Slip Slide Melting

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Part 15

“And what. The bloody. Fuck. Was that?” Spike demanded, curiosity and a strange, almost breathless need to know right there in his voice, along with a good bit of betrayal. He’d only been awake for a matter of moments, but it was long enough that he’d managed to replay the entirety of what had happened more than once in his mind.

Xander groaned, his head throbbing where the horns had been, although he was just as glad they’d receded again. His head pounded even more as his vampire’s voice pulled him back to full wakefulness to find himself still pinning the blond, still piercing his stretched hole completely.

He pulled his fingers from the thick punctures they’d made in the mattress, thanking the Magic that he hadn’t still been gripping pale, toned flesh when he’d come. Bad enough that he’d probably put the vampire off of him completely. No need to add injury to insult, and… he’d never enjoyed hurting his partners, no matter what his various demon aspects wanted.

“Shit,” he muttered, afraid to move; afraid that pulling himself from Spike’s anus and rolling off of his long, lean frame would prove his fears right when the blond ran.

“Xander,” Spike added sternly, almost desperately, “Need to know what that was, mate. Now.”

And maybe Spike wouldn’t run. After all, the other man hadn’t asked him to…

“And get your great bloody lumbering self off of me, bloke! Feeling flat as a sodding pancake, aren’t I?”

“I… shit,” Xander said again, forcing himself to move, though it went against every instinct he had—every demonic instinct, because his human parts were railing against restraining the vampire against his will. “I… yeah. O-okay, Spike, just… let me explain.”

‘Stop it, Xander. He’s not yelling at you or cursing you, is he? Maybe he can handle it.’

‘Oh, right. Because it’s always gone so well before. Hell, I had to twist Thomas’s memories, Alex! And he’s still not comfortable alone with me!’

‘Thomas is young, Xander. Spike… Spike is your friend and he’s a Master, right? So he’s seen things that would probably make Thomas go to ground. But either way, give him a chance!’

Spike found himself laughing almost bitterly as the brunette finally moved, placing himself on the bed beside him. “You say that a bloody lot, don’t you? ‘Let me explain’, ‘I need to tell you some things’. Might be easier if you just told me everything, yeah? Save those phrases for things you didn’t know about ahead of time.” And that was what was really bothering him, Spike knew.

It wasn’t that the bloke had gone all… demon-y or whatever on him. Wasn’t even that he’d shagged him bloody well unconscious with a good bit of pain, because he hadn’t minded that at all.

No, what was ultimately bothering the vampire was that… Xander had apparently known what would happen but hadn’t thought enough of him to say anything. To warn him or even just give him a heads-up.

Would it have been so hard to say ‘oh, by the way, Spike, I might grow horns and claws when we fuck; might pound into you like a bloody mindless behemoth; hope you don’t mind’? Well, apparently so. Either that or the bloke really didn’t give a rat’s quivering ass about how he’d react, and that was probably closer to the truth than the vampire would like it to be.

“Please… don’t leave,” Xander said, trying not to beg, but well aware of the fact that he would if he had to. “I… shit, Spike. I didn’t think… I mean, that wasn’t… fuck,” he sighed, raking his fingers through his hair as he bit his lip and looked at the wall across the room. “What… what do you want me to say?”

‘Don’t leave’? Like he was some… what? Delicate bloody chit or something? Bloody hell. And his bloke wasn’t even looking at him, and that seemed to mean… something; he wasn’t sure what.

“ ‘What do I want you to say’,” Spike repeated, his voice soft and flat, suddenly.

“Want you to say you didn’t know something like that could happen, but that’s a lost hope, isn’t it?” he continued in that same emotionless tone as he pulled his eyes from the somewhat larger man and rolled away from him. “Want you to tell me that you forgot, or didn’t think it would matter. But we both know better than that, don’t we, Xander?”

The vampire frowned, not even able to work up a growl, which he knew he’d have been able to manage if he hadn’t felt so… lost.

He staggered from the bed, legs shaking slightly as his well-used anus complained violently against the motion.

“No,” he added, finding his pants and gingery stepping into them, “you didn’t do either of those things, pet. You chose not to tell me. Figured I didn’t need to know, most like.” He snarled softly as muscles complained about being twisted and shifted enough to get his t-shirt on.

He turned, facing the bed, though not truly looking at his lover.

“Had enough of being convenient, mate. Done with it. You want a bloke you can hide things from? Fine. But I’m not him.” His eyes pulled from the wall above the bed and he pushed his feet quickly into his boots.

“Serious obviously means something different to you than it does to me. Because not telling me about something like what just happened here…?” Spike snorted. “Seriously stupid, yeah. But ‘serious’ as far as you and me? No.”

* * * * *

‘Stop him!’ Alex shouted, his voice so loud in Xander’s head that it almost drowned out Spike’s words. ‘You can’t let him just…’

“Please!” Xander cried loudly, not sure of how his vamp had managed to get up, get dressed, and get so damned closed to leaving in the few seconds he’d been distracted. “Please, Spike! Wait!”

