BAD ANGEL

A/N: Although this story isn't done I do want to take a moment to thank my beta, Premiere. He has been invaluable to the writing process and has helped me immensely. I also want to plug his fic on this site, "Reckonings." It's not as heavy as Bad Angel but it's an interesting story.
Also, thanks to all of you who take the time to review. Reading your comments is as rewarding as writing.

Part 18


For several long moments Buffy remained motionless, she still didn’t know what to say to him. All she could do was gaze at the raw emotion in his eyes. She’d forgotten how expressive his eyes were. They haunted her.

Angel silently watched Buffy struggle with her uncertainty. He knew she wanted to say something but had no idea where to start. He wanted to help but he was also at a loss. He too was thrown by his confession, he’d never planned to share so much about his life after the trial. It was something he rarely spoke of. And when he did, it was certainly with no one other than Lindsey. Now he felt strangely naked and vulnerable. The same way he felt the morning she confronted him about Ethan. The morning he beat her.
Closing his eyes, he visibly flinched at the memory. The violence made him cringe. He had truly become a monster. And suddenly he couldn’t look at her anymore.

Buffy instantly sensed the change in him. For a fleeting moment, he was an open book and she glimpsed the turmoil within. And then it was gone. Something made him shut down.
Hoping to prevent him from withdrawing further, she grasped his shirt, encouraging him to look at her.
But he wouldn’t.
“Angel, please … what is it?” She had no idea why but she felt this was important.
Her plea nearly broke his resolve before he remembered where they were. Ignoring her question he firmly gripped her wrists and stood with her. He couldn’t afford to draw more attention to them and two people sitting on the ground staring at each other in the middle of a parking lot would do just that.
Returning to the car, he placed her in the backseat with the child locks on and then got into the driver’s seat.
Without a word he pulled out of the parking space and onto the road.

The drive back was uncomfortably silent.
Buffy wanted to press him to answer her question but she also vividly recalled the morning she confronted him about Ethan. Sensing this was dangerous territory she backed off. She didn’t care to repeat the experience.
From the driver’s seat, Angel watched her in the rearview mirror. He knew she wanted to pursue the issue but he hoped she’d let it go. He didn’t want to talk about it.
But he didn’t want to push her away either.
Pulling to the side of the road he finally gave her something, “I’m sorry I ignored your question but where we were was too out in the open.” Then taking a deep breath he turned to her, “As to what I said about my family and my life, I’d rather not get into it. It’s in the past and I’d rather you let it stay that way.”
Infuriated she replied, “Isn’t that convenient … when it’s uncomfortable for you then it should remain in the past yet your entire reason for everything you’ve done to me is because of the past. A past that neither you nor I had anything to do with.”
She couldn’t simply let it go, could she?
No, she had to push his buttons until he was ready to explode.
But rather than hurt her again he simply pulled onto the road and continued the drive to the villa. This time, he would not allow his anger to get the better of him.

But as he drove he couldn’t help but feel her eyes on him and when he glanced back at her through the mirror, she met his reflected gaze challengingly. She was not backing down. Angel sighed.
His plans for the evening clearly weren’t going well.
But one thing that stood out in his mind was their encounter in the parking lot. For a brief moment there was something gentle in her eyes, in her voice. And when she gripped his shirt, he couldn’t help but feel her sincerity. She was open to him. But then he withdrew and so did she. It was a moment he should have seized. But he didn’t want her sympathy. He wanted her.

Pulling into the garage, Angel looked back at her one last time and made a decision. He was going to do something that he knew would scare her; something he’d probably regret but hoped would force them past this impasse.
Moving to the rear door, he opened it and patiently waited to assist her. When she took his proffered hand, he suddenly pulled her into his arms, turning her to him.
Before she could react he was on her, his mouth hungrily devouring hers, muffling her protests. Her hands came up, pushing against his chest as she felt him move between her thighs. Keeping the door blocked, he used his weight to push her onto her back before climbing in with her and closing the door. Pinning her with his body, he plundered her mouth; cautious she might bite him again while his hands eagerly explored her.
Buffy was panicking. She was still fuming over his arrogant dismissal of her question and hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t tried anything in two weeks. So here she was about to be raped again and her limbs felt like lead. She knew her crippling fear would rear its head at the worst possible moment.
Then suddenly he stopped.
And she felt his weight move from her.
Hesitantly she opened her eyes only to meet his warm dark ones hovering just above her.
She closed hers again. Waiting.
Then she heard the car door open again and felt herself being lifted.
Where was he taking her?
Daring to open her eyes again she looked at him questioningly.
Offering no explanation, he continued carrying her through the house.
“Please … I can walk.” She hated the sensation of being carried, especially by him.
“I know you can.” And he continued carrying her as if his response were the final word on the matter.
Well, it was. After the incident in the car Buffy really was in no mood to push him further. He might actually finish what he started.

