Geeks Can Be Hot

Rating for this chapter: pretty PG again.

A/N: I have said that I’m really working on this story as a comedy right? ‘Cause this chapter’s heavy on humor. I think. Could just be me, though. I’m easily amused.

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"I can’t believe you kissed him," Xander was saying for what felt like the millionth time as they made their way away from the museum to get to Giles’ apartment.

"Will you shut up already?" Willow sighs and looks over her shoulder to make sure Spike is still with them.

"Just enjoying the view, luv," the vampire gives her backside a leering glance then winks at her when he sees her checking up on him.

"Stop that right now," Xander freezes in his tracks and turns on the blonde angrily. "No more flirting or innuendo or whatever the hell it is you’re doing to Will," he whips back around to look at her. "I can’t believe you’re encouraging him."

"I … I’m not," she blushes and begins walking faster toward the watcher’s apartment. "No encouraging here."

"Beg to differ, Red," blusblush intensifies at the instigating British tone. "You’re not only encouraging, you bloody started it. There I was, minding my own," he’s suddenly keeping pace beside her and her step falters for a minute, "trying to rid the world of my sad little existence and in barge you gits. Not content just spoiling my dusty end, you start gettin’ all hot and bothered in those tight little pants your wearing," she opens her mouth to deny that and he makes a tsking sound, "vampire senses, pet, I know the smell of arousal and you were getting so turned on I could practically taste it - "

"La la la la la," Xander rushes forward and throws his hand over the vampire’s mouth, for which Willow is actually very grateful. "I’m not listening to this."

"The proper way to do that, you bloody twit," Spike tears the restraining hand away with a glare, "is to cover your bleeding ears and go with the ‘la las’ not cover my bloody mouth. You ever do that again and I’ll bite those meaty paws clear off. Pain or no pain from this blasted chip."

"Uh … guys," Willow grinds to a stop as they reach Rupert Giles’ place and sees the front door standing open.

"Uh-oh," the brunette looks up, sees the same thing and stills.

"Oh, bollocks," the blonde glares at the broken door. "They better not have killed him. I wanna do that. He’s number one on my list."

"What list?" Xander’s distracted enough to ask.

"Giles? Really? I woulda thought Buffy would be first," she gives the vampire a rather curious look at the revelation about his ‘to kill slowly and painfully when this bloody chip is removed’ list.

"Bitch got bumped after the ponce climbed in the tub for a shower few days before hoisting me off on this one," he jerks his thumb toward Xander.

"Why would you bump him for taking a shower?" her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Bloody prat forgot to unchain me first," her brow furrows further then after a minute she gets it and the confusion clears away. "Oh, yeah, yuck it up," he snaps angrily when she can’t stop the giggle that escapes her at the idea of Giles stepping on Spike to take a shower. "You wanna talk about nightmares, imagine the ones I have of all that soft, pasty pale librarian flesh."

"Oh," she realizes she hadn’t really thought of that part of the scenario he described. "Was it really yecch? ‘Cause I always thought Giles was pretty kinda ok for an older guy."

With a blush she starts to rooting for the Vahrall demons and their plans for Armageddon just then when Spike and Xander both turn to look at her with expressions of absolute shock and a hint of distaste at her casual revelat

"We should really go see what happened inside," she gulps back her embarrassment and rushes into the Watcher’s apartment.

"You know," Spike comments as he follows her and they easily find Rupert unconscious on the living room floor, "this sudden interest you have in me is no longer flattering, luv. Don’t think I like it at all, actually, what with your track record. Dogboy, Harris and crushing on the geezer here. Not a list I think I belong on."

"There was also this demon I met online in high school and I kinda think this girl Tara is …," his eyebrow was doing that elevation thing it did when something began to really interest him and that fact pleasantly surprised him and she grinds to a blushing stop as she replays her own words in her head. "There is no list," she tries to cover, "and … and if there was you’re so not on it."

"Wills, little help here," Xander thankfully interrupts just then to draw her attention to a stirring Giles.

"Spike, get us some ice," she orders while going to help move the man on to his couch.

"Me? Why would I wanna help here?"

"Because if you don’t I’ll find a spell to turn you into a nasty little toad and considering my track record with magic who knows what the heck you’ll actually come out as," she threatens without giving the vampire a glance as she’s checking the librarian over for severe injuries.

"What happened here?" Xander asks when the older man comes round enough to assure them he was alright.

"Vahrall demons," Rupert tentatively touches his reddened jaw.

"You’re getting some stones on you, Glinda," Spike announces as he enters from the kitchen with some ice wrapped in a dishtowel for her, having apparently taken her threat seriously. "I like that."

"What happened?" they all look up as Buffy Summers walks into the situation, obviously in full on Slayer mode from seeing the door broken in.

"It’s my fault," the watcher sighs and takes the ice Willow offers him, "I should have known. The Word of Valios – is the name of a talisman – not a book. I blame myself entirely," he puts the ice to his aching jaw. "I had it here."

"Whoa, had it here?" Xander rises from tending to the older man. "Ok, first I thought you were just being hard on yourself with the ‘my fault,’ but now …"

"It’s not like I deliberately did this," Giles cuts him off. "I bought it at a sorcerer’s estate sale. I’ve really only glanced at it that once and I thought it was a knock off. No wonder really that I forgot all about it until just before they took it."

"So," Buffy sighs, "they have it. And they probably have their sacrifices by now, too."

"Well that won’t do," Spike says with a leering look in her direction. "Red here’s looking to shag me. Can’t have the world ending just yet."

