BAD ANGEL

A/N: I was hoping to get this out for Christmas or New Years but alas, that didn't happen. I hope you all enjoy this installment and although it's a tad late, Happy Holidays!

Part 17


Back at the house, Angel paced the length of the guestroom, his mind racing over what to do next. He was incredibly frustrated with Buffy. Why did she insist on trying his patience? Recalling the rules he had set just days before, he was now in an impossible position. Given his feelings for her he was loath to enforce them, let alone go through with his threatened punishments. But she was forcing his hand and he couldn’t ignore her behavior any longer. She attacked him and endangered his staff. He had to deal with her.
In truth, he did expect her to at least try to escape but he never expected to be quite so shaken by it. And the fire? What if someone had gotten hurt? What if she had gotten hurt? His mind was plagued by the desperation and pain he saw in her eyes. He knew she was angry and hurt but she didn’t seem particularly upset the evening before. Why was she suddenly so devastated? Racking his brain, he regretted leaving her alone. He should have been there for whatever she was going through. Cursing his selfishness, he wished he hadn’t declared his feelings for her so soon. Clearly she was deeply disturbed by it, so much so that she was nearly suicidal. He should have thought better of it. But now it was too late. Now he needed to decide what to do.


Buffy sat on the bed clutching a pillow and staring absently at the wall as she waited for whatever punishment Angel was going to give her. Once she was caught she knew that all bets were off. She’d broken at least two of Angel’s rules and if his thundering silence on the way back in the car was any indication, he was going to make sure she felt it.

Lindsey sat on the armchair across from her. He was charged with keeping an eye on her until Angel was ready. He couldn’t believe what she tried to do. And after his warning! Was he speaking Greek?
Glancing at him, Buffy wiped her tear-streaked cheeks, “What do you think he’s going to do?”
“Pardon?”
“Angel … how bad do you think it’ll be?”
“I don’t know Buffy. He’s very angry right now.”
“I know. Are you angry with me too?”
“Now why would you think that?”
“The way you’re looking at me for starters.”
“And how am I looking at you?”
”Like you’re ready to strangle me.”
”Well Buffy, I am. What the hell were you thinking?”
“That I could get away.” At his look she continued, “I saw the gate open and I thought …”
“Ah, you saw the gate open … well the funny thing about that gate is if you don’t have a magnetic bracelet to allow you free passage then you have ten seconds to enter the security code.” After a moment, “I don’t suppose you had a bracelet …” When she lowered her eyes he added, “And I doubt you know the code.”
When a lone tear fell from her eye he looked away, “I warned you. I said to never underestimate him. Did you even hear a word I said? Between you and Cordelia, I don’t know why I even bother.”
“You could have told me about the gate.”
“For what? So you could figure a way around it. No, I won’t do that. I’m not here to help you escape. And so you know, you did yourself no favor just now since the staff will certainly guard their passes with their lives from now on.”
“Well what did you expect me to do? Just sit here waiting for Angel to rape me again?”
“I expected you to read between the lines and use that pretty little head of yours. Do you think that gate is the only measure Angel has taken to ensure you never escape? And even if you could, do you really think he won’t come after you again? The way may look wide open but I promise you it’s all an illusion; this is a gilded cage. Perhaps now when I say never underestimate him you’ll actually listen.”
“I did listen … and I was going to … I was taking your advice … but then …” she trailed off, reluctant to reveal what she knew.
“But then what?”
“Nothing.”
”No, it’s not nothing. Obviously it was worth all the trouble you’re now in so tell me, what?”
“I was taking your advice and I was trying but then …” Then looking away, “I know about the tapes of he and I, together.”
Struck, Lindsey sat up in his chair, “How? I-I mean, where did you? …”
“On the news. I watched the news last night and I saw them talking about me like I was some cheap whore. I gave him everything he wanted and he turned around and … I don’t even know why I’m so shocked, I should have known he would do something like that … it’s just …” Then after a moment she whispered, “How could he do that to me?”
Speechless, Lindsey lowered his eyes. He had no idea what to say. But he knew he had to talk with Angel.
When he stood to leave she asked, “Are you going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“About my note yesterday, the note you found.”
Taking a deep breath, “I don’t know. Perhaps if I had he wouldn’t be taking your latest stunt so badly.” At her grave expression he conceded, “But I don’t think I will, right now you’re in enough trouble as it is.”
When he saw the relief cross her face he hastened to add. “Don’t think you’re off the hook about that just because he doesn’t know. I know what you did and I will be watching you very closely.”
As he left the room he added, “I’ll be back with an ice pack for your wrist.”


