Happy To Bleed For You

Through the dark I see
All things destoyed
Open my eyes;it's gone
I'm just paranoid-(Rachel)

Paranoid.

(Fpov)

I wasn't unconscious yet. Thank god otherwise I would have missed the steamy shadow that spurted from B's nose and mouth. It just looked like a really big black blot in the middle of the roof while it stood there,gazing at B. I heard her whimper in horror before passing out. A part of me was glad she was finally B,a part of me hated her,and a part of me was actually upset that all this time it hadn't been Buffy torturing me.
But it was Buffy,those were Buffy's memories...that was Buffy's hate and regret.

My lids feel very heavy,and I can't seem to get enough air into my flaming lungs...she did it again...Buffy killed me. Not physically,yet but in a worse way. There's a ticking sound in my head and the lights go out.


(Bpov)

I wake several minutes later,my heart pounding my thought racing. I had seen everything that happened while I was possessed I knew what was going on,but still...a part of me had hoped and prayed to all the gods that this was just a vivid nightmare,a punishment to for treating Faith the way I had. Through my own eyes but in a different point of view I had seen the real Faith these past few days. As the imposter walked around in my body chating and laughing,Faith simply trudged around like a zombie,no emotion,no nothing. She would speak,she would smile,she would nod,and she would give the imposter warm hugs and gentle smiles...but nothing else...because Faith had no more in her.

Just when I was beginning to think that I could trust her though,my mind would refuse to let me forget the past and I would find myself becoming angry with her again and hating her all the more. I'm guessing this anger fueled whatever possessed me because in those moments is when it would do something like what had happened tonight.

I pick myself up from the floor and my head tries to fly off of my neck at the sight of Faith's crumpled broken.bleeding body. A terrorizing fear and panic grip my mind and I don't know what to do. My body responds automatically by reaching out for my discarded clothes,black leather pants and a sky blue tank top. In a hurry I jump into them,slamming my boots on as well.

I bend over Faith,I have to wake her,I don't want anybody walking into the room and finding her like this alone. Yes I say alone because I plan to run from here,from my problems.

"Faith?" I shake her unharmed shoulder. She whimpers,sweat covering her pale face and her body becoming unnaturally stiff and tense. "Faith you have to get out of here." I whisper into her ear. She stirs a little,her face scuntching in pain. "Faith please." I can hear my voice cracking under my panic.

"Buffy...B?" she draws out,still somewhere in the void of unsconsciosness. I know she's not going to wake now so I lean over and place my ear next to her ear.

"I'm sorry Faith. I'm sorry." I choke. I stand up and grab her clothing and dress her as fast as I can without upseting her grave injuries.
There's so much blood,and there's still more coming,from her mouth,from her shoulder,from her stomach mainly. My hands begin shaking under the pressure of knowing that I did this to her.

She's dressed now,still whimpering and mumbling incoherent words. My slayer senses kick up and I can hear people start to moving about outside our room. Any minute someone is going to walk in here and find this mess...my mind refuses to wrap around the thought of that.
So I head for the door and crack open just big enough for me to squeeze through and shut off the lights.

"B?" I hear Faith's weak barely whisper. I shut the door,bolting straight for the exit to avoid any questions. Once I'm outside I start running. I run like there's no tommorow. My powerful legs rippling with each hard pound on the pavement...I don't know where I'm going,but I can't stop running now.


(Fpov)

The door shuts and I know she's gone. The great Buffy Summers,Buffy the Vampire Slayer,The Chosen One,just bolted out of the door of a sex club at three in the morning,running because she almost killed a girl...that would be a hell of a headline if the council was still around.

But I'm filled with an unsated unperturbed rage. And I don't know why. Maybe it's the feeling of betrayal,or the fact that I've never felt this alone and scared in my entire life. I've also never felt this angry before and I start to wonder if maybe I'm possessed now. Guess I'm not though cause if I was it wouldn't hurt this bad to open my eyes.

