Hell Is In the Details
The Devil Incarnate
"Courier New"'>Hell Is In the Details – Chapter 13 – The Devil Incarnate
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Spike glared desperately at Lorne. “Go!” he
begged. “Catch her before she leaves.”
Lorne didn’t bother answering, just ran out
of the room and down the stairs. In the main room, he found Buffy angrily
rooting through the contents of his desk, tossing things about like a wild
woman.
“Buffy, wait.”
"Courier New"'> He gulped to catch his breath. “Girlfriend, you can’t just go
off half cocked. First of all, you’ve left one very upset vampire upstairs.”
She snarled at him. “I was looking for a
piece of mail with the damned address on it, so I could call a cab and head
back to Wolfram & Hart.” Waving the frame wildly in the air, she fumed.
“How could he do this? Spike is his family! Or was his
family. I just don’t get how a piece of paper can separate someone from
his own bloodline.”
Impeccably timed, at the mention of the
vampire’s name, there came a loud thump from upstairs, followed by a stream of
the bluest curses ever uttered.
Lorne winced. “Damn, I’m
to leave. Are you coming back upstairs with me, cutie? I have a feeling someone
needs our help.”
With a sigh, and her righteous anger abated
only for the moment, Buffy followed the empath back
upstairs… to find Spike sprawled on the floor, robe and blanket twisted around
his naked body, exposing far more damaged skin than she had seen before.
Even from the floor, Spike was an imposing
figure in his anger. “You bloody, stupid, thoughtless, buggering
half-day, and you’re making decisions that aren’t yours to bloody well make –
about things you don’t understand.”
Buffy was stunned. He hadn’t cursed her out
in years, ~outside of pillow-talk, that
is!~ and it cut her to the quick. After all, she’d
been off in his defense and… oh damn. That must be part of it, his damned
pride. And then she realized he was still a muddle on the floor, unmoving.
Her eyes widened with the knowledge that he
was unable to stand ~Oh, no
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“Christ, Spike. I didn’t know. I’m so
sorry…” The image of pink scar tissue in very tender places was going to remain
with her for a long, long time.
“Summers, if I had any pride left at all
where you’re concerned, I’d kick you the hell out of heBut,But, I don’t and
there ain’t nothing you
haven’t seen before. Just a bit more banged up than usual, s’all.”
His bravado all but gone, he whispered, “Just help me up… please.”
As if snapping out of a trance, Lorne strode
to the vampire’s side, and with Buffy’s help, settled Spike back into bed,
pulling the robe closed once more to cover the damage still evident on his
skin.
Lorne looked pointedly at Spike. “If you
two kiddies are okay, I’m gonna make myself scarce
for a bit. Seems as if you have a few issues that need
airing. If you need me, I’ll be downstairs. Just give a holler.”
When they were alone, Spike reached out.
Grabbing Buffy’s hand, he gently tugged, until she was sitting on the side of
the bed next to him. She stared fixedly at the wall, unwilling to look at him.
Spike sighed. “I’m sorry, pI diI didn’t
mean to take off so on you. First thought I had was ‘Bloody hell, she’s such a
magnificent bitch, all puffed up with Slayer strength.’ Problem is
& Hart has in place. You’d never get near ‘im in
the state you’re in.” He paused, unsure as to how much the girl had actually
heard. “Buffy, luv, look at me.”
She turned, tears gliding down her cheeks.
“What the hell did they do to you, Spike.
tell me you’re not… again.” She couldn’t bring herself to form the words. The
thought of him being stuck in a wheelchair again made her ill.
“No, sweet
girl. Not paralyzed, not this time.” Spike
cupped her chin, raising her head to look into her eyes – to see the compassion
shining there, just for him. “There’s been some nerve damage and they don’t
hold my weight yet.” Wiggling his toes, he smiled. “See? I’ll be right as rain
soon enough, I bloody well hope.”
Like a little girl, Buffy wiped her teary
eyes and runny nose on the back of her hand. “I’m so tired of seeing you hurt,
Spike. Especially if I’m to blame.”
Spike snorted. “
I know I’ve said it’s always all about you, Buffy – an’ it might have been what
ticked over the poof, but this shite wasn’t anything
you can take blame for.”
“Well, it’s not all about me, I get that.
So why don’t you tell me what that… that… paper means to you,” she spat,
pointing at the frame she’d dropped on the floor, earlier.
