London Calling

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Chapter 17


"OK everyone," The DJ announced from his perch on the stage. "It's time for the bride and groom to cut the cake!"

The crowd cheered as Xander and Anya made their way towards the table where the large confection sat. Gazing up at the little figurines at the very top of the cake, Xander frowned and quickly jumped up to grab them.

"What the hell?!" He yelled, waving them around. "Who put a Barbie dress on the groom?!"

The group laughed, causing Xander to scowl and shake the dolls... sending one of their heads flying into the cake with a loud splat.

"Xander!" Anya yelled, digging her elbow into his side. "Don't ruin the cake! We still have to take pictures with it!"

"Ooh!" The DJ intoned, wincing. "That's gotta smart!"

Xander grimaced and rubbed at his side. "Geez, Ahn! Why are your elbows always so pointy?"

"POINTY?!" Anya shrieked, immediately lifting said-elbows to get a better look. "My elbows are NOT pointy!"

Xander pulled out his dress shirt and pointed to the discolored area of flesh on his abdomen. "Look! I call THAT pointy!"

Anya got an evil smile on her fac"Poi"Pointy? Oh, I'll SHOW you pointy!" Aiming her elbows in his direction, she then proceeded to chase Xander around the table.

"Help, somebody help!" He yelped, leaping over chairs and various small children.

"Xander! Stop ing ing around like that. You're acting like a crazy person!" Anya shouted, still following him with her elbows pointed outwards.

"No way!" He yelled, turning to look back at her. "Not until you put those daggers of death away!"

In Xander's hurry to get away from her, he failed to notice that little Jordy had stuck his foot out into his path.

"Yiieee!" Xander screamed, plunging head-first into the enormous wedding cake.

Stunned into silence, the crowd merely stood still in shock as Xander flopped about in the mounds of gooey icing.

"Oops." Jordy mumbled, blushing.

noisnoise in the room abruptly swelled as the group broke into screams of laughter.

"Please," Buffy gasped out. "SOMEBODY tell me we got that on videotape!"

"Oh yeah!" Devon yelled, shaking the video camera at her. "It's all right here. I can't wait to send this baby in to America's Funniest Home Videos! Dude, I'm gonna be a millionaire!"

Anya quietly made her way over to her husband's side.

"Xander?" She asked, reaching out a supplicating hand in his direction. "I'm... sorry."

Xander smiled toothily, face full of chocolate cake and whipped frosting. "That's all right, sweetheart. You can make it up to me. C'mere and gimme a kiss."

Anya looked horrified. "No! My dress, my make up! It'll be ruined..."

Xander pretended to ponder this situation, tapping his finger lightly against his chin. "I don't know, what do YOU guys think?" He asked, turning to their audience.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" The crowd chanted, causing Anya to drop her head in defeat.

"All right." She grumbled, leaning in to press her lips chastely to his.

Grabbing her, he pulled her down onto his lap for a fiery smooch.

"Xander," She squealed, pushing against his chest. "What are you doing?!"

"C'mon!" He said, smiling. "You KNOW you love Cakey Xander."

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I really, really do." She replied, kissing him once more.

"Aww!" The crowd sighed.

Buffy and Spike looked at one another and quietly linked hands.

"They... look like they belong together. Don't you think?" Buffy asked, a completely different question evident in her eyes.

He smiled at her tenderly and squeezed her fingers. "I really think they do, Pet." Spike raised their joined hands and kissed her palm.

"Mrs. Anya Summers?" A woman in a blue powersuit questioned, walking towards the newly married couple with a camera in hand.

"That's me!" Anya replied happily, snuggling into Xander's lap.

"I'm here from Cosmopolitan Magazine. You were entered into our modern bride contest and I'm happy to say... You've Won!"

Anya shrieked with joy. "I won! I won! Oh God, I actually WON!" She paused. "Wait a minute... what did I win?"

The woman smiled. "You won a pictorial in our July Issue!" She put the camera up to her face and clicked the shutter. "There! What a great shot. This will be available in newstands next month, but we'll be sending you a free copy in the mail. Congratulations!" The woman turned to go.

All the blood slowly drained from Anya's face.

Turning back, the woman added one last comment.

"You can thank Buffy Summers for informing us of your upcoming nuptuals! If it weren't for her, millions of people wouldn't be seeing this picture of you in our magazine!"

Anya stared after the woman in dismay.

"Buffy Anne Summers!" She finally shouted when she regained full use of her vocal chords, "I'm going to KILL you!"


***


Xander mopped at his jacket with a paper towel, grimacing when it came back completely full of icing.

"You'll never get all that off." A voice said, coming from the doorway to the men's room. "You might as well just give up."

Xander sighed heavily. "Spike."

"Xander." Spike mockingly replied, sauntering inside. Standing beside him at the mirror, he contemplated his friend's face in the glass. "Why don't you just take the bloody thing off?"

Xander scrubbed harder at his jacket. "Anya will have a FIT if I don't come back out there with it on. After this whole Cosmo debacle, she's on a mission to get fantastic pictures taken for the rest of the reception."

Spike chuckled. "I don't doubt she'll be ready to storm their New York offices just as soon as she gets these new prints developed."

Xander smiled ruefully. "You know it."

Looking down at his coat, he threw down the wadded paper towel he'd been using to clean himself. "You're right. This is useless." He ran a tired hand through his hair, wincing when he realized he'd just rubbed a mound of frosting into it. "Goddamnit!"

"Here's what we'll do." Spike said, shrugging out of his jacket. "I'll give you my coat."

It was a definite sacrifice, Spike thought to himself. The coat still smelled like Buffy. Resisting the urge to lift it to his nose for one last good whiff, he handed the garment over to his friend.

Xander smiled begrudgingly. "Hey, thanks man. I appreciate this."

Spike shrugged. "It's YOUR wedding, r alr all."

Xander slipped on the coat and winced at the binding effect it immediately had on him.

"Jesus, Spike!" He complained, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the fabric. "You really ARE a midget."

Spike's eyes widened in indignation. "I'm bloody well not! Just because you're excruciatingly overgrown and resemble a neanderthal doesn't mean I'm a fucking MIDGET!" He looked in the mirror and smoothed down a wayward curl. "I'll have you know that I'm the perfect specimen of a man."

Xander burst out laughing.

Spike gave him a look, then proceeded to chuckle himself.

"You're one in a million, buddy." Xander said, heartily slapping Spike on the back.

"This mean we're friends again?" Spike asked, grinning.

"Yeah, we're friends." Xander replied. "Besides, I can't get rid of you. I need all the male testosterone I can get, living in that den of PMS!"

His look becoming serious, he placed a hand on Spike's shoulder. "I just wanna ask you one thing. At the risk of sounding COMPLETELY grandpa... What exactly are your intentions towards my sister?"

Looking Xander squarely in the eye, he replied in a firm voice:

"I'm going to marry that girl."

Xander smiled broadly and put his arm around Spike's shoulders. "Well, good. Now that we've got THAT cleared up, let's go hit the bar!"

They walked back to the reception together.

***

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