The room is pitch black,only a tiny streak of light coming in from under the door through the tiny space between it and the floor. I have to get out of here right now if I plan to make it across town without anyone noticing my bloody banged up self. If I can just get outside maybe I can just call Willow or Kennedy to pick me up.

"Ugh!" I grunt,a wave of pain crashing on me like a tsunami as I get to my hands and knees. Already I'm covering in sweat and my heart is hammering dangerously in my chest,the overactiveness making a spray of blood squirt out of the wound beneath my lung. Oh that's so not cool. Crawling to my feet I find that I'm clothed and I'm truly grateful because I would have probably passed out if I had to bend over to tie my boots and such. reaching for the knob shakily I swallow to try and get some mositure and I blanche tasting an awful lot of blood in the back of my throat...Internal bleeding definately not cool.

I blink several times trying to adjust my eyes to the flashing lights outside of the room. There's only a stripper teasing some guy way off to the side,Dave is asleep on a table,his upper body spread out on it. I muster all my little courage and I bolt for the door as fast but as queit as I can. I make it outside and shiver,the damn place is deserted. I look around for a payphone,but I don't spot one. Off in the distance I can hear music playing and I figure it's the Inferno crawling with a bunch of demons and vamps. But there's a payphone a few feet away from the main entrance.

I have two options. A) I can sit here and wait for daylight and possibly get found out by the club management,get my ass kicked for trying to bail,and then hospitalized for weeks when I'm found and then sent to prison again.. Or B) I can try and reach Xander's house which is closer than anyone else but is still a good mile and a half away and possibly not get arrested or hospitalized.

I guess B it is. Figures. B.

Anyways I limp rather lamely down the street,my head feeling like something's knocking around everytime I take a step,and my lungs burning so bad I think I could fry an egg over my chest in about three seconds flat.I'm guessing B probably punctured my lung and possibly bruised the other one with the knife. The thought runs through my head and a pulsing pain slowly creeps from my abdomen,stomach,and ribs. What can I say? The girl packs a mean punch and knife. Once again everything is drowned out by the feeling of rage.

Why am I so mad? I wanted Buffy to hurt me because I was afraid I couldn't feel anymore. I was afraid I had died and I wanted to feel something to remind me I was alive. It wasn't her fault,it was mine...it always is...

Oh shit! Not good! I've been so lost in my thinking that I completely missed the tingle in the back of my head that tells me there's a vampire around. Scratch that,there's four vampires. Shit! I'm in an ally,with only the way I came through to get out. It figures I would have an ending like this. I would die in the dark,alone,and the world would never know of the girl born to save it,would never know of the girl who fought vampires and demons. The world would never know how bad she fucked everything up...I guess that's a consolation then.

"Slayer!" the thunderous voice booms at me. I wrap my arm around lower chest so that I can turn fluidly and not give away how good as dead I am. There's four vampires alright,but only one looks menacing. He is very tall and is covered from head to toe in black and green leather,his long black hair obscuring most of his face. Least he's got a sense of fashion.

"You called?" I ask in my teasing voice. Shit I must have dropped my stake,I can't feel it on me.

"What a plesant surprise this is slayer. Alone on a dark moonless night in an ally and," he licks his chops hungrily,"bleeding. Quite alot may I add."

"That was so poetic,shut up."

He raises a brow at me,clearly I am amusing. "Slayer...fiesty even in your condition? You should think about begging."

"You should think about getting a vaccum for when I'm through dusting your sorry ass." Witty til the end,gotta love me seriously.

"We'll see,"to his goons he shouts "Get her!"

The first one comes at me charging. Sweet jesus I found my stake. I stay planted to my spot,waiting for the vamp to get close enough..."Goodbye!" I shout sticking my foot out as I side step her and she trips. As she's falling I stake her and she lands in a pile of flaming ash.

