Losing It

Faith’s POV

I can’t fucking believe this.

I mean, I knew that I had been planning this day for like ever, but I never in my wildest of dreams EVER expected it to turn out like this.

I wanted this day to be about Buffy and how much I love her. I wanted to show her that there is nothing on this earth that means more to me than her and our love that we share. I even planned it out to that last moment on the beach. I mean, I didn’t know for sure that she was going to have sex with me, but I am sure as FUCK glad that I decided to add that last little romantic picnic. I’m not so sure she woulda been so willing if I had gone with my original plan and asked her to have sex with me behind the hotdog stand at the zoo.

I’m glad I trusted my instinct on that one.

And now look where it got me. I’m currently standing outside my bedroom door with the most beautiful creature on the planet in my arms waiting for me to take her inside and make wild, hot, passionate love to her.

It so fuckin’ rocks to be me right now.

I look down into her eyes and smile. This is the first time I’ve ever truly noticed just how deep a green they really are.

I could get lost in those eyes.

“Faith?”

But her hand on my cheek and the sound of her sweet voice pull me out of my daze. I shake my head to clear it and then reach forward. I push the door open and walk inside. I smile down at her as I slowly walk over to my bed and place her perfect body on the cool silk sheets.

I bring my lips down to hers as I slowly settle my body atop hers. She lets out a little moan and her thighs squeeze tighter around my hips, causing me to let out a moan of my own.

The girl’s got some power in them legs. I can’t wait to see how they feel against my bare skin as I’m thrusting deep inside of her…slowly bringing her to the edge…her bare skin against mine…her chest heaving with every deep breath…her light moans with every thrust…

“Fuck.”

I’m turning myself on with just the thought of what’s about to happen. I feel all the blood rush to my groin and I bury my head in her neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.

I turn my head and start to nip and lick lightly at the sensitive skin behind her ear. Then I start to trail a path of soft kisses around her neck and to her throat. I suck on her pulse point and her fingers tighten in my hair.

I raise my right hand from its place on her hip and I start to unbutton her shirt when I feel her hand on my wrist. I break away from my kisses on her sweet skin to look into her eyes. She gives me a soft smile and tenderly strokes her fingers through my hair as she pulls my hand from her shirt and places it on the bed next to her. She lets go of my wrist and brings her other hand to my face.

She pulls my head down and kisses me softly, letting out another light sigh as we break away.

Okay. She’s starting to wig me out.

“B? Baby? What is it? You don’t wanna anymore?”

She shakes her head and for a second I think that the only other action I’m gonna get tonight is in my dreams.

But then I feel her trail her right hand down my side, over my hip and toass.ass. She gives it a hearty squeeze and I feel my eyes instantly slide shut.

“Buffy…”

She leans up and silences me with another kiss. Only this time, it’s longer, deeper and way more passionate than the one before. When she pulls away, it takes a moment for my eyes to open again.

She leaves me breathless.

I look down into Buffy’s eyes and she gets this mischievous little grin on her face. I pull my head back slightly and gaze down at her with uncertainty.

“What’s going on in that brain of yours? Huh?”

She takes her hand off my ass and brings it up to play with the lapel of my shirt. She shakes her head with a light shrug and then I see her coyness turn to fear. I give her ttlettle nudge with my hips.

“Come on baby…you can tell me anything.”

Buffy lets out a deep breath and then looks up into my eyes. For a moment, her whole body is still and then I see her swallow hard as she struggles to find the words.

“Faith…I want to…I mean I need…I want us to…”

I give her the softest smile I can manage.

“Its okay B. Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything.”

She averts her eyes with a shy smile. So I nudge her again with my hips.

“Bufffyyy…” I tease with a coy smile of my own.

I dip my head to catch her eye. When she looks up at me I raise my eyebrow and smirk.

“I hope its something reeaaal-ly kinky…whatever it is.”

She smiles shyly and then shakes her head.

“Not…not really.”

Okay. I’m starting to get a little frustrated. I let out a sigh and lose the smile.

“Then what is it?”

Buffy looks at me from under her eyelashes and she darts her soft pink tongue out from her mouth to slowly her her perfect lips.

Uh…okay then. Damn. I didn’t know she could look so…sexy.

I watch her with anticipation as she lifts herself up to whisper into my ear. The feel of her hot breath against my skin and her lips against my ear send a shiver down my spine and straight to my groin.

