Happy To Bleed For You

(Npov)


Deep in her thoughts,Willow startled Kennedy by suddenly peeling her hands off of her tight jeans,and placing them around her waist,leaning her head on her shoulder and placing her hand against her chest. She let out a little sigh,"So Sammy left two days ago?"

Tentatively,Kennedy wrapped her other hand around her waist and laid down on the bed. Willow brought foward a few strands of her hair and played with them,thinking out loud. "You look really good in red," Willow giggled at her shirt. Ken was wearing a red shirt,the buttons open enough to reveal the dip at her chest and throat,and a little at the bottom to show her smooth stomach,the flannel material warm under her skin. Anything looked good on her.

Chuckling at how foward Willow was acting,Kennedy kissed her forehead. Willow was surprised at her tenderness. "Does that mean we should go get some whipped cream?"

That did the trick! Willow was blushing to match the shade of her shirt. Kennedy still found it cute and sometimes annoying that Willow was still so shy. She leaned over,placing feather light teasing kisses on her collar bone.

"K-Ken..." Willow stammered. Ken could always make her speechless like a mindless puppet.

"What?" she said huskyly,drawing little hearts on her throat with her tongue.

Willow moaned,her hands flying to Kennedy's hair where she stroked her raven locks "We-we-we shouldn't...be doing...thi-this." she tried to reason.

Ken smirked through her flesh,"Doing what?" she asked innocently.

"Ken...vampire..uh! Sammy is-...is...Faith's here...slayer hearing,she'll-she'll-she'll he-hear us." Willow stuttered and was surprised that she actually finished the damn sentence before christmas.

Ken sighed,rolling off of her to the side of the bed,her hand covering her face as she panted. "Damn those slayers." she cursed because she knew it was true and she and Willow could get pretty loud. "I say we buy a shotgun and when they're sleeping we can just sneak into their room and-"

"Kennedy!" Willow scolded,smacking her across the arm. She smiled however and Kennedy mirrored her actions and shrugged.

"Just one of the many great tortorous ideas in that I have in mind for those two. Maybe I'll drown them in rotten pig guts like that one movie Saw. Oh! Oh! Or I can make a device that will go around Sammy's neck with all these little catridges and when she's within five miles of us her head will blow off and-"

"Ken!"

"What?" she asked trying to sound like she was innocent,"I'm just saying torture is a great way to-"

"Ahyyyyyyy," Willow groaned shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose, "You weren't the sunny kid in your class were you Ken baby?"

Ken grinned evily,like the cat who ate the canary.



All she knew,besides how crappy she felt,was that there was feeling of wrongness in the air,but couldn't have cared less. Sammy sighed heavily thinking of different ways to disappear. The guilt she felt was so intense she just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again.

'That's a good idea,' she thought. 'Dig hole. Crawl in. Cover head. Suffocate. Perfect.' She could concentrate on more efficient means of self distruction if she wasn't shaky...The way Faith had reacted to her touch had left her feeling dirty and horrible.

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(Spov)

Faith was smiling at me and for the first time I didn't want to see it. I knew it was fake,that she was doing it to try and save me from the trance I had been in since I'd found her. She was trying to get the shirt Kennedy gave her over her head. She kept wincing and cursing underneath her breath,and I kept staring at her bruised and cut back. It hurt so much to see her like this.

I stood up quietly,deciding to go over and help her put it on. I stood behind her,thinking she had heard me get and grabbed her wrist from behind slide the shirt up her arms. and I whispered "Faith," about to tell her I was ganna help.

"No!" she yelped in a viscious panic,twirling around so fast it was a huge blur. "Don't fucking touch me!" she screamed ,tears in her eyes and a look of pure terror and pain etched on her face. The next thing I knew I was coughing to get a breath of air as I slumped down the wall. Everything in the room was swimming and as Kennedy and Willow came in too fast,they looked like they were molded into each other.

I groaned and then I jumped to my feet thinking maybe there was something else in the room that had scared Faith. I was striding across the room and suddely Kennedy tacked me against the wall,spinning around so that she was behind me when we stood. Her arm circled my stomach painfully tight making me double over,to try and calm down,my breatheing was ereatic and I thought I was about to faint.

