Needed

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the setting of the story. All things I borrowed from the Buffyverse are a creation of and belong to Joss Whedon.

Timeline: more than 9years after NFA ("Angel"), 10 after "Chosen" (BtVS)

Beta: Rachael

Feedback greatly appreciated. Please review!

Chapter 15

"What if the circle doesn't work?" he asked instead.

Faith suddenly pulled away from him. Before he could protest or apologize or beg for her to come back, she was next to him, pushing him down on the bed and straddling his lap. Wesley smiled lightheaded with relief. He put his hands on her waist and waited for her to come down to him.

Their gazes remained locked while she lowered her head slowly toward him. When their lips finally met, it felt every bit as intense as if it were their first kiss. Wesley closed his eyes and let the perfection of the moment engulf him. He would never regret this. Whatever the result of the quest for his soul, he couldn't possibly regret that he had been blessed with the chance to feel something so beautiful.


Wesley put his fingertips on Faith's temples, then slid his fingers up into her hair. The thick silky curtain fell around their faces, isolating them from the world as effectively as the protective circle on the floor.

They were still kissing when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush to his chest. The feel of her breasts rubbing against his skin was absolutely delicious. He put his other arm around her, pressing her into him.

Delicious and wonderful as the sensation was, Wesley was not satisfied with the position. Beyond his personal taste for being on top, he was well aware of her preference to ride. He wondered, not for the first time since he found out about his dark twin, how did Faith act around that man. He smiled thinking that if she knew him at all, and she must have from all the things she read about him, his twin must have had the same preferences.

He sat up straight, pushing Faith's torso up along with him. She gasped, startled by the movement but didn't fight him, only clung to his shoulders. Wesley groaned and let out a string of highly undignified curses at the pain. His body had been healed by the Mohra blood, but he still suffered the aftereffects of the injuries. He was also groaning at the exquisite feel of his hardness rubbing against Faith.

She was still straddling his thighs, while he leaned back into the kiss. He startled when he felt her hand sneaking between their bodies and wrap tightly around his erection.

"Naughty," he whispered.

"Eager," she corrected. "Checking to see if you were still willing and able," she said.

"Very much so. With one condition."

He pushed his upper body forward, making her bend over backwards. His arms supported her back while his head was buried in her breasts.

"What condition?" she asked, breathless.

His mouth was too busy sucking on her breast to answer. His mumbling sent vibrations over her skin, causing Faith to shudder. He sucked on her nipple harder, making Faith arch her chest into his mouth, and letting her head back, almost out of the circle, her hair flowing almost to the floor. She seemed to forget her question for a while.

Wesley put both hands firmly on her waist, and stood up. Faith yelped in surprise, her head snapped up, but she instinctively wrapped her legs around him. His fingers were digging almost painfully in her flesh, while she was holding on to him, arms around his shoulders, ankles locked behind him.

"The condition is," he said, beginning to turn to face the bed, "that I get to be on top," he finished.

As he spoke, he lowered her onto the bed as slowly as he could, but still not smoothly enough. She chuckled at the slightly awkward landing, but the expression soon became softer.

"Whatever rocks your world," she said.

Wesley marveled at her smile. She looked young and innocent.

"You think that's funny, sweetheart?" he asked, faking as serious a tone as he was capable.

"Shut up and kiss me," Faith said in a throaty voice that sent shivers through Wesley.

He felt the importance of the moment shatter the brief levity. They were really going to do this. They were tied to each other in so many ways, on so many strange levels, that there was no predicting what would happen when they physically came together. Their past, their souls, their son. Son!

"Faith, this may not be the best moment to bring this up, but do you think we should use some protection?"

"Are you trying to ruin the mood?" she asked, lifting herself on her elbows, pushing her chest into his.

Wesley coaxed her back to the mattress with a few well placed kisses and caresses.

"Thought I should ask. I wouldn't mind if Alex had a brother or a sister," he muttered indistinctly with his lips pressed against her neck.

"Oh, God, Wes," she whispered. "Not much chance of that, I'm afraid."

He lifted his head to look at her.

"Why?"

"I'm on the pill. After I had Alex... This is ridiculous," she said and looked away from him. "I feel like I had an affair with you for ten years and you don't know the first thing about me."

"It wasn't me, Faith. You know that," he said.

His voice was soft, as if he could heal her with his words. He caressed her hair, leaning closer to kiss her cheeks, her forehead, her eyes.

"I know," she whispered, holding him tight as he kissed her. "I guess I'm afraid."

He had expected this to come. She may have had feelings for him, once upon a time, a decade ago when he burst out of her subconscious and into a strange reality, she may even have started liking him once resurrected, but love, that she had only felt for the other him.

"Can't have that. The Slayer can't be afraid of her Watcher. I'm going to do something about it that used to get Watchers in very deep and life-impairing trouble," he told her, amazed of his ability to hide his anxiety so well that his voice could actually sound playful.

"What's that?" she asked.

Her tone was lighter. He could still feel her shiver against him, but, ever the warrior, willing to fight her fear.

"Oh, it's a very complicated, ancient ritual. It involves dizzying you with kisses," he said, proceeding to demonstrate.

"And then?" she barely managed to whisper, much to Wesley's delight.

"And then... when you're just about out of breath... "

He stopped talking. Wesley kept her prisoner in a long, breathtaking kiss while he positioned himself at her entrance, and began sliding in. He didn't stop when he felt her tensing as if she was about to push him off her. He kept kissing her and sliding inside her as her nails dug into his shoulders. He went on, deeper and deeper in her body and in her heart. He felt his very self melting with her in a way that transcended physical pleasure.