I don’t think it’s humanly possible to be any more turned on than I am right now…

“Faith…I want to…to kiss you…down there.”

Fuuucckkk.

I nearly cream myself right there from that one.

I shut my eyes tightly and feel the muscles in my abdomen tighten with arousal. I can feel all my blood rushing south and my heart starts doing double time.

Buffy pulls away from my ear to look into my eyes. She softly strokes my cheek as she gazes into my soul.

“Is that okay Faith? Can I show you how much I love you? Will you let me make you feel as good as you made me feel?”

I don’t really know what to say, not that I can really speak at the moment. My throat is as dry as a keg at a frat party and as tight as…

Well, you get the picture.

“Faith? Baby? Say something…please.”

She’s looking up at me like she’s afraid I’m gonna laugh in her face…or worse.

But instead I just let out a deep breath and push myself off her. I push myself up from the bed and stand at the end with my back facing her. My palms are sweaty and my knees are weak. I can feel my throat constricting and the sound of my heart pounding in my ears.

Oh, shit. I’m actually scared. For the first time in my life, I’m fucking terrified…and I don’t know why. It’s not like she just asked me for a kidney or anything…she just wants to…to…

Fuck. I can’t even say it.

I close my eyes and let out another long, deep breath. I hear the sounds of the sheets rustling behind me and then the soft thud as her feet hit the floor. I can feel her presence right behind me, but I don’t move a fucking muscle.

What the hell is wrong with me?

She lays a tentative hand on my shoulder, like she’s afraid I might jerk away or something. When I don’t, she places her hand on my hip and then walks around to stand in front of me.

I can feel her eyes on me and I slowly force mine open to meet hers.

She’s terrified too. I can see it in her eyes and I can hear her heart nearly thumping out of her chest.

Well, she has a right to be scared, but why am I?

Then it suddenly dawns on me. This would be the first time that she is actually intimate with *me*, and that I would be the one on the receiving end. *I* would be the one feeling instead of giving…and it scares the Hell outta me.

To totally be at someone else’s mercy like that…for someone else to be completely in control…for Buffy to have complete control over what I think…what I feel…it just scares the shit outta me. I’ve always been in control, the one on the powerful end.

Can I really give her that kinda power over me?

Then she takes a tentative step closer to me and places both her hands on my hips. She looks up into my eyes and I gaze back deeply into hers…and I know that I can. The love and the passion I see behind her eyes tells me that I can give myself to her and that she’ll take care of me…because she loves me and nothing else matters.

I manage a shaky smile and then I nod my head.

“Okay, baby. Do it. I’m giving myself to you completely. I…I trust you…with all my heart.”

I reach up and place my hand on her cheek. I rub her skin tenderly with my thumb and gaze into her eyes.
lovelove you Buffy. Nothing else matters to me…nothing.”

She smiles at me and a single tear falls from her eye.

“I love you too Faith, and *I* trust *you* with all my heart.”

I lean down and we share another tender kiss…but it soon starts to deepen. Buffy lets out a little moan into my mouth and I bury my fingers into hai hair, pulling her lips roughly against mine. It’s insane how bad she makes me want her.

I let out a deep moan as I feel her push her tongue into my mouth and start stroking my own. Her hands start to trail down from my hips and she runs them over my thighs before raking her fingernails back up along the insides.

I have to break away from the kiss to catch my breath. She takes that as an opportunity to latch onto the side of my neck. She kisses and sucks on my flesh, sending my head spinning.

Where the hell did she learn to do that?

When I feel her tongue snaking in my ear, I suddenly don’t give a shit just as long as she keeps doing it.

I start to feel that same tugging sensation at my groin that I did on the beach. I barely manage to force my eyes open to look down. My breath starts to quicken when I see her hands working to undo my belt once again. Only this time, she’s a little distracted and she can’t quite get it open in this position.

She suddenly pulls away from her assault on my neck and the next thing I know she’s got her hands on my abdomen, shoving me against the nearest wall.

Hard.

I hit it with such force that a picture falls off the wall and lands on the carpet with a thud. She leans in and kisses me hotly. I slam my head back against the wall and let out a deep groan. Every nerve cell in my body is on fire. I can feel them tingling from my head to my toes.