"Gah!" the second one yells as he tries to leap on me. I pivot to the side,wincing as I feel like something inside me is tearing into my side. I grab his head with both my hands and snap it upwards then back,feeling his head pop out of place. He eyes are wide,his face lighting up in red and orange flamy ashes.

"Ouff!" I yelp. The last goon is on top of me,clawing away at my face and kicking about,catching my bleeding side with his knee. too bad he's so damn unexperienced. I stake his heart without any trouble at all. "So Mr.Big Talker where-"

I don't get to fininsh my sentence. from behind me something strikes the small of my back and makes me topple foward,right into the arms of the grinning goon. I try and kick him as I fall but he grabs my leg and swings me into the air.

CRACK! The sound fills my ears as I hit the brick wall several meters behind me. I slide down and crumble to a heap,my mind whirling like a rank five hurricane. There's this feeling like I'm drowning and I realize that blood in now freely bubbling down my chin. My head rolls foward,my chin resting on my chest,and my eyes swooning in and out of focus.

"Hmmm. That's what you get for being so damn cocky." the vampire comments,nudging my side with his the tip of his steel toe boot.

"F-" I try to say but I'm suddenly paralyzed. The vampire is quick. He's behind me now and his hand tangles in my hair and he yanks my head back,exposing my throbbing throat and vein.

I close my eyes and sigh. Death is an eternal rest,now I can rest and leave the pain that binds me here. My eyes shoot wide open,his teeth sinking into my neck. Even though I've been bitten once before,even if I had been bitten a million times before,I don't think I could ever have gotten used to the immense pain of having your blood run against it's course in the opposite direction and be sucked out.

Blood burst forth from my mouth yet again,forced out of my slowing emptying body. I can feel my eyes dulling and my vessels collapsing,
caving in on each other.

I'm pretty sure I'm about to die,but suddenly the biting stops. I hear a series of whirls and hits. Then there's extreme silence. The only thing I recognize is the shallow beating of my heart and my ragged barely there breaths. Am I dead?

Nope. There's a warm body close by,I can feel it. It's not my imagination because a warm pair of arms wrap around my neck and waist and pull me up against what I can only guess is a chest. There's a light breath on my face and I find the scent oddly comforting and familiar.

Agains the pain,against knowing fully well that what I'm about to do,I smile...I feel so safe and loved and comforted...

I know who it is. There's only one person in the entire world who could have such an effect on me. I raise my hand trying to find a face and a gentle palm grabs it gently and brings it to a cup a wet cheek...I know who it is.

I force my eyes open slowly and find myself lost in a gray sea of love,understanding,compassion,and all over goodness.

"Sammy." the word with so much meaning rolls off of my tongue perfectly. I wipe a tear away with my thumb.

"Hey Faith," she smiles,her cheeks tear stained,her voice so soft and gentle it's like morphine,that blows me away when it touches me. Lightning filling me.

"I missed you."

I feel movement. Sammy's walking out of the ally now,cradling me against her chest protectively. Her strides are large and smooth,she feels stronger. Like nothing can hurt her. "I missed you too...you have no idea how much." she cries queitly,burying her face into mine,our foreheads touching.

I want to say that I'm sorry but I can't find the strength to brake the moment so I stay quiet just enjoying the feeling of her heart beating against my side,and her warm breath brushing over me like a soft breeze on a sunny spring day.

Here she was again. Here to save me from myself. Here to catch me from slipping off the edge again.

(Npov)

"Please. Please. please?"

"No.No.No."

Kennedy pouted,sticking out her bottom lip in a childish pout,her arms crossed over her chest. "You're no fun Willow."

"And you're all about Kenny. I love you." she said in a sing song voice,typing away at the computer.

"Why are you doing this anyway? It's not like Sam's ganna die if you don't find the other hellmouth." Kennedy absently played with a strand of her black hair,her legs crossed at the ankles and sticking out from the couch. "Where is she anyways,it's three in the freaking morning. Shouldn't we be asleep or something?"