“Dunno how much
you know about vampire lineage, pet… but I can make it simple. You can trace
your family backwards, from your father and mother – to their fathers and
mothers, right?”
Buffy nodded.
“Vampires trace their lineage from the
beginning – the head of their Order. In my case, the Watchers diaries got
my lot. Aurelius turned the Master, who turned Darla, who turned Angelus, who
turned Dru – who drained me… but it was Angelus who
actually turned me.”
Exasperation colored her voice, “Another
lie, then. What is it with you guys lying to me over
and over again? Do I have a ‘not worthy of the truth’ sign stamped on my
forehead? Why would you deny Angel as your Sire? Isn’t that just as bad as what
he did to you?”
Spike stiffened, the weight of his impending
confession causing his shoulders to slump. “Buffy, when we had our ‘discussion’
about Spike – the Slayer of Slayers, we weren’t exactly best mates, were we? I
lied. Was pissed off at the stupid pillock for near a
century, and denied his role in my life to you and everyone else.
might have hated the bastard, but for over twenty years, he was my bloody God
and Father.”
Buffy reached out for him – to offer what
comfort she could, but he flinched away, pulling tighter into himself.
“What Angel did, was cast me out of the
family and out of the whole bloody Order. He denied me to himself, and the rest
of the demon world.you you have any idea how many demons have seen that by now?
Have heard of my disgrace? This was the worst insult he could have done.
Selling Sire’s Rights means the vamp – usually an incorrigible fledge – cannot
be taught to mind. Too bloody stupid to be brought to heel and become a working
part of the family unit, he’s better off elsewhere or dusted.”
Raising his head, Spike looked directly
into Buffy’s eyes, boring into her very soul. “Luv, I
was one of the youngest Master Vampires in the history of our Order.
against all odds after the soul hobbled our Father.
burden on anyone since I’m ten years turned. Can you even begin to understand
what his betrayal meant to me? What it still means to me?
“
"Courier New"'> No little Buffy, firstborn of the Summers
clan. No elder sister to Dawn. No Buffy, ever. An everyone
knowin’ you’re still here – walkin’
around, unwanted and meaning less than trash to those who bore you.”
This time, Buffy pushed through the
anguished vampire’s defenses, gathering Spike into hrms rms and rocking him
gently. Mercifully, he relaxed into her embrace, accepting her comfort and
gaining strength from it.
“S’why I gave up
fighting, once I found out my lot in life. The demon who’d bought me took great
delight in telling me how worthless I was to my Sire. He cut me – scarred me.”
Spike brought Buffy’s hand to his neck, where Angelus had claimed him. “He
desecrated the familial mark. Everyone would be able to tell I’d been ousted
from my Order. I’d have been better off dusted.”
Buffy looked at the bite mark, or rather
where the mark had been defaced. An ugly jagged cut bisected the claim. She
stroked her fingers over the mark, then placed a kiss
on the same spot.
“Never worthless, Spike,” she murmured.
Relief flooded his system.
this level of compassion from the girl.
the years, but this directly involved Angel in the role of twat, and she’d
never been able to accept that before. He burrowed deeper into her arms, allowing
himself the comfort for a while longer.
For her part, Buffy relished the feel of
the vampire in her arms. Spike was hurting, badly. And for a change, she was
able to offer him relief, as he’d often done for her in those horrid days fresh
from the grave. It felt damned good as she gently stroked his strong back,
fingers playing in the soft curls at the nape of his neck.
She branched out, running her fingers in
figure eights over Spike’s shoulders, when he flinched. Buffy pulled the robe
away from his shoulders, noting the massive discoloration still in evidence.
“Alright, Spike, this has gone far enough,”
Buffy demanded, releasing him from the cradle of her arms. “What the fuck
happened to you at this place? If you’ve been here for four days, glutting on
the best that humans can shed, according to Lorne… why the hell are you still
all banged up? These have got to be long standing injuries. Talk to me, please.
I need to understand.”
Spike closed the robe around his body,
easing back to lie on the pillows. “S’not
an easy tale to tell, pet. Haven’t even spoken of it to Lorne, and since
he’n Gunn are the ones who found me passed out cold,
I’d wager what they found was worse’n I remember.”
“You need to tell someone,” she encouraged.
“Believe me, when you hold stuff back, a w a whole world of badness. You
remember ourr frr from hell? If I can spare you that, it’s worth listening to
it all now. I may not be all stoic-y, but I’ll listen.”