Buffy breaks away from the kiss and stares me down. The feral look in her eyes chills me to the bone and her tongue darts out to wet her lips once again. The moonlight from the window catches her face just right and her eyes sparkle at me through the darkness. She looks almost…predatory. Like a wild animal stalking its prey.

Toom oom is only lit with the small lamp at my bedside, giving the moonlight against her face a luminescent glow. I can see her staring at me through the darkness, and it makes my heart pound, sending the blood rushing through my veins.

I’m about to open my mouth to tell her she doesn’t have to do this, but my words are cut short as I see her slowly drop to her knees. Just the thought of what is about to happen is almost enough to make me come right here, but I wouldn’t want to disappoint.

I turn my eyes downward and watch as she stares at my belt buckle like its foreign to her eyes. My slayer hearing picks up the distinct sound of her taking in a deep breath and then slowly letting it out again. Then I watch as her trembling hands slowly rise to my belt buckle and unfasten it. She pulls it away from my body and then her fingers begin to work on the button of my leathers followed by the zipper.

Once she has my pants open, she takes in another breath and then she brings her eyes back up to meet mine. I smile down at her softly and bring my hand to rest on the top of her head, silently giving her permission to continue. She smiles back at me and then her gaze drops to my waistband once again.

Buffy lifts her still trembling hands and slowly starts to peel the leather back from my heated skin.

“Baby…baby…wait.”

She looks up at me with that same look of fear in her eyes she had earlier. I just shake my head and smile.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just thought it might be easier if…maybe you should take off my boots first.”

I can see her process the information and then she lets out a relieved sigh. Her fingers go to work on the boot on my right foot and then my left. She pulls them from my feet and then my socks. She looks back up at me with more confidence than she has had all night.

“Good thinking baby.”

I smile down at her and then I let out a tiny breath.

“That’s what I’m here for,” I say to myself in a whisper.

For a moment I think she might have heard me cause she suddenly stops all movement and is just sitting there on her knees staring directly at my groin. So I place my hand on the side of her face to bring her eyes up to mine.

“Buffy?”

She looks up at me and I can see the terror in her eyes and the tears she is so desperately trying to hold back.

“Oh baby,” I say as I drop to my knees.

I pull her into my body and hold her tightly. I stroke her head tenderly trying to stop her tears.

“Baby, please don’t cry. You don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable. I’d never ask you to do something you don’t want to do. It’s okay. I understand.”

Buffy pulls her head away from my shoulder and smiles at me through her tears. She shakes her head slightly and reaches up to stroke my cheek. I smile back at her softly.

“No baby. It’s not even like that. I do want to. I want to so much…I’m not crying because I’m scared or because I don’t want to…I’m crying because I love you so much and I can’t believe you’re with me here…now…like this.”

I look at her with wide eyes and a disbelieving smile.

“Are you serious? You can’t believe…Buffy, I go to sleep every night praying that I don’t wake up to find this was all just a dream. You’re so…perfect. Sometimes I can’t believe you love me.”

We both share a smile and a little laugh.

I really am getting into this mushy shit…but I love every second of it.

I let out a deep breath.

“Okay then. Now that that’s outthe the way…”

I pull myself to my feet and I’m about to fasten my pants back up when Buffy’s hands suddenly come up to cover mine. I look down at her with a raised eyebrow and she just gives me that coy little smile.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Umm…okay.

“I was just…I just thought that…I figured you know that…I thought we would just go to sleep now?”

Buffy raises her eyebrow and slowly shakes her head, her smile firmly in place.

Ohhh…shit.

She reaches up and places her hands on my abdomen once again and gives me a shove, pushing me back against the wall once again. I swallow hard and drop my hands away. Buffy scoots a little closer on her knees and then her eyes drop to my waistband. She slides her fingers slowly down, dragging her nails across my skin sending my head spinning again.

Her fingers wrap around the top of my leathers and she starts to tug them down over my hips. I let out a little noise that I hope sounded like a moan as she peels them down my legs before pulling them from my body. Then she slowly starts dragging her fingernails back up the bare skin of my thighs and it feels ten times more intense than when she did it over my leathers.

The sensations she is causing inside me…I never knew I could feel.

My breathing increases and my eyes slide shut when I feel her fingertips workineir eir way beneath the edge of my underwear. She pulls them from my hips slowly and without even thinking, I lift my feet for her to pull them from my body.

