Lost Memories

The walk back to his crypt started off quiet and rather uneventful. She couldn’t believe it. She’d been expecting him to start with the innuendos and all too knowing glances and smirks as soon as she was out the window, but he hadn’t uttered a word after his initial “ ’Ello luv, ready to go?”.

He was holding her hand and it was……….nice, very nice. But this wasn’t what she wanted, she didn’t need another reminder of what she was giving up. She let him lead her gently by the hand until they reached the first crypt, focusing all of her energy into controlling her heartbeat and breathing. As they passed the side of the crypt, out of view of the road, she spun quickly, effectively trapping him between her body and the side of the building. Before he could protest her lips were on his, hot, wet, and demanding.

Willow’s mouth on his caused a momentary brain malfunction. Under the very pleasant assault of her lips and tongue, he forgot all of his plans to romance and seduce her. The desire he had to hear her beg for more, to drive her crazy with want was lost under the layers of fog now floating around his head. He let her take the lead for as long as the demon in him would allow, almost a full minute, before flipping them. He pinned her to the wall just high enough so that her feet couldn’t reach the ground. He used his left knee to hold her up and took control of the kiss.

Her plan had been to put a stop to the silly preamble and get down to business. He wanted to fuck her, so she’d give him that, but only that. She didn’t think she could afford to get in any deeper than she already was. If he kept up his “nice guy” routine she was scared she’d lose her resolve to do what must be done. When he took over, she lost that plan and just started to feel. And goddess he felt too good.

Her first frantic grind against his leg is what forced him back to reality. He didn’t want it like this, not with her. He didn’t want her rutting herself to orgasm on him still fully clothed and out in the open for anyone to see. He used all his willpower to summon enough restraint to tear his mouth away and gently stand her once again on her own two feet. With his hands bracing him on either side of her shoulders and his forehead resting on hers he took several cleansing, calming breaths before meeting her astounded gaze.

No, no, no, she needed this to be fast and hard and over. The more time she spent with him, the deeper she let him in, the harder it would be to walk away. She tried to kiss him again and he obliged, but would only permit a short almost friendly kiss before he pulled away again. Ok, now she was confused, isn’t this what he wanted?

“Spike, what’s going on? I thought you wanted this. Oh no, do you not want this? I thought I was understanding today, maybe I got it wrong.” She was busy replaying their earlier conversation when he swooped in for another kiss, this one long and slow and seriously lacking in the intense passion department, but all the sweeter for it.

Bloody hell, he loved kissing her, could do this all night, just this and nothing else. But, this was to be his last night with her, and as tempting as her kisses were, he wanted more and he needed her to understand what was happening.

“Oh believe me, I want.” He emphasized that statement with a measured flick of his hips that pressed his hardened length into her stomach and sent a shiver through her body. “Just not like this, get enough of the rough and tumble, yeah?”

Now she understood. What he needed was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. Goddess she couldn’t give him that without losing a little more of her heart in the process. No, she would give him whatever he needed and she’d make herself walk away in the morning. After all, in a few hours she wouldn’t remember how much she loved him or how bad she wanted to just stay in his arms for the rest of her life.

“Ok then, let’s go.” This time it was her who took his hand leading him toward his crypt. She let her breathing and heart rate do what it would, she knew he’d enjoy witnessing the affect he had on her.


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Once they were inside, he stopped her at the top of the ladder. “Stay here for just a minute, need to light a couple candles. It’s dark down there, don’t want you falling and hurting yourself.” He placed a quick kiss on her head before disappearing down the dark hole in front of them.

Spike quickly lit the candles he had earlier arranged all over the room. A crypt may be suitable for a vampire, but it worried him to no end that it would be too dark, depressing, and cold for her tastes. She’d stayed here with him a lot, but this time was different. There were no illusions about what they were doing, and he wanted it to be as romantic as possible, as glorious as she deserved. He’d considered finding them a nice hotel room, but had changed his mind almost straight away. It was greedy of him, of that he was aware, but he wanted her here. He wanted to be able to drown himself in her scent on his sheets for days to come. He took one look around, making sure everything was just right before inviting her down.

