Christmas Frost and Fairies

Part Two....


Joyce finally broke the silence. "I
know things have been hard for
you, honey. I'm so sorry I had to
leave you that way."

Buffy sniffled. "I didn't even get to
say goodbye, Mom."

Her mother nodded. "I know. That's
one of the reasons I'm here. But,"
she added, "I can't stay long. Things
get a little busy up there around this
time of year."

"So...you're in Heaven?"

Joyce raised her eyebrows and
smiled. "Don't sound so surprised.
I was a pretty nice person, even if I
was an occasionally grumpy mom."

"Oh, you were," Buffy said quickly,
squeezing her mother's hand. "You
were the best. Everyone loved you. It's
just that..."

"Just what, honey?"

Buffy sighed. "Well...I was there, too. In
Heaven. I actually..." She paused. It was
still hard to say that she'd died. Such a
bizarre concept...coming back from the
grave.

Joyce helped her out. "I know what
happened to you, Buffy."

Buffy looked into her mother's eyes,
trying to collect her thoughts.

"But...if you were there...well, I always
thought that when you.. kno know...and
went to Heaven, then you got to be with
the people you loved. That 'we'll meet again
one day in Heaven' sort of thing?"

"That's very true," Joyce assured her.

Buffy was still confused. "Then why didn't
I...Mom, I never saw you there. Not even
one time." The memory still hurt. "Come
to think of it, I never met anyone in Heaven.
I mean, I saw people...but no one ever spoke
to me."

"I know, honey." Joyce passed a gentle
hand over her daughter's hair.

"Are you sure I was really there?"

Her mother laughed. "Of course you were
there. Now, where else would you be
after all the battles you fought against
Heaven's enemies?"

"Then how come everyone ignored me? Aren't
angels supposed to be nice to everybody?"

"Yes. And they are."

"Well, not to ME they weren't," Buffy mum-
bled.

Her mother hesitated briefly. "There WAS a
reason for that, Buffy...a reason why no one
came close to you, why you didn't see me."

"What reason?" Buffy asked. "Why?"

After another short pause, Joyce an-
swered. "Because you weren't supposed
to be there."

The slayer stared at her mother, eyes wide,
and mouth slightly open, horrified. "You...you
mean I was supposed to be in.." She couldn't
stand to say the word. "..the OTHER place?"

"Oh, no!" Joyce rushed to reassure her. "You
weren't supposed to be therT. IT. It wasn't
your time, honey. No where near it. That's
the reason I never came to you."

Buffy felt as though she were groping her
way through a dense fog, trying to under-
stand. "But whether it was my time or not..I
was THERE. Didn't you want to see me?"

"Honey...of course I wanted to see you." Joyce
pulled Buffy close, hugging her tightly. "Stay-
ing away from you was the hardest thing I'd
ever done. But...I had to do it."

Buffy shook headhead. "Why?"

Joyce sighed deeply. "Because I knew...every-
one knew...that you couldn't stay. You had
to go back, and we were afraid that if you
saw me...if I was with you...you would fight
it. It would have been much harder on you."

"But why couldn't I stay?" Buffy asked, her
voice shaky. "Why did I have to go back?"

Joyce pulled her daughter's head down on
her shoulder, holding her tenderly. "Because
you were still desperately needed here."

"You mean...youn thn the SLAYER was
needed here?" Buffy frowned. "But, there
would have been another one to take over."

Joyce shook her head. "No. I mean YOU...Buffy
Summers. You're the one who's needed here.
Honey, you are so deeply loved by everyone in
your life...by your sister, by your friends...and
by..."

"MOM" Buffy cut her mother off in mid-
sentence. "You said before that it wasn't my
time...that it was nowhere near it."

"Yes, that's rig"
"

"Does that mean that you know how much
time I still have?"

"Well..."

"Because slayers don't usually have a long
shelf life. We don't die of old age."

Joyce took hold of Buffy's hands. "Buffy...you
had years of your life stolen from you. That
was NOT God's plan."

These words made Buffy smile. "God has a
plan for me?"

"God has a plan for everyone," Joyce said firmly.
"Never doubt that."

"Yeah, okay...but..."

"Buffy...what are you? Not WHO are you...but
WHAT are you?"

Buffy considered the question. She was pretty
sure her mother wasn't asking if she was a
girl, or an american citizen, or a sister, or
an average student.

"I'm...the slayer?" she offered tentatively.