Angel was still pacing when he heard a soft knock on his door. Annoyed by the intrusion, he pulled it open.
“Lindsey, I really would like to be alone right now.”
“I know Angel but there’s something you need to know. It’s about Buffy.”
Opening the door further to allow his cousin in, “What about her?”
“She knows about the tape you sent to The Star.”
“WHAT?”
“She watched the news last night.”
As realization dawned, Angel closed his eyes in frustration, his fists clenching. That explained the desperate fury in her eyes. How could he have been so blind! Of course she found out about the tapes. But knowing what happened didn’t make his situation easier. If anything, it complicated matters even more.
He’d done such a thorough job of disgracing Hank that he ruined all hope he had at winning Buffy’s heart. As the tension and frustration mounted within him, he felt himself ready to explode. He was nearly at the end of his tether. And in a moment of sheer release he lifted the small coffee table and threw it across the room, “FUCK!” He bellowed.
“Angel, don’t blame her, we should have expected her to do that.”
“I’m not blaming her and I’m not surprised that she watched the news, I’m surprised that I forgot to block those channels out when I moved out of the room. But of course, I had expected to be with her to prevent this from happening.”
“But surely you didn’t think you could hide it from her forever?”
“No, I was going to tell her once things were better between us and I could explain …”
“Explain? Good luck with that.” At Angel’s glare he added, “Look, what’s done is done. My point is I think that’s what drove her to …”
“Set my house on fire and try to gut me like a fish.” Angel gestured with his hand as he finished for him.
That’s when Lindsey saw his still bleeding hand.
“My God, you said she didn’t cut you.”
”She didn’t. That’s a bite.”
“She bit you?” Lindsey asked disbelievingly. At Angel’s shrug he rolled his eyes.
Instructing him to sit, Lindsey then went into the bathroom to fetch a few supplies from the medicine cabinet. As he cleaned and bandaged the wound he asked, “So how exactly did this happen?”
“She was screaming and I covered her mouth. I should have seen it coming.”
“That’s not all you should have seen coming.” Lindsey added dryly.
At Angel’s look he amended, “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. It’s just, after everything that’s happened, I’m not sure she’s worth all this trouble.”
Considering his words, Angel replied, “I know you have your doubts but I am certain about her. She’s more than worth it. She’s everything.”


About twenty minutes later Lindsey again sat across from Buffy as he watched her hold the ice pack to her wrist. As he waited, he recalled Angel’s words in the guestroom. He hoped Angel remembered them when he decided what to do with her.
Once she was done, he proceeded to wrap her wrist when he heard the door open. Pausing, he looked up to see Angel standing in the doorway.
“Thank you Lindsey, I’ll take it from here.”
Lindsey and Buffy exchanged grave glances before he stood and walked over to Angel. Pausing momentarily he whispered, “I’ll be just down the hall if you need me.”
When Angel nodded, he left.
Angel waited until the door closed behind him before walking over to Buffy. Silently, he sat next to her and finished the job of wrapping her wrist. As he worked, Buffy tried to read what she was seeing in his eyes but he purposely avoided meeting hers.
When he was done, he gently lifted her wrist and kissed the inside along her vein. Then standing, “I won’t even pretend that I’m going to punish you the way I threatened. You should know by now that I won’t.” Then looking directly at her, “From the beginning I’ve gone about this the wrong way and you’ve only gotten hurt as a result. So from right now things have to change. But I’m not yet sure what that means or what I’m going to do with you. Until I work that out however, I cannot have you endangering my staff or attacking my men. So until further notice you will be confined to this room. There will be no more shopping sprees, tours or anything. You will continue to have all your meals here and you will only be allowed to leave if escorted by Lindsey or myself. I will not lock you in but Luke or Adam will be posted outside this door day and night to ensure you comply. I will have the staff remove my personal items as well as any items you can hurt yourself with.” He then briefly strolled around the room before continuing, “About the tapes.” He then turned to her again, “I have no excuse for that. I wanted to hurt your father the worst possible way I could and I gave no thought to what that might do to you. I released two tapes. I sent one of our first meeting to your father. The other, of the second time we were intimate, I sent with a letter to the Star. However all of our encounters were recorded, I assume those tapes have been confiscated by the FBI.” Then moving closer to her, “I won’t insult you by even trying to apologize for publicly disgracing you. But I do apologize for the way you found out, I should have told you.”
Stopping a few feet from her, he waited for her response.
Buffy sat there quietly taking it all in, her mind reeling.
She had too many conflicting emotions that she felt her head was about to explode. She was furious at him yet she was relieved that he seemed to be overlooking her recent actions. But she kept coming back to the tapes as she recalled what happened during their first meeting and the night he tortured her with the vibrator. Knowing that people watched the tapes and saw what Angel did with her, knowing that her father saw it too made her cringe inwardly. Would she ever be able to pick up the pieces of her shattered life?
Slowly looking up at him she gradually became aware that he had stopped speaking, his expression a mixture of concern, regret and hope. Obviously he was waiting for her to react. That he dared hope sent her anger rising.
Standing, she calmly approached.
Briefly, she stood before him then suddenly her hand whipped out, slapping him hard across the face.
“I hate you.” She spat the words at him with every bit of contempt in her being. In that moment, she no longer cared what he might do to her.
Lowering his head, he accepted her contempt. He deserved nothing more.
When she showed no sign of retreating he asked, “When would you like the servants to remove my belongings?”
“The sooner the better.”
Nodding, he moved to the door and instructed some of the waiting servants to remove his personal items. He instructed the others which items to remove from the bedroom and bathroom for Buffy’s safety.
Once Buffy and Angel were alone again, he said, “You’re now in charge of your meals, when you’re ready feel free to call down to the kitchen.”
And with that, he left.