Seeing their approach, Luke opened the door to the suite for Angel to pass through with his quarry.

Angel then passed through the sitting room and straight into the bedroom where he gently deposited his load onto the bed.
Scrambling away from him, Buffy moved to the far side of the bed, anticipating his next move.
For a few moments he strolled the room, considering what he was to say.
Then turning to her, he announced, “I’ve come to a decision. You and I will never deal with the issues between us if we continue avoiding each other. So I will be moving back into this room with you.”
Buffy felt the color drain from her face, her mouth agape.
Seeing her stricken expression he hastened to add, “I will not force you to have sex but I will not allow you to run from me either.”
“You expect me to believe that after what you just did in the car?”
“You have no other choice.”
At her stunned silence, he added, “We’ll talk more about this in the morning. For now, I think we should both rest.”
Then he started removing his shirt.
“What are you doing?” She asked alarmed.
“Preparing for bed.” Her eyes widened in realization.
“You’re staying in here … with me … tonight?” Her voice was near hysterical.
“Yes.”
If it were possible, she got even paler.
“Angel please … don’t … I just need more time.”
“More time? I think you’ve had just about enough time.”
“It’s only been two weeks, two weeks is nothing … after everything … how can you expect that to be enough time?”
“That’s just it Buff, two weeks or two years, it doesn’t matter. You’ll never get over it and I was foolish to think you could.”
“So you think forcing yourself back in here is going to make it any better?”
“Probably not … but I don’t see how it can make it any worse.” He then moved to the bathroom and continued removing his shirt.
Following, Buffy grasped his hand, pulling him back, “Angel, I’ll try harder … I’ll spend more time with you, we can play tennis whenever you want, just … please give me more time … just a few more days.” He forced himself not to look at her; if he did he was certain she’d see through his ruse.
When he deliberately took another step into the bathroom, she moved ahead of him, clutching his hand in earnest.
Then she did the most unexpected thing. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest, stroking him gently.
Struck by her actions, he closed his eyes at the feel of her against him. Her touch was so tentative and gentle.
Keeping his voice stern, “What exactly do you mean by trying harder?”
She stiffened.
“Would you allow me to kiss you?” He offered when she remained silent.
After a moment, she nodded against him.
When he seemed to be considering it she dared to nestle even closer to him.
“Please …” She squeaked as she nuzzled against his chest.
That did it. He knew he couldn’t keep up the pretense much longer.
Taking a deep breath, “How much longer do you need?”
“Another two weeks?” She asked eagerly gazing up at him.
“You just said a few days.”
“Please … another two weeks …” This time her plea broke him.
And it took all his will power to pry her off him.
Then lifting her chin, he looked into eyes, her unshed tears glistening in the light.
“Do you really think this extra time is going to make a difference?”
“Yes, it’ll help …that’s all I’m asking for … please.”
“Are you sure about this? I’ll give you two more weeks and in that time you promise to try harder and we can spend more time together?”
She nodded firmly
“And what happens at the end of those two weeks? I won’t allow you to change your mind.” At her reluctance to reply he offered, “Perhaps that’s something we’ll discuss in more detail when the time comes?”
Again she nodded, relieved that at least for now she was safe.
“Well then I guess the only thing left is to seal the deal.”
He felt her stiffen even more.
Lowering his head, he lightly brushed his lips against her forehead. Then holding her gaze gently lifted her hand to his mouth, lightly kissing it.
Before changing his mind and ravishing her there on the bathroom floor, he stepped back, holding onto his last shred of control. “I shall see you in the morning then?”
She nodded
Without another word he left.

When she heard the outer door close, Buffy sighed in relief. Those last moments with him were incredibly tense and she sensed how close he came to taking it much further. Taking deep breaths to calm her racing pulse, she slumped against the wall to support herself. What did this mean? Even she hadn’t exactly thought through what she meant by trying harder but at that moment she would have agreed to almost anything to stop him from moving back in. She didn’t want him that close to her. And now she had two weeks, two weeks to find a way to put as much distance between them as possible.