Joyce smiled. "Go on."

"Uh...the chosen one?"

"There you are," Joyce nodded. "Now...tell me
who chose you."

Buffy shrugged. It sounded so pretentious to
say it.

Joyce cupped one hand beneath Buffy's chin,
forcing her to meet her eyes. "God has chosen
you, Buffy. He's placed his finger on your heart,"
she said passionately. "You are his child. You are
his warrior. You are his emissary here on earth.
And what was done to you, was NOT to be
tolerated."

The edge of anger in Joyce's tone began to
fade. "Most of the time," she went on. "God
gives his children choices. Unfortunately,
many of them end up making the WRONG
choices."

Buffy smiled. "I've noticed that too."

"Yes. Well, in YOUR case, he couldn't give
you a choice," Joyce explained. "He needs
you here to fight for him...to do battle in his
name...and to help bring the ones who have
lost their way, who made the wrong choices,
out of the darkness and back into his light."

Buffy was silent as she processed this new
and startling revelation.

"Do you understand a little better now?" Joyce
asked.

Buffy nodded. "I think so." She looked at her
mother in wide eyed wonder. "It's just...I've
never thought of it that way before. It's such
an amazing thing."

"Enlightenment usually is," Joyce replied. "So,
don't blame your friends for taking you out of
Heaven. It really wasn't their doing."

"But, Willow...."

"I know. But who gave Willow the power? Who
told her what to do, and guided her hand?"

"She said that..."

Joyce shook her head. "No, Buffy. It was no
magic or mystical power. No spell, or witch-
craft, or sacred artifacts brought you back.
There is only one with that kind of power. He
simply...channeled it through Willow in a way
she was capable of understanding."

"So...so it was a plan?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," her mother stated emphatically. "Every
page of your life has already been written. Your
destiny was charted long before you were even
born."

Buffy's world and all of her preconceived notions
about it were crumbling like a house of cards,
thrown completely askew by these new revala-
tions.

Her "sacred duty" as Giles referro ito it,
suddenly seemed more sacred than ever."

"Your destiny was tampered with," Joyce
continued. "Altered by outside forces. THAT
is why God intervened. What was wrong,
had to be put right."

"For me?" Buffy sighed. "Wow."

"Yes. For you. And believe me, God does
not take such measures lightly. In fact,
it's extremely rare." Joyce glanced away
for a moment, deciding how to best explain
what she needed to say next, so as not
to hurt her daughter.

"Buffy...do you remember when Angel
came back...literally out of nowhere?"

"Of course I do," Buffy said.

"God wasn't finished with him. He needed
Angel here. There was still too much he
had to do." Joyce squeezed Buffy's hand
and smiled. "I can't reveal to you what it
is, but Angel has a destiny ahead of him that
will soon change him forever."

Buffy's heart nearly stopped. The words
'Angel' and 'change' were not always a
good combination.

"Not in a bad way," Joyce added quickly when
she saw Buffy's reaction to her words. "What's
going to happen will change several lives for
the better, and it will bring Angel the first
real peace he's ever known."

Buffy swallowed hard. "Will he..will it make him
happy?"

Joyce smiled at her daughter's wistful tone. "It
will make him very happy. But, don't worry...his
soul is secure. He's earned it."

**Angel will be happy...without me**

Buffy was surprised that the notion didn't
hurt as much as she would have expected
it to.

"Buffy? Are you all right?"

She smiled and leaned against her mother.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I want Angel to be happy. He
deserves it...even if I'm not a part of God's
plan for him anymore."

Buffy didn't see it when her mother turned
her head slightly, as thougmeonmeone had
called her name. "I know," she murmured.

Buffy raised her head. "What?"

Joyce turned back to her daughter. "Honey,
there's more I need to tell you, and I don't
have much more time, so listen closely."

"Okay...I am."

"I don't want to upset you by telling you
this, but...God's ultimate plans for Angel
never included you."

Buffy was completely surprised by this. "They
didn't? Ever?"

"No." Joyce shook her head. "Ang.wel.well,
Angel loved you in a way he'd never loved
anyone before. But...he didn't NEED you for
his salvation."

Buffy stared at her hands, rubbing the finger
that Angel's ring had once graced.

"But," Joyce touched Buffy's cheek, making
her look up. "There is another who needs you
desperately. Without you...he will be damned.
Eternally."

Buffy gazed at her mother calmly, as though
she'd been expecting these words all along.


TBC.....