Mbwa Mwitu

Chapter Summary: The events from within the Initiative are told from Tara's point of view. Xander reacts and Oz was suppose to wake up, but decided not to. Thus, the rating is justified instead.


Tara was quiet for a long time, her hands twisting in her lap. Xander's body was tense, pressed against her side. Almost as though he was afraid of what she would say. She had to admit to herself that she was afraid as well. Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke.

"Riley had led us into a trap." She informed him. "With no place to go, our only option was to move forward. I... I had taken Riley's gun previously and placed it in my belt. What I did next was wrong, I know this. But, I barely had control of my actions at that point. Something, from inside me, had taken over. I was running on pure instinct and therefore I was prepared to do anything to keep Spike and I alive. I pulled out the gun and shot Riley in the head."

"Oh my God." Xander whispered, his voice filled with shock. Tara gave him a shaky smile.

"Yes, it's quite the shock." Tara drew in a deep breath. "I want to feel sorry for killing him, as well as what happened next. But... Perhaps I'm a horrible person, I don't know... All I know is that I don't regret it."

"It's okay." Xander said, his voice uncertain. Tara knew that he couldn't think of anything else to say. In order to save him the grief, she continued.

"I pulled on every magical reserve I had, tapping into energy that I didn't know existed." Tara gave a weak chuckle. "It was a bit of a thrill. I could feel everything in the room. The electricity in the computers, the anger within the soldiers, and Spike's never ending pain from not being near you. I sent a charge of energy toward the security panels, literally blasting them into nothing. Spike fought as hard as he could. I was so thankful at that moment that I had deactivated the chip before we had gone inside. You should have seen him, Xander. He fought like a blazing fire."

"It is a nice sight, isn't it?" Xander replied, softly.

"It is." Tara agreed. "...More soldiers arrived and I used the last of my strength to fight them off. Spike was shot down and I was growing weak. I managed to contact Wesley via a temporary link before crumbling. I was shocked by a tazor, rendering me unconscious. Then..." Tara's voice caught in her throat. "When I awoke next I was in a cell. I could sense Spike across the hall from me. But, at that time, I couldn't take the time to find out where we were or how many injuries we have sustained."

"What happened?" Xander asked, literally bracing himself for the answer.

"I didn't know it could be that painful." Tara whispered, closing her eyes tightly. As she spoke, she could almost feel the event happening once again. "Willow and I... We never really did anything like that, so..." Xander's arm tightened around her shoulders. Instead of making her feel confined, his embrace seemed to comfort her. "There were four of them. I fought them, but I couldn't use any magic. I was too weak... They held me down and... They didn't need to rip my skirt or destroy my shirt, but they did anyway. It's funny... But I'm almost more upset about that than anything else."

"That's why you had the bruise on your ankle and hip." Xander said, though it seemed more to himself than Tara. "That's why everyone looked so happy that I couldn’t smell you... Isn't it? If I had my sense of smell back I would be able to... I would be able to smell them on you, wouldn't I?"

"Yes." Tara replied. Her eyes burned, as though she wanted to cry but couldn't. She let out a dry sob, the sound wrenching from her throat painfully. Xander pulled her toward him, wrapping both arms around her and resting his cheek against her head. She buried her face into his chest, feeling comfort and safety wash over her.

"I promise you, Tara." Xander growled fiercely. "I will not let them get away with this."

"I don't..." Tara pulled back in order to look up at Xander. His eyes held an expression of such hatred she nearly flinched away, but caught herself just in time. "I don't want anymore bloodshed, Xander. Please."

"I can't, Tara. I can't let this go unpunished." Xander informed her, his eyes nearly glowing a ring of green. Tara didn't say anything, before giving a small nod.

"But..." She gulped. "I think that they were ordered-"

"What?" Xander exclaimed.

"It's just... Something the leader was saying as they left." Tara said, her voice low. "They were talking about some... Professor. I can't exactly remember her name, but... I got the impression that she had ordered them to do it."

"That's not an excuse, Tara." Xander said softly.

"I know, but..." Tara closed her eyes again briefly. "I'm just trying to understand."

"I know." Xander took a deep breath. "I should... Well, get back downstairs and see if Spike is okay. Will you be alright?"

"Yeah." Tara nodded. "I need to take a shower, anyway."

Xander nodded, before crawling off the bed. His back was ram-rod stiff as he walked out of the room, shutting the door gently behind him. He paused in the hallway, taking another deep breath. He managed to calm himself down enough to head back downstairs, toward the lobby. It appeared that the doctors were already gone. Wesley had been moved, though where Xander didn't know. Oz remained on the sofa, now in a light sleep. Xander glanced briefly at his wounds, which appeared to be nearly healed.

