Amnesty Is Granted

Angel watched Xander closely, hoping that Xander understood everything that he had been trying to say. He shouldn't have worried because, after a moment to get over his shock, Xander smiled and it was as if he was seeing the sun for the first time.

“Wow...okay, that's, wow. Great, I mean! Okay, let's just...take a deep breath and…okay.” Xander blushed and Angel had to laugh a little. He'd never seen Xander struck so completely speechless.

“Calm down, Xander.”

“I know, it's just that this is a really big thing. I mean, we're friends, in fact even before moving to LA I considered you one of my best friends. But now it's more and wow. But let's face it, Angel, between the two of us we've got more than enough baggage and I really, really want to make this work. You know, for the long term.”

Angel reached over the table and caressed the side of Xander's face. “I know. We have a lot of things to work out. As for the curse...”

Xander looked down at his hands and Angel could detect the scent of worry rolling off the boy. “It's not just that. I mean, it's not like I'm ready for...for sex. I mean, oh god, you're going to think I'm the biggest sissy in the world but after Faith...I just don't know when I'll be able to do that.”

Angel grimaced to himself. In his own worries he'd almost forgotten about that. He remembered that first night that they really talked and how depressed Xander had been. He hadn't used the actual term but, for all intents and purposes, Faith had raped the boy. His boy.

At the thought of it Angel had to fight to keep control. Evidently even his demon thought of Xander as his now, but the knowledge of what Angelus would do to Xander made him shudder.

He pushed that thought away and grabbed Xander's hand. “Xander, I'm so...”

“Don't say you’re sorry. It wasn't your fault. I just have problems with it still and, well, this whole lusting after a guy thing is kind of new for me, you know?” Xander gave a smile. “Although I should have known better. The first time I saw you I mentioned that you were very buff. And I believe I said something about you being “a very attractive man.” I guess that should have clued me into my whole gayness but I just wrote it off as being jealous of Buffy.”

Angel found himself in the very odd position of being jealous of his own ex. “Never mind all that, Xander. We'll just work on being comfortable with each other for now. Maybe I could go to the Oracles and ask if there's anything they can do about the curse.”

“No!” Xander's vehement outburst surprised him. Angel would have thought that Xander would love the idea. “No, Angel, promise me you won't. I don't trust them. They have this whole greater good thing going on, but I get the feeling that the needs of any one being don’t mean shit to them, not even their Champion. I can't help but feel that they just use that line, on you and on Doyle. I don't know what he thinks he's done that needs “atonement”, but I know that you were in a hell dimension for god knows how long.” Angel saw a flicker of sadness in Xander's eyes and knew he was feeling guilt. He shouldn't; Angel had long since forgiven the small lie Xander had told to Buffy. Besides, he'd only told her to kick his ass, not shove Angel into a hell dimension.

But before he could reassure Xander, his boy went on with his rant. “I mean, you'd think a couple of hundred years of being tortured should be, I dunno, penance for some of that guilt? But no, they pull all this “you must rescue who we say” crap on you!”

Angel frowned. “So, you don't think I should be rescuing people?”

“No! No, someone needs to do it and it might as well be a guy who's all vampy and strong. What I'm saying is...look, what makes the guy we save from Doyle's visions any better than the guy getting attacked that he doesn't get a vision about? Why save some people and not others? I mean, we have to have some downtime, and we can't save everyone but why those specific people? Plus, I don't like the idea of doing good things under threat, or for any reward. We should be doing the good guy thing because we can. It, I dunno, taints it otherwise. Well, in my mind, at least.”

Angel frowned. In a way it was a very simplistic idea, very black and white. But Xander did have a point: why were some people pointed out for saving while others died? “Is that why when it's slow you have us patrol? Not that I mind, it's kind of...fun.”

And it was. Some of his most enjoyable times recently were when he and Xander walked around their neighborhood and the surrounding blocks at night. Many of the people knew them on sight now, and they were friends with several of them. Even a few of the hookers that did their business three blocks down knew them, and found Xander's embarrassment around them cute. They didn't even proposition him anymore, but treated him as a younger brother.

Which was a good thing because Angel really didn't want to hurt them.

