So Damn Domestic

Four Days Later. BPOV


Damn, the baby’s crying again. I swear this kid is firmly against us getting any sleep. She cried almost the entire flight and slept for a really long time once we got her in the basinet that we brought with us. I can’t remember exactly how long she slept but she’s been waking up way more then normal ever since. I don’t know why she’s acting like this. Maybe she’s sick? No, she had a doctor’s appointment the day after Christmas and she got her shots so she should be fine. I hear Faith groan and roll over onto her other side. Matthew moves around a little bit but doesn’t wake up. That kid can sleep through anything. I guess it’s up to me to take care of the screamer. She can’t be hungry, she just had four ounces of formula like half an hour ago. It doesn’t sound like much but for a little baby who’s stomach is very small that’s a lot. I sit up in the bed and yawn widely and rub some of the sleep out of my eyes. I throw the covers back and stand up. I walk to the other side of the bed and look down at my crying baby and then look up at the clock radio on Faith’s nightstand. The big red numbers are mocking me, laughing at me because it’s only four in the morning. Sometimes, like right now when I’m sleep deprived and want to just curl up with my fiancé for like a week, parenthood sucks.


I reach down and wrap Addison’s blanket around her so she’s wrapped up like a little burrito and I pick her up and cradle her in my arms. I yawn again and walk out of the room. No need to wake up the other two. The time difference thing isn’t so bad for me because I already had some time to get used to it, but they are having a hard time adjusting. We’ve only been here for a couple days so it’ll just take some more time. Faith is going to make her formal introduction to the girls today. I’m a little afraid for them because Faith has already said many times that she isn’t going to hold back on the physical stuff. She says that they’re slayers and they shouldn’t be babied and if they do something to deserve a smack on the back of the head they should get a smack on the back of the head. I agree with her but I know she isn’t going to hold back on the strength like I did. It doesn’t seem like it but I did.


I sigh and sit down in the rocking chair. It’s in the living room, in the corner facing the wall that has the T.V. and some pictures that I hung up. In my spare time in December I got copies made of some of the pictures of Matthew and Faith and took them to the photo place where the lady behind the counter made them bigger and then I framed them. It took me a couple of days because first I had to decide which pictures I wanted framed and then I had to pick out the perfect frames and then find the perfect places to hang them. But it was worth the effort. I sigh again and take a look around. This place isn’t bad, I actually kind of like it. Giles somehow got a hold of the blue prints of our house in Shasta Lake and had an almost exact replica built. The only things missing are Addison’s room and our training room. He said that she is still sleeping in the room with us and we shouldn’t be here for very long so we won’t need a nursery. As for the training room, he said that we are living at the only facility for slayers, that is home to five different training rooms so if we want to take out our aggression we can just walk the five minutes to get to one. He still doesn’t understand that when me and Faith spar it usually ends with us all sweaty and worked up and having sex on the training room floor. But if little Addison doesn’t stop waking up every half hour we won’t be doing any sparing.


“Shh baby girl, shh,” I whisper and gently rock back and forth. She’s starting to calm down but she’s still crying. I hold her really close to me to try and make her feel really snug. I start to hum, just like I did for Matthew when he was a little baby. I hold her with one arm and use my free hand to gently rub her stomach and she quickly calms down. She doesn’t go back to sleep though, she keeps her eyes open and just looks up at me. I smile a little and gently rub her cheek with the back of my index finger. “You’re gonna have to stop this waking-up-every-half-an-hour nonsense. Me and your mother need our sleep.” She grunts and furrows her eyebrows a little bit. She’s quite the little back-talker. We’re definitely going to have problems with this one when she reaches the teen years. Oh great. I was just being sarcastic, I really hope I didn’t just jinx it.


“Nope, you’re going to be a very good little girl. You’re not going to pick on your brother, and you’re goin to listen to what we have to tell you and you’re not going to date anyone until you’re sixteen and you’re not going to sleep with him until you’re married.” She grunts and makes this little gurgling sound and wiggles around a little. I guess that’s her way of saying ‘yeah right, whatever, I’ll do what I want’. Yep, she’s going to be quite the handful, if that dream was really some type of premonition then I better start preparing for a lot of yelling.


I look out the window when I feel my slayer senses tingle, as Faith calls it. I can feel something evil, it’s distant and I don’t think it’s very powerful, a newly risen vampire or something like that, but I can still feel it. I can feel the slayer within me stir up a little. I’m definitely in a slaying rut, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to go back to that little town after living here for a couple of months. I didn’t go slaying before because I didn’t want to go alone and I don’t want to slay with anyone else but Faith. That would be like cheating or something. But it drove me crazy, being able to feel all of the evil that this hellmouth has to offer and not give in to this desire to hunt. And when I got back home I didn’t really think about it because I was so worried about Faith and then all I wanted to do was spend time with her. But now that things are calm and I’m up at...four thirty in the morning, and can feel something lurking out there I can feel all of those years of repressing my slayer side start to rush forward.


I look down when I feel Addison move. She’s tilting her back and looking towards the window. She can feel it too. I can’t help but feel a little proud because of that. My kids are already slayers, it wouldn’t surprise me if they grow up to be stronger then all of the other slayers in the world. Being born of two slayers that has to make you like a super-slayer, right? I don’t know, we’ll just have to wait until they’re old enough and then test their abilities, but judging by how advanced Matthew is when it comes to the training he’s going to be very powerful. I look towards the hall when I hear Faith walking down it. She’s still half asleep, walking like a zombie with her eyes closed as she makes her way towards the bathroom. She’s so used to doing this almost every morning that she doesn’t need to open her eyes to know where our bathroom door is. But we’re not at home and five bucks says she’ll walk into the wall. Just wait for it....and.....bingo!


“Ow, motherfucker.” She says and stumbles back a little. I have to bite my lips to keep from laughing as she rubs her forehead and nose. She opens her eyes and watches where she’s going as she steps into the bathroom and shuts the door. She’s going to be really tired today. And when she’s really tired she’s grouchy. And a grouchy Faith is not something anyone wants to be around. She bitches and complains and is a lot more sarcastic then normal, and she’s really mean about it too. When she’s grouchy I do my best to ignore it and try to cheer her up. I can be very imaginative too. There have been outfits, and they put her in a good mood really quick. But we can’t do that here. Giles forgot to sound proof the walls, and Matthew still isn’t sleeping in his own bed. This is all new to him and he’s a little scared. He may be a slayer but he’s still a little six-year-old boy. And sleeping in a brand new room in a new house in a new town can be scary. “What are you doing up so early?” When did she get out of the bathroom? I didn’t hear her come out, oh well.


“Addison was crying again. She still hasn’t gone back to sleep,” I tell her and look down at our girl. She’s looking up at Faith and smiling and it’s possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. She has Faith’s dimples all right. “What time are you going to talk to Giles?” She wants to see Giles before she introduces herself to the girls. I don’t really know why. I guess she wants to make sure that if they get hurt during her training sessions she can’t be held responsible. I don’t know if that’s true or not, thus the reason for talking with Giles. She says the word ‘ten’ and she shivers loudly and her teeth start to chatter. She’s not used to living in this kind of weather anymore. I know it gets really cold in Boston so she should be used to it but she’s not. And it gets really cold here. We’re trying to keep it warm in the house but that’s kind of hard to do when it’s twenty degrees outside and there’s six inches of snow on the ground. She gently rubs the backs of her fingers across my upper arm and I can’t help but shiver they’re so cold. I really wish she wouldn’t do that. She did it on purpose, I know she did.


“Come back to bed, B. Keep me warm.” I smile a little devilish smile because I know exactly what she’s thinking. But we can’t, Matthew’s still sleeping in our bed and if we fool around with him right next to us it would be creepy and weird and probably illegal. I guess I’m making a weird facial expression because she smiles and then runs her fingers through my hair. And again with the shivering. I really wish she’d stop with the touching until her hands are warm again. “I put Mattie in his own bed, he’s not going to wake up for another couple a hours, and Addy’s asleep again.” I look down and sure enough the little one has dozed off and is lightly snoring. Yep, she definitely takes after Faith. “Come on, B. Come back to bed.” Jeez, what has her so worked up? Oh well, might as well make the best of it. She’ll probably be too tired tonight to do anything except sleep. I smile and we walk into the bedroom together. I put Addison back in the basinet and she moves around a little bit but then quiets down. I turn the thermostat up a little bit because it’s getting kinda cold in here. Faith is just a wuss when it comes to the cold, she hates it and gets cold pretty easy. She told me that’s one of the things she hated most about winter in Boston: she was always cold.


I lie down under the covers and scoot closer to her. I wrap my arms around her and make myself comfortable as we lie on our sides and face each other. Damn, she really is cold. Her feet feel like ice. There’s only one thing I can think of at the moment to get her warmed up. And yes that was a double entendre. I give her a small kiss on the lips and I pull back after a couple seconds. She opens her eyes again and looks at me weird and I smile oh so sweetly. I like teasing her, it’s fun. But you have to be really careful when you tease Faith because she always finds a way to get you back. I remember when we first started sleeping together I had teased her for a good ten maybe fifteen minutes. She got so frustrated that she actually screamed, and of course I laughed because it was so damn funny.


So the next day I’m sitting on the living room couch, reading a magazine and minding my own business when she walks in the room and straddles me. We made out for a while and we were both hot and bothered, and she slowly slid her hand into my pants and started to tease me. She left these little feather light touches at my entrance and on my clit but she never actually gave me any pleasure. And then right when I started to pump my hips to try and get her to touch me, she got up and brushed herself off and said that she needed to do some laundry. She just left me there, confused, and very turned on. I learned that day that if you burn the Faith, the Faith will burn you back.