Sighing, Xander walked over to the love seat that Spike was sitting on. The vampire hadn't bothered to put his shirt back on. As Xander approached, Spike looked up and met his eyes. Spike's mouth formed a thin line when he noted the expression on Xander's face. Xander shook his head slightly, indicating that he didn't want to talk about it just yet. Then, feeling far too tired, he sat down next to his mate.

"Where's Tara?" Spike asked after a moment of uneasy silence.

"Taking a shower." Xander replied. Xander crossed his arms, feeling the pain shoot through his re-stitched wounds without acknowledging it. "She told me."

"I gathered as much." Spike said. Spike glanced over at him and reached over to take Xander's hand in his own. "Why aren't you screaming or making a fuss?"

"I don't want to wake Oz or make Tara worry." Xander replied. "Why aren't you?"

"I'm still trying to wrap my mind around everything that's happened thus far, love." Spike admitted. "Everything... It's almost too much, you know? The Slayer is dead, my chip no longer works, you can't smell, the pup was skinned alive and is now re-growing that skin, and Tara... Rape was never something I was fond of, as a vampire. I never understood it and I still can't."

"But you want to get them back." Xander said.

"More than anything." Spike agreed.

"She thinks they were ordered by some professor." Xander informed him. "Can you recall any other scent in the hall?"

"It's hard to say." Spike replied. "I was so focused-"

"Try." Xander ordered, growling slightly. "Those soldiers could have already been scattered across America by now, depending on how fast they got out of the Initiative or if they got out at all. But her? It'll probably take her a bit longer. We can at least get her."

"Are you sure she's an actual she?" Spike asked.

"No, but try anyway." They were quiet for a long time, as Spike fought for his mind to cooperate. Xander's leg began to bounce, his emotions growing stronger with each second. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to maintain the calm that had veiled his mind much longer.

"Lilies." Spike suddenly said. "There was a faint trace of lilies. I didn't really pay much attention to it. In fact, I associated it with Tara's scent, but that's wrong. Tara's is of-"

"Lavender." Xander finished. Spike nodded. "I know who it was."

"Who? How?" Spike demanded as Xander stood up.

"The woman who did most of the experiments on me." Xander said. "Her name was Professor Walsh."

"Wait." Spike stood as well, following Xander out of the Hyperion and into a small garden that resided in the back. It was still night out side, the moon high in the sky and growing smaller with each passing night. "Walsh. That name sounds familiar."

"All the time you spent in Giles' tub, you should remember." Xander said bitterly. "She was Buffy and Willow's psychology teacher."

"So that's it, then. We find this Walsh bitch and string her colon across the bloody school." Spike announced.

"We'll have to wait until tonight." Xander replied, grinding his teeth. "It's nearing morning."

"Fuck." Spike hissed. "There's no telling where she'll run to in a day."

"We'll worry about it when we get there." Xander said, his voice sounding forced. "In fact, I'll call Willow later and ask her to keep an eye on her."

"Good." Spike nodded and glanced over at Xander's form. Xander's hands were clenched tightly, his head bowed. Spike was caught with the temptation to walk toward him, but common sense made him take a step back. "Pet?"

"It's not fair." Xander breathed, before thrashing out and punching a nearby pillar. The cement cracked from Xander's strength, but wasn't nearly as damaged as Spike knew his mate's fingers to be. "It's not fucking fair!"

"No, it's not." Spike agreed, trying to keep a lid on his own anger.

"Those fucking bastards." Xander growled, grabbing a hold of a wooden bench and throwing it across the garden. Spike heard it crash, wood splintering.

"They are." Spike said, softly. Xander spun around, glaring at him with eyes that glowed with a faint ring of green.

"Stop being so goddamned reasonable!" Xander snapped.

"What? Do you want to me to freak out?" Spike asked, his frustration rising. "Do you want me to bloody well throw a fit and destroy half of this hotel? Because I feel like doing that right now, pet!"

"Then do it!" Xander literally screamed, moving toward him. "Show some emotion, Spike! Stop trying to hold it all in! I know you're angry, I feel it radiating off of you. I can no longer scent it in the air, but I know you're upset. So why don't you do something about it?"

"Because I want to stay sane, alright!" Spike growled. "I want to make sure I have a level head, because I know you need to get this off your fucking chest! It's hardly reasonable-"

"Oh, don't pull that reasonable shit on me." Xander interrupted, stepping closer until he was forcing Spike to step backward. Spike's back hit the wall as Xander hovered over him. When Xander spoke next, he voice was softer but still filled with unleashed fury. "You're being far too calm, Spike. I can't help but wonder if you're my mate and not some imposter."

"I just..." Spike trailed off, taking in a deep breath and smelling Xander's scent in the process. "I'm just trying to protect you, love."

Xander stared at him a moment, before taking the final step that brought their bodies flush against one another. Xander's mouth attacked Spike's, his tongue grazing across Spike's lower lip. Spike let out a grunt, parting his lips and taking in Xander's tongue.