Spike sighed. “Just do me a favor an’ don’t
look at me for a bit. I couldn’t bear to see you, hearin’
all that was done.”
Buffy nodded and turned around, backing up
on the bed until she could rest her head against his shoulder.
just… hold onto me, and tell me what you can.”
He placed a kiss on the crown of her head,
grateful for her warmth; grounding him for the personal hell he was about to
unleash.
“I remember comin’ to, face to
face with a S’lugith demon –
not one of ove overly beastly types – all red hair and little horns.
up with kept me sluggish and muzzy, so’s fighting
wasn’t the wisest way to go. He stripped me, an’ I don’t think I wore another
stitch of clothing until I came to, here.” Spike’s hand crept into Buffy’s lap,
fingers intertwining; another point of contact and comfort.
“The tosser shaved me, bare as a
babe – and had me collared, cuffed, ringed an’ chained
to the wall. Left me hungry, too. Can’t say as much as
it mattered at that point, just slept the best I d. Td. The real fun started
thet dat day.”
Spike’s fingers tightened around Buffy’s, finding strength
in her quiet acceptance. “He cuffed me open like a bloody starfish on the cot I
slept on, pet,” he sobbed. “He gagged me and fucked me and if I had a wish
again. To stay dead. And every day for weeks he did
the same bloody thing.”
Buffy couldn’t stand it anymore. Spike’s chest hitched from
the emotions roiling through his body. She turned around and kneeled up,
straddling his slender hips and wrapped her arms around his trembling torso.
“C’mon, baby. You can get through this,” she crooned. “Get
it all out and we can move past it. I’m not going anywhere.”
Spike calmed slightly in her arms, enough to go on. “It all
went wonky from there. I lost track of time. S’like I
wasn’t there no more, an’ I donnow now where I went.
Went hungry lots, the S’lugith stopped
again, he sent other demons in to me. Bit one, I think – far as I can remember.
Lost m’fangs ft.”
That was all she could take. Disentangling herself, Buffy
ran to the bathroom and tossed up the refreshments she’d had earlier. She
splashed water on her face and rinsed her mouth before walking back into the
bedroom.
Carefully, she sat back down on the bed. Spike had resettled
himself on the pillows, looking far calmer than he had been when she left.
“M’alright, Slayer.
look.” He opened his mouth, showing her his almost fully erupted incisors.
She ran her finger gently along the gumline, as if
reassuring herself that he was indeed, fine.
“Luv, I don’t know how to thank
you. For just listenin’ and not
help… it hurts. Demon and soul, pet. We’re just lost.”
Buffy shook her head. “You need to listen to me, Spike. You
are not alone. From now on, you’ll always have me by your side. You need anything,
and I’ll do what I can. Right now, I have to go back to Angel. He’ll get
awfully suspicious if Lorne doesn’t bring me back. But I promise you… I’ll see
you later this evening. I just need… to clear my head and settle some things.”
Spike relaxed further into the bedclothes, weariness evident
in every line of his being. “Don’t do anything stupid, pet. I need you back
here. Not gonna lose you again,” he slurred, well on
his way to falling asleep after his emotional upheaval.
“Don’t you worry, Spike,” Buffy promised. “I’ll be back.”
Brushing a few errant curls from his forehead, she kissed him, and left.
Less than an hour later, she stood outside the door to
Angel’s office.
Angel looked up from his paperwork. “Buffy! Glad to see
you’re back from your day with Lorne. How’d it go?”
“It was cool. Saw lots of interesting things,” she said.
“Actually, shopping is overrated. I did enjoy spending time with Lorne. He’s
got the dirt on so many people. You’d be amazed we gwe gossiped about.”
“Nah, Lorne’s got dirt on everyone. I’d hate to piss him
off. I’m glad he kept you entertained, ‘cause this
paperwork will be the death of me. I’ve still got hours to go, baby. Can you
keep yourself busy?”
~No way
so much. Couldn’t you just cancel the rest of your appointments for the day?
Please? For me?”
One look at her pretty face, and he was lost. “You’re not
good for the company, Buffy, but I can’t refuse you when you beg so prettily.”
A few phone calls later, and he was free.
“Good!” She climbed onto his lap. “I’ve got so much to share
with you, Angel… I don’t know quite where to begin.”