Solace

Willow quickly cooked up a meal for her and Spike while Spike was in the bath. She could hear him talking upstairs and had a momentary pang of guilt. She had taken advantage of him while he was ill and that thought made her shiver. He was doing well when he woke up this morning/evening so maybe she could force herself to believe that she hadn’t really taken advantage of him. But if she had taken advantage of him, how was she supposed to act when he came back down? Was she supposed to act like what they did hadn’t happened or was she supposed to kiss him or maybe she was supposed to apologize for this morning.

She drained the pasta over the sink and watched as the starchy water swirled down the drain. She placed the pasta back in the pot. The sauce was almost ready and the parmesan bread was giving off a wonderful aroma from the oven. She had avoided the garlic that she normally put in the sauce and on the bread so Spike could enjoy some if he wanted. She dumped the sauce over the pasta then mixed it in. She sprinkled the top with cheese before she spooned some out on the waiting plates.

Willow jumped when the cool strong arms encircled her waist. Spikes deep chuckle relaxed her and she leaned back into him. He moved her hair off of her neck and peppered kisses along the curve.

“There’s that internal babble again, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Her face flushed with embarrassment.

“What about?” His hands ran small circles on her waist and stomach. Spike kissed her neck and nipped her skin with his blunt teeth. He scented the air and chuckled, “no garlic?”

“I didn’t think you could eat garlic.” Willow pouted as sprinkled a little more parmesan over the pasta.

Spike’s hand slid down her arm holding the cheese and pulled it from her hands. He set it on the counter. “I can eat garlic, I actually really enjoy the taste. Just about as much as I like tasting you. The bread is going to burn baby.” Spike released her and pulled open the oven. He reached in and grabbed the tray without any gloves. He pulled some of the hot bread off, placing them neatly on the plates.

Willow grabbed his hand with a squeak. She turned it over looking for burns. He chuckled deep in his chest. He grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it before grabbing two wine glasses. He filled one up with blood and the other with wine he found chilling in the refrigerator. He set the glasses down at the table as Willow brought over the meal. Spike lit the decorative candles sitting in the center of the table. He reached behind him and turned off the overhead light.

Willow’s cheeks were kissed with red. She had never had a real candle lit dinner before. She felt kind of odd having one with Spike, the not so evil anymore undead guy, but hey an hour ago she was in the throes of passion with him. That thought made her blush even more. She watched him from the other side of the table. His fingers were so nimble, his movements graceful, he made eating spaghetti look like an art form. When he wanted to he could be the very Victorian gentleman of old. She briefly wondered how much of his current bad boy attitude was an act.

Spike cocked an eyebrow at her but kept eating. He was feeling a little better than he had the day before. The voices, although still very present in his mind, were starting to quiet down. He still felt the all consuming guilt but kept telling himself that there was no way to take back what he had done. Willow was something else to him all together. Even the slightest thought of her made him shiver. She knew what he had done in the past and still she listened to him, cared for him, made sure he had what he needed to survive. He mentally made a vow with himself while he was in the bath earlier that as long as he had Willow to support him, he would strive to be the kind of man a woman like her deserved. Hell he would even open doors if that’s what he thought she would want.

They ate in silence, enjoying the easy company of one and other. Before the end of the meal Spike reached his hand across the table and took her smaller one in his. The warmth of her hand slowly warmed him. His blue eyes burned with unspoken emotion.

“Willow I need you to know something.” Spike took a deep unneed breath before he continued. “Today was… well…Bloody hell Willow.” Spike struggled for the first time in his life he was without words. He closed his eyes before he started again, letting the words pour from his mouth without restraint. “Lost and confused, in pain and struggling, losing my mind, guilty conscience smotherin’, drowning in the past, bleeding on the inside, trying to follow the rules real men must abide by, broken and dirty, worthless and mean, these are all things that could classify me. Darkness receding kissed by your light, was a lost soul just wondering no end in sight. You freed me, saved me, brought me back to life, healed all my pain and took away my strife.” Spike opened his eyes and looked at her.

Willow had tears streaming down her face. A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Passion and relief shone brightly in her green eyes as she looked at him. He looked like he was going to keep going but she quickly got up and walked around the table. She pressed her lips to his.

He turned his body a little giving her room to sit down on his lap. Her fingers buried themselves deep into his curly hair. He let his hand wrap around her waist. She pulled back and pressed her forehead to his.

“You really are an awful poet you know that.” She smiled, “but that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard.” She ran her fingers through his hair, loving the way it felt without the gel. “Are you feeling up to a Scooby meeting?” She could feel him nod before he placed a small kiss on her lips. “Ok then after we can go get the rest of your stuff.” She giggle when he kissed her again.

“Gonna figure what to do with the Whelp then?”

“Yeah, Giles needs to know. If you feel like you need to leave at any point we can. You just have to tell me. We could have a signal or something if you don’t want to say you are feeling ill. I mean I know you have a reputation to uphold and all and if you want you can whistle or cluck or something.” Willow leaned back and looked at Spike she continued to babble. “Whatever you want, we can leave as soon as we get there if that is what you need. I can do whatever you know...”

Spike crashed his lips to hers effectively silencing her babble. When he finally pulled away she was gasping for breath. He smirked, “Right then, let’s get moving before I change my mind and take you back upstairs.”

Willow giggled but slid off his lap and gathered the dirty dishes. Spike slipped his arms around her waist, “leave em’ I’ll get them when we get back.” He kissed her neck again. He smiled when he felt her lean back against him.

“I think I’m gonna like the soul having you.”

“Yeah? Bet I still leave wet towels on the floor.”