3 Inches

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Chapter 17

Tara wakes up first. There is a cool, pale foot on her shoulder. She sits up and looks at the unfamiliar surroundings. Ah, Xander’s apartment. The sun shines into the living room, the curtain isn’t fully closed, but there is no danger to Spike here in the bed.

That first long eye contact yesterday evening had finally been broken by Xander who fled to the bathroom. Spike had looked at Tara who smiled at him supportively. He shrugged and ate another a slice of Xander’s Pizza who, of course, noticed it when he came back and the name calling started. With it, a lot of laughter filled the air. Spike and Xander entertained Tara, mocking each other vividly while (for an bystander obviously) flirting with each other. There is so much familiarity to their banter; Tara wonders why they’d never noticed before.

Since the TV stood in the bedroom, they’d wandered over there after the meal and watched some stupid comedy shows. The stress-free entertainment, laughter and light-hearted banter had done all of them good. Their full to bursting bellies had soon made them all tired and finally they’d fallen asleep on the bed together. Stranger things have happened... really.

Tara nearly can’t suppress the laughter when she looks at the other part of the bed. Spike has curled into Xander’s body, his head under Xander’s chin. Xander has in turn put his arms around the vampire, one long leg stretched over Spike’s. They were just too cute.

Spike wakes up when he notices Tara’s warm hand putting his foot under the blanket. He decides to continue feigning to be asleep. He doesn’t want to leave the warm embrace of Xander’s body. Too soon Xander is going to wake anyway and he bets the boy’s going to throw him out in full panic mode.

Tara leaves the bed, grabs a bag in the living room, then goes to the bathroom. Minutes later, the shower springs to life and he can hear her muffled sobs. He feels for her, he’s experienced all kinds of heartache himself already and it’s really nothing you would wish someone like Tara go through at all. Seeing her suffer makes him want to console her. Just like seeing Xander makes him want to fuck him, have him. He feels his cock stirring with these thoughts and sighs. Xander groans in his sleep, disturbed. Not long and he’ll wake, just a few more minutes.

After making herself halfway presentable, Tara comes back into the living room and sees Xander groggily move his hand to Spike’s hair, fingering the short strands before opening his eyes with a start.

Spike enjoys the short moment of cuddling before Xander fully wakes up. Xander’s heart runs a thousand miles a minute. Spike hesitates, should he “wake up” too or keep on faking sleep. Better to keep still and silent – even if he inwardly cringes from this cowardice.

A man is in his double bed. Could happen, he doesn’t have a couch and the bed is big enough. His hand is tangled in short blond hair. Could happen, he likes blond, could be any girl’s hair. Somebody is curled into his body. Could happen, could be any girl’s body. Except it isn’t.
Spike, a very manly vampire is in his bed and he’s got his hand in Spike’s hair and it’s Spike’s strong, sexy, undead body his arms are wrapped around.
Whoever said “deal with a situation you can’t deal with one fact after another” has never, ever been in such a situation!!!

At least, they aren’t naked and he doesn’t feel sticky and hey, Tara was there, too. He remembers that much. Good. Three friends sharing a bed, no big deal at all. Everything’s great. He’s even done that with Willow and Buffy once. Wow, he’d had hundreds of wicked fantasies after that. Just why isn’t he cuddled up to Tara? And why is Spike cuddling with him? And why does he like it? He could cry, really cry over so much betrayal. His own body is betraying him by liking this, this... cuddling with Spike!

He remembers Tara’s words from the evening before: It doesn’t matter who you love, it’s the love that matters. Just great, she’s got an evil plan, trying to set him up! But Spike is a demon, he is undead, and he is a man – isn’t it weird, that the manly parts are only placed third in the panic-scale?

It’s not that bad, really. You can have a lot of fun with a man. At least, millions of girls and women chose a man to be with, they can’t all be wrong, can they? A man doesn’t want to talk relationship in the middle of the night or after sex. Oh, sex, he’s not entirely sure how that’s supposed to work. He can imagine the kissing part - but where does he leave his hands if there aren’t boobs to seek out? He’s gotta ask Spike --- actually, that is the last thing he wants to talk with Spike about.

