Remember Me

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Joss owns it all damn him!

AN: Hi All!! Thanks for reading, and thanks for the reviews! A few
people have asked if any more characters from the Buffyverse will
appear in my fic, and the answer to that is yes (probably).

This is just a quick note to let you know that I appreciate all the
feedback and to thank you all for reading! This fic is far from over,
and if it plays out on paper the way it does in my head, I'd say we
may possibly be just above the halfway point.

PS - My fics The Winning Hand and Sunnydale Elementary are
both up for awards at Spuffy Awards, if you feel like it, please
feel free to vote for me...

http://www.flesh-for-fantasy.com/Spuffrds/rds/index2.php?x=vote.html

***

Chapter 18 - Coming Back to You

They entered the house with the key Spike kept in the hanging plant
on his back porch. They found him in the game room, sitting on the
love seat and staring into space.

"Okay, pack your stuff." Xander didn't bother saying hello.

"Huh?" Spike jumped in surprise. When he realized that the friends
he'd left in Hawaii with Buffy were now in the room with him he
became concerned immediately. "What's wrong? Is Buffy okay?"
Spike was up and grabbing a hold of Xander before he even knew
what he was doing.

"Lay off, man." Xander shrugged Spike off. "No, Buffy is not freakin'
okay. You left her. Alone." Xander emphasized the last word. "And
now we're all paying for it." He swept his arm toward their other two
friends.

"But she's okay? She's not hurt?" Spike insisted on an answer.

"Not in the physical sense, no." Wesley provided. "But she wasn't
looking too good when we left. Although that might have more to do
with the statement she has to give today."

"What statement?" Spike demanded.

"Spike, honey," Lorne moved closer, and threw his arm around
Spike's shoulder. He led Spike back to the loveseat and sat him
down. "Buffy just spent a horrific two days with some psycho. Those
federal boys want her to tell them everything that happened. I think
she was just a little nervous at the prospect."

"She could probably really use the support." Wesley encouraged.

"But she has the girls, right?" Spike wanted nothing more than to be
there for Buffy, but knew it would be a mistake.

"Yeah, the girls are with her, but Spike, man, she needs *you*."
Xander insisted. "How can you stand to be away from her after
almost having lost her for good?"

"Don't you see? That's exactly why I have to stay away from her!"
Spike's words were laced with anguish.

"And would you feel any better if something happened to her while
you were apart?" Lorne asked.

"No! Nothing's going to happen to her. That's why we have to *be*
apart." Spike insisted.

"Spike you can't predict the future. Buffy could have an accident
tomorrow. Or some psycho could see her walking down the street
and decide she's the flavor of the week whether you guys are
together or not." Lorne warned. "You're being without her can't stop
any of those things. In fact the only thing you're being apart can
prevent is your own happiness."

"I...I need to think." Spike stammered, wavering slightly.

"You can think on the plane. We've got reservations for the 6:15
flight." Xander informed him.

"No! I can't go back tonight."

"Spike, they have to get your statement as well." Wesley put in.

"Well, I can give a statement over the phone." Spike rebuffed.

"But you have to be there in person for the trial anyway. It's probably
going to be sn thn the next week or so. Salazar said something about
a cancellation on the court roster." Xander checked his watch, trying
to hurry Spike along. "Come on, you have to grab your bag. We
gotta jet."

"No." Spike was stubborn.

"Okay, Spike." Lorne caved in. "We'll call the girls and tell them
you're not going back with us." Both Xander and Wesley gave Lorne
unbelieving looks, but kept silent.

"Good." Spike was relieved to have gotten his way without too much
resistance. "Ask them how Buffy's holding up?" Spike checked his
watch. "She's probably still giving her statement." Spike's brow was
furrowed in worry.

Lorne whipped out his cell phone and hit speed dial. "Tara, honey,
how's tricks?" Lorne murmured a few sounds of agreement before
speaking again. "I was just calling to let you guys know - " Lorne
paused, his expression becoming alarmed causing all three men
watching to lean forward with questioning looks. "What?! How could
they let that happen?" Lorne listened for a few more minutes. "We'll
be on the next flight." And then in a quieter tone he added, "Don't
worry, baby, I love you."

"Let's head out," Lorne clicked his phone shut and jumped down from
the barstool he'd been sitting on. "The girls need us."

"What? Why? What's happened?" Spike was nearly a wreck. "Is
Buffy okay?"

"She's fine." Lorne answered calmly but refused to meet Spike's
eyes.

"What aren't you telling me?" Spike demanded.

