Was It Always Like This?

Chapter 15

Willow was pacing in the living room as Buffy sat on the armchair watching her. “Ooh you could toss a coin?” she suggested.

Willow turned to look at her and shrugged. “I’m getting to the point where I think if the decision is this hard to make maybe it wasn’t meant to be” she sank onto the sofa and stared at her friend.

They both slouched in their respective seats, at a loss how to continue a conversation that seemed to spiral into the same old arguments for and against. Buffy was the first to react as the front door banged open and Giles strode into the living room, she was on her feet and had her hand on his chest to stop his movement before Willow even realised what was happening. “Now is not a good time Giles” she suggested with her firmest tone.

“Buffy, this doesn’t concern you” he said quietly and quickly twisted her wrist to remove her hand. He kept eye contact with her to dissuade her from taking things further and nodded slightly as she stepped back, acknowledging his right to have a few minutes to sort this out before she got involved.

Willow was on her feet and staring at both of them. “Buffy please don’t hurt him” she blurted out before she realised that they had come to their own, silent agreement to that effect. “What do you want?” she asked him wearily, prepared for another round of tears and recriminations. “I don’t really feel up to a big discussion” she started and was startled as he moved to stand in front of her.

“Me neither” he said as he reached out for her shoulders and pulled her against his chest. He leant down and kissed her before she could object.

Buffy was staring at them in amazement and it took several seconds before she finally shook herself. “This is in no way a spectator sport” she mumbled as she headed for the relative sanity of the kitchen.

Willow had gasped when she was pulled against his chest and air was now becoming a definite issue for her. She pulled back and put her hand on his chest to steady herself. “Need to breathe” she took a couple of deep breaths. “What on earth are you doing?” she finally asked and took another step away from him.

“It just suddenly occurred to me that the best way to decide if we were compatible was to kiss you until you either kissed me back or threw up on me” he suggested and retrieved his glasses from his jacket pocket. “So which is it to be?” he asked and tried to find something to do with his hands that didn’t involve touching her.

“But we haven’t resolved anything” she argued, but he could tell she was weakening. “Buffy and I put together a list and we were being methodical and now you’ve just come along and made everything all confusing again” she pouted a little.

He cocked his head to the side and stared at her lips. “Someone in this house is going to get kissed again in the next thirty seconds, your only decision is whether it is you or Buffy” he stated matter of factly and marvelled that he could still remain relatively calm while his heart was racing like an express train.

At this point they both heard the front door slam shut and Willow looked out of the front window to see Buffy departing at speed. “Perhaps your idea of using empirical evidence for the decision making process isn’t to be dismissed out of hand” she nodded.

“Willow, shut up and kiss me” he sighed.

“I don’t know, what is it with the masterful thing?” she asked and watched as he slowly took a step towards her. He waited, willing her to make the next move. “I’m still a little confused” she said quietly as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself. “I made a list and…”

“Willow, shut up and kiss me?” he pleaded with her, his voice almost a whisper, watching as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth.

She reached out and touched his chest, needing to feel his warmth. She seemed to come to a decision and her hand wandered down to his waist while her other one reached to hold his right hand. Their fingers intertwined as she leaned into him and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent. She bent her head back a little and tentatively kissed him.

His earlier kiss had been fuelled by adrenaline and his mind had been so busy concentrating on her reactions that he hadn’t really noticed the kiss itself. This one began gently, her lips barely touching his until she gained a little courage and moved even closer. His left hand trailed through her hair and rested on her neck, causing her to whimper slightly when he traced the same section of skin he had brushed against earlier in the day. Her reaction to his touch caused his heart to miss a beat and he opened his lips, inviting her to take their intimacy to another level.

Willow was at the floaty stage, completely unaware of any part of her body except for her lips and her hands where they touched him. She finally noticed his hand trailing fire across her neck and felt the shivers running down her spine. Now the simple kiss that had seemed to be the most important thing in her world seconds ago, paled into insignificance as she gently ran her tongue along his bottom lip. He tasted of minty toothpaste with a hint of camomile. He must have had some tea, she rationalised in one part of her brain until the rest of her grey matter ganged up on her and told her to shut up and kiss him.