For several long moments Buffy sat quietly, unsure of what to do next. To be honest, she was a little taken aback by her boldness. She had no idea where she got the courage to slap him but it felt good. In fact, her entire escape made her feel wonderfully elated, her capture and fear of punishment notwithstanding. The entire experience made her feel alive again. But clearly it didn’t improve her situation. And although she was grateful that Angel had now completely moved out she was sobered by the fact that she was now restricted to the room, which made any future escape attempts all but impossible.
Looking around the room, she wondered how long Angel was going to keep her in there. Despite the generous size of the suite, she knew eventually the walls would feel like they were closing in on her. But she wasn’t worried, that wouldn’t be for some time to come. And besides, she could go on the balcony for air.
Speaking of, she moved to the French doors and stepped onto the sunbathed balcony. Closing her eyes, she relished the warmth on her skin. After everything that happened in the past 24 hours, she needed to relax and clear her mind. Glancing down to the terrace below, she quickly concluded that scaling the wall was out of the question. No, when she got out of that room it would only be with Angel’s permission.
Sighing, she looked out at the expanse of lush gardens stretching out before her.
Until then, what was she going to do?

Hank sat across from his lawyer discussing the court ruling against The Star. It was only a temporary injunction but at least for the next few weeks it provided some measure of damage control. In the meantime, Richard Wilkins and much of his firm were working nonstop to permanently resolve the matter.
“So how long before the final decision?”
“Hmm, we’re scheduled to appear in about three weeks. As you know, the temporary injunction will remain in effect until the Court makes its decision.”
“And what are our chances?”
“Very good. We have a strong argument, the partners and I are confident they’ll find in our favor.”
“Thank you. I can’t tell you what a relief this is.”
“I’m glad I can help. With everything going on, the last thing you and Joyce need is to worry about this.” Then after a moment, “So, how are you, really?”
“We’re … holding up. It helps having Dawn back, gives us hope.”
“I’m sure it does … how is she?”
“Surprisingly she seems fine. I know she’s far from it but other than the occasional moments of anxiety and trouble sleeping she seems to be functioning normally. Her therapist is confident she’ll do fine.”
“Ah yes, you mentioned she was seeing a professional.”
“Yes, that’s where she and Joyce are right now actually. She goes a few times a week.”
“Good, I was so glad to hear that she was found safe and sound. You two needed some good news in all this … but what of Buffy, has there been any progress?”
“No. Rayne seems to have disappeared with her. Heaven knows what he’s doing to her.”
“You know, I could hardly believe that Ethan’s son was behind this … I didn’t even remember he had a son.”
“Yes, a 37 year old time bomb who clearly blames me for his father’s demise.”
Something in Hank’s voice made Richard take a moment to consider his friend, “Hank, I hope you’re not blaming yourself for this, you had no way of knowing …”
“Didn’t I? I was a prosecutor for the District Attorney; I tried numerous murderers, rapists and other violent criminals. Any one of them could have come after the girls. I should have taken better care to protect my family.”
“Hank, what could you have done differently? Buffy is an adult, she lives alone and Dawn will soon be in college, you can’t keep them under lock and key.”
“Maybe I couldn’t prevent this … but I can’t help but feel I could have done better.” Then he added softly, “And I’m not the only one.”
“Who else blames you? … Joyce?” At Hank’s pointed look, “Joyce blames you for this?”
“I don’t know … she hasn’t said so exactly, it’s just that things are really tense between us right now … the strained silences, she can barely look at me and when she does, there’s just such anger and disappointment in her eyes …”
Listening to the sadness and guilt in his friend’s words, Richard responded, “Hank, I’ve known you most of your life, you, Joyce and the girls are like family to me and I know you love your children more than anything. Perhaps there was something you could have done but torturing yourself about it isn’t going to help. I don’t know what to say about this thing with Joyce but I know she loves you. She may be angry and perhaps she harbors some resentment but I imagine she feels as helpless as you do, and perhaps just as guilty. This kind of thing can destroy a family so please, talk to her before the tension gets worse. I know that will be difficult but Hank, Dawn needs you, she needs both of you and when Buffy returns she will as well. You have to hold together.”
“But that’s just it. When Buffy returns, I’m terrified just thinking that she won’t be ‘Buffy’ anymore. I can see it in Dawn’s eyes; the sparkle is all but gone. What if Buffy comes back … different? I don’t know if I can watch her go through that. What if she never …”
“I know she will. Buffy may be going through hell right now but you and Joyce raised her well, she’s a strong young woman. She will survive this.”
Nodding, Hank fought back the tears he’d been suppressing since Dawn was found. He wanted so badly to believe that Buffy would be ok, that she was strong enough to survive this but his mind was tortured by the graphic details of the tabloid tape and Dawn’s account. Buffy was his little girl and Rayne had indulged in every imaginable pleasure with her. How could he fail so utterly to protect his children?
Seeing Hank was still barely holding on, Richard reached across his desk and took his hand, “Buffy will survive this.”
When Hank finally looked at him, “And so will you.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy sat on the floor assembling a rather elaborate puzzle when Lindsey knocked. When he entered, he smiled when he saw what she was doing, “Where on earth did you find that?”
“Angel brought it up from the library last night … along with a few other things that weren’t damaged in the fire.” She responded guiltily.
“I haven’t seen that in years, I think the last time Angel and I tried putting that thing together it conquered us both. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it completed.”
He then paused at her odd expression, “What is it?”
Raising an eyebrow, “You and Angel did puzzles?”
Smirking, “Hard to believe, I know but yeah, we’ve tackled a few in our time. But this puzzle is actually for adults. It’s quite challenging.”
“So I’m discovering.”
“So besides the puzzle, what have you been up to in here all morning?”
“The usual … shower, breakfast with Angel, TV and now this.”
“And how was breakfast with Angel?”
“As fine as breakfast with Angel can be, I guess. He still hasn’t said when he’s letting me out of here.”
“Are you really that keen on getting out? You hardly left the room before this.”
“Yeah I know but somehow knowing that I could leave made staying in here tolerable. Now, if I don’t go on the balcony every so often I feel like I’m suffocating.”
“Doesn’t Angel take you out?”
“He does, every afternoon he frees me from my cage and takes me for a walk in the gardens. And if I’m really good, he will even let me have lunch out in the gazebo. God, I feel like an indoor pet.”
“Well have you brought it up?”
“I’m not sure I want to.”
“Well Buffy that would be one way to find out.”
“I-I, just have trouble talking to him.”
“It might help if you actually talked to him.”
“I do talk to him … I say ‘good morning,’ ‘good afternoon’ and ‘good night’ and I respond when he asks me something.”
“Fine be stubborn, but I can guarantee you won’t get your answers that way.”
“But … couldn’t you ask him for me?”
“Buffy, I am trying to help both of you but I will not pass notes between you. If you want to know, ask him. He’ll probably tell you.”
“Then why hasn’t he already? It’s his punishment, he should be the one to bring it up.”
“Yes but you’re the one dying to know.”
“It’s been two weeks Lindsey! Two weeks! Shouldn’t he have decided by now? This is torture. Every day I wake up wondering if this is it, will this be the day. And then nothing happens.”
“Exactly my point. But then, perhaps you should be grateful.”
“Lindsey … please?” She infused her voice with the child-like tone that always worked on her father.
“Fine, I’ll tell him you have some concerns you’d like to discuss with him.”
“LINDSEY!”
“Buffy … you have to do this, you cannot continue avoiding him.”
Pouting, “Never mind then.” Then she decided to change tactics, “What if you took me out sometime?” She felt like a small child begging to go out and play.
“After what you tried? No thank you. I’ve agreed to keep an eye on you when Angel is working but I don’t want to be responsible for you trying to run again.”
“Lindsey, I won’t run again. I haven’t tried anything since he confined me here, I won’t do that again.”
“Buffy, you’ve only not tried anything because you haven’t had the opportunity but I know you. I can see the wheels turning in your mind, I know you’re only biding your time so Angel and I will let our guard down so don’t try to act innocent with me. If you go anywhere outside of this room, it will be with Angel.”
Defeated, “I don’t like you.”
“And I am so heartbroken.”
Frowning at his sarcasm, Buffy returned to her puzzle.
Seeing she’d finally given up, at least for the moment, Lindsey picked up his book and read.