It was as though a torrent of emotion had been released. Xander pressed Spike hard against the wall, his hand trailing along Spike's sides in an attempt to touch and feel everything. Their kiss became fierce and violent, teeth biting and tongue invading the recess of each other's mouths. Xander growled low in his throat as his nails raked across Spike's bare chest, causing the vampire to gasp into his mouth.

Spike's hands came up, grabbing at Xander's shirt and, in the midst of the moment, ripping it down the front. Xander shrugged off the remains of the cloth. Their chest touched, flesh against flesh. Xander's mouth slid from Spike's, across his cheek and down to his neck were it latched on with teeth and suction. Spike's body hummed with pleasure, his hips rolling forward to meet Xander's.

"Pants. Down." Xander growled, his voice sounding primal.

Spike reached forward and quickly unzipped Xander's pants, pushing the material as well as his boxers down. Xander did the same with Spike's jeans, stroking Spike's erection as he did so. Their pants bunched up around their ankles, but it was barely noticed as their need was far too great.

Xander dived back down for another kiss, pressing his body against Spike's and producing a low moan from both of them. Spike's hands trailed down Xander's back, until they reached his buttocks. Squeezing the flesh in his hands, Spike nibbled at Xander's lower lip. Xander growled deeply, one of his hands slipping around to tease at the cleft of Spike's ass. Spike moved on to nibble at Xander's ear, before suddenly finding himself being twisted around. He managed not to fall as his jeans tangled around his ankles, his hands finding purchase on the wall before him.

Behind him, Xander was biting down on his neck lightly, as Xander's cock brushed across his ass. Spike let out a low moan, fighting down the urge to beg. Xander's hands were tracing the curve of Spike's back, before splitting into different directions. One reached around to gripping Spike's cock firmly. The other slid upwards until a finger was stroking lightly at Spike's lower lip.

Spike parted his lips, allowing two of Xander's fingers inside. He sucked gently at them, feeling Xander's panting chest pressed against his back. Using his tongue, he slicked the fingers with saliva before releasing them with an audible slurp. Xander's hand disappeared, the other still teasing his cock. Spike braced himself as a wet digit brushed across him. It teased at his opening, before working it's way inside.

The frantic pace that had began the session suddenly flared up once again. The second finger entered Spike, scissoring enough to keep him from getting damaged, before both fingers were pulled out. As the head of Xander's cock began to ease it's way inside, Spike had to force himself to relax. His forehead pressed against the cool side of the building as Xander fully entered him. There was a pause in all movement, with Xander's hot breath brushing against the back of Spike's neck.

Then, Xander began to move. It wasn't gentle, despite Xander's soft caresses and small kisses on his shoulder between each sharp thrust. Spike was fully aware that Xander was simply feeling at that moment and, as his own anguished emotions began to fade, understood. Spike had no choice but to find a way to grip the wall as Xander's thrust pushed him towards it. Pleasure, laced with a minor amount of pain, shot through Spike's body.

Xander's mouth once again latched onto Spike's neck, teeth biting down on the sensitive flesh. Xander's hand was griping Spike's cock, stroking it with the same rhythm that he thrust into Spike's willing body. It didn't take long for them both to reach climax. Soon their hoarse cries of completion could be heard across the garden.

*****

Angel let out an annoyed sound as the evidence of Spike and Xander's love making reached his nose. He glanced across the room at Doyle, who was standing on one of the library's chairs in order to reach a book on the top shelf. In the corner, Wesley had been lain on a soft love seat that, up until that point, Angel had felt there was no use for.

"Are you sure you didn't get a good look at the demon that did this?" Gunn demanded, slamming his book shut and rubbing at his eyes. "Because I'm not finding anything, man."

"Look, we already told you, yeah?" Doyle replied, hopping off the chair and returning to Angel's side. "We didn't see it."

"What about Tara or those other guys?" Gunn asked.

"I didn't see it." Tara's soft voice informed them. She stood at the library's doorway, shuffling nervously on her feet. "Xander was closest to the elevator door."

"Well, I'll go ask him-" Gunn started.

"No!" Angel, Doyle, and Tara yelled out at the same time. Tara flushed bright red.

"That's not a good idea at the present time." Angel said, raising an eyebrow.

"Fine!" Gunn snapped, before muttering under his breath about horny vampires and their mates.

"Tara?" Doyle asked. "Did you need something?"

"Umm, yes." Tara said. "I was hoping you could direct me towards a shower? There wasn't one in the room me and Xander were in."

"I'll show you." Doyle replied, standing. Angel watched them leave, before glancing back at Gunn. The human was staring at the table, his eyes occasionally darting over to check on Wesley. With a sigh, Angel turned to his next book.