Willow sighed,Ken could be so childish sometimes. The computer hummed,shuting down. Willow stood from her rolling chair to join Kennedy on the couch. She picked her legs up,sat down,then draped them over her own. However Kennedy stood and flipped sides so that her head was lying in Willow's lap.

"This is more like it."

"I bet." Willow giggled,running her fingers through Kennedy's silky black hair. Willow bowed her head to place a soft kiss on her forehead still playing with her hair.

"How do you think she's doing?" Kennedy asked out of nowhere. She wasn't usually one to care about other people so easily and when she did she rarely showed it. There seemed to be an exception to Faith and Sam however.

"Which one?" Willow answered quietly.

"Faith. I know Sam's ganna go crawling and begging right back to her. I wonder how Faith is dealing."

Willow sighed taking a moment to think. "Well Faith is the one who dumped Sam."

"Yeah but she did to protect her."

"I guess it depends from where you look at it. To me it looks like Faith did it to avoid getting hurt herself,and that's just plain shelfish."

"Selfish? You really think-" Kennedy shot up erect,glancing at the door nervously.

Willow stood as well,moving back to be next to her girlfriend. They looked at the door expecting it to explode into a million pieces and reveal a horde of demons or a pack of vamps. "I'll check. That was obviously something hitting the wall."

"Ken," Willow grabbed her wrist pulling her back.

"Don't worry Will." she smiled. She approached the door slowly and quietly,prepared to attack anything that jumped her way. She jumped,a loud knocking on the door.

"Ken! Willow! Open the door please!"

Kennedy flashed to the door at the sounnd of Sam's pleading voice.

"What the fuck!" Kennedy shouted,opening the door ,"you' trying to give us a heartache banging on-Jesus Faith! What happened?!" Ken jumped out of the way allowing Sam to enter the house. The door slammed shut behind her,the bolts and locks clicking into place.

"I-I I don't know. I-I felt her and then vamps and then Buffy and and-"

"Calm down." Kennedy ordered swiping Faith from Sam's shaking arms. Without her concent she carried her off into Sam's bedroom,flipping the light switch and easing Faith into the bed. Willow was immediately beside her,a firstaid kit, and rags in her hands.

Willow looked over the visible wounds which was the bite on her neck.

"Damn vampire." Sam said to her unasked question,she was currently standing on the other side of the bed,her eyes not once leaving Faith.

Willow nodded,not too serious,but gruesome enough. "Ken I need you to get that shirt off of her as carefully as you can." To Faith she said,"Faith can you hear me?" she wasn't expecting her to answer.

"...yeah...red." she murmmered weakly,screwing her eyes shut tightly.

"Oh thank the goddess!" Willow breathed a sigh of some relief. "Sam hold her hand."

Sammy nodded,seating herself as motionless as possible next to Faith. She felt Faith squeeze her hand the smallest bit when she took it. "Hey Faith," her words were tender and frail.

"Hey... Sam," she tried to smile but it came out a grimace.

"Faith this might hurt." Ken said sympathetically,grabbing the collar of her shirt with both hands,she instantly felt the sticky blood on the black shirt,"shit." she cursed under her breath.

"D-don't know the meaning of the word Ken."

Ken nodded pulling on the shirt slowly and with the least possible movement. The shirt gave way pretty easy. Man that sucked. First there was a hole clean through her shoulder,then came another below her lung still oozing blood. "God," Ken whispered pulling more of the shirt away. A deep stab in her side,a gash below her rib cage,and another gaping streak across her abdomin. But that wasn't the worst,no. The worst was the black and green bruise that spread across her torso that caught her attention and made her see the deep ulgy carving on her stomach,the letters scribbled in a way that would cause some hardcore pain and some serious scarring later. The flesh wound read 'MURDER' in bold disfiguring capital letters. Sam utterted a stiffled sob,turning her face away from the gruesome sight.

"N-nice tat...huh Ken?" Faith asked,gripping onto Sammy's hand tighter,afraid that she would leave if she let go.