When Angel first restricted Buffy to her room, she was glad for the solitude. The suite was large and very accommodating and she had it all to herself. For several days Angel stayed away, the servants and Lindsey her only visitors. During this time, Buffy was determined to show that being confined didn’t bother her and that she could stay in that room indefinitely. Well, in truth, late one night she did try to leave but when she opened the door she immediately came face to face with Adam. She never tried leaving again. So in the meantime, she tried to keep her mind occupied. She spent hours watching the news for any updates on her kidnapping and when she tired of that, she read or exercised. But despite all her efforts she was bored to tears and quickly going stir crazy within the confines of the room. Fortunately, Lindsey’s visits broke the monotony of her routine and helped take the edge off. She was grateful for them. He usually arrived shortly after breakfast and although they didn’t always talk, his presence alone offered support. Unfortunately though, no matter how friendly he was to her, he remained deeply loyal to his cousin.

When Angel did return she refused to speak with him. For days she stubbornly refused to even grace him with a single word. But as always he persisted. To Buffy’s dismay he arranged to have his meals with her. Whenever she called down for something the staff alerted him at which time he would also order and have both meals sent to her room. In fact, unbeknownst to Buffy, he had been monitoring when and what she ate during his entire absence, ensuring she didn’t starve herself. The first time he showed up at her door Buffy was so irritated by his presumptuousness that she completely ignored him. But Angel was not to be discouraged. He continued to share each meal with her and as they ate he constantly tried to get her to talk. When she wouldn’t, he filled the void by talking incessantly about his day, his life and what plans he had for them. Buffy truly marveled at his ability to conduct such elaborate conversations by himself. She really didn’t need to be there. Not that she was listening. Well, honestly, she was listening to every word despite her every attempt to appear otherwise. But finally the day came when she could take no more and had to respond, if only to shut him up. He was ecstatic at the few words she uttered. Now whenever they ate together, Buffy forced herself to make random comments on the weather and the cuisine; anything to keep him from talking her ears off. Their light exchanges had now become routine. Angel appreciated her effort since he too was getting tired of hearing his own voice and didn’t insist their conversations take on a less superficial nature. Finally, she was talking to him again.
It was during these mealtime chats that Angel began taking her for long walks in the gardens or to the library to collect reading material from among the books salvaged from the fire. He kept his hands to himself and seemed satisfied just to be with her. And as much as Buffy hated to admit it, she was bored to tears in her room and found herself looking forward to whatever outing he had planned. Of course, they usually walked in silence, having very limited conversation, neither willing to mention the tapes or her punishment.


