3 Inches

*
Chapter 19

A couple of days later, they help Tara move her stuff to another dorm. She shares her room with a shy girl who has more technical literature than cosmetica and Spike approves, after some not so subtle sniffing around. Amilia, so Tara says the shy girl is called, is totally freaked out by the gay Billy-Idol-Wannabe and flees as fast as she can.

Spike in the meantime has managed to move his few personal belongings into Xander’s apartment and come to an arrangement with Garld and Broum. Just a bit of neighbourhood patrol and shop/house protection, something Spike actually likes to do.

There hasn’t been anything happening between Spike and Xander since that incident on the workbench. Spike explained it away with Tara’s presence, but now she’s gone and Xander still hasn’t made a move or let Spike make one. Xander busies himself with all kinds of stuff and they’re practically never alone. He even manages to go to Buffy’s house and lets her stomp over him a few times for helping Spike regain his normal size. It has taken all of Spike’s self control (and rememberance of the chip) to not lash out at her. Xander stank of resigned disappointment all night. He didn’t let Spike make it better.

Tonight though, Spike will get more of his nummy treat. No excuses allowed.

The walk back from Tara’s new dorm room is silent. Both of them are strung tight with expectations and Xander clears his throat twice, but doesn’t manage to start a conversation. Spike’s terrible at waiting. He wants to just fuck the boy into the ground and ask consent later. All this emotional crap is pretty redundant when the facts are clear. Xander is his and Xander will want him just as much as he wants Xander. Spike has learned a few things about humans and he knows they tend to get rather loud when they’re disagreeing. He doesn’t want Xander afraid – he wants him insane with lust and precome-dripping-hard for him all the time.

Going up the stairs with Spike behind him feels like the last walk a man takes, the walk towards execution. Xander’s body hums with excitement and lust but he’s so damn scared at the same time that he’s shaking. Spike can’t and won’t ever be some kind of one-night-stand. Spike is an all consuming tasmanian devil that brings chaos to everything until you don’t know which way is up. Saying yes to Spike is saying yes to Spike for forever. He’s not sure he wants to be a vampire – ever – but maybe he’s thinking this through a bit too far already.

Xander sticks the key into the lock and opens the door, goes inside the apartment and towards the drawn curtains without switching on any light. It’s dark outside and he likes to see the stars and the moon just as much as he likes to feel the sun on his skin. Spike’s behind him, breathing on his neck, before Xander lets go of the thick velvet material. Xander shivers and stops breathing while his heart hammers out a staccato of longing. He stares at the moon while Spike continues just breathing on his skin.

Spike stands close enough to soak up Xander’s heat, but he doesn’t touch him at all. He listens to Xander’s pounding heart and the blood flowing fast through the boy’s veins. He inhales the boy’s scent deeply; fear and longing coated with desire. It takes every bit of will power from Spike to wait for Xander’s resolve.

Now or never, Xander thinks and he starts breathing again, pants actually, hitched and fast. “Come here.” He finally says, voice supernaturally low, and fumbles for Spike’s hand without looking.

Spike closes in, hands on Xander’s hipbones, his already hard shaft grinding into Xander’s backside. He’s not letting the boy go again, not after this. He’s said yes and Spike’ll make sure he won’t regret it. Spike breathes, his chest expanding against Xander’s back, matching the fast rhythm of the boy’s panting. Slowly, Spike dips his head to the side, kisses Xander’s neck and flicks his tongue out, tasting skin sweet like chocolate. Xander moans, a short helpless, lusty noise from the back of his throat.

After that, things get out of control and Xander is as frantic as Spike to get skin on skin. They pull off each other’s clothes and curse when buttons don’t open fast enough. Soon, they’re on the floor, the carpet is scratchy on Xander’s knees and elbows. Xander is hungry for Spike’s mouth and the vampire revels in the warmth spreading from the body above him. They’re naked and rubbing against each other, seeking friction and fulfilment and there’s this point, which Xander wants to get closer to, but doesn’t know how and his helplessness frustrates him, makes him bite hard at Spike’s lips and push down on Spike’s shoulders even more.