She places her left hand against my right hip and then ceases all movement. I somehow manag for force my eyes open and I look down at her.

She’s right at eye level with my pussy and she’s looking straight ahead. I suddenly become very self-conscience and for a second, I start to believe that maybe she’s repulsed or disgusted or maybe she’s about to barf…or worse…maybe its just me.

Then she slowly pulls her eyes up to mine and she smiles.

“God Faith…it’s so beautiful…you’re so beautiful,” she says in a low whisper.

And then I watch as she slowly leans in and places a soft kiss on the very top of my mound. The moment her lips touch my skin, I’m sent spiraling out of my mind. You can only imagine what I feel when she slips her tongue between my lips to taste me for the first time.

I instantly feel a rush of wetness leave my center and flood into her mouth. I hear B let out a deep moan in her throat and then I feel her tongue on my clit, stroking it, massaging it tenderly.

I push myself back into the wall, laying all my weight against it. Buffy places her other hand on my other hip and really starts to lay into me. She runs her tongue over my clit, picking up speed with each stroke. I let out a low moan of my own and my hand comes down to gently run my fingers through her hair.

“God Baby…your tongue feels so…good.”

She moans into my pussy and her fingers tighten around my hips.

I suddenly have a strong need to feel her inside me, but before I can voice my need, Buffy slips her tongue from my clit and buries it deep inside me. My hips fly up from the wall for a moment and I let out a loud moan.

My hips fall back against the wall and I pull her head closer to my pussy. Her hands slide around from my hips and latch onto my ass. She squeezes in rhythm with her tongue inside of me and I feel the sensation starting to build in my belly.

I’m about ready to pop when she does something I didn’t think she knew how.

Buffy slips her right index finger between my ass cheeks to circle the tip of my hole.

I feel the orgasm explode inside of me. My legs start to shake and I clamp my thighs down around Buffy’s head. She holds onto my ass and lets me ride it out against her face, and as I slowly begin to fall back down from my high, I feel her place another light kiss against my pussy.

I collapse against the wall and slide down to rest on the carpet. I struggle to get my breathing under contwhenwhen I feel her move into my arms. I open my eyes and look over to see she is resting her chin on my shoulder just staring at me with those green eyes.

“Was that…good?”

I manage to smile through my heavy panting.

“I don’t think there’s a word for what that was.”

She smiles back at me, happy at my response. She places her right hand on my belly and slowtroktrokes her fingertips over my skin. She gives little kisses on my shoulder and neck as she waits for me to regain my composure.

“Where…where did you learn to do that?”

I hear her giggle.

“I have my ways.”

I turn my head to meet her eyes.

“Including that little thing at the end?”

I raise my eyebrow and I see a blush form over her cheeks.

“That was kinda a last minute decision.”

She aveher her eyes from mine and I let out a light chuckle. I kiss her forehead.

“Good decision. That was fuckin’ hot.”

She pulls her eyes up to meet mine.

“I thought you might…like that.”

I raise my eyebrow and pull my head back with a smirk.

“Oh really? And why is that you think?”

She starts to blush again.

“Well because…because I thought…I thought it would feel…nice.”

My smirk widens and she looks away averts her eyes from me. I reach out and place my handernder her chin, forcing her eyes back up to meet mine.

“It was better than nice. It was…Well, the only way to *really* know is to feel it yourself.”

She smiles at me and the blush returns to her cheeks yet again. I’m a little confused for a moment and then the meaning of my words suddenly dawn on me. My eyes widen and I let out a deep breath.

“Oh no Baby! I didn’t mean it like that! I was just thinking out loud. I didn’t mean that I would…or that you…”

I watch as the smile slowly fades from her face and she suddenly looks like she lost her puppy.

“Baby? What is it?”

She averts her eyes again and her fingers come to a stop against my abdomen. I miss the touch instantly.

I sit there staring at her a moment before it dawns on me why she had the sudden change in expression. It just sounded like I wouldn’t want to show her, but boy…she has *no* idea how much I really do.

I reach out and lift her chin, bringing her eyes to mine. I smile at her with my most gentle smile and her expression softens. I lean in bringing our lips a whisper away. I stare deeply into her eyes and in this moment, there is no one else alive but us.

“Let me show you,” I whisper to her softly.

And then claim her lips in a passionate kiss.

~~

Only two to go...^_^