He was gone for almost five minutes, how long did it take to “light a couple candles” anyway? Now that she’d resolved to do this and do it right, she was a little anxious to get started. Their hot make out session in the cemetery had her more that a little worked up and he’d stopped her before she could find any release from the friction his leg had provided.

“Alright luv, come on down.” His voice drifted up to her through the opening in the floor.

“Ok, but um, could you move back a little?”

“Move back?”

“Is there an echo down there? Yes please, about three steps should do it.” Couldn’t have him seeing what was under the jacket before she was ready, it would lose the desired affect. Though her tactics had changed drastically, she still wanted to see the look on his face when this bulky thing finally hit the floor.

“Ok, ok, pet, calm down, I’m moving, but only three steps. Want to be able to catch you if you fall.”

As if he wouldn’t be able to get across the room before she was halfway to the ground anyway. “I’ve been climbing ladders for years, Spike. Besides, I’m not a child.” She was stepping off the final rung as she said the last. She turned around to meet those intense blue eyes, and her breath caught in her throat.

“Believe me, Red, your status as a fully grown-” His eyes ran the length of her body “-exceptionally beautiful, startlingly sexy woman is not something I’ll be overlooking again.”

She felt the blush creep up her neck and into her cheeks. It wasn’t embarrassment, but pure desire that caused her blood to rush to the surface. A few words and one very alluring perusal of her….assets had her weak in the knees. How did he do that?

He stepped back and she was pulled from her reverie and finally noticed the room around her. She was shocked into an even longer silence. There were candles everywhere. He normally lit a few for her when she was here, but tonight there were enough to chase the ever-present chill from the air and bathe the entire room in an flickering golden glow. The usual cotton sheets were replaced with dark silk. Laying in the center of all that black, providing a stark contrast, was one single red rose.

When her eyes finally found his she saw all the hope and uncertainty written across his features and felt a tear slip down her face. No one had ever gone to this much trouble for her. She’d never been wooed like this. Then to have him wonder if she'd like it, worried that she wouldn’t? It was just too much, too much everything. Why couldn’t the people who loved her care this much?

“Spike…. It, It’s beautiful. No, better than beautiful, what’s a word better than beautiful? Stunning? No, that’s not right either, not a good enough word. I can’t….there aren’t any words good enough.”

He’d been trying for months to give Buffy that look of wonderment, but a few candles, new sheets, and one flower was all it took for Willow. This was the first time he’d ever met a person who deserved the kind of love and devotion he could give and she wasn’t his, never would be. He brushed aside those more depressing thoughts and moved to put his arms around her, deciding to make this night unforgettable and think about the rest some other time.

Before he could encompass her in those arms she craved so badly, she held up her hand to stop him. “Wait, I’ve got a surprise for you too.” She kicked off the tennis shoes she was wearing, and then started slowly unbuttoning the thick coat she wore. His pants were suddenly three sizes too small as he got peek a boo glimpses of dark green and black lace.

He’d made it a point to always comment on how good she looked in green, going on and on about how well it complimented her skin tone and hair. When she’d found the almost hunter green teddy at the lingerie shop this afternoon, she’d known immediately that it was perfect, and she wasn’t disappointed as all was finally revealed. Even without his preternatural senses, she could tell he was enthralled with every inch of skin and lace she exposed. Finally disrobed, she once again looked into his eyes and was taken aback by all the heat she saw there and the gold tint that drove her crazy.

“Willow, my god, you’re………….” He was speechless, he licked his suddenly dry lips and tried to find the right word, but just like her, he was sure there wasn’t one. No one had ever taken the time to find a word that would do her beauty justice. So, instead of inadequate declarations, he used his lips, tongue, and teeth, trying to convey every emotion flowing through his body.