This little girl

I’m going to be out tomorrow and so I thought I would post an extra chapter here today. There probably won’t be anything tomorrow.

This is kinda heavy, but I felt like it needed to be done. I hope it explains the things going on between Angel and Faith. Also, everyone else gets their say, as well. It’s kind of risky, but I think they needed to say it. Everyone else in the story has been putting up with a whole lot of crap from the tragic slayers. Except Angel. He needs putting in his place too.

So yeah, hope you like it. And of course (and I know I’m being very redundant here but…) I hope you review it. Otherwise I will cry because I don’t think you like me. It’s not good for my fragile ego.

Enjoy and Thanks for reading.

Disclaimer is that I don’t own them.

Chapter 19

Faith’s POV

Bout fucking time this shit goes down. I’m just about sick of all of Angel’s bullshit.

I followed him into his office. Well, we sure as hell can’t fight in there. I guess we can actually, but make more sense to fight outside or in the foyer.

He’s looking at me with that firmness that just pisses me the fuck off. “Are you coming or not?” Oh, how do you love that dramatic sigh he’s got? Fucker can’t even breathe.

“Whatever,” I snap, following him inside. I didn’t get as close to him as I could have. I wanted to anticipate his move. My body was coiled.

“I don’t want to fight you Faith,” again with the sigh.

“Could have fooled the hell out of me,” I told him, not releasing my stance. “Seems all you’ve wanted to do since I got here was fight.”

“You haven’t been exactly personable,” He growled. He’s like a petulant child. Jeez. Whine much?

“What do you expect?” I tried not to get to loud. I knew the others were in the other room. “You act like…well like a baby. Moping around this fucking hotel.” I backed off. Just a little. “I know why you don’t want me here. You fucking think I’m an idiot? Pining all over this hotel cause you can’t get into Buffy’s pants.” I ran a hand through my hair, “And I never told her. That’s what it is, isn’t it? You are afraid I am going to say something aren’t you?”

He smirked, “Aren’t you? I wasn’t the only one there that night.”

I shook my head. “Fuck you.”

Hell, three years ago. It was the night I’d fucking decided to leave those sleazy motels and never ever return. I don’t know why I’d forgotten about the pill. I was an idiot.

“Faith,” he had breathed my name out. Almost a whisper, across the smoky bar. Even from across the room I’d heard him.

I had turned slowly. Just in time to see him coming. He was walking with a purpose, not letting one goddamn emotion pass his fucking face. I, on the other hand, was furious.

I had put my cigarette out. And removed the woman’s hand from my thigh. “Wait here.” I spoke with a harshness that I’d missed. No question there who was in charge.

She took a ragged breath. Yeah, she liked it. I had picked her for a reason.

It had taken me all night to single her out. Four bars and three hours later and I knew she was the one. Designer shoes, designer jewelry, and a designer girlfriend. I’d gotten rid of the last one pretty quickly.

I walked up to him. Meeting him half way. “Soul boy.”

He had nodded at me and motioned with his head to the couch on the other side of the room. We walked over to the seat just as someone was sitting down. “Get the fuck up,” I said. He scurried off. Yep, I had still had it. I had turned to him. “I’d ask how you knew I was here, but I already know. So why don’t we get this over with? Cause truthfully, I had quite a catch over there. Rich and reasonably hot. Terribly hard to come by.”

He wasn’t taking the bait. Always sighing, this motherfucker. “Not here to fight with you.”

“Well, that’s good. Cause I don’t have time for that.” I had motioned with my head to the girl from earlier.

“Yes Faith. You’ve made it quite clear that you plan on snagging that woman over there.” He’d answered.

“Well. Now that you know I’m not coming back. You can tell B. I can’t fucking believer she sent you of all people anyway.” I had shaken my head. “She can’t do anything for herself.”

“Quit being so arrogant. She doesn’t know I’m here. And if I have anything to do with it, she never will.” He’d answered me with an uncharacteristic flash of anger. “We’ve been looking for you for over two years. Even after she thought we had stopped. The coven contacted Giles this morning. And I came. No one else knows I’m here.” He looked at his hands, “Lots of things have changed at that hotel.”

“Yeah, well, fuck you…I don’t care. It’s not my business anymore. I’m getting on with my life.”

Angel had looked around the bar. “Yeah Faith. You are the poster girl for ‘all together.’”

“Again I say…fuck you.” He had always made me so angry when he wanted. Fucking pushing buttons like he was some kind of…well, button pusher. “You have no right to come in here and judge me.”

“Oh please, I didn’t come here to judge you. One reason I came here was to see that you are ok.” He looked at me, “Got that answer pretty quickly.” He had paused, “Why are you doing this? Don’t you even want to know how everyone is? How she is?”