“What? So fun is bad?” Xander was smirking at him now and Angel realized they were on much more familiar ground. Bantering back and forth about Angel's brooding habits. Not that he would admit he brooded. He just liked to have personal time to think, that was all.

“No, fun isn't bad. It's just unusual.”

“Oh, like you and Buffy didn't make out on patrol!”

Angel had to fight back a smile at the slight sound of jealousy he heard. “No, it's just...other than fighting demons we really didn't have a lot in common.” Buffy would talk about her school or her problems with her mother and not give Angel any context for him to compare it to his life. Xander more often than not asked him about his life at the same age and then tried to compare or talk about it.

“Well, it's not like we don't have other stuff besides demons to talk about. I mean, there's old movies, those cool black and white ones. I mean, they're, like, really old and you saw them when they first came out. That's just so neat to think about.”

“Brat.” Angel had to smile at the “really old” comment, though. Buffy always avoided the fact that he was older than her. Xander seemed to find it interesting. “Tell you what, why don't we find the newspaper and see if there’s anything worth seeing tonight?”

Xander swallowed so loudly Angel doubted that he would need vampire hearing to notice it. “You mean like on a date?”

“Yes, that's exactly what I mean. I may not be up on modern dating practices but, from what little I do know, a movie and dinner afterwards is a good first date type thing to do.”

“Oh, wow. That would be great! Thanks! I'll go look for it.” Xander got up to search for the paper but stopped at the elevator going up to the office. “You know, we'll have to talk more, about the curse and other stuff.”

Angel grimaced. “I know, Xander. I just figured we've both reached our limit for serious talk for one day.”

Xander all but bounced into the elevator. “You've got that right. Any more talk about emotions and stuff and we'll grow boobs or something. I can't wait to see the movie listings.”

The machinery came to life and Xander was halfway upstairs before Angel realized they hadn't even kissed yet. Oh well, there would be time enough tonight at the movie. He'd take Xander somewhere nice but not fancy afterwards.

He listened closely, enjoying the sounds of a happy Xander walking on the floor directly above him. He'd found if he sat there quietly near the air conditioning vent he could even hear it when Xander talked to himself.

It was nice, hearing him humming under his breath. For the first time since he was returned from hell, Angel actually had hope for the future.

*****

The problem with LA, Xander decided, was that it had way too many theaters, cinemas, movie houses. He had to find the perfect one, or at least the perfect page to show Angel. Maybe he should take the whole entertainment part of the newspaper down and let Angel choose; after all, he was the one who’d asked Xander on a date.

Xander tried not to get too nervous but he felt like his knees were jello. He'd woken up, been depressed, had a giant breakfast cooked by his unrequited love and then had his love requited. Could love be requited, was it actually a word? You didn't hear that too much in the romantic movies. Not that he watched them or anything. Not him, he was manly.

Xander bit his lip to keep from groaning and sat down hard in his chair. God, he'd been fooling himself for so long. No wonder Larry had made pass after pass at him; he was as queer as a three dollar bill! What straight man actually knew how to French braid? Well, unless he was being paid to do it. Or, you know, had kids.

“Oh my god, I am so very gay.” He felt like laughing or singing or twirling around in circles. Not even having Cordy admit to others about their relationship had made him feel this good.

He, Xander Harris, was going on a date. With Angel. And Angel actually liked him. Xander shook his head to clear his chaotic thoughts; if he wasn't careful he'd end up doodling their names on bridge overpasses or something. He could feel the goofy grin overtaking his face but he wasn't going to worry about that now.

Instead he gathered up all the papers. Angel had asked him out, and had seen most of the movies when they first came out so Xander decided to let him choose. Maybe Xander could get Angel to eat some sort of junk food, although getting the brooding vampire eating something called Goobers would probably require an act of God. It was a fun image, though, and he figured he'd try just to see the look on Angel's face.

Just then the door to the office opened and Doyle breezed in. Xander realized his happiness was still etched on his face when the Irishman grinned at him. “So the bastard spoke up this morning, did he?”

Xander could feel himself blushing. “Yeah. We talked some. It's not all worked out yet, but he asked me to a movie. Thanks. I mean, Angel said that you talked some sense into him...”

