Introductions

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Part 17

"Only six more hours, guys," Elliot said with a smile as he steered around a slow-moving Buick. "Anyone want to stop? I think I saw a sign saying there was food up ahead..."

Robert swallowed hard, his stomach rumbling even while he felt nauseated at the idea of eating. "I... no, thanks. I'm fine."

Trevor's eyes met Elliot's in the rear view mirror and he shook his head. It had been difficult to get Robert to eat since the rape but he knew the boy had to be hungry. Hell, with all the emotional distress the young blond was obviously feeling, his body had to be demanding sustenance. "I could go for a burger or something, baby," Trevor announced.

Elliot smiled at his lover in the mirror. "Cool. I think it's maybe another ten miles or so."
He pretended to think about it then grinned more. "Maybe they'll have some pasta. I could go for some carbs. Maybe some spaghetti bolognaise or something." And seeing as Robert liked pasta a good bit, there was some hope that talking about it would get the young man to admit he was actually hungry.

"Oh... yeah. I think... didn't the sign say there was a Sbarro somwhere?" Trevor arched a brow teasingly, sure Elliot was still looking at him even though he'd sat back in the tiny back seat of Robert's car.

And that deserved a snort, Elliot admitted. "Love... there is no WAY we're doing fast food Italian. If we're going to do it, we'll do it right." He nodded sharply, swerving just a bit as another car cut him off.

Robert sighed. He appreciated everything the two men were going through for him, but... he didn't see how it was going to help. They couldn't change what had happened, and... the dreams were haunting him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Ricky again. Felt him... touching him. Fucking him. Heard his voice, telling him what a tight little bitch he was, how glad he was that Robert liked it.

He was almost starting to believe it.

Maybe he HAD liked it. After all, he'd bent over for Paul more than once and that had been just about as romantic as... what had happened. Maybe he'd even asked for it, like the latest dream said. And if that was true, then... he really was as dirty as he felt and there was no chance that anyone-- even Trevor and Elliot-- could make him clean again. Far better if he just... faded, and fading would be easier if he didn't eat. He'd simply... lose himself and then be gone and... he wouldn't see Ricky in his dreams anymore.

"What?" he asked, giving Elliot a sickly grin, "Sorry. I was... thinking."

"I said... how does some baked ziti sound? Or some chicken parmesan?"

Robert shrugged, determined to ignore the hunger clenching his stomach like a fist. "If you like. I'm not really hungry."

Trevor frowned and shook his head. He knew that wasn't true. The young blond had hardly eaten at all since they'd left Tulsa. "Garlic bread would be good," he tried, one hand finding Robert's shoulder as it reached over the back of the passenger seat. He frowned when the slight touch made the younger man cringe.

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"What the hell do we do now, El?" Trevor demanded despairingly as he watched Robert walk towards the restroom. "He's not eating, he's barely sleeping... and he's for damned sure not talking to either of us! I... FUCK, baby, we can't.. lose him!"

His eyes closed sadly and Elliot nodded. "I know, Trev... but we can't FORCE him to do any of those things. I... maybe if he could actually get some rest for once, but he keeps waking up screaming and..." He sighed. "I don't know. I'd say we should drug him just so he could relax but... he's been violated enough."

The brunette frowned then sighed as well. "Yeah... I just feel so..." he shrugged.

"Helpless," Elliot finished for him. "And I do too, baby... but maybe once we get there and it's just the three of us...? Maybe he'll be able to... find his balance. Find who he is again." His brow furrowed some. "Or figure out who he is NOW, anyway."

"Gods, I hope so. It's... shit, El, it hurts to see him like this. I just... want to make him better and I know I can't and..." he released another sigh, this one frustrated and sad.

Elliot reached across the table, his hand pressing down onto his lover's. "I know, Trev... I know. I feel the same way. And it doesn't help anything that I really REALLY want to make love to you... to lose some of this... pain in you, love... and feel joy again." He blushed.