After some hours of intense concentration, Buffy proudly slipped the last piece of the puzzle into place and smiled smugly at Lindsey. When he didn’t notice her display, she pointedly cleared her throat.
“Are you trying to get my attention?” He asked without even looking up from his book.
When she didn’t respond he finally looked up at the supreme smirk on her face.
Leaning over, he saw that the puzzle was complete.
When he looked at her in surprise, her smile spread even wider.
His glare was priceless.


A while later Angel entered the suite to find Buffy proudly displaying the completed puzzle. For a few brief moments he took in the smile on her face and the free manner with which she spoke with Lindsey. He felt a little jealous that she was more comfortable with Lindsey than with him and he was beginning to suspect that she was befriending Lindsey partly to spite him but he refused to let that bother him. He trusted Lindsey completely.
Stepping further into the room, Angel finally spoke, “I see you’ve succeeded where Lindsey and I have failed miserably.”
Her smile disappeared instantly.
Attempting to alleviate the now awkward silence, Lindsey asked, “Lunch time already?”
“Um, not really. I was wondering if Buffy would like to get in some tennis before lunch, we can get in a few sets before we eat and then have lunch out in the gazebo.”
“Oh that sounds like a great idea!” Lindsey replied before Buffy could get a word in. Then smiling slyly and pointedly ignoring the glare of death Buffy was giving him, he added “Buffy was just saying how much she wanted to get out and here you come, perfect timing.”
Seeing Lindsey was paying her no mind, she turned to Angel, fully intending to turn him down. But then something Lindsey said earlier came back to her; she had to do this. She couldn’t avoid talking with Angel forever. So instead, when she opened her mouth, she agreed.

Ten minutes later the two headed out to the courts. When they got there, Angel unlocked the supply room and took out all of the equipment they’d need then he proceeded to warm up.
Watching him stretch, Buffy briefly wondered how athletic he was. If his sexual prowess were any indication, this was going to be a tough match.
She decided she’d better warm up too just to avoid injuring herself.
Then after agreeing to play the best of three, Angel prepared to take his first serve.

Bouncing the ball a few times to get his rhythm, he glanced across the court to the tiny young woman clad all in white opposite him. Deciding to take it easy on her this time, he held back and sent the ball almost right to her at a nice easy pace.
She returned it with ease.
He sent it back and she again returned it easily.
Deciding to give her something more challenging, he sent the ball crosscourt at a gentle angle.
And she sent it back.
Seeing that she really could play, he decided to turn up the pressure and within moments, they were engaged in a heated battle.
Of course, he had underestimated just how well she could play.
Angel was quickly learning how fast and agile Buffy really was. She moved gracefully, almost effortlessly across the court, changing directions, running down balls, lobbing and volleying with ease. She outplayed his groundstrokes and nearly broke his serve numerous times. Their games were long and arduous, their rallies heated. They argued fiercely over calls. Soon each had a set, both breathing heavily. But in the end, it was only his powerful serve that saved his pride. When she managed to get to breakpoint in the decisive game of the final set of the match, he served his way out of trouble with two aces back to back. Buffy was furious. She didn’t have the upper body strength to challenge him. In the end she lost, but only by a few games overall.
Seeing how angry she was Angel humbly offered, “Maybe we should replay that last point, I think my ball went wide.”
Recognizing his offer for what it was, she softened, “No, you won fair and square.”
Seeing that wouldn’t appease her, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I shouldn’t have been so competitive.”
“What?” She asked incredulously, “If you had let me win I’d be even angrier.”
“Oh.” He wasn’t sure what to make of that.
Seeing his puzzlement, she offered, “I’ll just have to be content with finishing the puzzle first.”
Caught off guard he burst out laughing, “Yes Buff, that is one victory you can certainly claim.” His eyes gleaming brightly in amusement.
When his laughter finally subsided he asked, “Are you ready for lunch then?”


Quietly Buffy and Angel put away the tennis equipment then walked over to the gazebo where their lunch awaited them. Pulling out her seat, Angel handed her a warm towel to wipe her hands on before eating. After wiping his own hands, he then served her a generous helping of the chicken Caesar salad she had requested. He then filled his own plate with an equally generous helping of lightly breaded chicken breast, red potatoes and string beans.
Sitting across from her, Angel tried to ignore how see through her white blouse had become from her exertions during their match. Her skin was deeply flushed and he could clearly see her hardened nipples straining against the satin and lace of her bra. He was also keenly aware of just how short her tennis skirt was. Clearly she was oblivious to her appearance. Keeping his eyes averted, he focused on his meal. And hoped she wouldn’t notice the increasingly uncomfortable bulge in his pants.