Giles let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist, holding her against his body. The inevitable physical reactions were well on their way and he tried to take some control of the situation back. “We need to slow down a little” he suggested as they broke apart for a few moments.

“Too slow already” she mumbled as her lips moved back to his and her tongue duelled with his for dominance. After the battle was declared a draw she pulled back a little, letting her hands run across his chest. hinkhink the doubts are almost gone, can you think of any reason why we can’t spend the rest of the day doing this?” she asked sweetly.

“None at all, perhaps we should research to see if there is a prophecy about it?” he tried to keep the tone light, knowing that the serious discussions were still to come but happy for them to be delayed for a little while yet.

She sank down onto the sofa and pulled his hand to bring him next to her. “Not the kind of laptop I had in mind” she suggested and waited to see his reaction.

He tried to look stern but his hormones had gone into overdrive and he remembered that he wasn’t cast as the responsible adult in this scenario so he grinned at her instead and pulled her nearer to him.

Thirty minutes later Dawn opened the front door and headed towards the kitchen. She was aware of movement in the living room out of the corner of her eye and turned to greet whoever was there. “Oh my God Giles, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know you had someone here and I’m leaving now and bye” she practically threw herself towards the front door.

“Dawn, it’s OK” Willow giggled and manoeuvred herself out from under Giles.

“Willow?” Dawn said and then stood rooted to the spot, completely unable to think of anything to say or do.

Willow walked up to her and waved her hand in front of her face. When she didn’t get any reaction she turned to see Giles still sprawled on the sofa. “Do you think I broke her?” she shrugged.

He shook his head and slowly stood up, rearranging his sweater. “Probably just shock, perhaps you should get her a glass of water” he suggested and gently guided Dawn towards the dining room before putting her on a chair. He stood in front of her, staring into her eyes and was a little surprised when the eyes suddenly focussed on him and she scooted back a little in the chair. “Welcome back” he smiled at her. “I’m sorry you ha fin find out this way”

Willow stood behind the young girl and motioned with her head for Giles to leave them alone for a minute or two. She kneeled down in front of the chair and took Dawn’s hands in her own. “Dawnie, I need to know that you are OK with this” she murmured. “You are part of our family and neither of us want to hurt you”

Willow finally felt Dawn squeeze her hand and looked up into the teenager’s eyes. “I just got a bit of a shock when I thought Giles was kissing someone. Then you popped up and then I knew it was both of you making out on my sofa and now I think I need to go to the bathroom” she stood up abruptly and ran upstairs, slamming the bathroom door.

“Well, that went well” Giles observed from the bottom of the stairs. “Now that Buffy, Dawn and Anya know I think it’s about time you told Xander” he suggested.

“Anya knows?” Willow spluttered and followed him back to the living room. “You told Anya about us?” she accused him. It took a second or two for the rest of his suggestion to sink in. “I have to tell Xander, when did I get nominated for that?” she stood in front of him.

“I didn’t tell Anya, technically she told me and I think it’s only fair that you break the news to your oldest friend, after all I wouldn’t want to come between you.” He seemed to think he had said enough and sat down on the sofa, gently patting the cushion next to him as a hint.

Willow folded her arms and frowned. “We’ll discuss Anya’s role in this later, we need to sort out how we’re going to tell Xander”

“Tell me what?” the man of the moment made his appearance through the front door at that exact moment.

“You couldn’t resist could you?” Giles murmured as he stared up to where he assumed the powers that be were looking down on them, shaking with laughter at his situation.

“Xan” Willow had paled and quickly headed for hyper-panic mode. “Best buddie of mine, how you doing?” she playfully punched his arm.

“Ow” he mumbled and rubbed at the spot. “I’m fine, have you been drinking full strength coffee Will?”

“Nope, just delighted, surprised even, to see my bestest buddie and why are you here so early, don’t you have work?” she was still grinning inanely at him.