And in the end that had always been it. Buffy. The one thing that would haunt me and the big Brood the rest of our lives. For him, that must seem like one hell of a long time.

“I’m through with all of this. She wasn’t the only one hurting. All any of you ever cared about was her.”

He had sighed, well there’s a shocker. This fucker sure did sigh a lot for a dead guy. “And was it a competition Faith? Cause I didn’t know you were collecting who loves who points? And if I’m not mistaken, you were at the front of the I love Buffy line.”

I had tensed. “I was at the front. You’re right about that. But I’m not anymore. I don’t care.”

The woman from earlier had picked that moment to walk up. “Faith?” Fuck, didn’t I tell her to wait.

Decision time. I had looked to him. He had spoken as I rose. “Faith, don’t do this. You don’t understand. There’s things…things you need to know.”

Fuck him. It had been over two years. I couldn’t see her again. She…I just couldn’t. Fuck the whole thing. I hadn’t made it that far for nothing. “Sorry Angel.” I had said, following the woman out of the bar.

Truthfully, I had expected him to follow me out. Had almost wished he would. But he didn’t. He didn’t even move.


He shook his head when I’d said ‘fuck you.’ And then got that smug look back. I was quickly getting scared that B was outside of the office. She could be, couldn’t she? She didn’t need…I didn’t want her…oh fuck, I don’t even know anymore.

Angel shrugged his shoulders and walked to his desk. Thinking better of sitting down I guess, he rose at the last minute and started pacing. “I don’t want to kick your ass now,” He said. Well thanks for the fucking info. “But I could’ve kicked your ass that night.”

“Back at ya.” Couldn’t say I didn’t want to kick his ass now, though. He stopped pacing. I started. “You could have told me.”

“You didn’t want to hear anything,” he said from behind me.

I spun on him. “Please Angel. I would have wanted to know that. Jesus, what do you think of me?” Asshole.

“I don’t know Faith. What do you think I think of you? That you are pigheaded? Yeah. That you are spoiled? Yeah. That you are way too concerned about yourself to even see the people in front of you? Yeah,” he nodded, “some of the time, yeah. So so proud that…you wouldn’t even listen.”

“Fuck you. You knew I would have listened to that. Knew I would have reacted.”

“And how would you have reacted? Huh? Ever think about that?”

“I would have come back here. I would have…I would have fixed all of this.”

He paced. “Don’t lie to me. You didn’t even believe Buffy was being faithful when you left. Didn’t wait for her to explain. Didn’t do anything but throw a fit and walk out. If I had told you about her, you would have thought that Buffy had been cheating on you. You would have never believed me. You know that.”

I slammed my hands on the desk, “I don’t know anything! How do you know how I would’ve reacted.” I was screaming and yet I couldn’t help it. “You didn’t give me a chance.” I lunged at him. He caught my arms, and I kicked him. “You weren’t supposed to decide. You’re not God.”

He swung at me connecting with my left cheek. Fuck a motherfucker, that hurt. I grabbed him, pushing him against the wall. He shoved me back and jumped on me.

And was immediately pulled off. B.

“Get the fuck up! Both of you! Now!” She grabbed me and pulled me into a standing position, only to shove me to one side of the room. She turned and shoved Angel to the other.

Neither one of us spoke, watching her. I knew that she had heard what we were talking about. We were both stupid if we thought she hadn’t. “Buffy,” I tried.

She swung around. “No!” Um, ok. Shutting up. “Neither one of you need to say a word. And before you ask, I heard you. If you got a problem with that, take your little catfights outside next time.”

“Buffy, I can explain…” Bad move, big boy.

She spun the other way, “Are you fucking listening to me!?! Shut up!” Her voice was getting pretty loud. She moved to sit on his desk, looking at both of us back and forth. Finally she looked down at the ground. “At least I know what all this crap was about. I don’t even know what to think about it. Seems to me both of you were a little stupid. And selfish. And…stupid.” Probably wasn’t the time to point out that she had just said that. “Why do you think you always have to protect me?” Her voice was weak.

Were we supposed to answer that? Cause not really looking to get my head beat in here. I looked at Angel. He shrugged. Guess he was feeling the same way.

She raised her head quickly, “Do either of you have something to say for yourselves?”

Both of us shook our heads. Umm nope, not me. Broody boy? He was going with the big no too. Smarter than I gave him credit for.

She sighed. “The stupidest part of this whole thing is that the two of you were each other’s saviors. Isn’t that right?” A rhetorical question. We stayed silent. “And you let petty jealousy come between you. Or was it me? It’s always me, isn’t it?” She began to cry but we didn’t move.

She just shook her head and looked to the door. I heard it that time. Fuck if those idiots were not outside.

She rolled her eyes. “Open the door. We know you’re out there.”

Well lookie here, here comes the pussy parade. Yipee.