Ok, so back to the now. I kiss Faith full on the lips and I slowly slide my tongue into her mouth. I do the little swirly thing that she loves and she starts moaning a little. She needs to be very quiet or else this will be brought to an abrupt stop when Addison wakes up. I can feel her skin start to warm up a little bit, which is what I wanted. Her blood is pumping faster and I can feel her heart beating quicker. As we kiss I bring a hand up and cup her cheek, and then her neck. I gently massage the muscles there and let my hand wonder down to her breast. I feel her nipple harden under my touch and I use my thumb to tease it a little. She kisses me a little rougher, a little faster and I pull back for air. She’s panting really hard and she can’t stop moaning. What has gotten into her? Maybe she had a sex dream or something.


“Shh, baby, you gotta calm down a little.” She gulps in some air and shakes her head no. She shallows hard and then pants some more. Her hips are slowly grinding up against me and her hands are working their way under and up my shirt. She lightly massages my breasts and I kiss her deeply. She slows down, and her moaning has ceased to be. We pull back for air and we’re totally silent and completely still as we look at each other. There’s so much passion, so much fire in her eyes that it sends a shiver down my spine. She lifts up her leg and places it over my hip. I can feel her heat through our clothing. What has her so worked up? Sure sometimes she wakes up really excited from a sex dream but never like this. She kisses me deeply, and it feels like she’s rushing. I slow her down a little and her hips start pumping again. She rolls me over onto my back and then sits up in my lap and the blankets fall down around her. I watch as she lifts off her shirt and her breasts lightly bounce as they’re freed. She tosses the shirt aside and leans down again. She presses against me as we kiss. I break it and grab onto her hips. I lift her up a little and scoot down the bed and as I do my shirt rises up, exposing my stomach. I take one of her hard peaks in my mouth and I close my eyes. She hasn’t let me do this in a long time because of the breast milk. But that’s all dried up now so I get to enjoy them again.


She moans and grinds herself against my stomach. I reach down and pull on her pajama bottoms and panties. When I can’t reach down any further with my hands I use one of my feet and pull them off the rest of the way. I shiver when I feel the cool air of the room brush against my arms and legs. I sit up and she’s looking at me with a little bit of confusion. I smile though and kiss her collarbone a little bit. She starts moaning again and I pull back. I lean over the side of the bed, which is a little difficult with Faith sitting in my lap. I gently touch Addison’s skin to make sure she’s not too cold. I grab some of her extra blankets from the end of the basinet and cover her up. The call of motherhood will not be denied even in the middle of an early morning quickie.


I sit back up and smile at Faith before capturing her lips with my own. I grab the blankets that have fallen down around her waist and pull them over us as I slowly lay down. Faith follows me and starts to grind herself against me. She scoots up a little and I continue my attack on her breasts. She moans a little louder as I roll her hard peak in my mouth. She grinds against my stomach like before only now that she’s nude I can feel her wetness against my skin. She starts moaning even louder. But she stops, which is a little strange. She scoots down the bed and takes off my pajama bottoms along with my underwear. She straddles my thigh and starts grinding against the warm flesh as she kisses me deep.


I can feel her moans and groans. I can feel her hot wetness against me, and she’s getting louder, and louder. It’s a little weird that she isn’t talking, but I guess she knows that no matter how worked up she is she has to be quiet because if Addison wakes up then that’s it and we’ll both be frustrated all day long. Her hips start pumping harder, a lot quicker and she pulls back from the kiss and inhales sharply. I feel the rush of wetness and she squeaks loudly, which I think is adorable but also really weird. Did she just? She did, but...why so soon? And just from rubbing against my leg for like...two minutes. I knew we’d have to be quick, but damn we’re never that quick. I watch the bliss cross her face and then her breathing starts to return to normal but she doesn’t open her eyes. Well, at least she looks satisfied, that’s what’s important, right? But I still can’t get over this, and I have to ask. “Did you just...?” She opens her eyes and relaxes against me, a little off to the side so she’s using my shoulder as a pillow and she’s lightly running her fingertips over my stomach.


“Yeah. Pretty weird huh?” I nod my head a little. I probably sound strange obsessing about this, it’s just that it usually takes more for Faith to...arrive. And the fact that all it took was her rubbing against me a little has me a little confused. And we’ve only been in the room for about...fifteen minutes. The only time she ever comes that soon is if I’m going down on her or using my hands. “It’s this place, B. I can feel the hellmouth, all the evil, and it’s driving me crazy. I can feel the slayer just screaming for me to go out and slay, but we haven’t yet and all of that pent up energy has to go somewhere, and you know how I get really worked up if I don’t slay, or if I miss the kill. But this, it’s like a low hum in the back of my mind, it’s calling me, telling me to come and find it. We definitely have to go slaying tonight.” We’re quiet for a few minutes as she continues to draw little invisible designs on my stomach. I’m a little worked up just from watching Faith, and touching her but nothing life threatening. Besides, Matthew just woke up so we can’t do anything else because he’s opening our bedroom door now. Faith grabs onto the covers and holds them around her as if her life depends on it.


“Mama, I’m hungry. When are you gonna make breakfast?” He starts to walk into the room and I can feel Faith panicking because she’s completely nude and she doesn’t want to scar him for life by him seeing her nude. She rolls over so she’s facing him and I can’t help but smile. I wonder how she’s going to get him to leave the room. His appetite is just as big as hers, and when he’s hungry he won’t leave you alone until there’s food for him to eat. And the only way Faith will get up is if he’s out of the room. Which is understandable. I don’t want our son seeing me naked either. Talk about psychological damage. I really don’t want him to one day be lying on the couch of a therapist talking about how he one day walked in on the afterglow of his two mothers and that’s why he’s crazy. Not that he’s going to grow up to be crazy but if he does I really don’t want some therapist blaming us for it. Unless we really are the reason. Ok, enough talking about this, it’s giving me a headache.


“I’ll be up in a minute. Why don’t you go let Tucker outside, ok?” Matthew nods his head yes and runs from the room. Well, that was easier then I thought it was going to be. She rolls over and gives me a little kiss on the neck and then pulls back so she can look at me. “Sorry you didn’t get to...” She must’ve noticed the weird look on my face or something because it’s rare that she stops talking like that unless she thinks it’ll start a fight. Why I would fight about this I have no idea. I have the weird look on my face because I’m trying to feel what she’s feeling, trying to feel the evil, that low hum she’s talking about but it isn’t working. “We’ll try again later ok?” I nod my head yes and give her a deep kiss. “Do you remember if we packed the bathrobes or not?” I stare at the ceiling as I think about it. I think we did. Let’s see...the bathroom stuff went in the blue bag. No, I know they’re not in there. Oh, I remember.


“Yeah, in the red bag. Miscellaneous stuff, remember?” She smiles and nods her head yes, but it’s one of those ‘you’re crazy but I still love you’ smiles. I was the one who came up with the system of naming all of the bags. If it were up to her we would have just thrown everything together and it would be one big unorganized mess. She gets up and wraps the sheet around her and then walks over to the closet. She starts digging through the bags until she finally finds the red one. She pulls out her robe and slips it on and then tosses the sheet back onto the bed. “Faith?” She stops in the doorway and turns around. “Pancakes and bacon?”


“Sure, comin right up.” And she leaves the room. I lie on my back and stare up at the ceiling. Why has Faith always been more in tune with her slayer side then me? She can feel the hellmouth humming in the back of her mind, I can’t feel that. Sure I can feel some of the evil creatures around here but I’ve always been able to feel that. By just being here Faith can feel the hellmouth below the earth, and it’s affecting her. Maybe that’s one of the reasons she was so...intense in Sunnydale. The hellmouth amplified everything and she dealt with it the only way she knew how, by giving in to it. Most of the guy talk was bravado, but she did get around a little bit. Her post slaying double H’s have always been more intense then mine, maybe the hellmouth made it a lot worst for her. I don’t know, but I need to stop thinking about it or it’s going to drive me crazy. And Addison’s crying again. Maybe it is time to get up and face the day.


FPOV


“Ah, yes, Faith. Please, come in and sit down. It’s lovely to see you again,” Giles says when I knock on the door to his office and then open it. Yes, I waited for him to say ‘come in’. I do have some manners ya know. Anyway, I walk in and sit down in the chair in front of his desk. “There was something you wanted to discuss?” Could he be any more British? According to B he loosened up a lot ever since he met Wesley. I guess lookin into a mirror made him realize how tightly wound he really was. He’s the only watcher I know that wears jeans.


“I was wondering if you could tell me where all the vampires are in California. Redding and Shasta Lake has none. Well, there are some demons, mostly lame vampires who aren’t even worth slaying. Me and B are feelin pretty restless and just sittin in this town, being able to feel all of the evil…it’s drivin me kinda crazy.” He gives me this strange look and stops stirring his tea. Well at least I know where he stands on the whole trusting me issue. Seems like none of the scoobies, ‘cept for B, can move on from the Sunnydale days. “Not literally. We need to slay, there’s no question about it. If we keep going on like this I think we will go insane. It was fine like this at first, that big battle had all of us beggin for a break, but it’s been almost nine years since Sunnydale went boom, and the last time I got in a decent slay was the last time I was here. And that was what, almost four years ago? Somethin needs to change, and I think it’s our location of livin.” He’s quiet while he thinks about what I’ve said and he sips at his tea. I try to sit still and be quiet because that’s the respectful thing to do since I just asked him a pretty big favor.