“Took the afternoon off to help out with the ghost busting” he looked over her shoulder towards Giles, who was still sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands. “Giles, has Willow been doing happy spells?”

Giles took a deep breath and decided he really had to sort this out once and for all before Buffy, Anya or Dawn broke the news for him. “Xander, just the man I was looking for, we need to get some supplies from the Magic Box, want to walk with me?” he suggested and wearily stood up to get his jacket from the end of the sofa.

Willow looked even more panicked. “Oooohh, not a good idea, perhaps I should go with Xander and you can wait here?” she asked him, her eyes pleading with him.

“I would rather you spoke to Dawn and made sure she was feeling OK” he smiled gently at her. “Come on Xander, we need to get going”

Xander looked between the two of them, aware of some undertone that he wasn’t getting, but knew that Giles wouldn’t be leaving Willow if there was anything serious wrong. “OK big guy, let’s go” he turned back as he got to the door. “Will, take it easy, we’ll talk later?”

“Okey dokey and I Iove you Xan” she smiled at him and waved.

Both men shook their heads as they turned to walk down the path.

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes when Xander asked “So I guess Dawn has a girl’s problem and that’s why you and I are dispatched on a meaningless errand while Willow gets freaky and stays behind?”

“Sorry?” Giles had been running through conversational scenarios and hadn’t gotten to one yet where Xander didn’t try to strangle him so he hadn’t really been listening.

Xander shook his head “Now you’re phasing out on me” he complained. “Let’s try some easier questions” he suggested and stood in front of Giles to stop his progress. “Is Dawn OK?” he enumerated question one on his index finger.

“As far as I know she’s fine” Giles murmured, unwilling to suggest that her recent shock had probably caused irreparable mental scars.

“OK, we’re getting somewhere” Xander smiled at him and held up another finger. “So how’s Willow, she seemed a little wired back there”

“Well, that is a rather more difficult question” Giles admitted and saw the panic start to form behind Xander’s eyes. “Essentially she is fine, better than she has been for some time I would hazard to guess” he suggested, trying to keep the smug grin from his face. “She has just made quite a difficult decision and I think the relief and…” he struggled for the correct word. “Excitement she was experiencing over this decision” he continued doggedly, determined to get this out in one go. “Perhaps caused her to be a little effusive in her manner but I think she will be much better from now on” he smiled in relief at having got that off his chest and checked to see how Xander was reacting to the shocking news.

“Huh?” Xander asked. “Were you still speaking English there?”

Giles quickly ran through the previous few seconds and sighed, preparing himself for the worst. “Xander, Willow was just a little anxious at you finding out about some major news in her life”

“She’s got a new girlfriend” Xander guessed and grinned at Giles. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

“Not quite” Giles acknowledged and took a deep breath. “The thing is that Willow has found someone to share her life with but it isn’t necessarily a girlfriend”

“She bought a dog?” Xander asked, getting more confused by the minute.

“Willow has a new boyfriend” Giles decided the best way to get this through to Xander was in stages.

“What!” Xander shouted and started to pace in front of Giles. “But she’s gay now, how can she be friending with a boy?”

“Willow was having some difficulty with that very question herself, however, I think she decided that the inner person is more important than the package they come in”

Xander took some time to sort through this explanation and shook his head. “Even if that lame-o mumbo-jumbo is true, who is this guy? She’s been hanging with us since she came back, I’d know if someone was making any moves on her” He seemed to think that this was incontrovertible evidence that Giles was wrong and waited to hear an apology as Giles agreed to the complete sense of this observation.

“Well that’s where the second part of this rather interesting situation comes into play” Giles admitted and slowly removed his glasses, carefully folding them and putting them in his pocket. He shrugged his shoulders and widened his stance a little before making eye contact with Xander. “The man that Willow has decided she is in love with would be me” he waited for Xander’s first punch to land.

