Here and Now

I know it’s been awhile, and there’s just been a lot of horrible, rotten things going on in my life at the moment. But I’m better now- much better. I should be better to you guys, my loyal audience. I’m working on it. Okay, this is an average length chapter, because I wanted to update. I hope it’s good and that you readers don’t end up feeling cheated somehow. Also, my fic “Falling Away From Me” has been nominated- my first time ever being nominated on fan fiction- at http://spuffyawards.tripod.com/id13.html for best spuffy AU.

Thanks to willowmouse, Anon, txjmfan, and Mariana [I may take a long ass time, but I shall never give up!]

Okay, shameless self promotion over with, on with the fic:)

Friday- 3:47 p.m.

“Come on, Willow.” Dawn mumbled to herself as she swung slowly on the swingset. Feeling restless, she walked across the dry wood chips on the playground towards the monkey bars. She knew it was pointless, for she couldn’t make it past the first three bars, but decided to try anyway before looking for Willow. Just as she suspected, her upper body gave out, causing her to drop to the ground with a resounding “thump.”

“Stupid… twiggy arms.” She dusted herself off and walked out of the playground. Picking up her bookbag, she walked down the sidewalk to the curb- looking left and right down the street. No green minivan in sight meant no Willow.

She walked briskly back towards the front door of the school. She rang the doorbell repeatedly for about five minutes, but no one answered.

“Oh, come on!” She yelled, pounding on the door. But she knew that by then all of the faculty and staff were gone. Feeling completely frustrated with large blue eyes rapidly filling with tears, she plopped down on the top step, putting her crossed arms on her raised knees. She tried to not think of the possibly that something horrible may have happened to Willow, but her imagination was in overdrive. She put her head down and began to breathe deeply, trying to erase the disturbing thoughts and images of a hurt Willow from her mind.

“Why isn’t she here?” she sniffed to herself. It wasn’t like Willow to not just show up. “Not gonna cry. Not gonna cry….” She kept repeating to herself.

“And why would a pretty little girl like you want to do that?” A shaky, feminine [British?], voice asked her. Wiping at her eyes, Dawn looked up and saw… her own face. Well, that is, if she were way older, and paler, lack of baby fat, and brown eyes. It was her- her mother. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind about the woman’s identity. Dawn asked the first question that came to her mind.

“What are you doing here?”


SSSSSSSSSSSS

4 years earlier

“Please. I know that I’ve made mistakes- a lot of mistakes in the past. But I wasn’t well then. I’m better now. I’m medicated. I could never forgive myself if I didn’t try looking for her. I don’t… I don’t want to take her away from William. I just want- need to know that she’s alright. Help me, please.” Drusilla begged of the detective and long time aquaintance Ethan Rayne.

Ethan had already known that William had left years ago to join his family out in California, somewhere. But he just wasn’t sure that when he found out where the Giles’ were, if he should disclose the information to the young woman. He remembered quite vividly Wiliam’s devestation when she left. He didn’t want to cause the boy more pain. That and the fact that he knew Rupert would rip him a new one if he ever discovered it was he who told Drusilla where his son was. And, whether or not if Ms. Drusilla Lathan had enough to cover his fees… She did. *Ethical and financiall problem solved* he thought to himself.

“Of course, my dear. I shall find them for you. However, just make sure that you tell no one who helped you.” He added with a nervous chuckle. Drusilla nodded greatfully.

As she began her journey to the States, Drusilla repeatedly had anxiety attacks on the plane. Her hands would shake, beads of sweat invaded her forehead, and she felt as if she would swoon.

“Funny. Never had a problem with flights before.” She commented off handedly to the older woman sitting next to her. But she knew the real reason; pure unadulterated fear. Fear of William, fear of the fact that her little girl would shun her, fear that she wouldn’t be able to actually face them. The last one won out- she didn’t dare approach them.

It was early summer, and Drusilla had finally made her way to the address Ethan had given her. She couldn’t bring herself to get out of the rental car. Instead, she sat there; watching, and waiting. Finally, a man came out of the house. It was William, with now white hair. Still lean and muscular, and looking much happier than he did the last few months he had spent with her.

“Come on, sweet pea. Let’s go to Grampa’s…” He called out as he leaned his head in the doorway. Drusilla held her breadth in anticipation. A little, brown haired girl in a sundress and little white tennis shoes ran up to him and squeezed his legs tightly.

“Daddy! Pick me up! Please, please!!” She yelled cheerfully. Drusilla couldn’t stop herself from crying. She was beautiful. They were so happy. She watched as he picked her up with his gentle hands, mock scowling at her.

“Hey, now. I told you, you’re getting much too big for me to carry you around like this.”

“No I’m not, Daddy. I’m just a little, tiny, little, little girl. And um… I love you?”

“You should love me anyway, sweet bit. Not just cause I carry you around. But this is the last time, and I mean it, Dawnie.” The little girl began to laugh before throwing her arms around his neck.

“Aww, Daddy…” Drusilla sat stock still as they got into the large, black car. She watched from the rear view mirror as the car drove in the opposite direction down the street. She couldn’t bear the thought of upsetting their now happy home. William had done it- they were fine without her. She sat cried for nearly thirty minutes more before starting the car and driving to her hotel.


SSSSSSSSSSS

“What are you doing here?” Dawn, her daughter, her flesh and blood had asked her. Drusilla was quiet for a moment before asking, “ You know who I am?” Dawn nodded her head slowly.

“Oh… I’m here to see you.”

“Why?” She wasn’t sure how to answer that question. The complex answer would be that she still had a desperate need to see her. That she wanted her to know that she had… Well, all of that could wait.

“I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay with you.”

“Well I’m alright. I’m fine.” Drusilla took her slightly hostile tone in stride and sat down next to her.

“You waiting for someone?” She asked knowingly. Dawn turned her head away from her as she answered.

“Yeah. My, uh, aunt Willow. She’s late.” *Aunt?* Drusilla thought to herself, but didn’t question the girl further.

“If you don’t mind, I could take you home? Then maybe… we could have the chance to talk.” Her voice was very quiet, Dawn noticed. Perhaps even shy like. Dawn looked at her for what seemed like a long while.

“Yeah, okay. Where’s your car?” She asked, standing up. Dawn *was* curious, afterall.