Faith moaned when he was completely sheathed inside her, making his heart melt in his chest. He watched emotions play over her face. The anxiety, not completely gone, was pushed aside by joy, desire, pleasure. And maybe, if he could judge from his own experience, maybe love.

"Still afraid, my Chosen one?" he asked beginning to move in and out of her.
The pace was still slow, all urgency seemed to have transformed inside him. He was still burning, but he no longer needed to put out the fire. He wanted to kindle the flames even more, so that they'd both be consumed by it.

"So much," she answered him. "Afraid so much. Love you so much," she said, slipping the words out between kisses and moans.

"I love you too, Faith. I wouldn't be here otherwise," he said.

It shocked him to realize it was true. He had said it to be kind, to make the moment perfect, to help her heal from losing a man she had loved for ten years.

A few minutes later, they came, together and wordlessly, no longer able to express their passion.

There were no more words for the next few hours.

~~~~~~~

They were lying in each other's arms, tired, but unwilling to fall sleep.

"Care to fill me in on the past ten years? Some things that weren't in that nice and very professional file you gave me when I came back?" he asked, caressing her thigh lazily.

"Not really. For some reason my mind's not working very well right now," she said, snuggling closer.

"Liar," he admonished and slapped her hip playfully.

Faith pressed her face into his chest, and peppered a few kisses on his skin before she started talking.

"As far as I know, out here, I still can't have children. I started on the pill for him. I was afraid to have another child with someone like him. Alex is a miracle, but I'm still afraid he's not completely human."

Wesley pulled her closer, kissing her forehead and caressing her hair.

"Whatever he is, he's our son. You have the DNA results to prove it," he said. "I can't help wishing I was more involved in conceiving him," he added with a smile.

He felt her relax a little, so he kept caressing her, and talking to her, trying to soothe her worries, partly to lay his own fears to rest.

"We'll deal with everything when I come back. You'll see, everything is going to be fine. We'll talk to Alex together. Explain him about his miraculous conception. He's an amazing kid. He will understand. And if it's in the cards, we'll have more children. If not, we'll always have a bunch of Slayers to raise."

"If you still love me when you get your soul back," she said.

"Can't imagine not loving you," he told her.

"I can. You, he didn't always love me. Every time I went in that cave, it was different. The first time, he was like you were when I last saw you in L.A., after Angelus and the Beast. But sometimes you were young like in Sunnydale, other times you were depressed and angry and you hated me. Then there were times when you were the rogue demon hunter, or the man who kept a slave girl in his closet, or... It was never the same, and yet it was always you."

Wesley listened to her in silence. That was not the way he imagined it. He thought his likeness in the cave had been created by Faith's subconscious, and then evolved from one visit to the next. He imagined her having something close to a real relationship. What Faith said worried him a little. He could compete with one of him, but with a whole cast of his copies?

"I'll never hate you. This much I know," he assured her.

She clung to him tightly.

"You be sure to come back. The rest, you're right, the rest we'll deal with when you come back."

~~~~~~~

Sometime later...


Wes went to the kitchen desperate for a tea, not sure if it was night or day. When he was at the door he heard the noise of china and tensed up. He had no weapons, and no time to get any.

"Come on in. Tea's ready."

Spike's voice. Wesley entered the kitchen wondering if it hadn't been better to have been some demonic intruder. He sat down at the table watching the vampire pouring him a cup of tea.

"Thanks," Wesley said.

"My pleasure," Spike answered with a grin.

Wesley cocked an eyebrow at him questioningly. Why the hell could the vampire be grinning about? He hadn't managed to shower, so Spike was probably amused by the mixed scent. Could there be anything else? Wesley's mind was too clouded to make much headway.

He tried to ignore the neon bright grin under the neon bright hair, but found it impossible.

"What is it?"

Spike wriggled his eyebrows, and his smile took on a more worrying nuance.

"As the Yanks put it, you got game!" the vampire said.

"No. No, no, no," Wesley said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "No, you didn't. Tell me you didn't."

"It was quite a performance. I don't know if I want to shag you or her right now."

"Jesus!" Wesley exclaimed. "Why the hell didn't you call to tell us the circle wasn't working? That was the deal."

"First of all, it worked for a while," Spike said, and sobered up a little. "Felt like she was gone, in that damn cave again."

"But it stopped working," Wesley completed his sentence.

Spike looked him with an indecipherable expression before he spoke again.

"What did you expect? It was like trying to cover a nuclear blast with a paper bag. I knew that whatever you two shared was strong, but that..."

"Yes. That was..." Wesley agreed, equally lost for words. "I love her, you know."

Spike nodded. Wesley wondered how much the vampire had felt.

"I want to do the right thing. By both of you. I need to get my soul back."

"And you want Spike to tell you all about it?" Spike asked wryly.

"Yes, please," Wesley played along.

The vampire chuckled, pleased. Wesley had the strange and aberrant sensation that the man in front of him was in fact in his mid twenties.

Wesley listened attentively to Spike's tale of how he got his soul back. It didn't sound like a day in the park, but not impossible.

"Thank you," Wesley said, when the story was over and the vampire stood up to leave. "And, Spike," Wesley stopped him, "Thank you for not calling."

"Anytime, mate."

~~~~~~~


There wasn't much left to say. In the cold morning light, Faith and Wesley said their goodbyes.

"I love you."

"Come back."

"I'll come back."

"I love you."

"Do you always have to have the last word?"

"Do you?"

"I..."

She silenced him with a kiss.

He would be back, Wesley told himself to keep his heart from breaking as he drove away. He would come back from the dead for her.


~~~~~~~~~

To be continued...