"Ken what are you-" she cut me off.giving me another painful squeeze. Wha the hell was her problem?

"Faith,shh calm down." I heard Willow trying to comfort her. I turned and saw Faith huddled in the corner of the room,hugging her knees and trembling,her face white and tears streaming like a massive waterfall. That set me off.

"Ken! Let me fucking go! Fuck! Faith's crying! Fucking let me go!" I pretty much freaked out,trying to pry her hand from across my belly to no avail. Faith was crying and she was holding me down,keeping me from going to her. "Fuck you Kennedy let me the fucking go!"

"SAM!"

I froze. Willow's voice hit me like a cold icy bullet and it paralyzed me. I was scared to hell as I saw her normally honey brown eyes were black as pitch,her hair as well. And she was giving me a look. I'd be damned if looks could kill. That's when it hit me. I became painfully aware of Faith's accusing eyes. And I knew why she was acting like this,and why Kennedy was holding me back. I felt myself pale,it was a sickly feeling,like your blood turning to gunk and still trying to flow through your small veins.

"No." I shook my head,"no no no no no...m-me?" I don't know why the hell I asked the question,I knew the answer. Kennedy's arm fell from around me,she must have felt the life zap out of my body. I looked to Faith,she was still crying but she looked rather pissed now but still scared.

She was broken. And when I had touched her,she felt the pain of everything that had happened two nights ago. Why was I so stupid? I had pratically snuck up on her and touched her. She probably thought I was going to hurt her. That thought alone was like a slow churning knife inside.

I shook my head incredously,my mouth slightly open,but nothing coming out but unintelligant noises and whimpers. I hurt Faith.
I noticed she was standing now,she looked half composed except for the look of guilt on her face.

"...oh god..." I said in a choked flat voice that I did not recognize as my own. "...I d-didn't mean to hurt you...I'm-I'm-I'm-," I tried swallowing back some of the ball in my throat feeling like I was about to choke on it," I'm sorry."

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Leaning aganst the brick wall of one of the downtown building,Sammy tried to keep her stomach under control, When the nausea vanished,she picked herself back up again and continued wandering the downtown sector by the beach,an area filled wiht large buildings used for storage by the smaller shipping companies that transported acoss the ocean. The air made her feel slightly better,but her stomach still sent out a shot of pain whenever she moved the wrong way,and her head pounded.

In short Sammy felt like shit and that wasn't including the hideous thoughts running through her mind.

She was probably an idiot for going out,given she was hunting vampires. But then again,self destruction required that she do something stupid. It had been two days since she'd left Kennedy's and Willow's place. Two days of walking around like a zombie,just letting her feet carry her to where ever they may lead. And now she wanted to die or hurt something. It would probably be the latter granted she had never been sick like this. Her whole body ached,her head pounded,she felt weak,and her throat felt like it had been rubbed out of existance. What was wrong with her? Figures though that she would get sick after spending two nights in the rain and cold with only an overshirt to serve as a jacket. She shivered violently,wondering how someone could be so fevered and yet so damn chilled.

This was a wharf area: there should have been rats,mice,stray cats,and other animals wandering around. There should have been owls hunting the mice,or other night birds. But there was nothing. She couldn't even hear the ocean anymore,it was absolute silence. 'I came to the right place. Death in the night in an abondoned street,almost poetic.' she thought feeling like someone was watching her.

Her head perked up like a damn german sheppard who caught a scent of weed,she whirled around,almost needing to use the lampposts and walls as support. There was a vampire. Was she really that out if ,and she couldn't sense him,or was he a master at hiding his presence?

Sammy straightened,though it pained her stomach to do so. If he was the mercy from above sent to put her out of her misery she wanted to be presentable to her savior....

"Shit..." she said unpleasurably. Definately not a vampire. "What the hell do you want?" she said in distaste. Sammy felt the numbness start to seep into her mind. She shook her head,trying to clear it,and then yelled at herself for making such a stupid mistake. The whole ground felt like it was shaking,the world spinning,and the stars darkening and then brightening. The world turned into a colorful blur,like cotton candy and rainbow sherbet blending together only a hundred times darker.