Lorne sighed. "I guess you'd find soo sooner or later." He shrugged.
"Angel's out on bail." He watched as Spike's jaw clenched.
"Apparently he might've made some threatening statements towards
both Buffy and Harmony. Both of them are pretty upset, and so are
Tara, Willow, and Cordy."

"What kind of threats? Are they under police protection?" Spike,
Xander, and Wesley all spoke at once.

"The fibbies offered to put them in hiding, under protective custody,
but Buffy refused."

"What? Why?" Spike demanded. "Why would she refuse?"

"I'm not sure. I couldn't really get a lot out of Tara it sounded like
she'd been crying. I'm pretty sure she said there were police
stationed at the hotel, but Buffy didn't want to be moved. Didn't want
to hide. Something about not wanting to live her life running away?"
Lorne related what little information he had.

"Bloody stubborn bint!" Spike yelled. "Let me grab my b" H" He was
already running towards the stairs that would lead to his bedroom.

"Maybe we should call Salazar and Benson to make sure they've got
everything covered until we can get back." Xander suggested, worry
for Cordy and the girls running through him.

"No need." Lorne said turning back to them with a smile.

"I thought you said you didn't know much? How do you know if
they've got sufficient coverage at the hotel?" Wesley asked.

"I don't. The one thing I do know is that Spike is going to be pretty
pissed when he finds out that the only information I got during that
phone call was the current 78 degree temperature of downtown
Sunnydale." Lorne smirked at them. "But we'll be at least 50,000 feet
in the air before that happens."

***

Buffy was completely miserable. Spike hadn't called. And now that
the end of the day was looming she'd gone from being angry to
depressed. Cordy had insisted that the boys wouldn't let her down.
But what could they do, really? If Spike didn't want to be here, if he
didn't love her enough to take the necessary risks, how could they
force him to?

On top of all that she was emotionally drained from her five hour
session at the Kauai branch of the FBI. The girls had gone with her
and had been extremely supportive, but her worry and anger over
Spike plus the odd mixture of emotions she felt at retelling her ordeal mbinmbined to completely flatten her.

She sighed, wiping at the stray tears on her cheeks. Buffy was sitting
out on the patio of their room, watching the waves crash on to shore.
The sun had set long ago and the breeze that played with the loose
strands of her hair blew coolly over her skin. God, she was tired of
crying.

Buffy was so lost in thought she didn't even hear the suite door open,
or see the man that entered.

***

When Spike had found out about Lorne's ruse, he'd been both angry
and relieved. He was happy to know that Angel was still locked up
and that his Buffy was safe, but angry to realize that he'd been tricked
into going back to Kauai. He wasn't sure how he felt about seeing
Buffy again. He'd been agitated since the moment he'd left her,
worried about her safety, but also concerned about her reaction to the
revelations he'd lain bare in the note he'd left behind.

Would she hate him for lying to her? Would she really want to see
him again now that she knew he was in love with her? These
questions replayed themselves over and over in his head as the
plane flew them that much closer to the answers.

Spike berated himself for having left her, wondering how she had
coped with the statement she gave this morning. Wondering how she
had been coping with the aftereffects of being kidnapped and
imprisoned by a madman. Spike's hands clenched into fistshe he
thought about the man that had taken his Buffy, the man that had
used her to try to hurt him.

Spike would have gladly killed him the other night, probably would
have done without thought to himself if Xander hadn't stopped him.
All he could see while he was beating Angel into the ground was
Buffy's face, scared and upset. He couldn't even stomach the thought
that Angel might have touched her, might have hurt her in anyway.
He remembered exactly the feelings that swamped him when Buffy
had told him that he'd only hurt her a little, only left a few bruises. He
remembered kissing at the ring of bruised skin around her wrists as
she slept.

Spike's gut clenched and his heart twisted. He needed to see her
again, to know that she was all right. Lorne's ploy had been nothing
but that, a trick to get him on the plane. But it served aond ond
purpose as well. It had reinforced Lorne's earlier words. Would
Spike feel any better if Buffy were somehow hurt while they were
apart? He knew the answer without having to even think about the
question.

Quietly Spike slipped into their room, letting his eyes adjust to the
gloom until he could see the faint outline of Buffy's body on the
lounge chair beyond the sliding glass doors. He moved across the
carpet, coming to stand justide ide the archway of the patio doors.
"Buffy," he called softly and then swore when she jumped a mile,
eyes wide with fright. "Sorry, luv."