Lunch couldn’t have ended soon enough for Angel. One moment longer and he would have given in to temptation and kissed her. But he didn’t want to scare her off when she finally seemed to be opening up to him so he restrained himself. Fortunately, much to his relief and disappointment, her blouse had dried somewhat during lunch so he could no longer see through it. Of course that did little to relieve his pressing erection.
Escorting her back to the villa, he tried to hide his discomfort. He didn’t want to offend her.
Unfortunately, that’s when Buffy decided she wanted to talk.
“Angel … are you going to keep me in my room much longer?”
Pausing, he finally built up the courage to look at her.
He wished he hadn’t.
Her wide-eyed curiosity was going to kill him.
“To be honest Buffy, I’m not sure what to do with you. Beyond keeping you in your room I can’t think of anything that will satisfy both of us. You’ve made your feelings abundantly clear and I refuse to force you, so we’re at an impasse. Right now confining you to the room is the easiest solution and probably the safest for us both.”
“You could let me go.”
“No, I couldn’t bear to.”
Looking away she continued walking in silence. She was tired of this conversation.
Seeing her withdraw he instinctively touched her shoulder, turning her to him.
When she refused to meet his eyes, he offered, “Buff, I’d rather not have you roaming freely but perhaps we can arrange for you to have a bit more freedom.”
When she finally looked at him he added, “Is there anything you’d particularly like to do?”
“No. I’m fine in my room.” She then turned and continued to the house. It was too late.

Angel sat in his office reading a report when a soft knock broke into his thoughts. Opening the door, he was surprised to find Buffy on the other side.
“Is something wrong?” He asked curious of her presence. She wasn’t allowed in his office.
“Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to speak with you. Can you spare a few minutes?”
“I’d spare a lifetime for you.” He then lifted her hand and gently kissed it before guiding her into his office.
Leading her to a chair, he waited until she was seated before returning to his.
“What did you wish to discuss, my dear?”
”Your offer.”
“My offer?”
“Yes, you said there were few things you would deny me. You offered to make me your partner, the mistress of this house.”
“Of all my houses.” He eagerly corrected.
“Yes.”
“Are you considering it?”
“Perhaps … if the offer is right.”
“Well, what exactly did you want to know?”
“The details, what exactly are you offering? And what exactly is expected of me in return?”
“Hmmm, well, there’s the obvious. I will provide you with almost anything your heart desires.”
“Well see that’s just it, the ‘almost anything.’ What are the exceptions?”
“Well clearly you would not be allowed to go home. Perhaps eventually I can arrange for you to contact your family, to let them know that you’re well. But otherwise, there would be no contact with them. In addition, you’d be free to come and go as you like but only with an armed escort. That encompasses the ‘almost anything.’” Then, “As to my expectations, well, obviously you would willingly engage in a sexual relationship with me. You would have social responsibilities, various parties, galas and receptions to host and attend. But foremost, you would be my partner.” Then after pausing dramatically he added, “And if you find that you could be happy with me then I am certainly eager to make it legal. Perhaps one day we’ll have our own family.”
Buffy remained silent, taking it all in. Could she walk away from her former life and family to be his mistress? Could she bear his children?
At her silence he added, “But that’s just the bare details.” Then kneeling before her, “Imagine all the wonderful things we could do together. You are the most precious thing to me, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much.”
Looking into his eyes, “But …”
“But what?” He encouraged.
“But what if I cannot be happy with you?”
“If you make an honest effort and still find that you are unhappy then I’ll give you what you want. I’ll let you go, free and clear. But it has to be an honest effort Buff, please, just give us a chance.”
“How long will that take?”
“I don’t think it’s something we should put a time limit on but we can see how you feel six months from now, a year from now and gauge things from there.”
“How do I know you’ll keep your word?”
“You can get it in writing if you wish.” Then after a moment, “So, what do you think of the offer?”
When she didn’t answer, “Tell you what, go and take some time. Think about it.” Then after a moment, “But first, may I remind you of the depth of my love?”
Before she could answer he was on her mouth, kissing her deeply.
Buffy was so taken aback that at first she didn’t respond to his kiss. But when she felt him pulling away her hands grasped his shoulders as she began kissing him in return. Their kiss was deep and passionate, leaving both breathless.
Finally breaking from each other, Angel began standing when Buffy took his hand. When he looked at her, “I’ve thought about it.”
“And?”
“And, I think I can try.” She then smiled slightly at him.

