Rescue Me

"Come on in, pet," Spike said, standing aside from the door to let Buffy into his new digs. He'd finally gotten himself a place to hang his hat. A penthouse loft right on Newbury Street. Buffy had whistled when he told her where he was living. Apparently, it was a ritzy place to live, and a popular area to shop at too.

"Very nice, William. Very blank, white walls you've got going on here," she
teased him as she stepped into the foyer that led to the living room with a
huge window that took up one wall.

"I'm thinking of hiring a decorator, what do you think?"

She shook her head, "No, why waste your money when you have me?"

He studied her curiously. "Do I have you Buffy?"

She looked down. "You have me," she told him softly. She looked up,
meeting his eyes. "I can't give you much right now William. I can give you
my friendship with the promise of something more one day, but I kind of
want to get my uh, sea legs again. If that makes any sense?"

Crossing the distance between them, he cupped the side of her face and
gazed at her reverently. "Does that mean I can kiss you?"

She looked up at him, slightly dazed. She smiled. "I think that'd be okay.
More than okay in fact."

"Won't confuse you more?"

She shook her head, "No. The things I'm confused about . . . they're getting
clearer and somehow the way I feel about you has always been clear."

"You don't know what that means to me, pet," he whispered and ghosted
his lips across hers. He pulled back to gauge her reaction.

"You call that a kiss?" and she grabbed his shirt in her tiny fists and pulled
him to her, crashing her mouth against his. Lips glided, tongues probed and
tasted, heat crackled and Buffy felt as if she were on fire. Her skin tingled
and she knew with clarity that there was no way she'd ever felt that way
with Lindsey. Buffy wrapped her arms around him, riffling her fingers
through the curls at the nape of his neck and pressing her body against his.
She could feel his arousal at her stomach and she felt moisture rush
between her legs at the knowledge he wanted her as much as she wanted
him.

He broke the kiss, breathless. "Pet, we need to stop before we do
something to muck it all up."

She smirked, "Aren't I the one that's supposed to stop?"

He grinned sheepishly. "See how much I love you? I'm willing to wait until
I'm sure you're ready."

"I wish I knew . . . " she trailed off and broke free from his embrace,
heading towards the window.

"Wish you knew what?" he asked, following her.

"What I was thinking before when I slept with you in Rhode Island."

"What do you mean?" he sounded slightly hurt.

"I mean," she started, placing a hand on his chest, wanting to be touching at
least some part of him. "I wonder if I was scared or at the end of my rope. I
wonder if I was done with Lindsey then as I am now. I wonder if he'd
frightened me so much then—"

"He did frighten you today. I saw it in your face and the way you jumped
away from me. It wasn't the jump that indicated guilt, it was the jump that
indicated fear." He placed his hand over hers, grasping it gently.

"I'm ending it tonight. Had a nice long chat with Angel about it all and he
‘made' me call him and set up the time and place. Angel's going to be there."

"I want to be there too.""Spike, no," she shook her head. "I don't want to
risk putting you in danger."

"Buffy, did he threaten you?"

"No, but my instinct was to protect you."

"Not sure how I feel about that," Spike told her honestly.

"I think it's very telling in both how I feel about you and what must have
happened with him before."

"You still don't remember?"

"No. But I have a pretty good idea. Someone told me to listen to my gut
once. I think I took their advice and it worked."

Spike smiled wearily. "I'd do anything to keep you safe."

"Ditto for you. Which is why I think it best that you don't show up tonight.
Although," she took a deep breath, "I did tell him you were gay so –"

Spike dropped his hand from hers and his eyes widened. "What?!"

She giggled, she couldn't help it, the outrage and disbelief on his face was
priceless. "So maybe he'll think you and Angel are together—" In the next
instant she found herself in the arms of a determined man.

"I'll show you gay," he growled playfully and plundered her lips with his.
Pulling her with him, they toppled onto his couch, Spike on top. He kissed
her passionately, thoroughly, possessively, but she didn't mind in the least.
His body felt so good against hers, she didn't want to stop. She just wanted
to feel all of him. He started to pull back and she gripped him, bringing him
back.

"Don't stop," she begged him.

"Buffy," he groaned and kissed her again. "I don't want to stop. I want you
so much baby. Wanted you for forever it seems, but I want to do this right
this time. I want to do this when there's nothing between us and right now
Lindsey is between us still and while you're still unsure about everything—"

"I know," she cut him off, a tad too abruptly than she intended. She pushed
at him.

"No, baby, listen to me. Look at me Buffy."

She looked up at him. "I keep making the same mistakes, huh?"

He shook his head and leaned in, kissing her softly. "No baby. You haven't
done anything wrong. You're doing everything right by ending things with
him. Whatever happened before with him . . . it probably wasn't healthy
and now you see it."

"I think I was trying to protect you then too. I think that's why I took off,"
she told him, trembling.

"I won't let him hurt you again, Buffy. I promise."

This time when she pushed at him, he sat back and pulled her with him,
settling her on his lap.

"And I won't let him hurt you. I mean it Spike. I don't know what he'll do, I
don't even remember what he's done. All I know is what I feel and what I
feel is not safe when it comes to him knowing about you," she told him
determinedly.

"And that's how I feel about you and him," he told her firmly. "I want to be
there. I'll even pretend to be Angel's lover if that'll help."

"I don't want him to know that Angel is even there."

"Should we go for disguises?" he grinned.

She giggled. "That actually could be fun. But just . . . just stay far enough
away okay?"

He nodded and kissed her sweetly, languorously. "We better go and do
something before I ravage you and throw all my wisdom completely out the
door," he whispered against her lips."You're absolutely right. Let's uh, go
somewhere. To Revere or Lynn. Away from here for a while."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Buffy? Trying to protect me still?"

"Just go with it for now, please?"

He nodded. "For now."