Fragments

This follows the comics. Word of warning to anyone who's read them that a mistake or two regarding canon may be present.

Those who have not read them, you should know that earlier in the current season of Angel & Faith, Faith and a team of Slayers were dispatched to South America to rescue a group of people from a vampire tribe; one of those people being Riley Finn, Faith took the mission in hopes of making up for the misdeeds concerning Riley.

Quick question for you guys: how have you been enjoying the short glimpses of smut I've thrown in a few times? Do you guys want longer/more involved sex scenes, or would that interrupt the rhythm of the fic so far? I'm down for the former- always loved writing em- but I can tell whoever may be concerned about the latter that any scene that becomes gratuitous will have a point to it. I'm sure once or twice I'm gonna post a PWP, but less without plot and more... plot. :3 do share your thoughts!

Hope you guys aren't getting bored. I'm having a helluva time coming up with ideas. :3 Remember to check me out on Twitter neytirijade

Prompt #19: Grace

In Stockton, we're given a "rewards" system that qualifies as a mark of good behavior on our records. Of course, they'll only write it down once; when they do, you can either say "fuck it" and continue with the system, or just do whatever you want once you got the big shiny stamp in your file. 'Course, every time you fuck up, those write-ups cancel out the rewards.

Only took about eight months for me to realize that one.

At any rate, I fucking despised the system. I didn't mind the cleaning; everywhere but the bathrooms, of course. Cafeterias got pretty gross sometimes, too. You lock up a mess of human females, take away most of their basic rights and keep 'em in the same vicinity, they're gonna resemble apes soon enough.

But I digress. My favorite was the job they got me set up with. Some of the others gotta hustle in the cafeteria, or the yard- me? I got to work the library.

Yeah, yeah. Faith Lehane can read. Shocker, huh?

Another nice surprise was the book selection. There were a few hundred along the stacks- neatly lined up and placed in the right order, after I arrived- and many of 'em were worn down to the point of no return. There was a lot of nonfiction, which caught my attention every once in a while; but I was always into the fiction. Devoured everything from Memoirs of a Geisha to The Girl Next Door (I don't recommend the latter), and got to spend hours on my own without having to watch my back among the troves of paperbacks.

Gettin' off topic, ain't I? Anyway, one of the "extracurriculars" that counted high up in the system was group therapy. Yeah, you heard right. The Dark Slayer got herself some shrinking while in the pen.

No, I know. I'm just as surprised as you.

Moving on.

Took me a good few months to get comfortable in the group; or, in the least, stop scoffing or rolling my eyes at everything that was said. Mostly 'cause I kept getting kicked out.

Even though I stayed cynical as fuck about it for a while, I had the annoying habit of actually listening, no matter how bad I wanted to be somewhere else. When I told Angel that, he said it's my curiosity. I looked at him sardonically and told him about the creepy Native American dude who told me my spirit animal was some kinda cat.

Couple weeks into my sentence, someone told this story about a swan that fell into a black hole. I didn't look to see if anyone shot me any annoyed looks when I snickered. Abby and Amy in Wonderland. Oh wait. Those were ducks in The Aristocats.

Point is, the whole story was supposed to represent taking a leap of faith (hardy har) into the unknown, and coming out "better" on the other side. All full of wisdom and shit.

Sarcasm and all aside, it wasn't all that great of a story, honestly. A swan looking for the "future", talking about her "journey" to the dragonfly she most likely hallucinated? Not to mention, it's a freaking swan; the story probably came from some acid trip. Eh. I could vomit a plotline better than that.

A few weeks after the incident with Soldier Boy, when we were lending a hand to B and her gang in San Francisco, I was thinking about what Riley said to me after we freed him. I'd not seen him since the body-swap, and I was feeling all sorts of guilty; so I'd tried to apologize to him. But the former Initiative soldier shook his head, and told me that the apology didn't belong to him. It belonged to The Chosen One herself: she was the person I'd needed to say those words to, not him.

Truth is, it's been years that B and I have been fighting the good fight together again. Yeah, most of it's been in our own corners of the world; point being, I'd been chicken shit to try and apologize. I felt like I didn't even deserve the chance to say the words.

But I'd been thinking about it (obsessing over it, more like), and after weeks of doubt, I decided I had nothing left to lose. Buffy could take it or leave it; I just needed her to hear it from me.

And so I finally get the Golden Girl alone… and I practically trip over the words, I'm so goddamn nervous and impatient to just get them the fuck out. Swan dive.

It takes everything in me to hold her gaze for the long moments of silence I'm greeted with in response. The "moment" (whatever, it felt like one) is interrupted as we hear Dawn inside; squealing at the top of her lungs. What about, I don't know. The ache in my heart was starting to get kinda loud when B's eyes leave mine.

So I tear my gaze away from her, moving to sit at the front step while I shake a cigarette loose from the pack in my jacket.

I almost jump three feet into the air when I feel a hand on my shoulder; I turn to see B crouching down next to me, her eyes softer than I've ever seen them and the ghost of a smile on her lips. She squeezes my shoulder gently, leans forward, and presses her lips to my cheekbone.

"Thank you," she says, pulling away. "For everything. For being here, for helping. For being you."

And she's gone before I can wrap my head around the moment that just occurred, and I feel myself smiling lightly.

Later that week, I decided to get my second tattoo; spanning the length of my back, in bold, black tribal ink, was a swan with its wings spread.

"Swan smiled and said, "Dragonfly, I learned to surrender my body to the power of Great Spirit and was taken to where the future lives. I saw many wonders high on Sacred Mountain and because of my faith and my acceptance I have been changed. I have learned to accept a state of grace." Dragonfly was very happy for Swan.

Swan told Dragonfly many of the wonders beyond the illusion. Through her healing and her acceptance of the state of grace, she was given the right to enter the Dreamtime.

So it is that we learn to surrender to the grace of the rhythm of the universe, and slip from our physical bodies into the Dreamtime. Swan medicine teaches us to be at one with all planes of consciousness, and to trust in the Great Spirit's protection."