It took a moment for her words to penetrate his brain but when they did, he immediately pulled her from her seat and into his arms. Kissing her again, his hands eagerly roamed her body, he needed to feel her and know that she was really there. Feeling her warmth, his kisses became more frantic, more demanding. His urgency and his desire to make it last warred with each other. He didn’t want their first time as a couple to be a fuck. But Buffy had other ideas. She had forgotten how skillful a lover he was, that he could have her trembling in need with the slightest touch. Desperate to sate her own desire, she roughly undid his pants, freeing him. Sliding her hand along his shaft, she stroked his already hardened length till he was gasping uncontrollably. She felt an odd sense of power holding him by the balls. But that was not to last. Seeing the unbridled passion in her eyes, Angel quickly unbuttoned her blouse. Lifting her, he pushed down her bra and latched onto her breast, suckling hungrily. Soon her gasps of pleasure filled the room, fueling his own desire. But he was not done with her yet. Gently pressing her against the wall, he worked his hand into her underwear, his finger penetrating her. At her sharp gasp, he eased his finger in, gently massaging her inner walls till she was slick with moisture. Only then did he rub her clit in the same circular motion, eliciting loud moans in response. Staring into her eyes, he watched her every response to his ministrations. She was an open book to him and he held her exposed until he knew she was close to her crisis. Only then did he lower his mouth to suckle her breast again. Buffy was on fire. Angel was quickly propelling her to orgasm and the instant he felt the pulsing of her core, he doubled his efforts, sending her into a frenzy. But this time, instead of drawing out her pleasure he abandoned her quaking sheath and quickly replaced his moist fingers with his manhood. Buffy shrieked when he penetrated her, his rock hard length stretching her to capacity. But she was too numb with orgasm to feel any discomfort beyond the rippling aftershocks his length triggered within her. Stilling momentarily for her to fully accommodate him, Angel lightly pinched her nipples and kissed her ardently. Then as she began moving against him, he partly withdrew before thrusting into her again. Together they set an easy pace, each thrust slow and deep, then as their urgency built, his thrusts became, faster, harder and more frantic. Angel knew she was close but he was ready to burst. So deftly his hand slipped between them, fondling her till yet again he felt the initial clenching of her orgasm. Then suddenly he grasped her hips and ploughed into her, sending them both spiraling into oblivion, their names spilling from each other’s lips.

And suddenly Angel awoke.

It had been a few hours since he took Buffy back to her room. Afterward, he showered and decided to take a nap; he hadn’t been sleeping well lately. And this was the very reason why. He was constantly dreaming of Buffy, more often than not, dreaming of having sex with her. This time they were in his office. Last time it was the formal dining room, on the terrace before that. And the odd thing was that he always knew it was a dream while he was dreaming it. The real Buffy would never be so forgiving yet he couldn’t stop himself.
Collapsing against the pillows, Angel sighed. He was beyond frustrated. His muscles were incredibly tense and he was having trouble concentrating on anything other than Buffy. Her hair, her skin, her eyes. Trying to get any work done was a complete waste of time. Day and night he was tormented by her smile, her laughter. He constantly wanted to be around her but when he was, he felt obscene and compelled to leave her presence. He’d never felt such shame in his life; shame for his actions and for his continued desire for her. The guilt and agony were slowly driving him crazy.
Once the dreams began in earnest he had tried to relieve the tension himself but he was never able to fully sate his desire, partly because he fantasized about her while doing so. If anything it made it all worse. So he resorted to cold showers and working out constantly in his gym. But eventually the showers had no effect. His only recourse now was to train so rigorously that he’d collapse from exhaustion the minute he entered his room. But that too was quickly losing its effect. Granted, it had occurred to him that he could seek comfort elsewhere. There was never a shortage of women at the local hotels who wouldn’t mind spending an evening with him but just the thought of touching anyone but Buffy made him cringe. She was the object of his desire and he needed her. Only her.
Rolling over, Angel wondered how much longer he could go on like this.


In her room, Buffy lie in bed thinking of Angel. He had left her some time ago and she had showered and changed into some shorts and a tank. Now she was alone with her thoughts. And as much as she hated to admit it, she actually thought of him a lot. Not for the first time she wondered how he could live with himself knowing all the things he’d done. How could a person be so malicious and cruel? But what drew her curiosity was how different he and Lindsey were. Granted there were many similarities between them but she couldn’t help but notice the differences. Physically, Angel was bigger and much darker and intense whereas Lindsey’s more casual demeanor and boyish looks made him appear much less threatening. That made talking with Lindsey fairly easy for her but despite her apparent rapport with him, she was still very skeptical. Clearly he was complicit in Angel’s criminal dealings so how was it that someone so nice and friendly could be involved in such things? That made her question his genuineness. Was it possible that Lindsey was better at disguising his true nature than Angel? Well, Lindsey was a lawyer and if Buffy learnt anything from her father and his colleagues it was that they never showed their hand. Granted, she didn’t think Lindsey was trying to get her in bed, well, at least not his anyway but she found it odd that he was so determined to get her into Angel’s. He obviously knew she was using him to avoid Angel and that’s really why he wouldn’t take her anywhere. And that brought her back to Angel. Her mind kept replaying their tennis match and the lunch they shared afterward. But what plagued her thoughts more than anything was their brief conversation. It wasn’t simply what he said but also how he said it.
Was he no longer going to punish her? Well, her confinement seemed to have become her punishment instead but clearly he was using it as a way to give them both what they wanted, or at least partly so. Was he giving up? If so, what did that mean for her?


That evening Angel dined alone on the balcony of the guest room. He was in no state, mental or physical, to see Buffy again so soon. But he was miserable without her. Even the usually delectable entrée tasted bland. Granted, she certainly never attempted to make him feel welcomed but now he couldn’t even see her glare at him. God, he was pathetic.
Sighing, Angel set aside his dinner, he had no appetite. Walking the length of the balcony, he gazed out in the distance. It was nearly sun set and he wished he could share its beauty with her.
Finally, he had had enough of this brooding. He was a man of action and he was about to act.

Pulling himself together he quickly made a phone call, showered again, shaved and got dressed. Satisfied with his appearance, he took a deep breath and headed to Buffy’s room.

