It's An Adventure

"Well, yes. I'm pleased that everyone is safe and sound, but did you obtain it?" Wesley asked.

"What?" Spike asked, squeezing Xander's ass and sucking at his neck.

Wesley bent to tuck a hunting knife into his boot. "What you two *came* for."

"*Angel* didn't get anything." Spike snickered. He pulled away from Xander and went to his pile of goodies. "Me? I got all *kinds* of good stuff. The slayer-saving-bowl among them." He looked through his pile. "Hey! Where's me bowl?"

Angel gave a low laugh, holding up the coat-covered bowl. "I have it. And I wouldn't say I didn't get *any* thing, boy. I got your a-"

"Marvelous! You have the bowl." Spike said, cutting Angel off. The pouf. The nonce. The effin fuck-n-tell *bastard*. Spike began rummaging through his pile again, throwing items about with unnecessary force. If Angel mentioned the screwing he'd just deny it. Xander wouldn't believe Angel. Spike laughed a little beneath his breath. He'd just tell Xander Angel was trying to make him jealous. He looked over at Xr anr and smiled. Xander smiled at him in return. Oh, yeah. He was fine.

"Good. Can we get *out* of here now? I don't wa-Ooo, what's *that*, Spike?" Cordelia asked, her eyes on a velvet pouch Spike had picked up.

"This?" Spike grinned at her, swinging the small bag from his hand. "*This* is a sack-full-o-diamonds."

Cordelia's eye's widened and she stepped closer. "Can I *see*?"

"Sure, pet." Spike grinned and opened the pouch onto his open hand. Sparkles fell out. Lots and *lots* of them.

Cordy gasped out loud and stepped even closer. She kept her eyes on Spike's diamond filled hand. "Can I have some? Please?" She asked, seemingly entranced by the diamonds.

In fact, *everyone* had moved in closer to Spike and his handful of sparkles.

"Sure, pet." He held out his hand towards her.

Cordelia reached out. . .

. . .And Spike closed his hand and snatched it away. "Nope." Spike laughed. "I'm just fucking with you, pet. I'm not gonna share *diamonds*. Are you *daft*?"

Corde's h's head shot up. She was abruptly snapped from her diamond-induced-trance. "You *jerk*!"

"When did you win *those*?" Angel demanded.

"When you were napping, peaches. I won all *kinds* of goodies." He pulled a cigar box from the pile and opened it, holding it out to Cordy. "Cigar, pet? It's the good stuff. Cuban."

"No *thank* you. I would, however, like a diamond.\e ste stamped her foot. "Or more."

"I'll take one of those." Danielle spoke.

"I wouldn't mind one, either." Wesley said, stepping to Spike.

Spike passed out cigars. Even Angel took one. Danielle pulled her Zippo out and lit the smokers up.

"What else, besides diamonds, tires and my shoes, did you win?" Angel asked, puffing.

"*Lost* yer shoes, Sire." ulleulled a pair of bright red Converse high tops, circa 1980, from his pile and tossed them at Angel. "Here, put these on."

Angel looked at the shoes with din ann and then at the floor.

He put on the too big sneakers.

"Got this." Spike was on his knees rummaging. "My wat-the *slayer's* watcher will like this." He held up a leather-bound book and set it aside. "Oh, and *this*." Another book. "I'll give this to the witches. It's a book of love spells. This'll make Giles' piss his pants." Spike snickered and tossed away a handful of wigs. "Now *this*. *This* is pretty. You can have this, pet." He tossed a two shot, pearl-handled derringer pistol at Xander. "Can't have my diamonds, but this'll do you, Cordelia." Spike tossed a strand of pearls at her. Cordy caught them with a squeal of joy. Spike tossed a piece of garden hose away, and then another, larger piece of garden hose away. Some baby clothes followed. And some IV tubing. He came up with a pair of alligator pants and was about to toss those when he looked over his shoulder at Danielle. "Think you can fit these?"

Danielle stepped forward and took the pants. "Jesus. These are *real* alligator skin!" She mumbled, looking at the tag. "A size too small. Hell *yes*, I can fit these! You're like, fucking *Santa* Clause, Shiny Headed One."

"Here, this is for you." Spike handed Wesley a heavy leather bound book.

"This is. . .this is the *complete* works of the Feliand Oracles." He whispered relevantly taking the large book. "This is, Spike, this is-"

"What? Can I get *money* for that?" Spike demanded.

"Ye-um. No, not really. You'd never be able to find a buyer. And, I dare say, you'd mostly likely be unable to *read* it. It's best that you give it me." He ran his hand over the binding. He looked at Spike, and smiled. "Thank you, Spike."

Spike raised a brow and turned back to his pile. "Me, me, me." He placed items in a pile next to him. "This for me, too. More for me. Garbage. Me. *Angel*." Spike tossed a copy of the Karma Sutra at his Sire. "Garbage. Garbage. Xander." He tossed a Colt six-shot pistol encased in a leather holster at Xander. He pulled out a large leather case. "What the fuck?" He opened it. Silverware. A complete set. "Oh, right. *Joyce*. What's this, then?" Spike pulled a garment out and handed it to Cordelia. "A never been worn *original* I was assured." He told her as he kept rummaging through his pile.

Cordelia unzipped the bag and took a look inside at the perfect little black dress. "Oh, my *god*!"

"Naw, just me, pet. *Spike*." Spike muttered, not looking up.

"This is a Karan *original*. *Spike*! You-evil-soulless-Angel-trying to-kill-Xander-boffing-*sweety*! I love you now. I do. I have to go out now. I have to wear this dress and my *pearls*. I *must*."

Danielle looked at the dress Cordelia was holding in front of her. "Very nice. I told you Bleathvores have some *really* nice things."

"Wanna John Tesh CD?" Spike asked, from his pile.

"Along with a *lot* of trash." She continued, taking the CD and tossing it over her shoulder.

"Hey! *Angel* might have wanted that."

"If so you should go ahead and kill him."

Spike sat up on his knees. "Yeah. Kill him." He looked around. "Anyone see an Angel-killing thing around? I was promised one."

Xander looked up from tying his gun holster to his leg. He tried a quick-draw, grinning. He did a passable gun twirl and replaced the Colt in the holster. He thumbed back an imaginary hat. "I'll have a look around, folks." Xander walked into one of the side tunnels.

"I'm sure we don't need an Angel killing machine." Angel said.

Cordelia looked up from her dress. "That's only 'cause you're *Angel*. Maybe it's a really *cool* thing. Like my pearls."

FUMP!

"Cool." Came Xander's voice. "I think I found it."

The others walked to the side tunnel.

Xander stood next to a guillotine. "Nice, huh? Can we keep it?"

"*This* y 'y 'kill him with one blow' weapon?" Spike asked, hands on his hips. "Does anyone have *any* idea how hard it is to get someone to place their heads into one 'o them things without an army backing them up?"

Xander raised the blade again and let it drop.

FUMP.

"So, what? We can't keep it?"

"If you can carry it, pet, you can keep it."

"Can we *go* now? The sun will be up soon." Angel asked, rolling his eyes.

"Sure." Spike said. "Yeah, lets go. Oh! Wait! I wanna take some o' those wigs back, you know, for the Slayer."