"Will?" She whispered his name as she realized who it was standing
before her. For a brief moment Buffy was overcome with relief, love,
and longing at the sight of him. But she soon became wary, not
knowing why he was here or what he was feeling. "What are you
doing here?" Buffy voiced the first question that came to mind. She
honestly hadn't thought she'd see him again so soon, if ever at all.

Spike let his gaze wander over Buffy. Letting him see for himself that
she was healthy and hale. She was wearing the oversized t-shirt she
normally wore to sleep, with a pair of spandex shorts. He knew from
experience that the shorts would come off before she climbed into
bed, and the thought was already making him half hard. He shook
his head to rid himself of those inappropriate thoughts and
concentrated on the question she had asked him.

"I came back..." Spike hated the cautious and slightly disbelieving
look Buffy was giving him. He decided to go with the unabashed
truth. "I came back for you."

Buffy's look turned into one of disdain. "Just like you left for me?"
She asked, not bothering to hide the hostility or hurt she felt.

"I..." Well, what could he say to that? "I'm sorry."

Buffy stared at him for a moment before looking away. "Do you
honestly think that after all these years together, now suddenly, I've
become a target? We've only been in each other's back pockets for
the past ten years. If any of your enemies didn't already know how
much we meant to each other, whether we're lovers or not, they're too
stupid to worry about."

Now that she put it like that, Spike felt ridiculous. It was true that
anyone telytely interested in him would know how strong his
feelings for Buffy went. For God's sake, every article ever written
about him had included at least a small snippet from her as well
including that damned Sunnydale's Most Eligible Bachelors feature.
Why had he thought that loving her would put her in any more danger
than she already was?

"You know what I think?" Buffy continued, oblivious to the thoughts
running through Spike's head. "I think you left, no, *ran away*
because you were afraid. Not for me, but for yourself." Buffy
advanced on him now, poking painfully at his chest with her index
finger. "You were afraid to face me, to have to tell me the truth. The
truth about our engagement, the truth about your feelings for me."
Buffy's face was red and angry once more. Abruptly she turned on
her heel and strode back out toward the balcony railing, silently
seething.

Spike stood stunned. Was that what he had done? Had he run away
because he was afraid to face her? Afraid to tell her the truth? Afraid
to *know* the truth?

"You left one thing out, luv." Spike moved closer, only inches away
from her now. But he refrained from touching, waiting for her reaction
to his next statement. "I was afraid to find out the truth. The truth
about your feelings for *me*." He waited as she turned around to
meet his gaze. "You're right. I was afraid, though I didn't know it at
the time. I was afraid you'd hate me for lying to you all week. Or
worse yet, afraid that all you'd feel was sorry for me once you found
out that I was in love with you and always had been." Spike cursed
himself as he felt his eyes fill with water. "I couldn't bare to see the
pity in your eyes, luv."

"Oh, Will." Buffy shook her head. "If you'd only waited and let me
explain."

"Explain what, Buffy?"

"I got my memory back, Will. While I was still," Buffy swallowed past
the lump in her throat. "While I was still with Angel. I tried to tell you,
before we made love last night. I told you how much I loved you."

"You mean?" Spike's heart was doing flips in his chest. "You mean
you knew, before we made love, that our engagement had been a
lie? And when you said you loved me, you meant you *loved* me?"

Buffy nodded, unable to form any more words. And then Will was
kissing her. hea heard the low groan rumble through him as their lips
met. Buffy let out her own small groan of satisfactwhenwhen she felt
the tentative lick of his tongue against her bottom lip. She opened for
him, allowing him entry into her mouth to deepen the kiss.

Spike was in heaven. Buffy loved him! Unable to wait any longer he
scooped her up in his arms and carried her back into the suite.
Gently he laid her on their bed and stood back to admire her. Buffy's
hair was sexily rumpled and her mouth was swollen from their kiss.
As he watched the small pink tip of her tongue peeked out to wet her
lips. Spike moaned feeling his groin tighten at the sight.

He fell on to the foot of the bed on his knees, staring hungrily up at
her. Slowly he crawled up her body, rubbing as much of himself
against every inch of her along the way. Buffy wanted to scream as
she felt the normally soft cotton of her shirt rub roughly against her
tightened nipples. When Spike was finally covering her fully with his
own body, he leant down to kiss her once more. As Buffy lost herself
in the kiss she failed to notice Spike flipping them over so that he was
now on bottom, her legs straddling his hips.

Buffy shivered as she felt the cool night air touch her overheated skin.
Her eyes opened slowly at the realization that she was now nearly
naked. Her shorts had long since disappeared as had her nightshirt.
Already prepared for bed, she hadn't been wearing a bra. So now
she lay on top of Spike clad only in a white lace thong. Buffy thrust
downward feeling the hard length of his arousal through his tight
denim jeans. They both groaned as Buffy fumbled with the button
and zipper, struggling to pull the thick barrier away.

