Truth Denied

Pairings: Spander (eventually)
Appropriate Ratings: NC17 overall but this chapter... PG13
Warnings: Nothing for this chappie
Disclaimers: Not my characters. I make no money off this, I'm just playing. I promise to give them a bath and thorough cleaning when I’m done! Joss Whedon is my lord and Master. All hail Joss Whedon.
Short Summary: Xander gets a rude taste of reality.
Beta: Tamakin

Comments keep my muse well fed.


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He took another appreciative sip of his frosty beer in its frosty glass mug and would have purred if he’d been able. Been hanging around vampires too long, he thought to himself. Not that Spike is a vampire anymore. He frowned silently and took another swallow of beer. I really don’t know what to think on the whole human Spike thing. I mean… does this mean he’s forgiven for all his sins or something? Like, that he’s a good guy? He snorted and shook his head mutely, rolling another mouthful of beer in his mouth.

Right… because having a soul automatically makes you a good guy! Not like humans who have built in souls all naturally attached and all are always good. He briefly flipped through what little he remembered from history class and the most recent news topics, disheartened that there was so much proof to that statement.

An image came unbidden to his minds eye, brushing aside everything else. Spike, bruised and battered because he’d stood up to a hell god. He remembered how sick to his stomach he’d felt at the sight of him, but a confusing sense of pride too and a fierce . And not all soulless demons are evil. Well at least not all of them are… expressly evil. Or something… He frowned and tried to understand his own thoughts, before he gave up in exasperation. Instead, he decided to think about what was good about his life.

He had a stomach full of healthy food, a job and a roof over his head, and an ally in his current profession that would keep him safe and help him improve. His life was really looking up. Knowing the Xander-luck this’ll all come crumbling down before I know it, so I may as well sit back and enjoy what I can get.

He was sitting downstairs in the club, feeling the music wash over him as he watched the stage. The ‘employee’s only’ booth was small, but had space out front for several chairs and even a lush leather couch against the wall. No patrons were allowed past the velvet rope and a bouncer stood staunchly by to dissuade anyone who thought rules didn’t apply to them while the off duty dancers milled about behind it, drinking and gossiping amongst themselves.

The dancer’s used this time to socialize and have free drinks while showing off the product to hungry eyes. Sometimes one of them would saunter over to the side by the bar and chat up the customers as they got their drinks. The deal was they could stand there and talk as long as it took for the bartender to get their drink ready. This had led to many complex and high priced concoctions that the bar was more than happy to create. The dancer’s got tips and sometimes little presents or notes. It was a good way for the dancer’s to touch base with their fans, find out what they enjoyed and what they should work harder to improve on, and the tips were pretty easy to make too.

Xander stayed far away from that side, keeping his eyes on the stage instead of on the curious and lustful gazes aimed directly at him; he wouldn’t have understood them anyhow. He watched the men dance and spin at their poles, gyrating and twisting with lustful abandon to the music and the enraptured crowd at their feet that plied offerings of money and words upon the altars. It was exactly like the name suggested; a temple that worshipped sexuality of the male form. Xander was even pretty sure Spike paid tithes to the God himself, on the off chance he was irritated with his name used in such a manner.

He looked over when he finally heard his name being yelled over the sound of the heavy beat that echoed in his chest. Chad was waving him over, a note clutched in one hand. Xander’s felt something inside tighten when he saw those killer dimples aimed his way on a welcoming, smiling face. He got up and trotted over, to find out what was going on.

“Your honey called down, said he’s done with his shower and will be down to get dinner in about ten minutes. Got the impression he was in a hurry.” Again that warm smile, those gentle hazel eyes peering at him through sandy blond bangs.

I wonder if he uses a moisturizing regimen... Xander pondered as his eyes quickly travelled along the bare chest back to the eyes. A tanning bed at least, I think, and -. Wait, did he say honey? I have a honey? What! No! “Actually, we’re just friends.” Not dating him! Not! He barely even puts up with me!

“Just friends? Spike doesn’t let ‘just friends’ pick his song and outfit before taking the guy out to dinner. Never mind move in with him! Trust me, in this crowd we don’t judge, we’re just happy Spike’s actually starting to smile a little more.” Chad scoffed at him, shaking his head with mirth. “No need to play games with us.”