He wasn’t prepared for the snigger to escape the boy’s lips closely followed by laughter and some good humoured back slapping. “Giles, stop trying to protect the guy, I won’t hurt him I promise”

Giles scrunched his forehead, trying to think of some way to persuade him. “Xander had you arrived ten minutes earlier at Buffy’s you would have found us ‘making out’ on the sofa” he paused to shake his head at the ridiculous phrase. “Instead of which Dawn caught us and is probably scarred for life”

Xander had stopped laughing. “Giles, please stop kidding around here, this is serious”

“Oh for god sake, I’m not kidding around with you but I am fooling around with your best friend” he had finally run out of patience and the small voice in his head once again reminded him of his stupidity as the first punch caught him unawares.

Xander hit him once and then bounced gently on the balls of his feet waiting for Giles to stand up so he could hit him again. “When I’ve finished here we’ll go back and you can undo whatever spell you’ve whammied Willow with” he snarled.

Giles sighed and shook his head to clear some of the buzzing in his ears. “Xander, please” he said and slowly started to get to his feet. “I’m sorry for the phrasing but I am very much in love with Willow and I believe she feels the same for me” he had finally made it to his feet and held up his hands to signal his unwillingness to fight. “I won’t fight you but please don’t suggest I’ve coerced Willow in any way, she’s completely herself and used her own free will to come to her decision”

Xander shook his head and swiped Giles’ hands away from him. “Why else would Willow go for you?” He swung another right hook at Giles and winced as he connected squarely, shaking his hand to get rid of the pain in his knuckles.

Giles lay on the ground breathing through his mouth. He had heard his nose break with that punch and could feel his anger building but he knew he couldn’t retaliate and had to find some way to talk Xander round. He was just getting to his knees and wiping the back of his hand under his nose to remove some of the blood when he saw a pair of boots he recognised standing in front of him. “I guess you told Xander then” Buffy asked as she reached her hand down to help him to his feet. “Ooohh that looks sore” she sympathised as she inspected his nose.

Xander was looking at her in disbelief. “You already knew?” he shouted at her. “Why am I the first to hit him when you knew he’d put some kind of spell on Willow”

Buffy shook her head and turned towards Xander, carefully placing herself between the two men. “Xan, he didn’t put a spell on her, this is Giles, he would never do anything as stupid as putting a love spell on someone” she looked pointedly at Xander and waited for him to catch onto her meaning. When the young man looked a little less belligerent she nodded. “So the reason I didn’t take this out on his nose is that Willow and him were kissing when I left them to it about an hour ago” she put a hand on Xander’s chest to stop him from coming any closer to Giles. “I’m not happy about this either but we need to let Willow figure this out for herself and..” she pushed gently against his chest to stop him interrupting. “If there is to be any whipping of Watcher ass I will be the first one to step up”

Giles coughed and tried to lean his head back to stop the blood running down his throat. “Xander, please I would never do anything to hurt Willow, it would be like cutting out my own heart”

“I call that when we’re handing out tasks” Xander scowled at him and took a step away from Buffy. “I need some time to sort this out” he said, turned and walked briskly away from them.

Buffy turned to Giles and took his handkerchief from him to gently dab at the blood running freely from his nose. “Broken?” she asked and sighed when he nodded gently. “Just as well Willow is a whizz with the healing spells” she smiled at him. “Why on earth did you decide to tell him like this?” she indicated the street and interested neighbours who were now disappearing behind curtains again.

“It was taken out of our hands” he mumbled. “Dawn came home early from school and caught Willow and I ehm..” he tried to phrase this a little more delicately than he had with Xander.

“Inflagrante delicto” Buffy suggested proudly.

“Bloody typical” he shook his head. “The only Latin phrase you ever bothered to learn. And no, we were simply kissing and then I realised that Xander was the only one who didn’t know and Willow was a little uncertain of the best way to break the news so I volunteered to explain the situation to him”

“Explaining the situation used to be a lot less painful” she laughed and guided him up the path towards the front door. “I don’t ever remember you getting your nose splattered in the library when you explained stuff before”

“It was a happier time” he admitted and took a deep breath before pushing the door open.