“I suppose I could look into it. It might take a day or two. I’m assuming you two want to avoid the larger cities, San Francisco, LA, Oakland? Those places have a large population of vampires, yes, but I’m sure you’ll want to take in account that, in my opinion, none of those cities are good enough for raising children.” He has a point. San Fran is overpopulated, Oakland has lots of crime and the LA gang is doing a good job in keeping that town under control when it comes to the evil. Wouldn’t want to make them feel threatened, slaying is how they make they’re livin after all. I nod my head since I don’t really know what to say. Talking with Giles and not being a smart ass is just something I’m not used to. I feel like a fish outta water, so I think I’ll just be quiet. “So, give me a couple of days and I’ll try to find something you’ll both like. There is something I need to discuss with you.” I nod my head again and he continues. Why do I feel so nervous all of a sudden? Probably because he’s givin me that protective father look, and it’s not me who he’s protecting. “I’d like to talk about the wedding you two are planning.” Actually Buffy’s planning it, and I just agree with what she wants, because I want her to have exactly what she wants. The only thing I refuse to do is wear a dress.


“About that. Buffy changed the date. She wants to have it sooner then she originally planned. We were gonna wait until Addy turns two, but she wants to have it this spring. Somewhere in southern California, at this garden, she can’t remember the name of it so we’re gonna take a trip to LA ‘cause she knows it’s somewhere around there.” I stop talking and he takes another sip of his tea. He’s looking into my eyes and I can’t help but feel like he’s staring into my soul. His light eyes are searching for something and he puts his cup of tea down when he finds it.


“And you’re unhappy with the change of date?” I sigh and look around. I’m not a very good liar, or so I’ve been told. I can be honest with Giles right? He’s not as tightly wound as he used to be. I was a little surprised actually, didn’t think the tweed kind of capable of getting rid of their better then thou attitudes. Then again I never thought me and B would shack up, have a couple kids and live out in the middle of suburbia, and not kill each other after a little over eight years together. Our anniversary is gonna be comin up pretty quick. Ok, so not so quick, in a few months. That’s plenty of time to get her a really nice gift and cook her those cheese stuffed shells she loves so much. “Faith? Are you alright?” Oh, musta zoned out again. I swear I have A.D.D.


“I’m fine. Look, I’m not unhappy with the date change. I just think she’s…rushing this. We’ve barely had time to enjoy our engagement and she wants to walk down the isle. I think waitin a couple of years was the better of the two ideas. But this is what Buffy wants, and it’s her special day. I’m not going to ruin it for her.” Ok so that came out a little more defensive then I planned but whatever. He leans more into the chair and then takes another sip of his tea and then puts it back down on the table. This is gonna bug me, either drink it all now or finish it after I leave. He’s usin it as a way to buy him more time to think of what to say, which I get, but it’s still buggin me.


“Faith, this is your special day as well. And I know that above all things Buffy wants both of you to be happy and comfortable on your wedding day, and if you think that she’s rushing this then you’re not going to be as happy and comfortable as you would be if you were married on a date you both agree on.” He’s gotta point. But still, this is Buffy’s day. Even if I am a little uncomfortable getting married so soon I’m not going to deny her. She’d be crushed. He sighs and sifts his weight in the chair. “I know you don’t agree with me now, but please think about what I’ve said. Maybe you’ll realize that this wedding isn’t all about Buffy. Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I need to finish signing these progress reports.”


I tell him goodbye and then leave the room. I guess it’s time to do a little exploring. Some things have changed since the last time I was here. New paint job, a couple of the classes are being used for different things, and…is that a pond? Sure as hell looks like one. I wonder if it gets ducks in the summer. Oh, Tucker’s gonna love that if we’re still here when they come back. Hmm, I should probably take the dog for a walk. He’s been cooped up since we got here. He’s probably driving Buffy a little crazy.


I hear the bell ring and all of the kids start pouring out of the classrooms. It seems like there’s more then there really is because their voices are echoing off the walls, making everything sound louder. I let my eyes wonder over the faces as they pass me. From the way B described this Lily kid I should be able to spot her on sight. But I don’t see anyone that fits the description. All of these girls are wearing girly lookin clothes, ya know, tight fitting and bright colors. From what B said this girl likes her threads dark and not as snug as the others. I look over to my right when I see something outside the big windows move. I see someone walking down the path towards the tool shed. No one’s supposed to be outside since it’s so cold. She has light brown hair that’s shoulder length, dark clothes with chains on the pants, ‘bout as tall as B, walks with a superior attitude...that must be Lily.


The door that leads outside is just at the end of the hall. I go outside and shiver. I should have brought a warmer jacket. I walk down the path towards the shed, I can feel everyone’s eyes on me. I think they finally realized who I am. When I open the door to the shed the first thing I notice is the smell of cigarette smoke. Hopefully she’s in the mood to share ‘cause it’s been way too long since I’ve had a cigarette and just smelling this is driving me a little crazy. I step into the room and close the door. She’s leaning against the back wall, a large metal drum is next to her, the lid is gone and she’s using it as an ashtray. I walk to the back of the small area and lean against the wall on the other side of the drum.


“Bum one?” She cocks an eyebrow but holds out the pack. I take one and then she puts those away and holds out the lighter. She lights it and holds it up for me. I put the cigarette in my mouth and lean down until it’s lit. “Thanks.” She nods her head and then puts the lighter away. I take a long drag, which I soon learn is a big mistake. I start coughing and gagging. Fuck, this shit is strong. When I can finally breathe again I look over at her and she’s smiling a smug little smirk. Well, I’m glad me almost dying made her day. I take a smaller drag and relish in the feeling of the nicotine entering my system. It’s really calmin me down since I can still feel this place humming. “So, cancer really is your goal, huh?” She laughs a little and then exhales a long stream of smoke. I feel like I’m back in junior high, smoking in the bathroom with the other ‘bad girls’.


“Since living here the ones I used to smoke aren’t strong enough anymore. It’s easier to smoke about ten of these a day instead of four packs of the others.” Makes sense. I wonder how long she’s been comin out here. From the amount of butts inside the drum I’d say a pretty long time, but you never know. This could be the place to come for the girls who smoke. To say all those cigarette butts are hers might be a little over the top. “Look, I know why you’re out here.” Oh you do, do you? I highly doubt it. I’ve been in here what, five minutes? And already she’s getting with the defensive. And all I did was ask for a cigarette. If I was this bad at that age no wonder I didn’t have a lot of friends.


“From the talk that travels around here I know you had a rough life, and I know the ‘superiors’ flew you all the way out here just to try and get me to open up.” Don’t flatter yourself sweetheart. “You might as well leave ‘cause I’m not gonna talk to you.” Really? ‘Cause that’s all you seem to be doin. “Just because we’ve both had hard lives it doesn’t mean we have some sorta connection or trust between us. I need me and me only, that’s the way it’s always been.” Wow, was I really like this? Physically we’re not a lot a like. ‘Cept for the shortness and the hair this chick looks a lot like Anya. Same eyes, same skin tone, same facial features, and same chest size. This chick’s voice isn’t as annoying though.


“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin about. I came out here to see what you were up to. I was prayin you’d have some of these.” I hold up the cigarette and then take a small drag. Moderation is the key to keep from havin another coughin fit. “It’s been a while since I’ve had one. And I didn’t fly all the way out here just to get you to open up and tell what a shitty life you’ve had, ‘cause honestly I don’t really care. I came out here to be with my girl, and so she doesn’t have to be away from our kids.” She laughs a little and takes the last drag. She stamps the cherry out on the inside of the drum and then drops the butt inside.


“That’s right, I forgot, you’re whipped.” Why is she makin the temptation to hit her so strong? “People are all the same, they use you then lose you.” Didn’t the white with black dog from Homeward Bound say that? Dude, she just quoted a fuckin Disney movie. “I’m sure you gotta good thing goin with your girl, maybe it’ll last, but from everything I’ve seen the risk just isn’t worth it.” Aw, so she’s been hurt. She put herself out there and was rejected in some way. No wonder she’s so bitter. “I gotta jet.” Who says that nowadays? “I miss another class and the ‘almighty Buffy’ will be on my ass again.” She walks forward but I grab her by the arm and pull her back. I stamp out the cigarette and drop it into the drum. She gives me this look like she knows a lecture is comin and she’s gettin ready to ignore every word that comes outta my mouth. So that’s what that expression looks like. No wonder people got so frustrated with me.


“I’m guessin you know where the good drinkin holes are at in this town, the demon bars?” She gives me this strange look and doesn’t move or say anything. I sigh and let go of her arm. “Bein able to feel a hellmouth again is makin me a little stir crazy, it’s better for everyone if I wind down. So, where are the demon bars?” I know that she knows. There’s no way she doesn’t sneak out at night. It’s hard to keep a girl like her locked up for too long. I should know, ‘cause according to everyone she’s a lot like me when I was her age. And demon bars don’t refuse service to teenagers, this I know first hand. She sighs and runs a hand through her short hair. She’s thinkin about it, at least that’s an improvement. She could have told me to fuck off and then left.


“The only one worth going to is downtown on Market Avenue. Benny’s Tavern. I think Mondays they have a big poker game in the back, but I’ve never been back there. Drinks are alright, beer, JD and Tequila and the prices are pretty good. And thanks for makin me late.” No problem. “If your girl chews my ass out again I’ll just tell her it’s ‘cause her honey wanted to talk.” She leaves the shed and I’m left standin here like an idiot. I don’t know why I feel like an idiot, I just do. I look down at my watch, I still have a couple of hours to kill before my introduction to the girls. I can’t wait to meet the little slayers. And no that wasn’t sarcastic. I wanna see what I’m gonna be workin with. According to B there are a couple girls who are doin great since she put ‘em back on track. Ok, wow I need to calm down here. This place is doin some wicked shit to me, and I don’t like it. I like being in control of what happens to me.


