Slip Slide Melting

* * * * * * * * *

Part 16

Six days, Spike told himself.

Six days and nights since he and his bloke had had their row, and… nothing.

Oh, sure, Xander said hello and such when they passed in the hallways or wherever, but… somehow the vampire had expected more; especially after the way the brunette had begged him not to leave that day. He hadn’t gotten more, though.

Hell, he wondered sometimes whether the Magus Prime even remembered ever touching him.

And that was the thing that was really bothering him, Spike knew.

He’d met with the bloke a time or two; had a few talks with him about the boy. But it wasn’t Xander that talked to him, it was the Magus Prime, and…

‘Perhaps he no longer cares for us,’ the soul whispered, its voice ‘sounding’ close to shattered.

‘Why should he?’ the demon answered, clearly almost as depressed as its counterpart. ‘First-Sire doesn’t… hated us almost from the start. Why should Xander feel any different? We’re… nothing to him.’

“Stop it,” Spike muttered, pulling the newly-repaired and cleaned duster tighter around him as he made his way back to his apartment in the pre-dawn light. “Bloke doesn’t want us? Fine. Not like there’s any shortage of blokes and chits around who do. Seen the way they’re always looking, right? Xander bloody Harris is not the be all and end all.”

He nodded sharply to himself, then slowed as he reached the guard station at the gateway to the vampire sector.

He cocked his head at the unfamiliar vampire in the shadowed depths then nodded. “Guess Michaels is off tonight, yeah?”

The woman blinked, then smiled at the Master. “It’s his Deathday, Master…?”

Spike chuckled at the curious tone and dug his papers from his pocket along with the newly acquired badge proclaiming him a special Citadel Guard. “Nemoy,” he answered her question, handing her the documents then slipping them back into his pocket when she’d finished with them. “And you are?”

“B-Bentley, Mister Nemoy,” she answered, eyes wide and blue, “S-stella Bentley.” This was the vampire Michaels had written about! She’d almost thought the older guard-vampire had been making things up, but apparently not, and…

“Nice to meet you, Officer Bentley. Mind you don’t get too much sun in your booth there, yeah?”

The redhead laughed and shook her head. “Spelled glass. Plus, this,” she tapped the amulet around her neck. “Individually keyed to each guard. It’ll let us bear the sun if necessary in pursuit of our duties.” Stella frowned slightly. “Doesn’t work when we’re off-shift, but it helps. Especially when the Darksiders try to slip by us. Um, not that that happens much, sir, so don’t worry. You’re entirely safe within the sector.”

Spike grinned, arching one brow. “Well. That’s a shame. A bloke likes a bit of a knock-down, drag-out every now and again.” He looked at the sky and nodded. “And seeing as I don’t have one of those handy little baubles, I’ll be heading on my way. Good job you’re doing there, Officer. And if you could tell Michaels I wish him happy for his Deathday, it’d be appreciated, pet.”

The guard found herself blinking as the Master moved on, then shook her head in wonder. Michaels had been right. Mister Nemoy was well worth taking note of.

* * * * *

The human stayed hidden deep inside the mouth of the alley as he watched the blond stop and talk to the guard before moving deeper into the protected sector.

It had been pure luck that he’d been lurking near the Citadel that morning. Well, pure luck and the fact that he’d been put out of the strip club he’d wandered into earlier.

It still burned that the demons had told him to leave. He was human! The staff should have been happy that he’d even bothered to enter their establishment! Hell, they should have made him a guest of the house instead of actually wanting him to pay for his drinks and the three or four lap dances he’d asked for!

They hadn’t, though. In fact, they’d not only made him pay, but full price! A human! Full price! And they’d kicked him out just for getting a little rough with one of the so-called girls.

Hah. Like female demons were real girls. Besides, they liked it rough! Everyone knew that!

No, the males had just been jealous.

Jealous of his looks, his humanity, his… everything. And that last female… she’d only been crying to get a bigger tip from him. He knew that much. It wasn’t like a few bruises and a little blood bothered demons, after all.

But they’d put him out, and in the end, he figured they’d kind of done him a favor.

If he’d still been in the club, he never would have seen the so-familiar bleached blond leaving the Citadel’s side gate, and… he didn’t know how it was possible, but he was almost sure it was the real vampire; not one of the carefully crafted doubles.