"Who did this Faith?" Ken pried,her eyes unable to turn away from her wounds.

"I don't really know..."

"Bullshit." Ken scoffed,ripping a sanatized guaze open,"This is ganna hurt." she warned,emphazing the ganna part. She pressed the towelette to the horrible letters,feeling Faith jerk spaztically as she did. "Sorry."

"N...n-no big." Faith moaned through clentched teeth and a locked jaw.

Willow took the distraction as an oppurtunity to cover her other wounds. First the one on her abdomin,followed by the one in her side,then the one in her shoulder and finally the old scar turned new wound. She noticed Faith tense and visibly pale when she touched it. She also noticed Sammy glaring at it like if it were stabbing at her. She concentrated on Faith's shallow face,feeling guilt and shame overshadow her.

Ken pealed away the guaze sticking to the letters,man where they deep. They had probably carved into her intestines and organs. She grimaced as Faith hissed,she was trying really hard to wrap her torso without causing her too much pain,but it was impossible with all her wounds and broken ribs. She somehow managed to do it and keep Faith conscious. Now Willow was bandaging her neck.

"Faith? Who did this to you?" Ken insisted,she was angry and when she found whoever did this she was teaching them a thing or two about what happened when they messed with her friends.

"It's...a long...story." Ken could tell she was in a lot of pain simply by the way she was breatheing and the way she had to pause after every word.

"I've all the time in the world." she stated,draping a blanket over her to keep her warm.

"I rather not." she defyed,but her downcast puppy eyes weren't exactly agreeing with her.

Suddenly Sammy stood from the bed,taking her hand away from Faith softly but in a hurry all the same,like if Faith's skin had zapped her or something. She fixed her gaze at Faith's body,her stomach more specifically,glaring at the blanket as if she wanted to burn a hole through it with her eyes. Her expression was one of pure anger.

"What is it?" Willow questioned following Sam's eyes but seeing nothing to kill.

"That scar....Faith?...it was Buffy wasn't it?" Sam asked with accusation. Faith didn't answer her,simply kept her eyes on Willow's shorts. Sam snorted distastefully. "I thought so."

"Sam I don't think right now's the time,eh, to-"

"I know Willow. I'll get some painkillers." she said a little coldly,surprising them all. She couldn't help it that she didn't like the one person her Faith was obsessed with trying to kill her. Faith gave her a pitiful little look. It was hard not to jump into bed and cradle her in her arms,tell her everything was okay now and that she was safe. Instead she tried her best to swallow the painful dry lump in her throat and smiled shakily. "I'll be right back Faith." she assured her.


(Spov)

Faith gave me a little nod. I stepped out of the room making my way to the upstairs kitchen. How could she still defend Buffy after everything she had done to her? And there's no use denying it,I know it was Buffy. I can smell her on Faith. And who else would have such a twisted idea to stab Faith's old scar and make it a fresh wound as a constant reminder of her past mistakes,something permanent to torment her each day and not let forget how she had slipped? Who else would have the ingenius idea to carve the word 'MURDER' across her stomach as a constant form of punishment? To remind her everyday that no matter what she did she had done something that could never be redeemed,at least not in her eyes. And if that wasn't enough...Buffy broke her.

Faith was used to physical pain,the wounds would eventually heal. But the cuts deep in her soul,from Buffy raping her...that's something that will never go away. I know this because Buffy is the only person for a long time that she would do anything for...Faith would have died for her in a heartbeat just to please. And now...she went and did this. I thought Buffy was simply a scared little girl afraid to deal with her feelings and so she hid behind a mask of anger and a grudge. But now I see her hate for Faith runs so much deeper than that. It runs deeper than the mask of indifference. It runs deeper than her skin,it runs deeper than her blood.

I hear a loud crash and I see that I've just smashed a glass cup against the counter,pieces of it cutting into my palm. I study the blood half interested mixed with the white marble of the counter and glass. I see it,my hand shakes,but strangely enough I don't feel any pain. I guess I'm in shock,I just notice that hot tears are streaming down my face.

