon then, and she and I started to do this spell and …”

“Calm down pet, you’ll only hyperventilate if you keep going at that rate. Is your dad a racecaller, by any chance?” Spike chuckled as Willow drew another deep breath. “We’ve got all day. Just tell it slowly, calmly, All right?”

Willow nodded, giggling slightly at the image of her father trying to call a horserace. Spike had interrupted her far more quickly than her other friends ever did. She was oddly touched by the fact that he was helping her avoid embarrassment.

Willow began again, this time slowly, and she explained fully to Spike about the spell which she and Anya had cast, ending with “… and that’s how my double arrived here.”

She could see that Spike was clearly fascinated, and she was astonished as he started to dissect the story. “So,” he began, “the Master rose here in this … what did you call it? Alternate Reality? That must have been a barrel of laughs, he was always a right arrogant prick. Meanwhile, Slutty goes off to Cleveland instead of coming here. Doesn’t she know the difference between a Hellmouth and a Hellhole?”

Willow giggled. She had always liked wordplay, and Spike was surprisingly good at it.

“Now I know how your double got here, but I still know nothing about her,” complained Spike.

“There’s plenty of time Spike. How about now you fill me in a bit on some things I’m curious about”

Spike looked at her, he could see no deception, and he decided to go with the flow “Okay, Red, let’s just get some more coffee first.”

A few minutes later they had settled back down, and Willow wondered how to start asking what she wanted to know. “Easy question first. Why are you here again, at Giles’?”

Spike just grinned. “It’s so boring you’ll kick yourself luv. I decided to buy a flat.”

“A flat what?” Willow looked baffled.

Spike sighed. “Sorry pet, I mean an apartment. They’re called flats across the pond. I decided that crypts are definitely out for me. No power, no creature comforts. I want to at least be comfortable if I have to live like … this.” Spike gestured to his head as he spoke. “Ripper said I could crash here ‘til I find somewhere.”

Willow looked at him from her seat, and wondered once again how or even if Spike could adjust to his new limitations. She began to drift, just thinking of the ramifications, and didn’t even hear Spike until he shook her.

“Red,” Spike said, “Red, are you actually there?”

Willow blinked and looked somewhat puzzled. “Sorry Spike, I was just thinking of everything that your … problem could entail.”

“Well, I’m pleased to see somebody is,” Spike responded, sarcasm oozing from each word. “Bloody Slutty and the rest of ‘em all seem to think there isn’t a problem at all. You and the Watcher are the only ones who seem to give a shit.”

Willow was appalled at the bitterness in his voice, but realised that he had a legitimate grievance. He’d been helping them all now for well over a year, but no-one other than she and Giles acknowledged him as a part of the group. Aware that she could do nothing in the short term, she nodded her appreciation of his situation. Also realising that she needed to move the conversation and Spike’s thoughts away from their present turn, she followed up with another question that had been lurking.

“Okay Spike, here’s one you won’t find so easy to answer. Why are you so pragmatic, you’re a demon, after all? Compared to some of the others I’ve met though, you’re different. You don’t want to end the world, or heap misery on all us poor, defenceless humans the way, say … Angelus did. What’s the difference”

Spike began to instantly bridle at the mention of his grandsire, but saw very quickly what Willow was asking. “Well, Red, you do ask some bloody complicated questions, don’t you?” Spike thought a moment, took out a cigarette, and holding it unlit he began to answer. “It’s not really easy to explain pet. Each demon is different; some demons are obsessed by their hatred or fear of humanity and respond immediately and violently. Some are subtle planners and manipulators whose eventual long term goals are perhaps far more terrifying than anyone could imagine. Some are like me. We like the world we live in, and we’ll fight to keep it that way. I don’t know that pragmatic is the right term though. Enlightened self interest is probably more accurate.” Spike paused and thought again. “That’s a terrible oversimplification, but it’s a fairly good rule of thumb.” He smiled gently at Willow as he lit his cigarette.

“Okay, one last question, and then it’s your turn,” she chirped. Spike could see her enthusiasm growing. “Why do you speak so differently to me. Not only your demeanour changes, but also your vocabulary?”

Spike chuckled. “Red, when I’m with you, I don’t have to act like Mr Evil Vampire. You actually credit me with a brain and the ability to reason. None of the others do that. I simply behave in the way they expect. The old let your enemies underestimate you ploy. Also, I like you, I can relax and let out a side of me that’s there but usually hidden”

Willow looked at Spike yet again, with growing respect. {Attractive, hell no, gorgeous, and brains too. I just wish he wasn’t so GRRR, even if he can’t bite.}

Spike looked back at Willow, and said “My turn I believe. So, Red, tell me about this evil twin. All the little hints have got me burning with … curiosity.”