In the guestroom, Angel sighed. Buffy bought his bluff hook, line and sinker. He was pretty sure the moves he put on her in the car helped convince her that he was serious. Admittedly he felt somewhat guilty for deceiving her, let alone attacking her, but he needed to do something. It was a gamble he had to take. And thankfully he now had more time before he really had intended to move back in with her. Of course, he knew she was just buying time and as vague as ‘trying harder’ was, at least now she had to be more receptive to him. He also knew he’d have to watch her like a hawk since she obviously had no intentions of actually sharing a bed with him again. She’d probably try to run again. But he wasn’t worried about that. If things went as he hoped, she’d never run from him again.


The following morning Lindsey knocked lightly as he entered Buffy’s door, announcing his arrival. When he didn’t see her waiting for him in the sitting room, he took out his book and sat patiently, assuming she was still getting dressed.
Some moments later he heard her voice and just below hers was a distinctly familiar, masculine one. Angel.
Angel was still with her? By now he was usually gone.
Unsure what he might be interrupting Lindsey stood preparing to come back later when he heard Angel call to him.
Turning around, his eyes nearly popped from his head when he saw Angel standing behind Buffy, his arms wrapped securely around her.
“Angel. Buffy.” He greeted them curiously after recovering his voice. After days on end of listening to Buffy proclaim her abhorrence for the man behind her, this was quite a shock.
They both nodded in return.
Then Angel slowly released her, “I’ll see you for lunch.” He then kissed her forehead.
Lindsey nearly choked. Their evening together must have been fairly successful since Buffy wasn’t climbing the wall to get away from him. In fact, she was holding his hand.
“I can come back another time …” Lindsey ventured.
“No, no, I must see to some things today … take care of her for me.”
“I always do.”

When they were alone Lindsey looked at her curiously, then sitting, “Well you two certainly are friendly all of a sudden … I’ll hang here till you get out of the shower.”
“Excuse me?”
“The shower … that is where you’re headed right?”
“I’ve already showered this morning.”
“Well I assume so but after that little performance I figured you’d be eager to wash every trace of him from you.”
“Hmm, well after being with both of you for so long I think I’m developing some tolerance … unfortunately.”
“Unfortunate for you perhaps but I’m sure Angel is glad for it. So, how long do you plan to keep this up?”
“Keep what up?”
“The smiling, the touching … is this your new strategy?”
“Strategy … what are you talking about?”
“You can give it up now Buffy, there wasn’t an ounce of sincerity behind those coy smiles of yours so come on … share.”
“Lindsey, it’s not what you …”
“Come on Buffy, you can’t seriously think I bought that.”
“I don’t care what you think.”
“Perhaps … but more importantly, do you really think he bought it?”
When she didn’t answer he added, “Let’s be honest, just yesterday you didn’t want to even be in the same room with him and now you’re acting like newlyweds.”
“First of all, I was hardly acting like a newlywed. And you’re right, I don’t want to be in the same room with him, which is why I had to … do that.”
At Lindsey’s obvious confusion she elaborated, explaining their compromise.
“So you’re telling me to stop him from moving back in here last night you basically decided to give him some touch in exchange for more time?”
“If you must put it like that, yes.”
“Interesting logic …”
“Well it’s better than being around him 24-7 and wondering each time I go to sleep if he’s going to force himself on me.”
“Fine, I get that … so what happens when your time’s up?”
“I don’t know … I guess he’ll move back in … we haven’t discussed that yet.”
“I see.” Then looking at her suspiciously, he added, “But you don’t plan to find out, do you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She replied indignantly.
But her eyes gave her away.
“Buffy …”
“Leave me alone, Lindsey … I don’t want to talk today.”
When she turned to go back into the bedroom, Lindsey shot up out of his seat, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to face him.
“Don’t play that game with me little girl. You know damn straight what I’m talking about but I’ll spell it out for you, just to be clear. I know you’re planning to run away again. And trust me, so does he. Don’t think just because he’s all kisses and tenderness with you now that he won’t hurt you. Everyone has a breaking point and if you keep pushing him the way you have been, you’ll be sure to find his. And I can guarantee it won’t be pretty. You make another wrong move and I promise you will regret it and I’m not just talking about Angel. There are people around him who will not let you ruin him, myself included. So don’t you dare think I’m joking. I hate to be cruel but you don’t seem to understand any other way. I am saying this for your own good so if I were you, I’d take this time getting used to the idea of sleeping with him again.” Then releasing his steel grip on her, he returned to his seat.
Buffy stood shocked by the sudden change in him.
She’d never seen Lindsey like that before. He was always so kind and patient with her. For a moment she really thought he was going to hit her.
For a few long moments she just stood there, silently stunned.
Then suddenly, the tears she was fighting ran down her flushed cheeks and she closed her eyes as they came forth. But refusing to let him see her cry, she fled into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her as she flung her self back into the bed.