"Nothing...I was just walking by...and I felt you."

"And you decided to drop by and give me a visit? What are you ganna rape me too?!" she snarled at her.

Buffy glanced at the ground. "I'm sorry." she whispered softly.

"Don't fucking apologize to me!" Sammy darted foward,and her ankle wavered. She missed Buffy by miles,slamming against the wall. Her whole left side felt like a bruise,and her skin was cut from the sharp corners of the bricks. Whirling around,she tried not to let the swirling colors nauseate her. It wasn't quite working well. "She was just a game to you!" she panted against the wall. "You tricked her into dying! You wanted to make her life so horrible that she'd willingly go to you and practically ask you to kill her!" Her throat felt raw as she screamed out her anger.

"Sam-" Buffy began,but being caught off as Sammy did a spin kick,catching her on the chin. Her head snapped back,and she staggered back a few steps. Buffy rubbed her chin,and when she tried to kick her again,she caught her foot. He put his weight down,slamming her into the ground. Unprepared and still not even sure of where the ground was,the wind knocked out of Sammy's body,and before she recovered Buffy pounced.

Her body was heavy on hers,her knees were holding down her pelvis,her wrist held fast by her hands,and as she coughed and wheezed to regain her breath,Buffy leaned foward.

"Sam stop." her voice was pleading,begging her.

Buffy sounded truly pitiful and it made her heart beat faster and yet she froze. She knew she was angry. She could feel the burning desire to lash out and shred her flesh with her nails,aiming for the most vunerable areas.

Buffy lossened her grip,feeling Sam relent under her. Her mind started working,trying to find out the best way to speak to Sammy,and in that one moment when she dropped her guard,Sammy struck. She grabbed her shoulders and bucked her hips,and Buffy sailed over her body,landing on her back hard enough for her thoughts to momentarily become jumbled.

Rolling around in an attempt to get up,Sammy wavered on her hands and knees,but the exertion of moving too much and using energy she didn't have caught up with her. When Buffy sat up,she found her retching on all fours. She rolled over again,leaning on the wall as she breathed heavily,her eyes closed.

Sammy groaned,she hated throwing up,it always scared her having her stomach revolt and temporarily block her air as everything was forced out of her body through her mouth. She took deep breaths,trying to oxygenate her blood so that she didn't feel so bad. She opened her eyes and noticed everything was out of focus. She blinked a few times and realized she was sweating profusely. She whimpered and felt her stomach heave. She waited until her airway was clean before drawing a shaking breath,her chest heaving. Sammy wiped her mouth and felt her body heating up ,her vision bluring again.

Buffy stared on in shock. When she felt Sammy she knew something wasn't right. But this was way off and she was concerned though she shouldn't be. "Sam-"

"Fuck you Buffy!" she said,her voice full of hate as it came out through clentched teeth. She somehow managed to stand and take a few wobbly steps towards her,then she thudded into the dirt. Her sight was going in and out,fading from being able to see clearly,to having rings of greyaround the edges of her vision,to having them turn completely to black. Every imaginable part of her body screamed at her,aching and sore,her stomach and head in serious pain.

Buffy ran to her side,bending over to see her eyes glassy and dull. She kneeled,picking up Sam's upper body and cradling it. "Sam! Sam!" she shook her. She smoothed back her damp hair,her face white yet still flushed with fever. Damn was she sick.

"Get off me!" Sam shrieked bolting to her feet in a sudden rush,swaying and her back crashing into the wall."You're not fucking touching me or Faith ever again!"

Buffy felt her heart go out to the girl,but she had to stop her before she did something reckless. Buffy was up inches from her face in seconds,her arms pinning Sam's shoulders to the wall.

"Let me go Buffy!" she struggled weakly. Buffy slammed her against the side of the building.

"Stop Sam stop. Shh,stop." Buffy cooed. Sam was breaking down,her snarls were now depserate heartbreaking sobs.

"No! No! You ruined my life! You-you ruined me! I-I never did anything to you and and you ruined my life! I can't touch her I-I can't even get close to her. My touch is like fire to her...It's killing me!"