Willow instantly blushed from the roots of her hair to her neck at his tone of voice. Spike grinned, walked over and whispered into her ear, “I call you Red as a nickname, not an instruction pet.” Willow looked momentarily affronted, and then giggled.

When she had gathered herself together, Willow asked “How do I know you won’t tell anyone? If I’m going to tell you, you’ll have to guarantee to keep it all secret.”

“Simple pet, I promise.”

“Yeah, promise. That’s a good one. You may be defanged but you can still talk. You’ll be telling all your undead and demony friends about just how skanky I am as a vampire.

“Lor’ pet, have I ever lied to you?” Spike grinned openly. “I’ve bent the truth, twisted it, tied it in knots, but I’ve never told an outright lie. I even kept my word to that dopey prat who tried to hand the slayer over to me all those years ago! Well, sort of, I got a minion to sire him.”

Willow nodded, but still looked worried. “Red, think about it, if I’m the only one you tell, and you hear about it from any other source, all you need to do is to tell the slayer. She’d top me so fast that I’d be dust before you could blush.”

Willow nodded, acknowledging the truth of what Spike had said. Also, she thought it might be interesting to get a vampire’s opinion of her evil twin. She nodded, drew a breath and said, “Spike …” Willow blushed, beet red.

“It’s all right Red, just take your time, and at your own pace, okay?”

. “Well … ummmm … I have footage of her on videotape.” The last sentence emerged with a rush and Willow blushed once again, and also took a remarkable interest in her shoes.

Spike looked flabbergasted. “You never cease to amaze me ducks. Just how on earth did you manage that?”

“Well, she spent a lot of time in The Bronze, and they have security cameras there. I was so embarrassed by her that during all the confusion I … Oh Goddess, I … stole the tapes Spike! I snuck into the manager’s office and stole them!” Willow looked shocked at her own behaviour.

Spike laughed openly. “And you say you’re a chicken? Where are the tapes now Red?”

Willow shuffled her feet, still avoiding Spike’s gaze. “They’re … at home, my parents’ house. I watch them occasionally.” Willow couldn’t understand her need to tell Spike all of this. That she had kept the tapes and looked at her double’s poise, elegance and style so enviously that it was her most closely guarded secret.

Spike looked at Willow. {She may appear nervous, shy and frightened, but underneath she’s got more bottle than the rest of them put together.} “I’m impressed, pet. That was very smart thinking. So, when do I get to see ‘em?”

“Walk me home after everyone gets here. I’ll show them to you then, all right?” Willow was astonished at her audacity.

Spike beamed as he grinned, “It’s a date, pet. Should I bring popcorn?”

“A date?” the nervousness and anticipation were both obvious in her voice

* * *

That evening, Spike walked with Willow to her parents’ house. As usual, her parents were away, lecturing. For Willow, their absences tended to blur one into another. As they reached the door, Willow paused. She looked awkwardly around before saying, “Come in, Spike. I think I’d like you to see these tapes.” She opened the door and led Spike into the house.

“Lead on, Red,” Spike murmured into Willow’s ear as he stealthily moved right behind her.

Willow jumped. “You’re all like this aren’t you, Mr Stealth. Damn vampires” It was not a question, but rather a muttered complaint.

“Sorry pet, I just can’t help myself at times. And, if you think about it, the ‘Mr Stealth’ thing is fairly important. It’s fairly hard to stalk prey if you’re as quiet as a herd of drunken elephants.”

“Oh, that makes sense, although I didn’t really need to know it. Anyway, come in and sit down, please.” Willow asked as she ushered him into the living room. As Spike sat, a little awkwardly in one of the armchairs, Willow asked “would you like ummm … anything to drink?”

Spike chuckled. {That’s an unusual sound to hear from him,} Willow thought as Spike answered “Unless you have my favourite, luv, I think it’ll be just coffee for me.” He grinned as he continued “and what about that popcorn?”

Willow blushed again, and giggled. “Why don’t I just make coffee and then you can see these videos.”

“Okay sweetie.”

Willow loaded the first tape and turned on the television and VCR before going to make the coffee. When she returned, Spike was rewinding the tape. “I’m just going to run it again, Red, okay?”