I was like this last time me and B were here. Giles wanted us to come out here and give some type of presentation to show the little slayers what they could be like with hard work and lost of training. We gave the lectures with a smile even though we didn’t want to give them. We did the sparing with pleasure and I got extra worked up because I could feel the hellmouth just like I can feel it now. During the sparing whenever I would pin B or get her in some type of lock I would whisper really dirty stuff to her, and she got so worked up I’m surprised she didn’t drag me out of the room and ravish me in the broom closet. We screwed just about everywhere. This tool shed is a perfect example. In that corner over there, only three feet away from where Lily was standing, I had B pressed up against the wall, kickin an’ screamin and beggin me to make her come. Alright I gotta stop thinkin ‘bout that, I’m startin to get worked up again. Ok, time to get out of here. God, I’m bored. What to do? Let’s see, I’m in the one place where a slayer can really act like a slayer, there are at least five training rooms and all sorts of weapons and people to spar with, why am I so bored? And why I am still standing in this shed? I think I need to get my head checked. But this quiet is nice. Eww, spiders. Ok, time to get the fuck out of here.


So finally three o’ clock rolls around, and it’s time to go train with the brats. I did find someone to spar with. This intern named Holly. She’s all right, easy enough to talk to, and she has a great sense of humor. I’ll have to introduce her to B, I’m sure Blondie’ll get a kick outta her. And that shower felt great. These showerheads have great water pressure, nice and strong. Too bad the showerheads aren’t detachable, that would have been awesome. Get rid of some of this nervous energy before I meet the brats, but whatever. I hope Buffy’s not too tired when I get back to the house because I’m definitely going to need some release. It took a lota will power not to jump that Holly girl and she isn’t even my type. I don’t like what this hellmouth is doin to my body. I really hope Giles finds a nice town that’s infested with vamps but isn’t on a hellmouth ‘cause I might go crazy.


I finish towel drying my hair and throw it back in a ponytail. Yeah, I wear ponytails now, no big deal. It keeps the hair out of my face and I don’t look like a drowned rat right after a shower. Luckily Holly’s room wasn’t far from the training room we used and she let me borrow a sports bra and some shorts for the sparing or else I’d be wearing smelly clothes for my intro. The bra was a little tight, but it was ok. I think she gave me a smaller one on purpose, but I can’t prove it. I’m at her place right now. I didn’t want to use the communal shower ‘cause there was a group of girls in there and something about a thirty year old woman showering with a group of seventeen year olds just screams illegal to me. So Holly let me use hers. And since we have pretty much the same style she’s letting me use her make-up. And now that I look fabulous again it’s time to meet the brats. I thank Holly as I walk out the door and I have to run to get to the training room they’re going to be in. I know I’m late, I can just tell. I rush in and they’re lookin a little restless. And now they’re all staring at me like I’m insane, oh yeah, the good first impression can’t be going any better, can it?


“Ya know, there’s this rule we have here that if a teacher is fifteen minutes late we get to leave without getting detention,” one of them says. She’s standing in the front, tall, blonde, preppy clothes. Cordelia’s long lost sister. I’ll have to give the Queen a call and tell her about it. Ha, I am one silly bitch. I look over at the wall near the door. Damn, that was pretty close. Luckily I still run like I used to. They all look disappointed, I can relate, I hated school so I dropped out. But I can’t dwell on that, and I can’t feel sorry for them. Feelings will just complicate things.


“And only three more minutes to go. That was pretty close, sorry to disappoint, but this is kinda important.” Almost all of them roll their eyes. They better be careful because I’m not in the mood for their teenage bullshit. The sparing with Holly only calmed me down a little. I’m still wound pretty tight and with no release I’m going from antsy to bitchy pretty fast. “For those of you who don’t know me my name’s Faith. Yep, that’s right little girls, I’m the Faith.” I hold my arms out so they can get a good look. Some of ‘em are lookin at me like they could care less, and some are in awe. Well, at least some of ‘em care. “I’m not like Buffy Summers. She likes to give speeches. Long, boring, almost pointless speeches because no one ever really listens. I know what it’s like to have to sit through one of her lectures, and trust me when I say I feel bad for you.” I can tell most of ‘em don’t believe me but whatever. I walk over to the large stack of blue mats that are folded and stacked up by the wall. I pick up the ones that are on top and set them aside. I grab the one that’s on the bottom because it’s the biggest and I spread it out in the middle of the room and stand on the center of it.


“I want all of you to stand around the edge, and leave your purses and bags over there you won’t need ‘em.” They drop their backpacks and the girly girls put down their purses. They all stand around the perimeter of the mats and look at me like I’m crazy. Time to get this show on the road. “Name of the game is ‘pin me’. Rules are simple: if one of you holds me down on the mat for seven seconds you can all leave. There’s no time limit, but each person will only get one match. So you can try and try until you give up and once you give up and stand or sit on the edge of the mat and wait. If none of you can pin me then…” I forgot to come up with a punishment on the way here. I only came up with the game about ten minutes ago.


“I’ll come up with something in a little while. But if one of you does pin me then not only do you get to leave right after, but I’ll take all of you out this weekend to have a little fun. See, this is called a reward system. You do your best and pass the assignment you get rewarded. You fail and you get punished. Now…. Oh, wait, almost forgot one of the most important things you need to do before you spar.” I walk over to the bag that I brought with me. I put it down a long time ago. I take off my jacket and toss it to the ground. I open up the bag and pull out a boom box. I go through some of the CDs and pick out the perfect one. I put it in and turn on the stereo and turn around to face them. “You always wanna pick the right CD for the kind of workout you want. I know this one is going to be tough, so we want some music that’s just full of anger and loudness.” I press play and the music fills the room. I see some of the girls smile and start to lip along with the lyrics. Hmm, I wouldn’t have picked them for Mudvayne fans they look way too prissy but whatever. “Now, who’s first?” I don’t have to raise my voice a lot because of slayer hearing. I walk back into the middle of the mat and slowly turn around in a circle, making eye contact with all of them, looking for any takers. I see one of the prissy girls take off her jacket and drop it next to her. She’s my height, long curly hair that’s put back in a ponytail, and dark eyes. This chick looks like a younger version of Halle Berry. She slowly steps onto the mat and we get into defensive positions. “What’s your name?” We slowly start to circle each other.


“Jackie,” she tells me and then lunges forward and tries to punch me in the face. I block with my left and punch her in the stomach with my right. I’m not holding anything back at all, never planned too. These kids don’t need to be coddled like they have been. They don’t train hard enough in my opinion. We’re raising a bunch of little babies and the only way they’re going to learn and loose their snobby attitude is if they’re treated like they should be. Not like teenage girls but like slayers. It’s time to take off the figurative gloves and really give them a workout. She lunges again, but it’s easily diverted. Damn, what have they been teaching these girls. Alright, it’s time to turn this into a lesson and not just an embarrassing beating. She comes at me again, this time throwing a fake punch and kicking me in my side. Good move, that actually hurt, but she’s dropped her guard. I grab onto her ankle, spin her around, and grab onto her arms and hold them at her sides. She struggles against me, but I hold her tighter.


“Stay still for a minute.” She fights against me for a second longer but then relaxes. I look around to the girls watching us and they’re lookin a little pumped up. I can tell they want a piece of me. This is going to be so much fun. “Anyway know what she did wrong?” I have to raise my voice, I hope I didn’t hurt her ear. She seems fine so whatever. I wait for one of them to raise their hands. They’ve all gathered to one side of the mat so they could get a better view of the action. Not really what I asked them to do but whatever, at least they’re still here. They’re either shy or they really don’t know and that’s a concern. What are they teaching these girls here?


“She didn’t back up quick enough. You’re supposed to get in, make your move, and then get out as quick as possible. The only time you ever stay in their reach is if they’re stunned by the move, and you weren’t.” I don’t know the girls name but she’s right. It’s Cordy’s little sis who spoke. I’m gonna have to come up with a shorter nickname for her. Oh well, I’ll do that later. I nod my head yes and loosen my grip on Jackie’s arms but I don’t let her go.


“That’s right. Looks like they are teachin you guys some useful stuff after all. And never get cocky, that’s a lesson I had to learn personally.” I lower my voice and get really close to her ear. “Because if I were a vamp you’d already be dead.” To play up my point I gently nip the side of her neck. She shivers and tenses up. Before I can let her go she stomps on the top of my foot and I yell out in pain. She rips her arms from my grasp and elbows me in the gut and it knocks the wind outta me. I bend forward and try to catch my breath. She knees me in the face and I fall backwards. But this is all temporary ‘cause when she comes at me again I punch her in the face and kick her in the gut with the bottom of my foot and she goes flying backwards. Good thing the others are all gathered to our right or else she would’ve knocked a few of ‘em down. And she’s down for the count. Well, that was pretty quick. Then again…I think I…yeah, I cracked one of her ribs. Well, now she’ll learn. I let her leave to go get checked out but the others have to stay here. It takes a couple of hours but I get through them all, and none of them pinned me. I was kinda hopin they would. And now it’s time for them to go back to their rooms. What a shame, I was havin so much fun.


BPOV


Faith left a little while ago. She wants to talk with Giles about something, I asked her about it but she’s being vague. I hate it when she keeps things from me but I guess I deserve it. It’s not like I was completely honest with her in December before I first came here, and I downplayed the thing with Holly a lot. I didn’t make it sound as bad as it was. But what was I supposed to say, that I enjoyed another woman’s touch? No, Faith would have flipped out. But all that’s in the past, I’m going to leave it there and focus on right now. And right now I need to dig through this bag and try to find the clothes I’m looking for. Since Faith is extra frisky I think I’ll do a little something special. She likes it when I wear special outfits just for her, and since she’s going to be gone all day, working really hard with training, I though I’d dress up like one of those old fashioned housewives. I’m even going to make dinner for her. Now, I don’t now exactly when she’ll be back so I figured if it’s done by six then it’ll be safe because she won’t be back before that and if she’s a little late then it can be heated up in the microwave.