Spike paused in the doorway, ignoring both demon and soul. “Why?” he demanded. “Why should I, Xander?”

Full red lips opened and closed soundlessly for a moment or three, and it was only the sight of that compact yet muscular body stepping even farther away that pulled the words from him.

“I… I need you, Spike!” Xander heard himself saying, but it was entirely true so he didn’t try to rephrase it.

“I need you,” he repeated more softly. “I should have told you. I just… Hell, Spike, I didn’t expect anything like… that to happen. Not yet, and not with you! It’s only ever happened before with…” and the stiffening of his vampire’s barely relaxing spine told him he’d screwed up again.

And that explained a lot, Spike figured.

He wasn’t important enough— special enough—to be talked to; to be told. And he for damned sure wasn’t so important that whatever had happened was something Xander saw as a good thing. It was right there in his bloke’s own words. ‘Not with you’, he’d said.

“Spike… baby! Please! Don’t… don’t go…” the brunette whispered the last, knowing his vamp could hear him. “I… we’re supposed to be friends, right? And friends don’t just… leave… because of a misunderstanding!”

That was more than enough for Spike.

He turned back, spearing the brown, wounded and guilty eyes with his own stoic blue.

“No misunderstanding here, Xander. We’re friends. Have to be, don’t we?” he demanded, hiding his hurt behind coldness. “Promised I’d deal with your Lex, and I will. Means I’ll be around and means we’ll talk.” He nodded.

“As for the rest,” he finished, a part of him that was neither demon nor soul crying, “figure we’re done. Don’t care enough to tell me the truth? Fine. But I care more for myself than to be your bloody bitch. Your bloody ignorant bitch.”

Xander’s eyes dropped to the footboard of the bed. “I…” his eyes rose, finding an empty doorway.

“Shit!” he yelled, rolling over and beating the merry hell out of his mattress, not stopping until flocked cotton and goose feathers filled the air.

“What do I do now?” he whispered, laying back on the destroyed bed as the last few feathers floated down.

‘Court him,’ Alex advised. ‘You know where he is. He has nowhere else to go. So court him, Xander. If you don’t, I’ll spend every waking moment replaying the way he makes you feel... the things he does to you.’

‘Oh, that’s a really good threat,’ Xander answered with less than his usual vigor, ‘because I won’t already be doing that myself, right?’

‘So get your head out of your ass, Xander… and at least send him an ether-mail over the magetrix.’

‘Fine,’ Xander sighed, pulling Spike’s pillow to him, ‘I’ll send him an e-mail. It’s not like he’ll bother to respond, anyway… and why should he?’

Xander sighed again at the silence his question was answered with.

* * * * *

A small, dark cloud settled over the Hyperion Hotel, situated directly above the Magus Prime’s suite, although nobody who noticed the cloud was in a position to know which room it hovered above.

* * * * *

“What the hell did you do?” Lex demanded, slamming into his older-self’s office a few days later. “What did you do to Spike, damn it?”

Xander found himself blinking, even as he frowned and held up one hand before speaking into the hexicon on his desk. “I’m sorry, Arch Mage… something’s come up. I’ll have to get back to you later.”

Lex blushed, even as he heard the Arch Mage’s voice agree, the demon’s voice sounding very reproachful towards him.

The warding hand dropped as the call was ended, and Xander found himself looking hard at his ‘son’. “Okay. Care to tell me what’s up your ass today, Lex? You know better than to just…” the same hand gestured vaguely.

“You… asshole!” the younger brunette snarled. “You did… something! I know it! And now he’s all… Gah! He won’t leave me alone for even a minute, and I want to know why!”

Somehow it seemed wrong to be defending himself to… himself. Then again, it was like he’d told Spike in the beginning. Lex might be him, physically, but… he wasn’t really. Not in the ways that counted.

“He’s doing his job,” Xander finally said, dodging the real question. “Making sure you do what you’re supposed to. That’s what he’s here for, Lex. I don’t know why you’re surprised that he’s doing what he said he would.”

Hands clenched into fists at his sides and Lex glared hotly, his eyes brightening to a red-tinged silver. “Don’t lie to me, Xander! I may not be all… Magus Prime-y, but I know when you’re lying! I can taste it! You… you fucked up, didn’t you? That’s why he’s all over me and why he doesn’t stay here anymore! Hell, he changes the subject whenever your name even comes up and you’re gonna sit there and say he’s just doing his job? Hah!”

The older man frowned, then sighed after a few moments. “Fine. We’re having… problems, okay? He’s pissed off and it’s going to take a little while to fix things.” Xander nodded slowly, looking at the top of his desk. “Look, you’re too young to understand about me and Spike. We… our relationship… is complicated.”