Willow nodded and sat on the chair opposite his as Spike restarted the tape.

The first footage showed Willow’s doppleganger walking into the Bronze. Willow sat, feeling strangely uncomfortable; it was the first time anyone else had ever seen the tapes. She glanced over at Spike. He was sitting forward in the chair, leaning close to the screen. He looked at the footage, and then at Willow. His eyes darted continually from one to the other. The tape ended. “Any more, Red?” Willow nodded and slipped the next cassette in. Again, he became totally absorbed.

“Red, tell me what you thought of your double. I mean what you really thought, not the superficial nonsense you would have told your friends.”

Once again, Willow was surprised by his words, and her face clearly showed it. “What do you expect, pet. In over 120 years I’m going to pick up a trick or two. There’s more to me than just biting people. Anyway, while you’re thinking about your answer, I’ll run the other two tapes.”

When all four tapes had been viewed, Spike looked at Willow. “Okay cutie, talk to me now.”

Willow looked awkward once again, and took a deep breath. “I hope you realise that this isn’t easy for me. And I’m not cute”

He nodded. “Go on, pet. Take your time.”

“Well, she’s a lot of things I want to be. Confident, assertive, beautiful …”

“Pull the other one luv. You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.”

Willow looked at him, stunned. With one simple sentence, her world had been turned completely upside down. {A man, well a vampire, who’s been alive, well sort of alive, since Queen Victoria has just said … Oh Goddess! What do I say now, what do I do?}

Seeing her confusion, he asked “Pet, can you play the third tape again?” Willow functioned on autopilot, reloading the requested tape. Spike went to the television and turned the image down to nothing and sat, eyes closed, listening next to the speaker. Willow watched incuriously, still utterly overwhelmed by what he had said earlier. As the tape ended, Spike said “again, luv.” Once more, Willow rewound the tape. This time, he brought he image up, but dropped the sound to nothing. He watched intently until the tape finished, then he turned off the television and looked at Willow.

“All right luv, talk to me.”

“About what?”

“About what it is that really bothers you about her. You know as well as I that the leather, the attitude, the sexuality—that’s surface only. It provides a nice cover to put your mates off the scent. I’m not so easy to con though.”

Willow’s jaw dropped. No one had seen her motivations so clearly before. It was like he could enter her mind. She began to fumble towards an answer. “I really don’t quite know. She made me very nervous, scared me, but not in that vampire ‘GRRRR’ way.”

Spike nodded slowly. “It’s something more than you told your friends though, isn’t it” Willow nodded her affirmation as she continued to think.

Spike began to speak, obviously choosing his words carefully. “I’ll tell you what I think, Red. That counterpart of yours reminds me a lot of Drusilla, too much so for my liking. Now, we know that Dru was completely barking before Peaches turned her, and that he was the one who made her that way. I also know you well enough now to be able to hazard a guess. As you are now, your vampiric self would be very unlike what we’ve seen. So … I think that, whoever it was who turned her …”

Willow interrupted. “It was the Master, Spike. She told me that.”

“Okay … that makes sense. He was the kind of geezer who loved to torture his victims, especially those he intended to turn. I’d say that he made your doppleganger insane before he turned her.”

Willow looked at him, the curiosity burning in her green eyes. “What would I be like as a vampire then?”

Spike smiled as he looked at Willow, “Well, luv, what’s the most significant characteristic of vampiric personalities?”

“They’re evil.”

He sighed. “Okay-y,” he stretched out the word, “I didn’t really mean like that. What I’m asking is, putting the evil to one side, what is the most noticeable characteristic? You can see it in all vampires, souled or not, chipped or not.”

“I’m lost again, Spike. How do you do that. Even though you make it clear you don’t think I’m stupid, I end up feeling as if I was.”

Spike grinned again. {He’s doing a lot of that lately.} Willow thought. “Oh pet, you’re anything but stupid. That’s why I don’t bother to spell everything out for you. One of the few worthwhile things Peaches taught me was that if you work something out for yourself, it stays in the memory. {He’s a teacher, she thought, and a damn good one. No wonder he was always able to recruit so many allies.}

As far as vampiric characteristics go, we all tend to extremes. Even the poof with his soul. As Angelus he wanted to destroy the slayer and everyone she cared about. When that failed he thought ‘Sod it, destroy the world. That’ll teach the bitch’ Now that he can’t have fun anymore, he’s back doing the brood thing, the tortured soul routine. Do you think anyone could really be that tortured? Darla lived for the hunt, well, that and finding new and interesting ways to kill people. The Master, now he just wanted to own the world. And so it goes. In other words, obsessive behaviour is the norm, rather than the exception.