And so he’d followed. Carefully and at a distance, which had been more difficult than he’d expected, considering that so many demons were nocturnal, not just vampires.

Still, he hadn’t lost the blond… or not until he’d disappeared into the vampire sector.

It could have been worse, he told himself, stepping from the alley and moving off in the opposite direction. They had agents in the sector, after all. Not many, granted, but some.

It shouldn’t be that hard to find out where the vampire was hiding out, and once they did… well, if it really was who he thought it was, then maybe he’d done what none of the others had managed in all this time. Maybe he’d found a way into the Citadel.

* * * * *

‘Xander…’

The brunette ignored the voice, focusing more tightly on the heavy bag he was engaged in killing.

‘Xander,’ the voice said again, insistently.

Clawed fingers slashed roughly at puncture-resistant fabric, and still he ignored the voice.

‘Xander! Jesus fuck, stop it!’ Alex demanded. ‘You’re scaring the kids!’

He was breathing hard, fingers tense and slightly bloody where the talons had sprung through flesh. Now that he’d stopped, his legs trembled, muscles tired and cramping just a bit already from the four solid hours he’d been fighting himself, according to the clock on the wall.

“Shit,” he whispered, then forced a smile to stretch his lips as he turned to see Faith’s two eldest standing in the doorway. Alex was right, he realized. They did look kind of… frightened.

“Hey there,” he said brightly, grabbing his towel from a nearby bench and wrapping it around his hands, “you guys training today?”

The older of the two nodded slowly, her face solemn. “Uh-huh, Uncle Xan. Papa-G’s meeting us here. We get to play with bo-staffs today.”

“Oh. Well, good!” he replied quickly, giving them another grin. “But don’t forget, Chelsea. You’re older than Brian. So you be careful, okay?”

The young brunette nodded, still giving the older man a frighteningly mature look. “I’m older but he’s faster. Papa-G won’t let us get hurt, though. Daddy would be mad if he did. So would Mommy.”

“Not as mad as you just was, Unca,” Brian added, dark eyes wide in his little face, “I wants claws. When does I gets to have claws?”

And Gods, the boy had Faith’s pout down pat, even if the rest of him screamed Robin.

“I don’t know, little man,” Xander said with a chuckle, rubbing the boy’s head affectionately. “You might not, you know. You might get something even better,” he added quickly, cutting off another pout. “It depends on how the demon-genes work out, right? You could get claws… or wings, or maybe even a tail like Auntie Willow.”

“Or horns, Bri,” Chelsea said, “You like horns. You might get them. Daddy Robin has horns.”

“Yes,” came the voice from behind the children, “But this is sparring practice, not genetics theory. Let’s focus on the lesson at hand, shall we, children? Now go get changed. Five minutes!”

Xander laughed softly at the shouted ‘yes, Papa-G’-s that trailed the kids into the changing rooms.

“Hey, Giles,” he greeted the older man, laughing at the pink shirt the slightly green-ish and lightly scaled man wore. “Faith been doing the laundry again?”

Light eyes closed for a scant moment, obviously in an effort to keep them from rolling. “She does insist upon doing her part, Xander, and I haven’t the heart to stop her. Not even when she doesn’t do it terribly well.”

The brunette nodded, still smiling a bit. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s like when Sp…” he cut himself off and looked away from too-knowing eyes. “She never gets any better at it, does she?” he finally finished.

Giles sighed, wishing he still wore glasses. Polishing them would have given him something to do other than look at the obvious unhappiness on his young friend’s face.

“No. No, she doesn’t. But then, it’s a small price to pay, isn’t it? It makes her happy to feel like she’s contributing to the family, and if that means I must sometimes appear in things which are… oddly coloured, then so be it. I love her, you see, and anything that makes her smile is worthwhile.”

“What if…” Xander stopped and swallowed hard, then draped his towel over his shoulder, fingers twisting in its edge. “What if being with her put you in danger? Like… someone might try to use you against her? Would you… would you still be with her? I mean… wouldn’t you want her to let you go?”

“What? Push me away?” Giles blinked, then his eyes widened as some of the things Lex had recently said suddenly formed a whole picture when combined with Xander’s current words.

He thought for a few moments, well aware of the fact that the children would be returning soon for their lesson.