Buffy’s POV

I’d heard the door. Guess they were all out there by now.

“Open the door. We know you’re out there.”

We waited a few moments. I heard Cordy, “move I’ll open it.”

They were all standing there. Except Annie. Where was she? Faith asked my question. “Where’s Annie?”

Dawn answered. “With Andrew. Not that any of you seem to care.”

I sighed, “don’t start that shit Dawnie.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up Buffy.” What the fuck? Who does Kennedy think she is? I looked to Willow to see if she’d stopped her. She hadn’t even flinched. She looked pissed. In fact, all of them looked pissed. “Dawn’s right. You don’t care. So when the stupid shouting began,” she looked from Faith to Angel. “Which, we all heard by the way, Andrew offered to take her across the street to get some ice cream. Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

I was about to say something and Willow moved. “Don’t even think about it Buffy.”

“This doesn’t concern you, Wills.”

Xander snickered. “Give me a break Buff. It is too bad that we are not good enough to be involved in your pity fests.” He said, mockingly.

Angel spoke up, “Guys maybe you…”

Xander spun on him, “no you shut up too!” Whoa that was kinda scary. He looked to Faith. She shrugged, not saying anything. Apparently that was a good idea.

Cordy strolled forward. She had been uncharacteristically quiet. Never a good sign. She opened her mouth. And then closed it. Looked at the others and shook her head. She started again, “Ok, here’s the deal. I’ve said it like fifteen thousand damn times but you are not listening. Stop This Drama.” Her voice was unusually even. “We are sick of it. All of us.”

Fuck her. This is not about her. “This is not about you.”

Her face got red. “Oh that’s old hat isn’t it? Well screw you O Holy One. In fact, screw all three of you. This is about me. This is about all of us. You three think you are the only ones in this hotel, hell apparently in the world, who have problems.” I went to speak and she raised her hand. “That wasn’t a question. I don’t need an answer from you.” I was still going to interrupt but the others’ death stares were enough to keep me quiet. “Look at us. Contrary to what you may think, we exist outside of the tragedy that is Buffy and Faith. You are not the only ones that have been in pain. Look around this room. All of us have. Hell Xander even lost an eye. But do you hear us whining? No. Are we sulking around like the two McBroody twins here? No. Wanna fucking know why? Cause we can’t. What we are doing is fixing the fucking mess that you have created.” Angel started to say something. “Don’t. You are just as bad.” She shook her head in disgust, “maybe even worse. Willow lost Tara, almost destroyed the world and picked up a slayer. Xander, as I aforementioned, lost an eye. And Anya. Dawn, jeez where do I start huh? Mystical key that unlocks the world scary enough for ya? Or how about being an orphan? And losing a sister, just to get her creepy ass back half a year later? And losing the others…Tara, Anya? And Kennedy, apparently the only slayer in this house with any sense, cause she knows the world is not revolving around her. What about her? She’s not moping around ‘oh, my calling…blah blah blah.’ She just does her fucking job. And me? Well, let’s see. For more years than I care to count at this moment, I’ve been stuck in this hotel with all of this damn whining and pouting and loudass fucking until I want to kill you. I am sick of the drama. Sick of it. You might need to understand what I mean by that. We are prepared to leave. And take Annie with us. Cause you fuck ups have given us more than enough reasons to lock you in this room and never let you out.”

Faith growled at her. I spoke first, “Take her and let’s see what happens. If you want to leave that’s fine.” I looked around the room, “All of you. Get out.”

Willow walked up, “You know that’s typical Buffy. You get your feelings hurt and you lash out. You still think we all play second fiddle to you, don’t you? You’ve never thought any different.”

I steadied my breathing, “You know that isn’t true.” I couldn’t control the harshness as easily.

Xander piped up. “The fuck it isn’t Buffy. Why do you think we stay around here? Because of the three of you? Give us all a break. We are not that dependent. You are not the center of our life. In fact, if it weren’t for Annie, and I’m thinking I’m not speaking for just myself here when I say, we’d have been gone a long time ago.”

“…And never looked back.” Dawn added.

What was this? I turned to Faith. She looked ashamed. Her face flashed. Ok, and angry. Angel was staring at the ground. A little help here guys. I began to speak.

“Oh, shut up Buffy, no one wants to hear what you have to say.” Cordy said.

“Guess not Cordy, when you are always running your big mouth.”

“She’s right Buffy, shut up.” My sister again. Why is she doing this? Why are they all doing this? “She’s right. That’s why you can’t stand it. She’s always right.” She looked at Cordelia. “Except for the being hotter than me…”She shook her head, “but everything else…well she’s beating the rest of us in spades. It makes you sick that she doesn’t worship you.”

Willow smirked, and looked to Kennedy. “Yeah, apparently she’s not as stupid as the rest of us.” Well, lookie at Cordy’s smug face. Bitch. Willow leaned towards Kennedy, “Probably all should have listened to her.” She said under her breath.