I’ve already picked out the shoes, the jewelry, the lingerie and I’ve decided how I’m going to wear my hair. It won’t take me too long to get ready. If I can find my dress in time that is. Aw, here it is. Perfect, I’ll just lay it out on the bed with the rest of the stuff so I won’t have to find it again. Everything is going to go perfect, it has to. I’m taking Matthew to the indoor obstacle course so he can burn off his energy so he’ll be nice and tired tonight. Addison has been quiet and is getting into a sleepy schedule like the one at home. She’s now sleeping for at least two hours, which is good. I know she isn’t going to be sleeping all through the night for another couple of months but maybe for tonight she’ll sleep longer then she normally does. I don’t want to rush tonight, I plan on sitting on the couch with Faith and just cuddling and talking and kissing a little and when we’re both really worked up we’ll take things into the bedroom.


Matthew has been in a bad mood all day long. He was really quiet at breakfast and when I asked him what was wrong he snapped at me and said nothing, but it was said in a very rude tone. He normally doesn’t act like this. I guess he just wants to go home. I get that, I really do. I hated Sunnydale at first, but I got used to it, and I ended up liking it after a while. Ok so I hated the hellmouth part of it but I think everyone did. It’ll take him a while to get used to this. But I think once he starts school and makes some friends then he’ll warm up to it. And I’m starting to debate whether I want to go back to Shasta Lake or not. It’s nice there, not a lot of crime, the schools are alright, but we can’t just live for our kids. Faith and I have to be satisfied too. In all honesty I think I’ve been a little lost lately. And I think it has to do with the slaying. I think I’ve been overcompensating with other things to make up for the lack of slayage. I think I need to take a break, just a couple of days by myself to get perspective on things. But I don’t want to leave Faith along with all of this. That’s way too much to ask. I’ll talk to her about it later. I can’t shut her out about this or things will build and that’s never good. I don’t have a very good track record with repressed feelings.


Argh! That stupid dog is barking again! I swear if he doesn’t shut up I’m going to lock him in the tool shed not too far from here. I think he can feel the evil too and it’s driving him a little stir crazy. Completely understandable but it’s so annoying! How come a stupid dog can feel the hellmouth but I can’t? Ok, I’m being stupid. I know that all animals are extra sensitive to evil and being able to read people and all of that other stuff. Oh, there’s knocking on the door now. That must be Xander. I asked him to come over and watch Addison while I take Matthew out. It’s still too cold to take her outside even for a second. I go out to the living room and the dog at the door barking and growling like he’s going to rip the person on the other side apart. He’s never acted like that before.


“Hold on! I’ll be out in a second!” I grab Tucker by the collar and put him in his crate in the corner of the room on the far end of the couch. He’s still barking and growling, and now he’s scratching at the wire door and pressing on it with his paws. I hope he doesn’t go all crazy like those German Shepherds in that movie ‘Signs’ because if he even looks at my kids the wrong way I will put him down. I open the front door and it isn’t Xander, it’s Angel. Ok, and why is he here? At noon no less. Well the overcast sky does offer the perfect covering so he can come out during the day. I wonder if that’s a problem around here, if the slayers have to work extra hard to keep the vampire population under control. I’ll have to ask. “Angel? What are you doing here?” He looks fine, gained a little weight, but otherwise ok. So, why is he here? He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small box that’s wrapped in pink paper and topped with a pink bow. What the fuck?


“This was the only time I could come, and I figured you and Faith would…be a little busy. It’s an early birthday present.” Holy shit, my birthday is in…three days! I’m going to be thirty-two. And Faith’s birthday is on the twenty-fifth! What am I going to get her? Are we going to do something special? I think we should. We should have some time to ourselves because of all this craziness. I reach out and take the box from him and before I can say anything he interrupts me. I hate it when he does that. “I’m sorry but I have to go. Giles doesn’t me here for very long. I think I’ve already overstayed my welcome.” He’s right, a vampire, even with a soul, isn’t safe here. Some girl might get panicky and stake him out of fear and instinct.


“Thank you Angel, that’s so sweet. I would ask you to come inside but Faith would probably kill me.” I hear Tucker’s barking intensify and he’s trying so hard to get out that the cage is banging against the wall and the couch. “And the dog is going insane. You better go before he gets out.” I give him a hug and then he leaves. I wonder how he got here. Probably by his jet or something. Hmm, well that was a nice little surprise visit, even if it was only a few minutes long. I sigh and close the door. Tucker is still growling but he’s calmed down a lot now that Angel’s gone. There’s another knock on the door. That must be Xander. “Tucker shut up.” I really wish he’d shut up for a few minutes. Just five minutes of peace, is that too much to ask? “Hi Xander. How’ve you been?” I give him a big hug that he reciprocates.


“All is good here. I’m going home next week. Miranda’s birthday is on the twenty-ninth.” His little girl is turning one. That’s really nice. She’s such a little cutie pie. We go into the house and sit down on the couch. “Why do you have Tucker locked up? I thought Faith was strongly against leaving animals in cages.” I put my gift on the end table and look over at the dog who’s now whiny and looking pathetic. Yeah now he’s nice and calm. I get up and let him out and he runs right over to Xander who pets him on the head and talks to him. Xander can be such a big kid sometimes. The little boy in him is still very much alive.


“She is but he’s been barking all day and Angel stopped by a minute ago and Tucker was freaking out. If I didn’t lock him up he would have hurt someone. Thank you for watching Addison. I really need to get Matthew out and burn off his energy. We’re all getting a little stir crazy.” He nods his head and keeps petting the dog. I can tell he misses his wife and his daughter. Katie didn’t want to move all the way out here and Xander isn’t going to be here for very long. He’s leaving next week and most likely won’t be coming back. The only ones Giles wants here is Faith and me. Willow is still gone, Giles is trying to track her down but she’s magically blocking herself. “Addison’s been a little fussy lately. She’s sleeping now but she’ll probably wake up in a little while. If she’s hungry just feed her until she doesn’t want anymore and-”


“Buff, I do have a daughter too, I know how to take care of them. Now I’m not saying I’m the perfect parent but I’ll manage.” I smile at him and then walk down the hall. I knock on Matthew’s bedroom door before I open it up. We want to teach him to start doing that since we don’t want him walking into our bedroom without warning. He could see something that’ll scar him. He’s at the age now where he’ll remember something that shocking enough for the rest of his life. Then again his mind could repress it as a defense. You never know. Anyway, I walk in and he’s tying his shoes. He already has his jacket on and don’t worry he got dressed earlier this morning.


“You ready to go?” He looks up and says ‘yep’. “Ok, I’ll be ready in a minute. Uncle Xander’s here, why don’t you go say hi to him?” He knows it’s not a question or a request. He sighs and rolls his eyes. I roll mine too just to mess with him a little. He doesn’t say anything, which is strange. Normally he’ll say something like ‘stop copying me’ but today I get a cold silence. I’ll try talking to him when we get to the training room. He usually opens up more when he’s doing something enjoyable. He’s more willing to talk then. If I were to ask him what’s wrong right now he’d most likely remain silent and if I keep asking he’ll lose his temper. He definitely takes after Faith, that’s for sure. So instead I go into my bedroom and over to the little sleeping bundle and I look at her. She looks so peaceful, just lying there sleeping the day away. She’s so tiny, so defenseless. I wonder what it’s like to be like that. I can remember what it’s like, when Giles took my powers away. Maybe defenseless isn’t the right word.


Protected, that’s it. I want to know what it feels like to be protected. To have everyone around you go out of their way to make sure that nothing bad will happen to you. That nothing dangerous comes anywhere near you. There is a major downside to that: no privacy what so ever. When you have a kid your privacy goes way down but at least I can get out and slay a couple nights a week. Sure I slay with Faith so I’m not all alone but it’s still freeing and our own thing. When we slay together, it’s like we’re in our own little world. It’s gotten to the point where we know what we’re going to do before we do it. But it’s always been like that. We’re so in tune with each other, it’s almost creepy. I wonder what she’s doing right now. She said that after the chat with Giles she was going to wander around the school, see how much has changed stuff like that. But it won’t take her too long to do that. She’ll probably get bored. I’m sure she’ll find something to do, she always does. I lean over the basinet and smile at my little girl.


“I’ll be back later, baby girl. Be good for your uncle Xander. I love you.” I give her a little kiss on the lips and she wiggles around a little but she doesn’t wake up. I give her one more kiss on the forehead and then I leave the room and slowly shut the door behind me. When I walk out into the living room I see Xander sitting on the couch and Matthew sitting in the middle of the living room floor, Tucker is lying next to him and Matthew is slowly petting him on the back. I know that Matthew doesn’t like Xander but he never ignores him like he is now. And it’s so obvious that he’s ignoring him, his back is turned to Xander and the television is off so there’s no other reason for him to sit like that. I really want to know why Matthew doesn’t get along with Xander. He isn’t afraid of Xander and I know that Xander would never hurt my son because he knows I’d have to kill him. So what? Oh well, I’ll think about it later. We need to get going.


“Ok, Xander we’ll be back later. I’m not too sure when, maybe a couple hours. Definitely before dark.” Matthew stands up and Tucker follows him to the door. Matthew starts going through the box that’s on the left side of the door and he pulls out Tucker’s leash. I’m not going to tell him no because that’ll just make him whiney. And Giles just said that he doesn’t want Tucker wandering around the school causing destruction and ciaos. He never said anything about taking him out on a leash. So, we’re off. Matthew can walk Tucker, with all that slayer strength there’s no way this dog can pull him down. We usually don’t let him because our neighbors always looked at us weird and would yell out that if a cat runs in front of us we’ll be sorry for not walking the dog ourselves. I know we shouldn’t let other people run our lives and we should just ignore them, but after a while it gets so irritating you’ll do almost anything just to shut them up.