Xander’s jaw flopped open as he realized what everyone else must be thinking, it hadn’t occurred to him before. “N-no, really, we’re just uh… friends. We know each other from a long time ago, that’s it. He’s just helping me get back on my feet, nothing else. He’s not even staying with me, he’s at Ben and Steve’s place till they get back and I’ll be gone by then.” He was babbling again and he knew it, but he just really wanted to be absolutely clear on his relationship with Spike, it wouldn’t do for rumours to start and ruin whatever reputation Spike had with these people. He’d probably freak out if he thought that’s what people thought of us. He’d then probably kick me out so I won’t sullying his bachelor status anymore and ruin his tips.

Chad, of course, took the babble to mean something else entirely. Suddenly his smile turned almost predatory as he leant forward, closer to Xander’s ear. “How about dinner with me, tomorrow then? I’m off the next day,” he whispered before slowly licking his lips welcomingly. His breath ghosted along Xander’s skin raising a rippling tide of goose bumps in its wake, “So no need to hurry things along.”

Xander stared with gaped mouth surprise, blinking wide eyed at him as he fought in vain to come up with something to say. Chad smirked and slid a pale gold business card into his shirt pocket, “Be there at eight tomorrow. And wear something… casual. Jeans are just fine.” Again that wolfish smirk teased those luscious lips right before he spun away, almost vibrating with eager glee.

“I… wait… Chad!” Xander called after the retreating bartender. Either the music was too loud, or Xander wasn’t screaming loudly enough because Chad never once turned around. It didn’t once cross Xander’s mind that Chad had heard him just fine and was just ignoring his panicked call to prevent him from backing out of the date. Great… just… great. What the hell have I gotten myself into now? I don’t want to lead him on! And all of this? This dinner thing? It’s leading him on! I can’t DO that!

He groaned and hung his head, wanting to thud it against the bar top hard enough to make the glasses rattle. Instead he lurched away before someone thought he was up there for customers to chat up. He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn’t see the foot lash out to slide between his feet and make him land in an ungraceful sprawl on the floor. What the he-eck?

He looked over his shoulder and saw a dark face glaring down at him and sighed, getting up to his feet. Not Hell then. Just an asshole. He scowled in response, standing up straight and crossing his arms, “What the fucking hell was that for?”

“Slut, think we don’t know what you’re doing to keep this job?” He hissed at Xander with a Texas twang. A harsh sneer marred his beautiful face, twisting the square jaw and distorting the thick lips. Green eyes glared at him full of contempt and malice, reminding Xander of the good old days of high school.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Xander managed to snarl out while inwardly he was back to thwapping himself on the forehead. Of course they think I’m turning tricks to stay here. Why wouldn’t they? Everything points to it. Shit why didn’t we think of this before? He felt his stomach sink as he quickly swallowed back a wave of nausea.

“What, because we’re strippers we’re stupid? It doesn’t take a fucking genius.” The Texan snarled low voiced at Xander, keeping their exchange fairly private. If private meant including the half dozen dancers that were also socialising in the ‘employees only’ area. Now they got drinks and a free show.

Did I just get… did he just… He did, didn’t he? HE TRIPPED ME, the little piece of… Anger welled up inside him, a brewing firestorm of fury that blotted out all his self doubt and hatred. It was like a switch had been flipped inside him. He knew what bullies were, he’d suffered through enough of them. Words he couldn’t fight, he too often agreed with what was being said, but physical violence? For the first time in years he didn’t hesitate, didn’t second guess himself, and just reacted. A savage darkness fuelled him on, twisting his lip in a warning snarl.

“So you couldn’t just, I don’t know, ask me?” Xander growled out. He was fairly shaking with rage when he took the few steps needed to loom over his aggressor, glaring down at him with unrestrained malice. “You know, talk to my face instead of going all teenagery and doing the locker room gossip vine thing! And then tripping me? What the hell is your damage, you little drama whore? Couldn’t have an adult conversation so you had to have a public smack down?”