“Yeah, well, we both know he's not the full shilling sometimes. I was happy to knock some sense into his thick skull. He gives you any guff, you come to me, I'll use the older brother routine and thump him for you.”

For some reason, that sentiment brought a lump to Xander's throat and made his eyes all stinging. He'd always envied people who had brothers and sisters, who weren't the only child. “I—I've always wanted a big brother. I don't know what to say.”

Doyle walked over and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Don't say anything then, but remember, as your older brother I get to make fun of your choice in boys, your clothes, and, well, everything really. It's the older brother's prerogative to make your life a living hell. I just won't let anyone else do it to you.”

Xander found himself grinning, yet again. His face muscles were going to get tired if he kept it up too much longer. “Deal. But I get to embarrass you at every turn, too.” Xander returned the one armed hug and nudged Doyle with his hip. “Hey, does this mean I get to ask you about your weird eye condition?”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

Doyle sounded nervous so Xander smiled and didn't draw away. “Well, you know, like last night. When we were pulling Angel onto the roof, your eyes went all red for a second. Sorta like Angel's when he's getting angry or worked up about something. Wanna share? I'll tell you the embarrassing tale of how Xander ate Herbert, the school mascot, in return.”

Doyle started to pull back but Xander didn't let him. In fact, he turned on the puppy dog eyes and pouted a bit at the older man. Doyle gave in with a laugh. “Fecking hell, boy, turn 'em off! I'll tell, all right. You just might not like what you hear. I'm only half human. Part of me's demon.”

“Huh.” Xander hadn't been expecting that but he wasn't too surprised. “You don't have a forked tongue; is anything...else forked?”

“HEY!” There was a cuff to the side of his head and Xander grinned. “The state of my knackers, and if they're forked or not, are none of your business, boyo. I think you're taking the annoying little brother thing too far. Nah, I just go all spiney if I want, and get red eyes. Makes me a bit faster, a bit stronger. Nothing much, though.”

“Spines? Can you shoot them, like across the room or something?”

Doyle gave him an odd look. “No, sorry.”

“Are they at least poisonous?”

“No. Look, they're just spines. See?” Doyle's face shifted and he stood there, dark hair, greenish/blue skin, spines and red eyes.

Xander sighed and acted like he was disappointed. “Man, that sucks. All those cool spines and they're not even deadly. You got gypped.” And really, he wasn't that freaked out about it. Once upon a time he probably would have been, but then again once upon a time he wasn't about to go on a date with a two hundred plus year old vampire.

Suddenly an arm was around his neck and Doyle was forcing him to bend over and giving him the nuggie of a lifetime. “I'll show you what “sucks”, you little git. I taught school for three years; I know how to give a master wedgie, you little monster!”

Xander broke out in laughter, gasping for breath and trying to speak but laughing too hard to do so. Finally he drew in enough breath. “HEY! Watch the hair!”

“Be nice or I'll take you down and give you a swirly in the loo. That'll make a right holy show of you in front of your boyfriend.”

“Uncle! I give up! You win!” Xander continued laughing even when Doyle released him.

“Brat!” Doyle was smirking, though, and he didn't look nearly as worried. It was odd, knowing that the other man had been worried about how he was going to react.

“Come on, let's go down and talk to Angel. He promised me a movie tonight. You can threaten him if you want. That might be funny.”

They walked to the elevator and Doyle closed the cage before starting it down. “What, you're not gonna mind if I threaten him on your behalf?”

Xander snorted. “Yeah, right. We might like each other and be all coupley but if I don't give him a hard time he'll think I've been snatched by pod people. By now it's part of who we are.” Then he grinned. “Now I get to give you a hard time, too. I wonder if Angel knows your middle name?”

“You start on my middle name, I'll find yours out!” Doyle was grinning despite his threat and Xander grinned back.

“But, Doyle, Angel wants me to be happy. He likes me likes me. If he's smart he'll know that telling you my middle name will get him in the dog house.” He opened the gate and all but ran out, the newspaper with movie listings crumpled in his hands from their earlier horseplay.

Xander found himself wanting to go out and buy a calendar or something so he'd never forget the date. He'd gotten a boyfriend and a brother all in one day. Life, for once, was good.

*****