“Mom, let’s build a snowman!” he yells as he and Tucker run off the path and into the snow covered lawn. I hate it when he runs off like that. But he’s safe here so I guess I can relax a little. There’s no way something evil will ever come here, and the only people who are allowed on the grounds are the students, the other slayers, the faculty and the scoobies. Yup, he’s the safest he’ll ever be right here. Wait…who’s that walking towards us? It looks like….yep, it’s Holly. God, I was really hoping she’d stay the hell away from me. I’m pretty sure Giles and Xander and possibly some of the staff members warned everyone to stay away from me and Faith while we get settled because there have been no visitors, except for Angel. I was expecting Sissy and the other girls to come over and see how we’re doing and to see the baby. I was sure she’d be a big hit here, but I guess they’ve all been scared away. Which is good because I’m sure that if someone came to visit us Faith would have knocked them out. She doesn’t like it when people gawk at our kids.


“Hi Buffy. Thought I’d stop by and see if you guys are getting all nice and settled in.” Yeah right. I bet you she came over because she knows Faith is gone. Ok, Buffy, don’t get conceded. This is not the time to be thinking that everyone wants you. But I can tell she still does by the look in her eyes. Well, not so much the look but at the fact that she’s eyeing me up and down like I’m a gazelle and she’s a starving lion. “So, are you nice and settled?” I nod my head and start to make my over to Matthew. Why did he run so far out?


“Yeah. I mean, it’s an adjustment and we’re still getting used to it. Faith still isn’t happy about coming here. You know Faith, right? The woman I’m engaged to?” And I hold up my left hand so she can see my ring. God I love this ring. It’s so beautiful. And she picked it out just for me so that makes it really special. “Yep, been together for eight years and still going strong. We’re getting married soon too. At this really nice garden in southern California. It’s going to be a small wedding, only really close family and friends are going.” And that doesn’t include you, Holly. What kind of stupid name is that anyway? Holly, jeez what a dumb name. I’m being immature, I can admit it. “So you might want to be a little careful because Faith gets super jealous.” I think I sparked her interest because she’s looking at me a little intently. Um, what the hell?


“Really? She gets ‘super jealous’?” Her point? “Are you sure you want to marry someone that controlling? Sure things seem fine now but soon she’ll be telling you who you can and can’t hang out with, or when you can and can’t go patrolling. Are you sure she’s the kind of woman you want to raise your children with? I mean, those kind of people tend to get a little violent over time, and her past isn’t the best.” Ok, that’s it she’s going down. Before she has time to react I punch her square in the jaw. Who does this bitch think she is? I didn’t punch her very hard because Matthew’s watching and I don’t want to set a bad example. Although I think I just did. She shakes her head a little and rubs her jaw and then she lets out a little laugh. “I’m sorry, I just worry.” Whatever. I grab onto the sleeve of her jacket and turn her so she’s facing me.


“Don’t you ever talk about Faith like that again. She gets jealous, but so do I, everyone gets a little jealous when they see the person they’re dating talking with someone else, especially someone they don’t know. I should kick your ass for implying that she’d ever hurt me or our children. I’ll let you go because my son is watching but if you ever come near any of us again, if I even see you walking in this direction I will hurt you badly. You understand?” She nods her head yes and I let go of her arm. I walk away from her but she doesn’t move. I really wish she’d just leave. Matthew’s looking at me with a lot of confusion and concern. So I try to put him at ease by putting up a big fake smile. “Hey, baby, why don’t we start building that snowman?” I really wish he won’t ask who Holly is but I know he’s going to. “Let’s see if we can make it taller then me.” I sound really enthused but I’d rather be back in bed.


“Who was that Mom?” Ok I don’t know what this ‘mom’ business is all about. I don’t know when he started calling me that but it’s getting a little irritating. I want to be his mommy. Mom just makes me sound really old. And he’s only six, he won’t be seven until July. Should he still be calling me mommy? I think he should. This whole maturity thing and wanting to ‘act like a big boy’ is getting on my nerves a little. He’s my little baby boy. He should be calling me mommy and running to me when he gets scared and wanting me to kiss his booboos. But no. Now whenever he falls down and scrapes his knee he just wipes it off and keeps on playing. I don’t know about the whole getting scared thing. He used to come into our bedroom at night and wake me up every time he had a nightmare and he either isn’t having them anymore or he calms himself down and then goes back to sleep. “Mom?” And he’s still all about Faith. I know I was gone for a long time but I wasn’t gone for that long! He’s always wanted to be around her more then me. “Mom?” Maybe Willow’s right, maybe I’m looking too much into this. “Mom!” God, what is he yelling at me for?


“What Matthew?” I look down and he’s lying down in the snow. Aw, he made a snow angel. That’s so sweet. “That’s great Matthew. You did a really good job.” Wait. Something’s missing. There was something else here when I walked up and now it’s gone. What is it? Oh shit. Giles is going to kill me. “Matthew, where’s Tucker?” He sits up and looks around. I don’t see that stupid dog anywhere. How did he run off without me seeing him? This is insane. I’m a slayer for God sakes. I should at least be able to keep track of a dumb dog. Wait, I’m so stupid. We’re standing in snow. That means there’ll be footprints. I can be so blonde sometimes. Maybe I should let my hair grow out or something, maybe then I won’t be so ditsy anymore. Ok, I see the footprints. I grab onto Matthew’s hand and help him stand up. “Look, he left tracks. We’ll just follow them and they’ll lead us right to him. Ok?” He nods his head and then starts to call out the dog’s name at the top of his lungs. Jeez this kid sure can yell. “No, no. We don’t want anyone to know he’s missing. If grandpa Giles finds out that Tucker is loose and causing problems then Tucker will have to stay in the backyard, and we don’t want that now do we?” He shakes his head no.


“That would be bad because if Mama doesn’t walk Tucker enough then he gets hyper and breaks things and you get mad at him and yell a lot.” Yeah, thanks for the compliment, that really makes me feel great inside. I swear no one can make you feel bad about yourself like a little kid. For example, it was a couple years ago, he was four, I think. I woke up alone that morning, and Faith was gone. On her pillow was a note telling me to dress formal because she had reserved us a table at…I can’t remember the name but I know that it was a Chinese restaurant. Anyway, it said to be there at eight and she would be gone all day, and that Kennedy was going to come over and watch Matthew for us. So I started to get ready at around five thirty, it would take me at least half an hour to get to the place. So I was all ready, dressed and make-up was on, my hair was done really nice and I asked Matthew how I looked and he reply was: ‘Ok. But I thought Mama said to wear somethin nice?’ Isn’t that horrible? But he’s just a little kid and he doesn’t know about tact. It’s annoying, it reminds of how Anya used to be.


Oh great, the damn dog ran into the woods. I hate going into the forest, it’s really creepy. I know I’m a slayer but still, forests always give me the wiggins. I can hear him barking so he isn’t too far away, and we can always follow our footprints back so it’s not like we’re going to get lost or anything. I grip onto Matthew’s hand a little tighter. I know that we’re safe here. It’s not like we’re going to go in there and get jumped by a group of vampires or demons, but I still worry. There are demons that have the ability to cloak themselves, so one could sneak into here. It hasn’t happened yet, but you never know. Ok, I’m just freaking myself out. Nothing is going to happen. Tucker probably treed a squirrel or something and we’re going to go in there and get him and then we’ll go to the training room. And these woods aren’t even that creepy. The trees are spaced kind of far apart so it’s not like I have to climb over fallen braches, or squeeze my way through. This day just isn’t turning out the way I planned. I really hope things so smoothly after I get this stupid dog back because I don’t know how much more I can take.


FPOV


So training with the runts went pretty good if you ask me. I think we all learned and grew. Although lookin back on it now I think I went a little too hard on them. Hmm…nah. They deserved it. And tomorrow when they really feel that fight I highly doubt any of ‘em will be given me any lip. Now it’s time to go home to the little misses. And I know that we’re not a stereotypical family by far but I really hope she has dinner ready and waitin for me ‘cause I’m hungry enough to eat a cow.


So I’m walking down the path that leads from the school to my new, temporary, house and I don’t have to walk through the snow. It looks like G-man got some poor janitor or junior slayer to come out here and shovel the pathway. Man I’m not jealous of them. I’d probably kill before doin that. That was just a figure of speech. I’d never kill another human again. The only reason I’d ever kill a person is if they’re trying to physically hurt my family. Ok, so yeah, I’d kill again but I’d be saving my family doing it.


I’m standin about thirty feet away from the house. This afternoon while I was beatin the brats it snowed a little more and the roof is covered in about four inches of it. It’s even on the windowpane. It looks really pretty, especially with glow from the lights inside. And B must’ve lit the fireplace because there’s smoke comin out of the chimney. I’m glad she didn’t burn the place down. This looks like something right out of a Christmas card. Wait, what was that noise? Did something just break? Must have because Buffy just yelled out Mattie’s name. And now they’re fighting, lovely. As I get closer I can hear the words and not just the angry voices.


“No!” That would be Mattie. Damn that kid has a set of lungs on him. “I want to go home!” I was hopin we’d avoid this fight for at least another week. Great, and B locked the door. Now I have to dig through my bag and find my keys. We live on a facility with almost three hundred slayers, why’d she lock the door?