Buffy didn't say anything, trapped her between the wall and her body. Sammy struggled,but Buffy held. "I'm-"

"No. Go away.," Sam tried weakly. Struggling only half heartedly now.

"Shh," Buffy said,rubbing her hair. Sam put her head in the crook of her neck,her body slumping into Buffy's. Buffy released her wrist and wrapped her own around her waist to keep her upright. She wasn't fighting anymore,now she was just overwhelmed in her heartache,her hot tears running down her chin to land on her own neck. She had never realized how frail Sammy truly was,and now that she was here,clinging to her neck like a little kid...well it made her feel then thousand times worse because she did this.

"I hurt her..." Sam sobbed in a broken voice, "she was terrified of me. I hurt her."

"Sam? I'm taking you home. I want to talk to you,but not now." Buffy scooped her in her arms,surprised at how light she was.

"No," Sam pushed against her just a little,before her arms fell limp and her head sagged against Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy felt her own tears spilling over. What a night this had turned out to be. When she had gone out she wasn't ecpecting to run into Sam,and especially not like this. She had spent the last three days in LA and had only returned this morning after Angel convinced her that running away would only help for the time being because eventually her problems would catch up to her. She had planned on speaking to Faith first. But she'd found out through the grapevine that she was staying with Kennedy and Willow and that Sam was there as well. She hadn' felt like putting up with what she knew Sam was ganna give her.

Now this was far from the one million and one scenerios that had plauged her mind because they usually ended with one of them dead and the body stuffed in a demon barbeque pit. She would have never guessed she would now be sharing in Sammy's sorrow as she carried her bridal style towards Willow's house.

Buffy had noticed Sam a little strange eariler,but now that she was in her arms she could feel the raging fever that was settled into her and she could feel Sam trembling. What had happened? Besides the obvious...Why was her face pale and her cheeks suken in. Why so light? Why was there blood,both new and old on her clothes? What had she been doing out here in this condition in the first place? Why the hell would Willow and Kennedy allow her to go out like that?

"Guess I'll find out." she said outloud as Willow's two story white wash house came into view.

"Buffy...put me down." Sam squirmed in her arms until Buffy set her on her feet.

"At least let me support you." She said,wrapping an arm around her waist when she swayed like a boat in stormy seas. Sam was about to protest,but thought better of it and decided to rest her head on her shoulder. She felt so fucking bad.

Buffy felt Sam's ragged breatheing through her side. As careful and gently as she could she sat her down on the porch steps,moving to knock on the door when she felt Sam catch her by the hand. "Sam what is it?"

Sam shook her head,looking really sick afterwards,her glassy eyes dialating like someone was flashing a light on and off in front of her.
"You can't go in."

Buffy was about to say something but nodded and instead sat down next to her. They were quiet,the only sounds between them heavy breatheing and heavy sighs.

"I-I came to see...if there's any way to make this right." Buffy confessed softly,her eyes trained on the ground.

"You can't take back what you did to her. You nearly fucking killed her. You broke her Buffy,you fucking raped her." Sam said each word with more hate and anger,her hands clentching into fists at her sides.

"I know." Buffy said so softly that she nearly missed it.

"Then come here to break her even more? Now you wanna tell her that's spoiled goods and all that other good stuff that drives into Faith like a knife? By the way,great creativity with the word 'MURDER' on her stomach,so original." Sam's voice was quivering,her eyes filling again.

"I can't do anything to change that. But for the record,I was possessed."

Sam shot up to her feet,ignoring the pain that hit her like a train in her stomach as she did so. "So then this is about poor little Buffy being possessed?!"

"Sam-"

"Don't fucking call me that it's Sammy. And save it Buffy! Take your fucking fake excuses and shove them right up your conceited inconsiderate ass!" Sam knew her yells had already awoken Kennedy and Willow because the light in their room turned on,Faith might possibly be up as well.

Buffy looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Her old anger was starting to well up again though. "She fucking hurt me first!"