Trevor blushed just as much and nodded. "Yeah... I... that would be..." He frowned. "Kind of insensitive to HIM, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah. It would. So we... won't." Elliot swallowed hard and pulled his hand back, then turned a bright smile to Robert as he returned looking slightly shaken. "Darlin'... what's wrong?"

Robert shrugged and sat back down... then burst into silent tears.

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"Shhh... it's okay, darlin'," Elliot murmured nearly forty-five minutes later as he rubbed the younger blond's back gently in the motel room they'd gotten just a few hundred feet down the road from the restaurant.

"N-no..." Robert shivered, his voice barely a whisper. "I... I could feel him, Elliot... when I tried to... go. I... I FELT him and it..." He shivered again. "Why can't it just stop? I... I want it to STOP!"

"I know... I know, darlin'. And it will." Elliot nodded, kissing the rumpled hair softly. "It's just... gonna take a while. But I'm here, Robert. Trevor's here. We're not going anywhere, okay?"

"W-why?" Robert asked, whispering again. "You're b-both so... good a-and pure and... and I'm so..." he shuddered and shook his head.

"Beautiful," Elliot finished for him. "You're beautiful, Robert. And strong and smart... we... God, darlin', I don't want to scare you. You've been through enough already, but..." He abruptly changed his mind about what he was saying. The young man wouldn't be able to handle knowing how much they wanted him. Not yet.

"But you'll get through it, darlin'," he said instead, "And we're gonna help, okay? Because we... we like you, Robert. We want to see you happy again. See you smile."

And it was just as he'd thought, Robert admitted silently. Even if Elliot had wanted him once, which that one long, deep kiss had seemed to imply all those months ago... he didn't anymore. Why should he, after all?

Finally the young man nodded, a long shaking passing through him just before he relaxed a little. "I... I'm sorry. I'm being such a baby."

Elliot had to laugh a bit. "No, darlin'. You're handling this much better than I did. And you WILL be okay one day. But you need to stop starving yourself. Neither your mind nor your body can heal without fuel, right?"

A deep sigh then Robert nodded. "Alright, I'll... eat when I'm hungry. I... I promise."

The older blond stroked short hair lightly and smiled. "Thank you, darlin'. I'm gonna hold you to that." His smile got larger as he heard the key in the door lock. "It's just Trev, baby," he whispered, not wanting the boy to be frightened. "I'm sure he's got that ice you wanted."

If his answering smile was a bit forced and looked more like a grimace, at least Elliot hadn't pointed it out.

Neither did Trevor when he stepped into the room and locked the door behind him.
"Guess what?" he said, trying to sound cheerful. "That Italian place delivers here, so... since we didn't really eat before..." He shrugged and put the ice bucket on the small table in the corner.

And since he'd promised, Robert let himself look a little bit interested. "Did... didn't you say something about garlic bread while we were in the car?"

Trevor blinked then grinned hugely. "Yeah. We got some of that, baby. It should be here in a few minutes."

The young man nodded and sat up straighter on the bed, finally releasing the older blond. "I should... wash my face or something. I must look... horrible."

They watched him move to the bathroom, shutting them out.

Trevor sighed. "Do you think he'll actually eat, El?"

Elliot smiled and got up, kissing his lover slowly. "Mmmm... I made him promise," he admitted in a whisper. "I can't swear to how MUCH he'll eat, but... he's a man of his word, love."

"So are we... and we WILL bring him back. Right?"

"Definitely, Trev... or at least bring him to a place where what happened to him isn't all he is."

"Good." Trevor smiled slightly, his brown gaze locked on Elliot's blue. "Because that's NOT what he is. He's ours, baby. We just..."

"Need him to be well enough to understand it and accept it. It'll come, Trev. Some day."
And with that they'd have to be satisfied... for the moment.

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(A/N: Thanks to Dani (*grins*) and catsim (yes, the one(s) who did that to poor Robert WILL pay. No worries. *huge smirk*) for the reviews! Always love hearing that people are reading! More soon... tomorrow, possibly, depending on how long I'm stuck at work. LOL)