A warning growl from Spike and another, shortly before the vampire flips them so Xander’s back is on the carpet. Xander’s breath catches, his lust-darkened eyes fixing on golden ones above him, supernatural features highlighted by pale moonlight. “Take me, please. Take me.”, Xander whispers and Spike hears the desperation in it, hears the want to give up choices.
“You’re mine.” Spike states, this time it’s even more true than two days ago. “Mine forever.” He repeats and holds the boy with just enough force to make Xander feel safe, bound.

“I need you... I want to...” Xander doesn’t feel ashamed anymore, doesn’t feel wrong or gay. Everything is brand new and he doesn’t know how to voice what he wants, that’s all.

“Oh, we’ll get there. Don’t worry, pet.” Spike smiles, and nips at Xander’s collarbone with human teeth, making the boy shudder under him. His hand sneaks out and finds lube in his duster’s pocket. The click of the cap is unnaturally loud and there is fear ice-cold in Xander’s belly but Spike feels that, soothes him. “Going to make you feel good, pet. Don’t worry. Trust me.”

“I trust you.” Xander whispers and makes Spike look at him. “I trust you.” He says again because he needs to say that. Spike needs to know that. The smile Spike gives him is beautiful and the kiss that follows takes away every thought from his mind but more.

Xander wants more and Spike offers everything and they’re both taking all they can have.

Fingers find that place and beg to be let in and Xander’s moans and breathy whimpers ask them in. Two fingers soon become three and Xander hasn’t felt this vulnerable and protected at the same time ever before. He claws on Spike’s shoulders when the vampire finally settles between his spread thighs and guides himself inside.

For a second, it nearly hurts. It’s a slow burn that grows to unknown pleasure with each following stroke. Sometimes Spike hits him so deeply inside that Xander explodes in delight and groans frantically, wanting more of that exactly. He holds onto Spike and urges him on, with kisses and bites and scratches and heels digging in, Xander makes the vampire pump harder and stronger inside his body until they’re both losing control completely and unload their lust.

The moon creeps from its hiding place beneath some clouds and lights up the room, showing stunned awe on both their faces. It’s Xander who wraps his hand around Spike’s neck, plays with the hair there, then pulls Spike down and kisses him – slowly.
Spike pushes his tongue deeply inside Xander’s mouth, tastes true devotion and satisfaction for the first time in his whole existence and his non-beating heart feels warm.

They make it into the shower with each other’s help. Carpet burns are a bitch, even with vampire healing, and Spike kneels down to make Xander’s ass cheeks feel better. His cool hands are soothing even under the hot stream of water. Spike’s tongue is wicked and Xander shoots his load against the tiles after only a couple of minutes.

All the pulling on Spike’s hair has gotten all the gel-stuff out of it and when they’re lying side by side in bed, the TV’s light flickering bluely over them, Xander plays with the natural curls at the nape of Spike’s neck until the vampire falls asleep – or pretends to by stopping all movement and breathing. Not long after that, Xander’s eyelids can’t withstand gravity any longer and he barely wonders for a second why it doesn’t feel weird to fall asleep with an undead, manly body curled around him.

Waking up doesn’t feel weird either, does feel good actually and the smile Spike directs at him is genuine before it gets dirty. Xander has no time to get embarrassed because Spike engulfs his morning wood deeply in his mouth and makes him pant. Fingers come to make it feel even better and Xander spreads willingly for his lover’s hardness, welcoming him deeply inside him – body and heart. The kisses they share this morning are just like the thrusts – slow and intimate.

Xander gasps the moment Spike touches his hard shaft and comes when he feels Spike pulsating inside him. He shudders, taking in the golden eyes and the distorted face of the vampire that has imbedded himself inside him in nearly every possible way.

There is work to do and Xander leaves after a thousand goodbye kisses, fearing to lose this intimacy with Spike. He doesn’t need to worry. As soon as he’s back in the early afternoon - after enough teasing from Garld and Broum to last a lifetime about his smile – Spike drags him back into bed and continues where they stopped that morning.

***

Neither of them is surprised when the desperate call comes from Giles the next afternoon, asking them to bring Willow to a coven in England where she can learn control of her magic abilities. However, they are surprised over the fact that Willow asked for help. Looks like Tara had indeed been right with her decision to abandon Willow. Only this way has the redhead realised at the last moment, how important Tara is to her.