Hours later Angel returned to the suite to find Lindsey sitting alone reading his book.
“Where’s Buffy?”
“I believe she’s in the room resting.”
“Resting … is she sick?”
“Hmm, I don’t think so, she’s rather upset.”
“About what?”
“I think you should ask her.”
Furrowing his brow at Lindsey’s evasiveness, he cautiously entered the bedroom, unsure what to expect.
Buffy was prone, her face buried in the pillows.
Moving closer, he listened to her deep steady breathing, she was asleep.
Crouching next to the bed, he lightly caressed her back, rousing her.
When she stirred, he softly called to her.
Then suddenly she woke and jumped away from him, startled.
He pulled back, hands raised in surrender.
“It’s ok Baby, I’m just checking on you.”
It took a moment for her to fully wake and realize what he said.
Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and moved further away from him.
“Are you sick?”
“I’m just tired.” She mumbled, unsure what Lindsey might have told him.
“I see.” He answered, choosing not to comment on her tear-stained cheeks. She’d obviously been crying.
“Would you care to have your lunch later then?”
“Um, no, I’m ready … I’ll just go and freshen up.”
She then climbed from the bed and moved into the bathroom.
When she was gone, Angel returned to the sitting room.
When Lindsey looked up, “Why was she crying?”
“I told you, she was upset.”
“About what?”
“She didn’t tell you?”
“I am asking you.”
“Well then, I simply reminded her that any future escape attempts would be … a grave mistake on her part.”
“I see … and how exactly did you remind her?”
“I didn’t touch her Angel … I’ll leave that to you.”
“I didn’t mean it like that … I know you wouldn’t do that … but what did you say to her?”
“Just that the compromise you two came to last night doesn’t mean we’re not watching her.”
“She told you about that?”
“Yes.”
“And what do you think?”
“That you’d better keep a very close eye on her.”
“Yes but besides that?”
“Nothing … I guess you’re doing what you have to but it seems like you’re back to step one to me.”
“That’s true in some ways but it’s different now.”
“Perhaps … of course I’m surprised you’ve waited this long. Ordinarily you’d have had your way with her by now.”
“I know … this is unchartered territory for me Linds but I need to do something. She’ll never come to me otherwise.”
“I get that … so she’s been cooperating?”
“Pretty much … you saw her this morning, she’s been fairly receptive.”
“Fairly?”
“Well she’s not overly eager for me to touch her but she doesn’t resist. Anyway, I have to be careful how far I push her, my moving back in will only intimidate her so much.”
“So you really plan to do it … to move back in here?”
“Oh yes … eventually. It was a mistake to leave in the first place, she has to get used to being with me and staying in the guestroom isn’t helping.”
“Well I hope you can sleep with one eye open, she may try to attack you again.”
“Perhaps but I’m prepared for her.”
“I hope so.” Then standing, “Well you two lovebirds have a nice lunch, I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
“Sure.”
When Angel moved to return to the bedroom, Lindsey touched his shoulder, “Listen, I’m sorry I upset her.”
Nodding, “I know … it’s just … this has been difficult for her … for us all.”
Both cousins nodded in understanding before Lindsey took his leave.

In the bathroom Buffy splashed her face with cool water. She was stalling. She really didn’t want to deal with Angel right then. But it was this or share a bed with him again.
Sighing she turned off the water and examined her face in the mirror. Her eyes were slightly red and puffy, her face drawn. She looked tired.
Well, she was.
She hadn’t slept well at all after Angel left her the night before. She was awake most of the night half expecting him to change his mind and ravage her. When it wasn’t that she worried incessantly that she had made the worst mistake of her life by agreeing to this. When she did finally get to sleep she tossed and turned constantly. By morning she was exhausted.
She still wasn’t sure about this. Being this close to Angel unnerved her. It made her feel vulnerable and not just for the obvious reasons. She’d finally managed to suppress the affinity she had for him and letting him this close again set her on edge. She didn’t like this arrangement one bit. And now with Lindsey.
Suddenly a knock on the door broke through her thoughts. It was Angel of course, being the concerned rapist she knew him to be.
Taking a deep breath, she collected herself and went out to meet him for lunch.