“I want to go home too. But we have to stay here. I told your grandpa Giles that I’d help him. We can’t go home yet.” Yeah right, like that’s going to work. I have to give her credit though. Usually when Mattie yells at her she yells right back. But she’s stayin pretty calm.


“I don’t care!” God, where are my keys?! I need to get in there before something really bad happens. “I hate it here! I want to go home!” I really hope she doesn’t start yelling because that’ll just make things so much worst.


“Well too bad.” Ok, so no yelling but her voice is raised, understandable. “We all have to stay here, Matthew. You, me, your sister, and your mama.” Hey, why am I mentioned last? Ok, so off topic. Where are those keys? Oh! Found ‘em. Now which one goes to the front door? Why do I have so many fucking keys?! “It isn’t so bad here. You start at your new school next week, and you can train with the girls if you still want to.” He’s passed the point of positive thinking, she should know that by now. Oh! I remember what key it is. Now all I gotta do is stick it in the lock and turn it…vualah! The door is now unlocked.


“This place is stupid! The girls are stupid! I hate it and I hate you!” Damn, that was harsh. But before I can say anything he’s already in his bedroom and he just slammed the door hard enough to make the living room windows shake. And great, now Addy’s crying. Oh man, if only you guys could see the look on B’s face. Its anger, pain, sadness, rejection and betrayal all rolled into one and tied together with a shiny red bow. And she’s just standing there staring at where Mattie was standing a few seconds ago. She’s tense, wicked tense, and tears are at the corners of her eyes. I set my bag down and walk up to her. She looks over and sees me and quickly wipes the tears away. Please don’t get prideful now.


“I’m fine.” Liar. But I’m not going to push the issue. I take a good look at her, and not just at her facial expression but at what she’s wearing. A dress that has a poofy skirt, an apron, heeled orange shoes that perfectly match the color of the dress, a pearl necklace, her hair is up in a bun, and she’s wearing a bracelet that matches the necklace. She wanted to play tonight. She dressed up like a 1950’s housewife and I’m supposed to be the husband comin home from work. “I made dinner, but I guess it’s ruined now.” She’s right, whatever she was cooking is burned beyond all reason. She walked into the kitchen and shuts off the stove. She grabs the skillet and then slams it into the sink. She grabs two small pots that are on the back burners and slams them in the sink too. She sighs and looks towards the hall, the baby is still crying. “I’ll take care of Addison.” Not in this mood you’re not.


“Don’t worry, I’ll get her. You just stay out here and relax, alright?” I cup her right cheek and give her a small kiss on her left one and then walk into our bedroom where little miss screams-a-lot is currently screamin her head off. This volume goes way beyond me and B. It’s official, I hate to admit it but Addy takes after Dawn. There’s no other explanation. Only Dawn can reach this pitch and I think my ears are bleeding. I pick her up and hold her really close to me and gently bounce around. “Shh Addy. Come on baby girl, quiet down. Please stop cryin. You’re ok now. Shh. It’s alright baby.” I pick up the binkie that’s lying in the basinet and gently put it in her mouth. And finally near silence. The only sounds comin from her is the occasional snort and the little sucking sounds. Damn she’s so cute. I give her a little kiss right between her eyes and she furrows her eyebrows. She sure does frown a lot for a little kid. “I’ll kiss you if I want to, ya little brat.” I start placin little kisses all over her face and like the little brat she already is she starts cryin. “Alright, I’ll stop if it bothers you that much.” Buffy walks in the room and she’s still in a really shitty mood.


“Just leave her alone, let her go back to sleep.” Who does she think she is telling me something like that? I know she’s pissed, she probably had a really rough day watchin the kids while they’re both a little crabby but she doesn’t have to take it out on me. She walks up to me and turns around. “Unzip me please.” This is said with lots of anger. I hate it when she’s in a bad mood. It always brings everyone else down. I use one arm to hold Addy and my free hand to unzip her dress. It ends halfway down her back and then she steps away from me and she lets the dress fall off her and I gulp. She’s wearin her sexy lingerie. Silk bra and matching thong, both dark green. Damn, why does she have to be in a bad mood?


“Let’s go slaying, B. I spared with an intern while I was waitin for the juniors’ classes to end, she told me where all the good cemeteries are. After we can go to that club you went to before. Xander’ll watch the kids, you know he won’t say no. And if he does we can always get one of the inters to watch ‘em.” Sounds like a good plan to me. But I don’t think she agrees. She lets her hair down and then takes off the underwear. She tosses all of the clothes into the hamper and walks over to the dresser. I hate it when she ignores me. “B?” She sighs and slips into some cotton panties. If I had to guess I’d say they’re the ones with the cartoon cat wearin a red thong and matching bra with the words ‘sexy kitten’ underneath it. The panties themselves are pink.


“I want to go slaying by myself tonight. I need to get this anger out and if you go with me I’ll just be bitchy.” She has a point but it still isn’t a good idea. We don’t know the area very well and these vamps are going to be a challenge. We shouldn’t patrol by ourselves for at least a couple of weeks.


“Not a good idea, B. You could get jumped by a group and these vamps aren’t pansies like in Shasta Lake. We should stick together for a couple of weeks until we get familiar with this city. Let’s go together ok?” She pulls on some jeans and then goes over to the closet. During my little speech she put on a sky blue bra. Now she’s lookin for a shirt to wear. After about ten seconds she gets pissed ‘cause she can’t find one she wants. I think she’s just really frustrated. She slams the door closed and Addy starts cryin again. Dammit Buffy!


“Nevermind I don’t want to go anymore. I’m going to bed.” It only takes a couple of seconds to calm Addy down and she passes out again. “But you go since you’re so worked up. You should get that energy out ‘cause I’m not in the mood right now.” She’s tryin to make me mad, somehow I just know she’s trying to start something.


“Come on Buffy, you need to get your anger out before you have a heart attack or something.” She turns around wearin nothing more then her ‘sexy kitten’ underwear and her sky blue bra. Fuck she’s sexy when she’s pissed. I could slam her up against the wall and fuck her hard and fast. Maybe even bring out the strap on. Yeah, I brought that. It was a Christmas present did you want me to just leave it behind?


“And why would I have a heart attack, Faith? Because I’m just so fucking old?” See, I told you she’s lookin for a fight. “You’re only two years younger then me, and you’ve smoked ever since you went to prison and almost half a pack a day since you got out. So if one of us was going to have a heart attack anytime soon if would be you not me.” I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m not going to play her little game.


“That’s not what I meant and you fucking know it. Stop trying to start shit with me because you’re in a bad mood. I just wanted to go out and let you get out all that anger and watch your back ‘cause the vamps here put up a good fight.” I sigh and put Addy in the basinet. I’m surprised she hasn’t woken up. “And I thought it would be nice to go clubbin afterwards. We haven’t been out together in a while.” She pulls on a pajama shirt and buttons it up. It’s light blue with little butterflies all over it. What is she, five?


“You just wanted to get drunk and then get laid, the least you could do is be honest about it. And since when have you been cautious? Normally you don’t care where you slay or who’s with you as long as you get fucked afterwards.” Ok, that went a little too far. She slips into the pajama bottoms and crosses her arms over her chest.


“Fuck you. I haven’t been like that for years. I know everyone else thinks I can’t but I thought you did. Guess I was fuckin wrong. Seems like no matter how hard I try I’m still a slut and a lunatic and an alcoholic. You still think you’re better then everyone else. You still act like you don’t make mistakes.” I’m getting pretty pissed off now. I know I should leave the room, give her some time to cool off but I’m so pissed I just want to scream at her.


“Screw you, Faith. I don’t think like that. I never have. I make mistakes like everyone else at least I can admit it. Unlike you who represses everything until it builds and builds and you finally snap and do something stupid.” Our voices are loud now. I wouldn’t be surprised if the people in the school can hear us.


“’Cause fucking a soulless vampire is a really smart way to get out your emotions.” Ok I admit that was a low blow but whatever. She’s so pissed that a vein in her forehead is starting to throb. This is not going to end well. Oh well, she started it.


“Fuck you! At least I didn’t spread my legs for half of Sunnydale you fucking whore!” I so did not. I did not sleep with that many people. I slept with…maybe fifteen but no more then that. I just talked it up to sound cool. I know that sounds dumb now but whatever.


“No you just spread ‘em for the undead. We’re supposed to fight vampires not fuck ‘em. And me gettin bouncy with a few boys never hurt anyone. Unlike the big mistake that was you fucking Angel!” Low blow! Didn’t mean to say that! Oh fuck! Ouch! She just threw her hairbrush at me. Ow! And a fuckin bottle of perfume. Fuck, she’s reaching for a picture frame.


“Get out! Get the fuck out!” She grabs me by the arm and shoves me towards the door. I don’t even try to fight it. I stagger down the hall with her pushin me and kickin me in the entire way. “Get out! Get your fucking ass out! You fucking bitch, get out!” She pushes me hard against the door. She pulls me back and slams the door open. I turn around to face her. “Get out, get the fuck away from me you fucking bitch!”


“Buffy, please, I’m sorry I didn’t-” She punches me hard in the face and I stagger backwards out the door and trip on the step and fall to the ground. I see her throw something and it lands about ten feet away from me. I hear something break and I cringe. She threw my bag, the one with my boom box in it. “Baby, I’m sorry.” She throws my jacket at me and it lands on my head, covering my face. I pull it down and look at her.


“Don’t you dare come back!” She slams the door and locks it. I could just unlock it ‘cause the key is in my bag but I really don’t feel like getting my ass kicked tonight. I stand up and brush myself off. I put on my jacket and walk over to my bag. Yep, the boom box is dead, there’s no reviving it. I pull out all the pieces and leave ‘em on the ground. Dammit! She broke my Seether CD. I’ll just take what I need instead of fishing through the damage. I grab my stake, keys and my wallet and stuff them in my jacket pockets. Looks like I’ll be goin to Benny’s Tavern a little earlier then I planned.