Sam swung her right fist,catching Buffy across the jaw. It was a pretty hard hit,it knocked her across the balcony,making her smash into Willow's bike. The next thing she knew she was on top of Buffy raining hard punches on her face. Buffy shot her hands up,covering her face from the assult.

"Hey!" Buffy heard someone shout. She recoginized the voice as Kennedy's. Seconds later finding herself being dragged up and held onto to tightly by Willow. Sammy was crying furiously,trying to break free off Kennedy. Ken tightened her grip on her shoulders and she stopped,like someone had just flipped the switch to off. Rolling on her feet she fell back against Kennedy,holding her head in her hands and sobbing.

Buffy looked on watching Ken's face fall off . She was pretty shocked so it seemed. "Willow-"

"What are you doing here Buffy?" Willow asked,releasing her. Buffy looked at her friend with contempt,she was going to side with Sam on this one,she could tell by the way Williow glanced at her in concern.

"Nothing." Buffy sighed,jamming her hands into her pockets,"I was just heading home." She took the few steps to the sidewalk on the grass,then continued down the pavement until she reached the corner and took a turn,disappearing seconds later.

"Babe?" Willow heard Kennedy call out to her.

"I think she's really sick." Ken said sounding green herself.

"Why?"

"Look." Kennedy answered pointing. Sammy was doubled over by the bushes,retching dryly. Ken turned away,looking like she was about to puke herself. Willow watched Sam choke over for several minutes before she gave a shaky sigh and let herself fall to her knees holding her stomach and burying her head between her knees.

Willow motioned for Ken to help her,and Kennedy followed,squating down to be face to face with Sam. She had this weird look in her eyes,something wild and untamed and raw. Ken rubbed small circles on her back,but kept ready to defend herself if need be.

"We should go inside." Willow's voice cut through the silence sharply. Ken lifted Sammy to her feet,holding her steady while she teetered.
She was about to carry her but Sam made her own way into the house

,"yeah...we should." she said indifferently,with as much feeling as a rock. She swung the door open,heading straight for upstairs which caused Kennedy to yell at her.

"Oh no you don't! Get back down here Sam!" Sam stopped on the steps,but didn't look at her,Ken sounded rather angry.

"Kennedy," Willow began but was silenced by a little look that could have killed if she had been a witch instead of a slayer.

"No Wills. She goes all comatose kitty on us,then decides to run away for a bit when find her she's wailing on Buffy and sick as a dog. And now she's back to square one and heading upstairs when her room is here. Iwant some fucking explanation or something before my head flies off!"

"It's self explanatory." Sam said evenly,once again starting up the stairs.

"So help me god if you walk away Sam!" Ken threatened with an edge to her voice that sealed the threat.

Sam whirled on her, "What do you want Kennedy?!" her voice was raw from retching and screaming. "What the hell do you want me to say? Tell me and I'll tell you. I can't deal with this,I can't handle this anym-"

"Well stop right there princess because I have a news flash for you. The world isn't fucking fair and you need to get your head into gear instead of making matters worse. You think you have it bad just because your girlfriend pushed you this shit happens everyday with everyone in a relationship and if you can't fucking deal you shouldn't have gotten in in the first place! Cry me a fucking river and get over it cause Faith is still alive and that's what should matter here."

Sam shook her head sadly, "What if Oz decided to come back and rape Willow?" the room fell deathly silent. "If he decided to come in and break her?...You don't know what's going on Kennedy," she took the remaining steps to the top and leaned heavily on the rail. "And I pray to god that you won't ever know. I'm thankful Faith's alive and that is what matters,so don't waste your breath, I'm- I'm" she sighed, "I'll be up here." she pointed to the door behind her.

Willow waited until the clicking of the shutting door to speak. "Ken...you shouldn't have done that. You need to give her time to get over the shock first of all. And she's sick and-"

"I know Wills. I'm just worried that's all." Kennedy mutterted,falling back onto the couch,covering her face with her hands.

Willow went around the sofa and hugged her from behind,laying her head on her shoulder,"I'm know you're scared babe. But we just have to see how things fall,you know? Give them time. I can't believe what would happen if something like that happened to you. We just have to give them time."