Buffy was just finishing her dinner when she heard the knock on her door. She knew who it was. Taking her time, she slowly went over and opened the door.
“Angel?”
“Buffy, I apologize for not joining you this evening. How was your dinner?” He asked as he nervously shifted from leg to leg.
“Fine, as always.” She answered curious at his odd behavior.
“Buffy, I’d like to take you out this evening, someplace other than my gardens. That’s if you don’t mind.”
Buffy was stunned. Was Angel asking her out on a date? Thrown, she didn’t know whether to laugh in his face or slap him again. She went with neither. Going out was good, it was another chance to be seen and perhaps get help.
Smiling coyly but not too eagerly, she accepted his invitation.
A while later, Buffy had changed and the two left the villa on what was to be their unofficial first date.

About forty-five minutes later, they arrived at a pier. Taking her hand, Angel guided her past several large yachts along the pier. The entire place was quiet and Buffy had yet to see anyone she might appeal to. It was only then that it occurred to her that he might be taking her out to sea to kill her and dispose of her body.
She began to pull back.
Feeling her try to pull from him, he tightened his grasp and turned to her, “Buffy, please do not try to run again. This pier is wet and slippery and you may fall and hurt yourself. I do not wish for our evening to turn ugly.”
“Then where are you taking me?”
“I-I hoped to surprise you.” When she looked totally unconvinced, he added, “It’s the yacht at the end. I’d like to take you sailing around the bay.”
“And you can’t do that early in the day when there’s lots of people around?”
“What are you talking about? It’s most peaceful out here when there aren’t dozens of other people making noise to disturb you.”
“Or to be witnesses you mean.”
“What?” It was only then that he realized what she was thinking. “Buffy, I didn’t bring you out here to do anything to you.” When she still looked doubtful, he added, “Buff, think about it. If I planned to harm you in any way then why would I bring you out here where someone might actually see us together when I could have carried out whatever you think I’m planning in the privacy of my own home?”
She had to admit, he had a point. But she wasn’t about to admit it to him. “Well, perhaps you plan to dump my body when you’re done.”
Taking a deep breath, “Buffy, I am not planning to kill you. Why would you think that?”
“Well you said you weren’t sure what you were going to do with me. Then you bring me to this dark, isolated pier … what else would I think?”
“That I’m trying to find ways to give you more freedom as I suggested earlier.”
She wanted to believe him.
When she still looked skeptical, he conceded, “Fine, how about we go back to the car and just watch the boats go by? You don’t have to get anywhere near the water.”
She considered it briefly then nodded.
Turning back, Angel tried to hide his disappointment. What did he expect? She didn’t trust him and for good reason.

Back in the car, Angel put in a CD to lighten the mood. Avoiding all love songs, he picked something neutral. And the two of them just stared out at the few boats in the bay, each in their own world. That is until Angel recalled something she brought up.
“Buffy, when I said I didn’t know what to do with you I meant that I am at a loss of how to give you freedom without endangering my staff. I was not happy that you set my house on fire and tried to stab me but after what I did to you I deserve much worse. I will not punish you any more than you already have been.”
“Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?”
“The tapes.”
When he didn’t answer right away she got angry, “Tell me damn it!”
“I can’t.”
“Oh don’t give me that bullshit.”
When he still didn’t answer she snapped.
Suddenly opening the car door in disgust, she bolted, intent on getting as far away from him as possible.
It took a moment before Angel realized that she was escaping. Again.
Cursing, he jumped out of the car in pursuit. He ran like a madman desperately clutching to his last shred of sanity.
And by some miracle he caught her.
Holding her tightly in his grasp, he pulled her to the ground, bracing himself against her pounding fists as she vented her fury. She was striking out wildly against him, her cries increasingly desperate.
But despite her struggles he held her close, murmuring his apologies soothingly in her ear.
As her struggles died down, he turned her to him and holding her more firmly, began speaking more clearly, finally answering her question. “I did it because I wanted Hank to feel what I felt, the pain and disgrace that my mother felt. Ethan might have been a criminal but he was my father and I loved him. And while my father wasted away in prison, my poor mother and I were forced to live with an animal. He used her every way imaginable and every day of my life I lived with her shame and watched it destroy her. I hated your father and I wanted to take everything he cared for away from him. But all I’ve done is allow my anger and hatred to consume me and I’ve destroyed everything I’ve ever cared for, even you.”
Then caressing her hair, “I know that’s no excuse and I can’t even begin to make this better but I love you Buffy and I hate all that I’ve done to you, all that I’ve become.” His voice was now ragged with unshed tears.
Buffy was trembling. This wasn’t exactly what she expected. There was just such anguish in his eyes. She felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water all over her. She didn’t know what to say to him.

tbc ...

A/N: Now before I have people sending me hate mail - no, Buffy is not going to jump in the sack with Angel the second they get back to the villa just because she feels sympathy for him. The sexual aspects will take more time but I need to get these two talking.

Second - yes, I cheated. I wanted to get sex in this chapter without compromising the story too much so Angel had to dream it.

Last - some of you have sent me emails but for some reason when I tried to reply tfew few of them I kept getting an error message and it just won't go. This does not occur with everyone, only a few. Maybe Yahoo is having issues, I don't know but please know that I am not ignoring you. I do appreciate your feedback.