I leave the grounds at the same time as a small group of students. Three seniors I think. I really don’t want to ask a couple a punk kids directions to a bar but whatever. I don’t really care at this point. They’re lookin at me a little strange. Probably because the bruise I have on my face compliments of Buffy.


"Any of you know where Market Avenue is?” We all stop walking and they catch eye with each other silently askin. The one with the dark hair, camo pants and a black shirt speaks. She must be the leader of the group or something ‘cause the other two are kind of flanking her.


“Downtown.” That’s all she says. I sigh and shift my weight from one foot to the other. I really need to hit something. Army Girl’s face looks pretty inviting. But I can’t just go around hitting students, I’d be settin a bad example. And I don’t think I’d be able to win a fight against three seniors. They’re pretty good when it comes to the fighting. So if I hit and they hit back it’ll hurt.


“No shit wise ass. How do I get there?” She gives me the directions but then says it’ll be easier if they walk me there. Do I look like a little kid? I don’t need someone to hold my hand to cross the street, never have. “Thanks anyway, I’ll find it on my own.” As I walk away I can hear them whispering with each other and one of Army Girl’s friends decides to be dumb.


“Did you really sleep with half of Sunnydale?” What the fuck did she just say? I stop dead in my tracks and slowly turn around. She looks a little uneasy. Good, I’m glad she’s afraid of me. “You two were screaming pretty loud. The entire senior house heard you. So, is it true?” I walk up to her and step into her personal space and look her dead in the eyes. I send out a silent challenge but she’s smarter then she looks ‘cause she breaks the eye contact.


“Little tip, next time you hear me arugin with someone don’t fuckin bring it up around me. Unless you want all your teeth knocked out.” I turn around and walk away. See, I have self-control. The old me would’ve knocked the dumb ass out without a warning. I let the slayer of me take over a little and I start the hunt. I can feel the vampires out there, and it’s almost like they’re calling out to me. So I follow the call and I’m lead to a cemetery. I take in a deep breath and roll my shoulders. I start walkin like I own the place and it isn’t long before I’m jumped.


He tried to come up behind me but I elbowed him in the face and h e staggered backwards. I turn around and get into a fighting stance. We circle each other and then he lunges. I block his punches and knee him in the stomach but she’s strong and it has very little effect. He knees me in the ribs and punches me in the face. I stagger back and pull out my stake. I lunge at him this time, and let out all my wrath. I hit him three times in the face and some teeth full out of his mouth. I kick him in the stomach and he flies backwards. I run after him and jump on top. I pull my stake back and slam it into him with so much power that a little bit of my hand was inside him before he turned to dust.


Damn that felt great! But it isn’t enough. I’m still pissed. Mostly at myself for the Angel comment. I shouldn’t have said that. But why should I feel guilty? She’s the one who started the fight in the first place. She just kept pushing she just couldn’t shut the fuck up. She called me a whore, said the only things I want to do is slay and get drunk and fuck, and I’m the bitch because I said the truth? If she hadn’t slept with Angel lots of bad stuff wouldn’t have happened. I’m not the bitch for bringing that up. She’s the bitch for starting the fight. Fuck I need a drink!


Oh, another vampire. I run up behind him and punch him in the back of the head, then kick him in the back of his knee and he falls down. I grab a fist full of his nasty feelin hair and pull him back so he can see me. I put my stake to his chest. He switches out of his game face and I cringe. This one looked much better with the bumps and the teeth, trust me on that.


“You know where Benny’s Tavern is?” He nods he head a little bit. I pull on his hair and he winces. “So, start talkin.” I put a little more pressure on his chest with the stake and he gets real nervous. But like those little annoying birds that come back in the spring, he starts singin. Not literally.


“It’s downtown, on Market. You ah, walk that way.” He points to his left. “Until you get to the road. And, ah, you-you turn right on the, ah th-third intersection. Walk straight for a little while and it’s on the left side of the street, you can’t miss it.” Hmm, now why don’t I fully believe him? I let go of his hair and grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him up. Damn he’s a short motherfucker. He’s only an inch taller then me. Oh well, it’ll make this easier.


“Tell ya what, how ‘bout you take me there and I won’t kill you.” He nods his head yes and I have a good grip on his as he leads me out of the cemetery. I keep an eye out and let all of my senses crawl in case a vamp decides to come up behind us. I feel some near by but I ignore it. We get to the road without any problems, which is good because I’m not in the mood right now.


The buildings are here are pretty mixed. There’re businesses, apartments, and industrial stuff. Wonder why it’s so mixed? Oh well, not my problem. It’s takin forever to walk down this fuckin sidewalk. If we don’t’ get there and soon I might just kill this thing now and stop by a liquor store. Can’t be too hard to find one of those. I’ll just wander around, kill every demon and vamp that get in my way until I find a packie…I mean, liquor store, until I find a liquor store.


“So, why all the anger? Did you and your boyfriend get in a fight or something?” What the hell? Is he trying to start a conversation with me? “I was a therapist before I was turned, maybe I can help.” Great, just what I need a washed up shrink fuckin with my head. “It can’t hurt to talk about it. It’s not like I’m gonna charge you.” He laughs a little but I stay quiet. We just passed the first intersection, how long until we there? “You know you should-”


“Kill you and just walk the rest of the way by myself, but I’m not. I don’t need to talk about anything, especially with a loser vampire.” We keep walking and I start thinking about the fight. We were both so angry and we didn’t even care that our daughter was five feet away from us, or that Mattie heard every word of it. I scream and slam the vampire up against the brink building. “I shouldn’t be feeling guilty about this! She started the fight not me!” I pace in front of him. He stands up straight and straightens out his shirt.


“Who started the fight?” I keep pacing and I toss the stake from one hand to the other. “And what’s your name?” What, he’s going to shrink me now? Alright, if he wants to get inside my head I might as well let him. I’m going to kill him anyway. I know I said I’d let him go but whatever. He’s a vampire, he’s evil, and I kill evil.


“My name’s Faith, and my asshole fiancé Buffy started the fight.” That was mean but I don’t care, I’m pissed at her. “Ok, so maybe I should’ve just let her go slaying by herself, but I worry about her, ya know? I mean, we’re slayers yeah, but the vamps where we live aren’t as strong as you guys.” He looks a little prideful at that so I punch him in the face, nothin hard, just enough to get that smug grin off his lips.


“Ok, let’s start at the beginning. What happened before the fight? Anything happen that could’ve put her in a negative frame of mind?” Well let’s think about that. What happened when I got home? Oh, she had a fight with Mattie.


“When I got home from training she was arguing with our son. He wants to go home, back to California, but we can’t leave yet. She tried to get him to see some of the good things of living here and he told her he hates her.” Having your kid yell the words ‘I hate you’ at ya will put anyone in a ‘negative frame of mind’.


“Alright, then what?” He leans against the wall and folds his arms across his chest. He’s getting comfortable, that’s good, it means he’s not going to run away. I’d really hate to have to kill him before I’m done talking.


“Mattie, our son, stomped off to his room and slammed the door. The baby started crying so I went into my bedroom and calmed her down. I was talkin to her, like I always do and started kissin her face. Then B comes in the room and says somethin like ‘just leave her alone, let her sleep’. I didn’t say anything ‘cause I knew she was pissed. So I suggested that we go slayin ‘cause beatin the crap outta you guys always calms her down. She said she wanted to go alone but we haven’t been here long and I didn’t want her gettin lost. Then she said that the only reason I want to go slayin is to get laid afterwards.” I scream again and punch the wall and some of the bricks crack. Fuck that hurt, but it felt so good.


“Is that true? Do you only slay to have sex after?” I am feelin a little better talkin about it. Too bad he doesn’t have a soul. Maybe then I’d feel bad for havin to kill him.


“No, not always. Ok so sometimes I’ll slay just because it makes me horny but that was only once or twice. I slay because it’s what I was made for, it’s in my blood and I like slayin with B ‘cause I like spendin time with her.” I see another vamp walkin towards us. I tense up and I know he can tell. Vampires are great at reading body language. He stops about three feet away from me and opens his mouth to talk. Before he gets a word out I stake him. He has this look of surprise on his face before he turns to dust. “And yeah maybe I shouldn’t have brought up the Spike thing, but she’s the one who said I repress everything.” I pick up a rock and throw it as hard as I can. Ten seconds later I hear the sound of glass breakin and then fallin to the ground. Oops.


“I try my best, ya know. We got two little kids together and I don’t’ know what the fuck I’m doin half the time. It’s not like I have some answer book or somethin. This is the first real relationship I’ve ever been in. So I screw up sometimes, so what? Like she’s miss perfect. She destroyed a government operation for God sakes. I try to do what I think is right. I stick to the basics: keep her happy, keep her safe, be there for her, make her feel special, put up with her nagging. And I try. But sometimes it’s just too much.” I punch the wall again and my knuckles start to bleed. I look over at the vamp and he’s just standing there. I guess he’s trying to process all of this.


“And I ask her to marry me and she says yes. And we didn’t set an exact date but we both wanted to wait a while. Then suddenly she changes her mind and wants to get married this spring. Of course I agreed, what was I supposed to do, just say no? And we’re stuck out here until those runts get their acts together so it would make sense to wait. And why do I always have to leave? It’s my house too, they’re my kids too, if she has a problem she should fuckin leave!” I punch the wall again and my fist goes through some of brick. Ok, that hurt. I think I broke a bone. I do feel better though. Way better then if I had just gotten drunk. But that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. “Come on, let’s get outta here.”