"Thank you." Ken turned her head at an angle,giving Willow a small but heartfelt kiss. "What are the chances we can get Faith to go up there and convince her to go to a doctor? She's really sick,she was burning up."

"You got me there. Lets just wait til the morning."


In her room,Faith had heard everything. She'd been worried sick when Sammy hadn't returned on the first night after she freaked out in the bedroom. She could picture clearly the way Sam's face looked when she had said sorry and left the room. She had been to freaked out to do anything but in her head she had been screaming for her to come back,that it wasn't her,that it was her own insecurities. But she didn't follow after her,she was too shaken. And after that Sammy had simply disappeared for two days. She had tried more than once to go out and look for her,but Ken and Willow were like watchdogs from hell. Snapping whenever they saw her even think about the door.
She would have crawled out through a window,but she was way too banged up to even stand,much less jump. Besides,she probably would have only made it to the front yard before dying from blood loss and pain.

But now Sam was here. She had to make things right between them. After all that she had done,Sammy still accepted her and loved her. What more could a girl want than someone like Sammy. So she waited until she heard Willow and Kennedy leave into their room,then she creeped out and upstairs into the room Sammy was in.


(Fpov)

So here it is. Time to stop being a coward and hurting the only person that's ever loved me. At first I thought Sam was just a happy little fruitfly,with her sheepish grins and lazy smiles. I thought she was Buffy number 2 and all. But even then I knew she was different. The way she jumped in to defend me from Buffy even though at the time she didn't even know me. I guess she sensed how troubled I was. After having that conversation on the balcony I knew she was definately not another Buffy,but not another me. She was in the middle,somewhere in between. I immediately felt attracted to her,but never in a million years would I have thought that she was the person who was going to save me,and not just from demons and vampires,but from myself as well. Sam's been unconditional in her love and she's done nothing but being there for me. And I don't know how she can want spoiled goods like me when she could have pratically anyone else in the world,but it's time I start giving back. It's ganna take some time,like Willow said,bu I get the feeling Sam would wait forever if needed be.

Closing the door quietly I turn and see her on the bed covered to her neck in the blanket,curled up in the fetal position and facing away from me. Thanks to my slayer I can hear her shallow breatheing,and I can see her shaking. I feel like my insides are being rolled around in broken glass and nails. I make way to the bed,limping like a lame man. Leaning over I see her flushed and sweat covered face,her eyes are tiny slits,but I can tell they're open. Supporting my weight on my hands,I lean over and place my mouth next to her ear.

"Sam?" I whisper very softly that I start to wonder if she heard me. Pulling the blanket back I slip in beside her,spooning her body with my own and wrapping my arm around her waist,burying my face into her neck. God she's hot! I shudder,her skin in searing to the touch and sleek with sweat,but she's shaking and wrapped up in the blanket. Why did I let things get so out of hand?

"...fa..ith?" I hear her weak little voice,I look over her shoulder but she hasn't moved so I think that maybe I imagined it. "...I'm sorry...for hurting you."

A lump the size of a baseball forms in my throat. And I can't speak. I bury my face back in the crook between her neck and shoulder. Her body tensesinstantly and she curls up a little bit more. Reaching over her chest with my other hand I grab her hot clamy hand and interlace our fingers,my hand cupping hers. I feel her relax a bit. God she's burning up! I feel like I'm hugging a pile of flaming embers to myself.

"...faith?" she asks quietly,sounding very unsure,like in a panic or something,as if trying to figure out if I'm really there.

"I'm right here." I breathe into her neck.

"That's...good." her voice is groggy and harsh.

For a few minutes I lay there,feeling her heartbeat on my chest through her back. I'm starting to sweat a little myself from being so close to her,but I don't mind. I could stay like this forever. Sighing,I close my eyes, feeling really tired and sore all of a sudden. I squirm a little, nudging the back of Sam's neck until I find a comfortable spot against her. I'm still spooning her body,and I'm still holding her hand,our fingers locked together.

"I love you." I whisper and close my eyes and already I can feel myself drifting off. I don't know if I imagined it or not,but I'm pretty sure that before I completely blank I hear her soft voice.

"you can't love me..."