I turned to her, “What!?!”

She got closer to me, “I said we should have listened to her.” Her eyes were starting to flash. And scare me. Kennedy put her hand on her arm. “Buffy,” she was calmer when she spoke. She turned to the others, “Faith…Angel. Fix this shit. Fix it now. Fix it once and for all.” She slowed her breathing. “Cause if you don’t…well, I’ll let you imagine.” I saw the flash again. All three of us did. “I’m sick of this. Everyone is sick of this. Your daughter was outside listening to everything earlier. It seemed to me that not a one of you cared enough to do a damn thing about that. Annie has cried to us more than once about not being loved. We lie to her. Tell her her mother’s love her. That they put her first. Well what fucking bullshit.”

Dawn nodded. “We are old enough to know better. She isn’t. And a promise I can make to you big sis is this – any more of this stupid melodramatic theatrics and we are all…and I do mean ALL out of here. Think about that.”

God. I didn’t even know what to think. I looked to Faith, who was doing the same thing as Angel. Studying her shoes. Great. Glad they’re so brave.

I wanted to speak, but any urge I had was shot down by the looks of death I was getting from the five of them. I had never seen all of them mad at me like this before. Well there was the one time…with the First. And they had been wrong. They had. But now…I don’t know. I shut my mouth. My shoes were starting to get just as interesting.

They turned around to leave, but stopped. I looked up.

In walked Giles, Annie on his shoulders giggling like it was Christmas. Andrew was behind them.

“Well, there you all are,” Giles said brightly. “Andrew here seems to be struck dumb. I was beginning to get concerned.”

No one said anything. He looked around the room. Faith was hiding behind the others.

“They were fighting.” Annie said.

Giles lowered her and she ran to Cordy. Who promptly picked her up. My heart fell to the floor. She’s upset and she doesn’t even think about it. It’s always to one of them. Even after I’ve tried to rectify the way I acted when she was born, I don’t think it was ever enough.

He looked at each of us. A stern warning on his face. “What does she mean by that?” He turned suddenly, “Faith!” He had just seen her. “My god. What are…when did…”he turned to Willow, “What is going on here?”

Cordelia switched Annie to her hip. Willow had shrugged, so Cordy prepared to answer. “What do you think? You’re supposed to be smart.”

He took off his glasses, “Well that wasn’t very helpful, Cordelia.”

He settled on Xander. I could see he was still angry with us. He wasn’t masking it well. “It’s Buffy and Faith. Volume Two. Packed with more angsty drama for your enjoyment.”

He nodded, “I see. Still on that are we?” He looked between us.

I thought of something. “You knew Angel saw her?” I asked him.

He sighed. I felt like a teenager again. “Yes Buffy, I did. But I couldn’t rightly tell you, now could I? You don’t take to rejection very maturely. And you had moved on. You had Monica.” He looked at Faith for a moment, “I’d ask where she was by the way,” and shook his head sadly, “but I’m willing to wager I already know the answer to that. As for the other, I had no idea what happened that night he went to her. All I knew was that Faith wasn’t coming back. And that she would never forget to take that pill again.”

I had no idea what pill he was talking about. It still pissed me off that he had known.

“Oh no,” Cordy held up her hand, “use your brain, slayer. What did we just say? Don’t start in on him.” Annie had her head buried in Cordy’s shoulder. She rubbed her back and looked at me. She turned her body and looked at the other two…well I was starting to think of us as culprits, as well. Faith was staring at Cordelia’s hand. She was soothing Annie, smoothing down her hair. Faith looked as if she was going to be sick. Cordelia noticed it, “Yes Faith. I see the light has finally come on. I’m glad to see it hadn’t blown completely out.” She turned to me, “Now you two,” she gestured to Angel, “take a lesson from Faithie here. Cause she seems to get what I’m talking about.” She began to walk out of the room. My world on her shoulder. Literally. And Annie didn’t even give us a cursory glance. I could tell she felt safe with Cordelia when she wrapped her arms tighter around Cordy’s neck. The others moved to let her pass. She turned her head around at the door. “And Buffy. Put that freakin lip in. Jeez. That is so unattractive. And way over done. Get a new look.” And out she went. Everyone else followed.

Giles stood at the door, “I still don’t know what exactly is going on here,” He caught each of our eyes separately, “but I don’t even think anything they tell me will be surprising. I do know this though, one, two, or more likely, all three of you have done something bloody fucking stupid.” He looked at me specifically, “now do something that does surprise me. Find a way to fix this. You three have been through enough apocalypses to know that not everything is the end of the world. Even when you are at the center of it.” He shut the door behind him.

I stared at the floor again. Nobody said anything. Well this was a whole new kind of awkward.