The stranger seemed to puff up like an offended rooster, leaning back so he could stand up and face Xander with his own menacing glare. “Listen, bitch, do you think you can just walk all over us? Not only are you bringing down our good name with your sleazy work ethics but you’re also stealing our tips with that trampy act!” He poked a finger hard into Xander’s chest to accent his point and shoved the brunette back a step.

Well, that was the intent.

Instead Xander turned his torso so the arm shot out in front of him. He grabbed the out flung arm in a smooth movement, using the aggressors own momentum to move him further past Xander’s body until he was held with his arm twisted painfully behind him. “Guess you do need a public smack down. Listen up princess, this is your last chance. Push me again and you won’t be pretty enough for the stage for weeks. Then where will all your tips go?” He hissed in the dancer’s ear as he pressed him painfully to his knees.

The dancer gruffly nodded his acceptance and Xander let go, springing back to give him room to manoeuvre in case the guy decided to try a sucker punch or other such stupidness. When the dancer got sullenly to his feet and brushed off his pants knees without once looking up into Xander’s face, he relaxed his stance a bit.

“Listen to me very very carefully,” Xander ground out evenly, “because I’m only going to say this once. If you have a problem with me, bring it up with me, I’ll be happy to discuss it with you. If you’re going to try something physical just try to remember that I’ve been training for years and can probably kick all your asses and still have the time and energy to go a few more rounds. If you honestly think Spike would be idiotic enough to do what you accused him of doing, you really don’t know him at all and you probably shouldn’t be working here if that’s how you think things work. Got it?” He was almost creepily still, warm brown eyes snapping with pent up fury as he glared down at the slightly smaller man.

He had no idea where this surge of self confidence was coming from, but he wasn’t about to fight it. He decided to credit it to the intensive training the newly restructured Watcher’s Council had put him through. He’d been trained on how to lead, how to fight, how to protect and so very much more. This was just presenting itself in ways it never had before. Sure, he’d had the respect of the one Slayer he’d been charged to watch, but he was pretty sure that had more to do with the Slayer’s Academy and wow they need to come up with a better name than that doctrine and training instead of anything he’d done himself.

Of course, it kinda helped to be one the original Scoobies who fought beside the Slayer that ended up being so much more than anyone had ever thought she’d be. They looked at him with some kind of awe, he saw it shining in their eyes now and then. He had never been anything special and he never understood why they thought he was so he often forgot it was even a factor.

Of course the dancers had no idea about his history. He felt a brief twang of fear at having revealed too much about his past but dashed it with common sense. It was self preservation and besides letting them know he could defend himself wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

He felt like he’d been tossed in a pit of snarling dogs and had just issued a challenge for leadership of the pack. Thankfully he still had some memories of the hyena possession, so this wasn’t exactly new territory for him. He waited, senses straining for the first signs of opposition and he was almost sad that none came. He felt… good for the first time in a long time. He was in control and able to take care of himself, confident and strong and… alive. He wished without wishing that he’d had this confidence and power when he was in high school. It would have saved him some serious grief.

Suddenly all the dancers looked away, trying to look innocent and carefree. It took Xander only a moment to spot what had triggered the sudden change in tone. A platinum blond head bobbed its way through the crowd, pausing now and then to talk to a patron or a bartender. With a thudding heart he watched Spike lean over the bar to talk to Chad, and for the life of him he couldn’t understand why he suddenly felt panicky.

Though the odd and questioning look Spike shot his way when he was done talking to Chad made those butterflies with stiletto heels seem tame and well mannered compared to the ice toothed beast that was gnawing on it now. He felt his hands begin to shake so he jammed them in his pockets and meandered over to the velvet sash, leaning against the wall behind the bouncer.

Finally Spike made his way to the ‘employees only’ section, pale blue eyes dancing over each suddenly mute dancer and shot Xander a questioning look. He raised a single scarred eyebrow, and jerked his head to the door, “C’mon whelp, time’s a wastin’. Got a lotta hard work ahead of us tonight.” He didn’t even look back as he strode out the door.

Xander followed, feeling like a chastened puppy. Though he couldn’t say what he’d done wrong, or why he felt like he had to make amends… he just knew he’d screwed up.