Slowly, but not unkindly, Xander untangles himself from Spike. All the time he keeps his eyes shut. He doesn’t need even more proof of how sexy bedhair!Spike is.
At a secure distance with his feet on the floor and his back to Spike, he can open his eyes and greet the day. Tara is in the living room, watching him curiously. He wants to say good morning to her, but “I am not freaking.” is what comes out of his mouth. Tara smiles her big, understanding smile. “Of course not. There’s nothing to freak out about.”
“There isn’t?” Puzzled, Xander stares at her.
“You fell asleep. You’re not responsible for what your body does when you sleep.”
“Right!” He grins. “My body is responsible, not me.”

Faking sleep is getting harder and harder for Spike over the conversation of Xander and Tara, he bites his lip to prevent himself from chuckling.

“Yeah, your subconscious is in control of your body and tries to fulfil the wishes and desires you deny yourself when awake.”
“Yes, my subconscious has all the control, making me do things I don’t allow myself to do when awake... hey! That is not a good thing!” Xander stares at the giggling Tara. “That is not fair. You’re an evil girl, Tara!” With that, he - half joking, half in earnest - flees from the living room into the bathroom. Why are things so complicated? Or better, why is it so hard to admit certain things to oneself?

“You’re a mean girl, Glinda.” Spike says, as soon as Xander leaves the room. Tara smiles cheekily. “Thought you were asleep.”
“Of course you did.” He grins, not taking her seriously. “Harris’ getting his knickers all in a twist over some bit of man on man snogging.”
“Guess William felt the same... confusion about it once upon a time.” Tara replies and keeps on smiling evenly. Spike swallows hard on being brought back to a series of memories he’d buried deeply inside him. In addition, he is shocked that Tara has so efficiently shut him up and made him understand what Harris is going through this moment.

“Ah, bloody hell. It’s not as it was then. Liking a bloke was... unthinkable. You couldn’t meet a girl without some stupid chaperone. William was, I was, we’ve been stupidly romantic – Angelus taught us what’s what.”
“But you’ve been a demon – you didn’t mind the...” Tara trails off when Spike’s expression hardens.
“I am still a demon, nothing’s gonna change that.” Spike jumps up from the bed, his inner turmoil obvious. He shrugs on his duster. “Rape and torture isn’t anything a demon enjoys - if it’s done to it.” He makes to leave, carefully avoiding the sunlight in the living area of the room, when Xander comes back.

“Where’re you going.”
“Out.”
“Geez... sunlight?”
“Sewer entry in that work space of yours.”
“You’ll be back?”
“Not my friggin’ mom you are.”
“Why do I care anyway? It’s not like you’re worth it, is it?” Xander shrugs, not able to keep his disappointment of Spike leaving from making ugly words come out of his mouth.

Without another word Spike stalks down the stairs, swallowing repeatedly to get the mix of anger, disappointment and hurt down his throat that’s making his eyes sting. Finally, at the sewer entrance he rips open the lid and jumps in it and for a moment he feels like Jesus when he found out he could walk on water. Then the absolute frustration catches up with him and releases itself in a primal growl from the depth of his chest.

Broum sees the vampire hovering over the open entrance of the sewer tunnel and flinches at the growl that rises from the vampire. He’s still William the Bloody and, for him as a demon, a real threat. The chip wouldn’t prevent any damage. However, he never counted himself a coward, so he speaks: “Nothing comes in, nothing gets out. It’s a spell to prevent us, this, from damage.”

“Lift it!”
“Can’t. Had someone set it up. You’ll have to wait until nightfall if you don’t wanna burn.”
“Is that William?” Garld yells from the shop and comes through the door only seconds later. “Oh William – why don’t you stay here for a while – I have so many questions. Oh, I got some blood for you, too.”

Just barely, Spike catches himself before remembering how Broum and Garld had taken him in and supported Xander. He can’t go anywhere anyway and it’s his chance to get away from Xander and Glinda for a while since both of them think he’s gone already.

“You don’t happen to have some booze, too?” He grins and goes over to Garld, then puts an arm around her. “William the bloody at your service.”

Broum grins and follows them into the shop.