From what I’ve seen of you, your sexuality would remain unaltered, but you wouldn’t have your counterpart’s sadism. I don’t know you well enough to tell if you’d be as exhibitionistic. You certainly wouldn’t be wandering around, announcing aimlessly that you were bored. In fact, you’d be rather like Dalton. Studious, careful, methodical, creative, imaginative. I rather liked him, until Dru gave him to the Judge as a party favour. In other words, you’d be not unlike you are now, but you would have differing priorities.”

Willow looked stunned, partly at the sheer length of Spike’s speech. She thought a moment and then ventured, “so, Spike, what you’re saying is that the most visible characteristics dominate the more subtle ones?”

“It’s somewhat more complex than that, Red, but you’re certainly on the right track.”

“Doesn’t that make vampires a little two dimensional?” {I can’t believe I just said that! I’m a drooling idiot. Why did I just insult him and his whole species?}

“Not really,” Willow was surprised at the ease with which Spike dealt with her question. “We’re all the sum of our parts, human or demon. To use a somewhat warped metaphor, the numbers change but the total remains the same.”

Willow laughed and batted her eyelids melodramatically. “You sir, are playing with fire! Talking to a computer geek like me about math? You’re trying to seduce me!”

Spike laughed again. “Red, you’re a wicked woman! But you are very desirable.” {And I know what I’m desiring right now!} he thought. Acting upon the thought, he moved across the room with almost preternatural speed and kissed Willow, very softly, on the lips. It was just the merest sensual brush of lip against lip, but Willow felt her heart stall. Spike drew an unneeded but shaky breath.

Both Willow and Spike looked astonished at what had just happened, still in one another’s arms. They leaned into a second kiss, another light contact. Willow pulled back, looking up at Spike. “We can’t! Think of how sad Buffy and Angel were!” Despite her protestations, she felt herself move back into Spike’s welcoming embrace and reached up, to brush his lips with hers, to return the kisses given.

Willow pulled back again, this time looking stunned. She’d never felt like this before, at least, not from a simple kiss. {How can something so simple feel so profound?} she asked herself. She eventually summoned the courage to step backwards and look up at him, questioningly.

“Well, luv?” Spike sounded questioning, non-committal.

“Can you explain what happened just now?”

Spike chuckled. “Mutual attraction? Mutual desire?”

“No, it was far more than that, for both of us, and you know it as well as I do.”

Spike sighed “Shit!” He took a breath and continued. “Of course it is Red. I’m just not sure that either of us are ready for what this could unlock. I know you’ve seen how possessive, how utterly absorbed I am, with a lover, and your reactions to both Wolf-boy and Tara tell me that you’re no different. When you or I give our heart, we give totally, without reservation.” Spike seemed to take a deep breath before continuing. “Our being together would become very intense. To say nothing of the reactions of the others.”

Willow nodded, thinking, before she slowly said, “You’ve been the one person who really supported me after Oz left. And, again, after Tara went home to her family, you took the time to listen, support, to care about me rather than just hoping that I’d shut up and go away. Is it really any wonder that I’m drawn to you? You’re patient, tolerant and compassionate. You’re intelligent and drop-dead gorgeous.” With that, Willow reached up, entwining her arms around Spike’s neck, pulling him down into a passionate and searching kiss. She pressed her lips against his, cautiously probing with her tongue, seeking access, she felt his lips part almost instantly to allow her to taste him. {I like the taste of tobacco, how bizarre!}

Willow pulled away again. “I don’t know what I want, Spike. I’m scared of what could happen, but I’m just as scared of stopping.”

“It’s okay pet.” Spike pulled her to him. Holding her close, he let her slowly relax. “I’m not going to push you into anything. But I’m not going to push you away, either. After all. I’ve leaned the value of patience over the last century.” Spike smiled lopsidedly at his last comment. Easing himself away from Willow, he led her to the couch and sat, drawing her down next to him, one arm snaking around her waist as he did so. He looked at her, and began to speak “Willow, I love you. I love you in, I think, the same way I loved Drusilla. If you feel the same way…”

Willow had no idea what to do or say. To hear the desires, which she had kept hidden in the darkest recesses of her soul, from the object of that desire, left her unable to think, let alone speak.