Willow simply gapes at him, which turns his leer to a childishly pleased grin at her embarrassment. Xander glares at the vampire then gives her a ‘look what you’ve started’ glance and shakes his head sadly.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy and Giles both ask the blonde after their eyes confirm his presence.

"And what’s with the horrible clothing?" the Slayer give him a second look over scoffing at the short pants.

"Hey," Xander jumps up offended. "Those are my clothes he’s wearing."

"Ok. Let's stick with the what are you doing here?" the blonde female asks the vampire.

"Um, everyone, more important things to talk about here," Willow reminds them and regrets it when all their attention returns to her.

"What’s he’s talking about with the shag thing? He better be referring to carpeting," Buffy turns to give Spike her evil eye.

"Sure, carpeting," the vampire gives Willow a suggestive glance. "Gotta see if that carpet matches the pretty red drapes."

Ok, Willow squeaks and, feeling as if her face is blushing a shade as red as her hair, turns her back on the troublesome blonde man, this apocalypse was looking better by the minute.

"Yes," Giles looks at the two of them curiously then removes and polishes his glasses. "Well, back to business. They should be on their way to perform the sacrifice now."

"On their way where?" Buffy demands. "You found out what the ritual is for?"

"The Hellmouth," the watcher sighs and rubs his eyes before slipping his eyewear back in place. "They are going to open the Hellmouth. The one in the library."

"Yippee," the Slayer draws all their stares and gives them her ‘let’s mount up’ look. "Looks like we’re going back to high school."

~*~*~

"arefareful you guys," Buffy orders as they enter the ruins of Sunnydale High. "This place doesn’t look too stable."

"Fine by me," Spike kicks at some rubble. "Hope we all go under."

"Hey," Willow smacks him on the back of the shoulder. "What happened to not wanting the world to end just yet so you could see if my carpet and drapes match?!"

"Can we please not go down that memory lane?" Xander groans behind her as they continue toward the library. "It’s bad enough I heard it once."

"Amen to that and does anyone wanna explain why we had to hear it at all?" Buffy pauses up ahead to look back at them. "Why is he even here? It’s not like he can fight. Unless," she scoffs and glares at thmpirmpire, "these demons can be annoyed to death."

"If," Willow places herself firmly between the two bleached blondes, "we leave him alone, he’ll stake himself."

"And that’s bad because …?"

"That was my thought exactly," Xander seconds the Slayer, "but Wills’ isht wht we can’t let him dust himself. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll have an accident with these demons."

"Hey," she and Spike both exclaim.&quo"Look, fine," Buffy lifts a silencing hand. "Whatever. Just keep him out of the way. I do not have time for this," she sighs and refocuses on the mission. "Ok, when we get to the library keep a look out for the victims they’re keeping alive for the sacrifice. Getting them out if the first priority."

"Will do," Willow accepts the order with a smiling nod that makes Spike roll his eyes at her.

She retaliates with a ‘shut up’ glare and comes very close to sticking her tongue out at him. Only thing that really stopped her was nightmarish thoughts of the lewd, seductive or immature ways he’d retaliate to that.

"You guys ready?" Buffy’s asking.

"Let’s rock and roll," Xander straightens his spine and assumes his tough guy look, which sadly is never really that tough.

"Let’s rocks and roll," Spike mocks the brunette’s words and actions, though he pulls off the tough guy look even in those silly clothes, mostly thanks to the black leather he's wearing over the borrowed duds.

"Sunnydale High," she hears Xander getting nostalgic as they cautiously continue toward their goal. "These walls – if they were still walls – what stories they could tell. Eew," they all turn to see the young man staring at his upraised foot with a look of disgust at whatever he saw. "Mayor meat. Extra crispy."

"I think we’re near the library," she says quietly as they ignore that and move on.

She inches closer to Spike as they make their way into the ruins of the place she, Buffy and Xander had spent so much of their time in when they attended school here. There’s a crater that used to be the floor and lots of spooky chanting fills the air and she really doesn’t know why she’s moving toward Spike as this whole scene freaks her out a bit, but she does and he gives her a reassuring leer and she blushes and he winks and she feels better.

"Check out the new floor plan," she says to the others as she forces her attention away from the vampire and on to the demons standing around a fissure in the crater.

"Three of them," Buffy sighs as she stares at the trio of Vahrall’s.

"I don’t see any sacrifice people," Willow frowns and looks carefully around the room.

"They have to be around here somewhere," the slayer frowns as well. "The ritual isn’t finished," she looks down at the demons. "And it’s not gonna be."

With that Buffy leaps forward to attack the Vahrall’s and the battle’s on. The demons start dropping the necessary items for the ritual to work. Xander picks up the bottle of blood the demons need and Willow rushes in to get the sack containing the bones of a child. Then she realizes she’s holding in her hands a sack containing the bones of a child and with her eyes wide in horror she throws the sack at Xander. Who immediately tosses it back like a hot potato before one of the demons begins beating him repeatedly in the stomach. With a squeak she looks at the sack then the demon pummeling her best friend then Buffy pummeling one of the demons and continues to look around frantically for something to do to stop her being the one holding the bones of a child.

"Spike," she almost did a Snoopy dance in relief when her green eyes land on the bored vampire who was just sitting up on the edge of the hole watching them like they were a circus act or something.

He instinctively catches the bad she throws at him and she cringes guiltily upon seeing one of the Vahrall demons turn in the vampire’s direction, intent on retrieving the bones from him.

"Right," Spike gives her a glare and she shrugs apologetically as he scrambles to his feet to meet his assailant head on. "Perfect."

~*~*~

Still more to come ....