As Buffy moved off his body to tug at his jeans, Spike sat up and
pulled his t-shirt over his head. Now they were both dressed in only
their underwear, only moments away from making love together for
the second time. Buffy stepped off the bed, waiting until she caught
Will's eyes before slowly bending forward and slipping off her thong.
Spike's heart was pounding as he watched Buffy slowly strip the last
bit of lace off her tantalizing body.

He couldn't believe that he was actually here. After all they'd been
through and meant to each other, they were finally together. After
admitting to each other their true feelings, they were about to make
love without any secrets or fears hanging over them. Quickly he
released his erection from the confines of his underwear kicking off
his boxers while he waited for Buffy to reclaim her position above him.

Buffy straddled his hips again, his arousal nudging at her entrance.
But instead of taking him inside of her, she leaned forward and began
nibbling on his neck. Moving down his body she teased his nipples
until they were hard and aching, before continuing downward.
Spike's hands shot out to try to guide her movements, but she fended
them off, wanting to be the one in control.

When he felt that hot pink tongue tasting him he nearly fainted. She
took in his arousal and it was all he could do not to thrust roughly into
her warm wet mouth. "Buffy, luv, stop!" He cried out when the
sensations became too much.

She pulled off him quickly, a worried look on her face. "Did you not
like that?"

Was she blind? "No, luv! Of course I liked it. God, I liked it a little
*too* much."

Buffy blushed and Spike marveled at her ability to do so after what
she'd just done to him. "Ah, Buffy. I love you." The words slipped
out without conscious thought.

"I love you, too." She whispered the words back to him.

"C'mere," he growled at her, his arms open.

She slid into his embrace and squealed when he flipped them over
once more. Spike reached into the bedside drawer praying that the
stash of condoms Cordy had given Buffy were still there. He nearly
let out a triumphant shout when his hand encountered a small plastic
square. He pulled it out quickly and covered himself, leaning forward
to kiss Buffy once more before positioning himself above her.

Slowly he entered her, waiting as each breathy moan escaped her
lips. Finally encased within her, he began a lazy thrusting as he
nibbled on her neck. God, had he ever felt anything more delicious,
more right? Sooner than he'd like his rhythm began to quicken, as
did his pulse. He could feel himself nearing completion and wanted
desperately for Buffy to go over the edge with him.

"Buffy, luv," he whispered in her ear just before taking the lob in his
teeth and biting gently. A satisfied thrill shot through him at her deep
moan of approval. "I'm so close."

"Yes, Will." Buffy answered, her hips thrusting upward to meet his.
"Just a little more."

Buffy arched her back nearly off the bed as Spike bent even further to
take the taut peak of her breast into his mouth. At the same time his
hand snaked between her legs to massage her there. The twin
sensations sent her rocketing over the edge and she screamed out
his name, "Will!"

The sound of his name leaving her lips pushed Spike toward his own
climax. He thrust once, twice, three times more before his orgasm
ripped through and and he emptied himself into the tight latex
covering he wore. They lay in the afterglow for just a few minutes
before Spike rolled off her and cleaned himself up. He came back
with a warm wet washcloth to wipe Buffy down and then gently kissed
her on the tip of her nose before returning to the bathroom to dispose
of the dirty towel.

Climbing back into bed, he was immediately warmed by Buffy's body
snuggling into his embrace. They kissed lazily, until Spike finally
pulled away. "You need to get some rest, luv. The last few days
have been exhausting and we'll have to go back to the FBI office
tomorrow so that I can give my statement." Spike hated to bring up
anything to do wihe lhe last few horrific days without her, but he knew
they needed rest.

Buffy looked as if she wanted to say something, but she only bit down
on her bottom lip instead.

"What is it, luv?"

"Will you still be here when I wake up in the morning?" She asked,
looking away from him, the hurt still evident in her voice.

Spikebreabreath hitched in his throat. "I'm so sorry for hurting you,
Buffy." He kissed her again, rubbing his hand up and down her arm
in comfort. "I'll be here in the morning. And every morning after if
you'll let me?" He made the last statement a question.

"What are you saying, Will?"

"I'm saying that I want you for forever." Spike stated calmly. "I know
this is bloody horrible timing, luv, but...I want our engagement to be
real." He fingered the ring she wore on her left hand. "Will you marry
me?"

"Oh, Will!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him
soundly. "Yes!"