Later that afternoon Buffy sat watching television when there was knock on the door.
Assuming it was Angel she simply called out for him to enter.
She was surprised to see Lindsey instead. She immediately tensed.
Remaining near the door, he took a moment to really look at her, “I’m sorry for my behavior earlier. I shouldn’t have been so rough with you.”
When she merely looked at him, he continued, “I didn’t mean to frighten you … well, I did but I didn’t mean to be so physical with it … it’s just … I am very protective of him … and I know this may be hard for you to accept given the circumstances but … he has gone through a lot.”
“You’re right, given my position in this, that is hard for me to accept.”
“Accept it or not, I am very loyal to him … we’ve been through everything together. I don’t want to see him hurt.”
“You think I can hurt him?”
“I know you can … and so do you.”
At her surprise he added, “Oh don’t pretend you don’t know … he’d do almost anything for you.”
“Yes but the one thing I want he refuses to give me.”
“Perhaps.”
Curious at his insinuation, she prodded, “What do you mean?”
“Nothing, just perhaps he would if you asked him the right way.”
Looking at him coldly, “You mean if I sleep with him.”
“Well I’m sure it’ll take more than a romp in the sack but yes, that would be part of it.” At her incredulous expression he replied, “Hey, I’m not saying it’s a guarantee but he’d probably be more amenable if you were.”
“You’re sick, both of you are. I am not about to barter with my body.”
“You did it for your sister, why not for yourself?”
“Get out!” She hissed.
When he turned to leave she jumped from her seat angrily, “You know what I don’t understand?”
“What?” He asked turning back to her.
“How you can just sit there and watch him do this … you just sat there and watched what he did to Cordelia, you knew what he was doing to me and you just sat there and let it happen. I know you’re loyal to him but if you really cared about him you wouldn’t let him destroy himself. But that’s exactly what’s happening. You say you won’t let me ruin him but what about yourself? Angel hates what he’s become and you’re just as responsible for letting it happen as he is.”
Stung, Lindsey stormed back into the room, “What do you know about it? You think I don’t see what’s happening? That I haven’t tried? But Angel was destroyed a long time ago, long before you came along. He isn’t going to change over night and I will not leave him to go through it alone. He and I are the only ones who understand.”
“What? You mean what happened to him and his mom after the trial?”
Lindsey whipped around to her, shocked, “How do you … he told you?”
“He started to tell me last night but then he just … stopped.”
Sinking onto the sofa, Lindsey looked at her curiously; shocked that Angel actually spoke to her about it. Speaking calmly, “What exactly did he tell you?” He wasn’t sure how much to divulge.
“Not much … just that after the trial he and his mother had to live with an animal, that this person pretty much made life really bad for them and that it destroyed her. He didn’t go into details.”
Taking a few moments considering what to say, Lindsey calmly walked around the room in very much the same way Angel often did when he was thinking. Buffy couldn’t help but notice the similarities.
Eventually he turned to her, “I will not share the uglier details with you, if Angel wants you to know then he’ll have to tell you. But I will tell you this much, Angel was seven years old when Ethan was sent to prison. For a while, his mother, Darla, tried to start a new life but between the authorities and Ethan’s enemies, she had no choice but to seek refuge with Ethan’s brother, my father. He was the animal to which Angel referred. And to use Angel’s words, for nearly eleven years he used her and tormented Angel shamelessly. Finally, with my mother’s help she and Angel were able to get away from that bastard. Some time after that Darla died in a car accident and Angel was alone. By then I didn’t see him very often, we were in separate colleges and my mother had also moved as far away from Holtz as she could get. I went with her of course but Angel and I stayed in touch although we didn’t really see each other much until after my father died. But after everything, Angel just wasn’t the same. Looking back, I think Darla’s death is what did him in. As long as she was alive he still had a trace of the Angel I knew before but when she died, it just broke something within him.”
Seeing Buffy’s grave expression, “I stay with him because I remember the ten year old boy who stood up to the bullies in the schoolyard when they taunted me. I remember the boy who had the biggest crush on Bo Derek and I remember the boy who cried himself to sleep every night asking for his father after my own father just … “ He stopped, a lump forming in his throat.
Walking to the door, he added, “I may not know how to help him but I will not abandon him.”
Buffy stood there silently for several long moments after he left. Somehow the image of a seven-year old Angel was stuck in her head and her heart ached for the loss of his innocence. This new insight conflicted with everything she thought she knew about him. Was this why he was so cruel? Was he the result of all those years of pain and abuse? Could what happened then explain everything that was happening now? Did it make a difference? She felt so confused and overwhelmed by her strong conflicting emotions. She wanted to lie down again but she felt too wired to sleep. Pulling herself together, she wiped the tears from her eyes and called down to the kitchen for some Advil and water. While she waited, she ran a hot bubble bath.
She needed to think.