Lex snarled softly and slammed both his fists onto the desk, reddish eyes fastening tightly on brown. “I’m old enough to know that he’s not mad, Xander. He’s hurt! So whatever the fuck you did…”

He sighed and pushed himself back from the large mahogany surface. “I don’t know why I even care, okay? But… he’s Spike! I don’t even like him, but… you do whatever you have to do to make things right. If you don’t… well, maybe I’ll just see whether a younger version of ‘his Xan’ can make him smile again.” The younger brunette smirked. “I might not like him, but I’m guessing he’s a—pardon the pun—demon in the sack.”

Xander had no memory of standing, or of rounding his desk.

He had no idea of when, exactly, he’d lifted the boy—his younger self—from the floor and pressed him into the wall, feet dangling a good six inches above the polished wood.

He also didn’t know at what point the horns had forced their way through his skin, though he was certain they had. He could feel them, after all, as well as the trickles of blood slipping down the sides of his face.

“You… do not… touch Spike!” he growled, eyes narrowed dangerously. “You want to fuck a demon, boy, you go for it. But you… leave… MY demon… alone!”

As much as Xander had never lifted a hand to him even once in his life, and as much as a part of him was gibbering in fear, Lex found himself laughing around the hand on his throat. “F-fine, Dad,” he managed to sputter, “B-because you’re just f-friends, right?”

The boy’s laughter cut through his rage much better than any other reaction would have done and Xander found himself blinking as he set Lex slowly down, suddenly disgusted with himself. ‘Like father, like son,’ he moaned silently. ‘I’m turning into Tony Harris, Gods help us all…’

‘No, Xander… but Lex is right. That’s not how you react to the idea of someone else making a play for your friend,’ Alex answered, voice pitched to soothe. ‘You didn’t hit the boy; didn’t try to… well, you know. You just… lost your temper.’

‘Duh!’ Xander answered, guilty and furious with himself regardless, ‘and that’s even more reason to let Spike go. If I’m that possessive—so much that I’d attack my own kid—then I… can’t be with him, can I? He’s my weakness. And if the Darksiders ever found out about him…’

Alex sighed. ‘They’d find a way to use him against you. I get it.’

Lex arched a brow, well aware of what that look on his older-self’s face meant. And maybe his Dad’s inner voice would talk some sense into him. He hoped so, anyway, because Spike wasn’t the only one who’d been a pain in the ass for the last few days. “Dad?” he tried, after another minute or so, “I… look, I know it’s not any of my business, okay? But you’re both just…”

Brown-again eyes blinked and Xander raised one hand, rubbing at the tacky trails of blood on his face. “No. No, Lex, I… Gods, I’m sorry. I don’t know what… fuck! I’ll… look, I’ll never do that again, okay? I attacked you, and I never wanted to be like him, and… Shit.”

“Huh?” Lex leaned back against the wall, completely baffled by Xander’s words. “You didn’t… crap, Dad! I’ve had worse sparring, y’know? I mean, hello! You didn’t even hurt me! And I…” he gave the older man a sheepish grin as he felt his eyes shift back to a matching brown, “I possibly shouldn’t have taunted you by… implying… that I had designs on your boyfriend, okay?”

Well, that was the closest thing to an apology he’d heard from the boy in years. The shock was almost enough to keep him from growling as Lex continued.

“I mean, okay. You can’t really blame me for noticing that he’s fucking hot, right? And we already know I’m just his type because… well, I’m you, sorta. And I really don’t like him, but a lot of that’s ‘cause he treats me like a kid, and…” And that was when he noticed Xander’s eyes sliding back to black. “Uh, and I’m shutting up now, okay?”

“That’s a really good idea,” Xander forced through gritted teeth. “Just give me a couple weeks, Lex. To get used to the idea. Then… do whatever you want, okay?” He made himself turn away through sheer force of will and carefully moved back to his chair behind the desk. A few deep breaths and he managed to unclench his jaw. “Shouldn’t you be studying? It’s six o’clock. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be in ‘Applied Theories of Relative Sciences’ right now.”

* * * * *

What the fuck?

That was all Lex could think, even as he walked slowly towards Master Ch’thlo’c’s rooms on the third floor, picking up his blond shadow along the way.

His Dad had said there were problems between him and the vampire, he’d gotten all… demon-y when Lex had said he was going to go for the blond, and then… and then he’d told him to wait a while?

That didn’t sound like Dad was going to fix anything with Spike. In fact, it sounded like… Xander was letting the vampire go?

Okay, that might not be such a bad thing, except for the part where Spike was still going to be his bodyguard, apparently.

So not only was he stuck with the blond, but he was stuck with Spike being all pissy and moody… and stuck with Xander being a huge fucking pain.

“Great,” he groaned, even as he knocked on Master Ch’thlo’c’s door and stepped inside for his least favourite lesson.

* * * * *

tbc... soon.