“I believe it is safe to say,” the older man finally spoke, “That I am always at risk. I am bound, as it were, to a Slayer, to your Captain, and to a Slayer’s son. As such, I most likely have more enemies than I’ll ever be aware of. As do the children, Xander.”

He waited while the young man processed that, going on when Xander finally nodded.

“It is… fortunate, I believe, that my spouses understand that I am just as capable of protecting myself and them as they are. In fact, I would likely be greatly offended—perhaps heartbroken, even—if any of them were to… push me aside, be it for my own good or not.”

He placed one hand companionably on Xander’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “I knew precisely what I was getting into when I accepted my family into my heart, child. But I love them, as they love me. Would I be better off without them? Absolutely not. I would possibly be safer, although that is in no way certain, considering my connections to you and Willow, but I would not be better off. I would be… miserable.”

Xander sighed and looked away. “Because you love them. But what if you didn’t? What if they were just… friends? Uh, friends you were… were really close to?”

Giles snorted softly and gave the brunette’s shoulder one more squeeze. “Dear boy… it’s not my place to tell you what you should do, but… if we are in fact talking about who and what I think we are, then you are a fool. Nobody walks about moping as much as you two do if there are only friendly feelings at risk.” He sighed. “I can’t say that what you two have is love. Honestly, I can’t imagine anybody choosing to love Spike. He’s entirely too… frenetic. However, I am not you and it may well be that he suits you. Still, whether it’s love or not? I have no idea.”

“So what do I do, Giles? I’m… Gods, I can’t stand the idea of him being in danger because of me, but… I hate seeing him, wanting him… and not being able to…” Xander shook his head and blushed slightly. “I so can’t believe I’m even talking to you about this.”

The former Watcher chuckled and cocked his head a bit. “Who better, dear boy? You’ve come to me more times than I can count over the years. What’s one more? Still, as for what you should do… I believe that there are only two choices here, since you obviously can not continue on as you have been.”

Xander sighed again. “Okay… so what are they, because I’m so fucking confused right now, I can’t…”

“It’s very simple, Xander. You can either talk to him and try to resolve whatever issues you two have… or you can send him away—make him leave. Completely. Perhaps to Willow; I’m sure she’d be pleased to see him.” He smiled slightly at the barely-heard growl that suggestion earned him.

“You are the Magus Prime, child. You can’t afford to be this… divided. You have far too many responsibilities to allow yourself to remain so distracted and… emotionally distraught. And here are the children!” he finished, releasing the boy he’d considered one of his own for years.

“Yeah,” Xander nearly whispered, “I… I’ll think about it, Giles. And… thanks.” He plastered another smile on his face and looked at Chelsea and Brian. “Have a good lesson, kids. And remember, if you bleed on the mats, you clean it up!”

“Papa-G?” the young girl said quietly, once the Magus Prime had left them, “Is Uncle Xan gonna be okay?”

Giles stared a moment longer at the swinging door, then looked down into her wide, hopeful eyes. “I hope so, dearest… I certainly hope so.”

* * * * *

Xander leaned back in his chair and sipped slowly from the very full glass of whiskey in his hand.

Giles was right. He knew Giles was right. But his choice was no choice at all.

There was no chance that he would send Spike anywhere. He had no right to do it, in the first place, and that was entirely aside from the fact that knowing the vampire was gone would drive him even more around the bend than he already was.

So.

Spike had to stay. There was no question about that.

But how to… fix things now, after he’d basically acted like an enormous fucking jerk? And would Spike even care that he was sorry? Was it too late?

‘If it is, it’s your own fault, genius,’ Alex piped up, voice angry in his head. ‘You had a good thing going and you just had to fuck it up, didn’t you? And then you treated him like he meant nothing to you! I told you to e-mail him; I told you to court him! But did you? Of course not! So I’m thinking it’d serve you right if he told you to fuck off and leave him alone.’

‘I know… I know, Alex. I don’t even have an excuse, okay? And I really don’t have a good one. So how about you try helping, here, instead of playing another round of ‘kick the moron’, okay?’

‘Fine,’ Alex grumbled, ‘as long as you admit I was right, I guess I can help you.’

‘And it has nothing to do with you wanting to feel him again, huh?’

‘Shut up and start thinking,’ the voice replied irritably, ignoring the question.

* * * * *

tbc...