Buffy soaked in the luxurious bath for nearly an hour. She hadn’t realized how tense she was until she sat in the steaming water. Leaning back, she basked in the thick bubbles, their soft fragrance permeating the room.
Glancing at the clock she saw that it was nearing dinnertime. Knowing that Angel would arrive soon she got out of the bath and slipped into her fluffy robe and slippers. It was time to get dressed.

Gunn walked through the winding pathways of the gardens surrounding the Summers’ estate. He was worried. It had been weeks since they had any promising leads and the more time that passed, the less likely they were to find Buffy. Even the forensics from Rayne’s ranch provided no immediate assistance. They were running out of time and given that Buffy was a senator’s daughter, everyone was feeling the pressure. His superiors were now taking a more active role in overseeing the investigation so needless to say, his life was a living hell. He was certain he was developing a stomach ulcer.
Entering the eerily quiet house, he passed the small study where Giles was interviewing Dawn yet again. This was their third attempt trying to glean any information the girl might have forgotten to mention. But they all knew it was hopeless, she’d given them all she had. But they had to persist, and thankfully, Dawn seemed to understand and patiently endured the tiring sessions. She wanted her sister back as much as everyone else. Not disturbing them, he continued into the library where Spike sat.
“How’d it go with Cordelia?”
“Fine, the press was there in droves but we got her home in one piece.”
“Home? You mean Sunnydale, right?”
“Oh yeah, she’s at her parents’ house, I think she mentioned something about selling her apartment.”
“Good, and Harris is all set?”
“Yeah, he’ll stay with her for about a week, just to be safe.”
“Good. How is she?”
“Well physically, she’s looking much better. Her bruises are healing well but of course she’s using a wheelchair until her leg is fully healed. Her doctors are very optimistic.”
“That’s good news … and otherwise?”
“Hmm … let’s just say she has a very long road ahead of her. But her family is there for her and her friend Faith was also at the house when we arrived. She’s in good hands.”
“How are her parents handling it?”
“Well, they’re angry, partly because Cordelia was involved with him against their wishes but mostly because we can’t seem to do anything to bring him to justice.”
“We’ll find them … it’s taking bloody longer than any of us imagined but we’ll find them, we’ll bring Buffy home.”
“Oh yes, and then the madness of the trial can begin.” Gunn slumped into his seat, exhausted just from thinking about it.
“Well mate, we’ll leave that to the lawyers.”
“Right … so what are you doing?”
“Going through some info Oz picked up for us but nothing’s screaming at me yet …”
“Hmm, want some help?”
“Sure.”
Spike then pulled out another thick folder of papers and handed them to Gunn. Sighing, he took the folder and dove in. It was going to be a long night.


Buffy sat across from Angel playing Risk. The irony was not lost on her. But unfortunately, she was losing. Not that she was bad at the game, in fact, she was pretty damn good but she kept losing her concentration. Her mind kept drifting back to her conversation with Lindsey and her game was reflecting it.
Thankfully, dinner had passed without incident and for about ten minutes they actually found something to talk about. Turns out they were both avid golfers and they discussed the pros and cons of using some of the newer, more advanced equipment. It was odd talking with him so casually. But eventually their discussion slowed so once they finished dining Angel took her out for her daily walk. When they returned to her room he pulled out the game. They’d been playing ever since.
“Buuuffyy?” Angel drew out her name, waving his hand in front of her.
“Huh?” She answered when he interrupted her musings.
“It’s your turn.”
“Oh … um.” She mumbled as she examined the board before her and tried to figure out what to do next.
“Is something wrong?”
“No … what would be wrong?”
“Hmm, you just seem distracted … like you’re not really here with me.”
“Nope, I’m here …”
Finally she made a move.
Mulling over her decision, Angel leaned back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. She was good, even when she wasn’t paying attention.
Then he looked up and met her intense gaze.
She’d been doing that all evening, watching him.
He was tempted to be facetious but something in the way she was looking at him kept him silent. He wasn’t sure what to think.
Then suddenly she seemed to realize that he’d caught her staring.
“Do you mind if we continue this tomorrow? It’s getting late and I’m a bit tired.”
“Certainly … we can just leave this here and tomorrow we’ll pick up with my move.”
“Sure.”