"Sam?"

My body turns slowly,like a robot in need of some serious oiling. I'm guessing that the I must look pretty damn mean and downright scary now,Ken takes a step back,her pose changing the slighest bit into a stand of guard. I stare at her with as much emotion as a doorknob.

"Sam,your hand."

"I know." Is that my voice? I know I have a smoky voice but damn! It comes out so low and husky and rasped that for a second I think maybe I turned into a guy. Ken must be ready to have a cow,I wish I could laugh,her expression is comical. Especially for her,big bad tough Ken. I don't feel it though so I continue to stare,getting the sudden idea that if I look just a little harder I'll see right through her.

"Faith's asleep now. She's out of danger. It's ganna take a couple of weeks for her to heal completely though,even with slayer healing." she informs me.

No Ken,she'll never heal completely. "Good."

Ken squirms under my gaze and I pity her. I know how I look when I'm thinking and enraged to a very dangerous point. Add a little tears and some blood and you've good a look that could bring the devil to his knees. Very intimidating.

"Sam...Faith told us Buffy was possessed when it happened and she doesn't blame her."

If you want to get under a girl's skin just tell her her girlfriend forgives her ex for raping and damn nearly killing her. "Figures."

"Sam if she was possessed then-"

"I don't blame Buffy."

Kens mouth drops into a big 'O'. "Wha-what?"

"No. Faith made it all too easy for Buffy to just come along and break her." I can't believe the words that are leaving my mouth,but it's true,it's just the way I feel and the way it is.

"Don't do something stupid." Ken advises me. At that I scoff and once again Kennedy is squriming and fidgeting. I'm intense when I can't tell how I'm feeling except for the bubbling rage right beneath my skin. There's a voice at the back of my head,there's a face that waits inside watching me everytime...I'm spiraling out of control. This is the consequence of loving someone so damn much.

"The only thing stupid I did was allowing her to go." I'm moving again,I'm walking past Ken. She grabs my arm,looks me straight in the eye with this understanding only loving someone like we do can come from.

"You couldn't stop her. You're were dead."

Way to make a girl feel good about herself Ken,"I could have tried harder." She releases me,knowing fully well that talking to me right now is like talking to a wall. My legs carry me following my mindlessly moving feet. My room which I've been staying in comes into view. Just as I reach it Willow comes out queitly,gasping when she absorbs my taunt face.

She opens her mouth to say something,then stops,probably seeing the way I'm looking past her like she's not even there. She drops her head stepping aside and joining Kenny who is at the end of the hall watching me carefully. The room feels so thick and heavy,likes there's this weight hovering around,pushing me down. My eyes fall on the sleeping Faith and my thoughts completely get wiped. In an instant I'm carefully crawling into the bed beside her. Mindful of her wounds, I roll onto my side so that I'm facing her.

I remember stroking her calm,angelic face for hours after we made love on the lake. Her face was so peaceful and calm. I felt so good because I was the reason the corners of her mouth were pulled into a small but real smile. I rest my head on her shoulder,my forehead pressed against her cheek,my lips grazing the fine line of her jaw.

I remember that night and I feel like shit now. I'm also the reason she looks so troubled right now,whimpering and tossing her head from side to side in pain. My heart's sinking with this feeling of dread. I feel so hopeless,I can't do anything to comfort her soul,or ease her pain. What I can do however is be the smile and familiar face she wakes up to in the morning and that gives me some measure of peace.

Soundly I wrap my left arm around her small waist,and prop my head up on my right so that the first thing I see in the morning are the beautiful warm brown eyes I fell in love with.

"Good night Faith."

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I see threatening you isn't getting me any more reviews so whatever. The stroy is coming to an end and I'm already planning fo rthe sequel so I'm just putting them up here so I can have it somewhere where I won't lose it.