Awkwardly they both rose from their seats and stood before each other, unsure what to do next. Leaning forward, he caressed the side of her face and lifted her chin. Slowly moving in, he softly kissed her cheek.
“Good night.” And then he was gone.


It was a sunny California day and the city streets were bustling with activity. The holidays were fast approaching and everyone was frantically finishing their shopping. Stepping out onto the sidewalk was a young petite blonde woman. She looked around nervously, carefully watching the strangers around her as she made her way along the strip of stores. She could never be too careful. Blending with the crowd, she walked the few blocks to the garage where she was parked.
Taking the elevator to the fifth floor, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She sighed when her eyes automatically went to the faded scar marring her cheek. It wasn’t visible, having been covered with makeup but she knew it was there and could see it clearly. Since her hair had grown back it was the only outward reminder of the nightmare she’d endured years before. A nightmare she feared wasn’t over.
When the lift doors opened, she cautiously looked around again, taking in her surroundings and spotting her car. Looking over her shoulder had become a way of life for her. Usually she parked as close to the elevators or stairwell as she could get but with the holiday shopping crowds she was a bit further than she was used to. Taking a deep breath, she quickly moved towards her car, her keyless entry remote at the ready. Just then a car came speeding around the corner and she had to jump out of the way, her pulse racing. Frowning at the reckless driver, she quickened her steps just as a van pulled to a stop in front of her, blocking her car. Attempting to return to the elevator, she collided with a tall strange man, his eyes cold and empty. Backing away from him, she tried to scream when a hand covered her mouth from behind while he opened the rear door of the van. Within seconds, she was tossed inside, bound, gagged and blindfolded. Moments later, the van pulled off and drove out of the garage, her fallen keys and shopping bags the only sign of her abduction.
She had no idea how long they drove for but eventually the van came to an abrupt stop. She’d been crying nonstop since they grabbed her, immense fear taking hold. She didn’t want to believe this was happening. Hearing the rear door open, she felt someone climb in over her, gently caressing her. She shuddered at the touch. Then the gag was removed and she was being kissed as her clothes were ripped away. She cried out, begging the person to have mercy. The mouth kissed down her body while strong hands pried her thighs open. She cried out in horror when the mouth kissed her sex then devoured her. She denied the familiarity of the touch; she wouldn’t allow herself to accept what was happening.
“Please, whoever you are … please let me go.”
“Forgotten me so soon, Lover?”
“Angel?” She asked in horror, still denying what she knew.
“Yes Baby, I told you I’d find you, that I’d never let you go. Now I’m back to reclaim what is mine.”
Then suddenly his length invaded her. He ploughed into her mercilessly, driving her to the edge and just as she felt her climax erupting, his strong hand clamped down on her throat, squeezing hard. She tried screaming but it was futile, she couldn’t breathe. She was running out of air. Struggling against her bonds, she gasped for mercy as he laughed maniacally in her ear. Gradually, her limbs felt heavier and her struggles slowed. She felt herself slipping into a deeper darkness. She was passing out. No, she was dying.

Buffy woke with a start from her nightmare, her sheets tangled around her. Her face was clammy and her hair and clothes clung to her with sweat. Clutching her chest, she felt her racing heart and took deep breaths to calm herself. She was still alive. Looking around, she saw that she was still in the room she had shared with Angel. She was still in Jamaica. The dream felt so real. Kicking the sheets aside, she got up shakily and went into the bathroom. Splashing her face a little, she looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes immediately going to the thin scar on her cheek. The one Angel’s ring made when he beat her. She vividly recalled what he said to her then, that he would never let her go, Lindsey’s words also coming back to her. Closing her eyes, she began shaking violently, her eyes welling up with tears. Covering her mouth to muffle her cries, she sank to the floor, coming to a horrific realization. Simply running away wasn’t enough. And as terrified as she was of never escaping him, what frightened her even more was what Angel would do if she ever succeeded.


tbc ...