3 Inches

*
Chapter 15

Xander stops laughing abruptly and pales. “Wanna fuck me, Xander?” echoes in his head accompanied by the instant answer: “yes”. Which, of course, Xander is not ready to deal with at all. Denial is a good thing and so he flips the switch in his head and starts hating Spike wholeheartly again. Not only is Spike not in the least thankful for all the caretaking Xander has done – no – he actually has the nerve to make fun of Xander only seconds after he is back to his old self – which is an evil bastard vampire thing to do.

Xander wishes he could just leave. Go home to his new apartment, sit in front of the TV and drink until he either pukes or falls asleep. He’s deeply hurt, deeply embarrassed and very confused. He needs alone-time which - of course - is the only thing he can’t have right now, because he offered Tara a place to stay and Spike’s clothes are still in his apartment which means, the vampire is coming with them, too. Just great.

“Xander, would you... if y-you dd-don’t like m-me coming w-with...” Tara stutters and stops talking completely when Xander looks at her, dark emotions still on his face.
“What – no, Tara. I don’t mind. Just get your stuff and let’s get out of here!” Xander tries for a grin, but it gets stuck when his gaze is drawn to Spike. The vampire stares at him and the echo of that dreadful question starts up in Xander’s head again. Blushing, Xander turns away, nearly knocking over Tara in the process as she holds out some bags for him to carry.

However, finally, they are ready to leave. Willow is nowhere to be seen, still, Tara can’t shake off the feeling of being followed. Xander leads off, Tara and Spike follow him. Spike wishes for his duster and a cigarette. He feels naked without his usual armour out in the dark streets of this damned town. Xander holds himself stiffly, the anger over Spike’s betrayal pulsating inside him. What the fuck had all this been for if everything’s back to the beginning?

“You need to talk to him.” Tara whispers, so only Spike can hear it. “Take it slow – he’ll get it, eventually.” Head cocked to one side, Spike stares at Tara for a few seconds, then continues watching Xander’s feet stomping forward. He doesn’t know what to say. When he was 3-Inches-small it had all been easy, at least, easier to admit. He had depended on Xander to help him continue his unlife in that form. He’d never have managed on his own. But now, back on his own two feet, he doesn’t need help from pseudo-friends... A memory is triggered by that; Xander admitting that he trusts Spike for whatever reasons. Maybe, Glinda is right.

The rest of the way they go in silence. Tara wonders where they’re going. There had been the fading of a certain darker pressure from Xander’s aura over the last months and she’d assumed that he was getting on with his life and getting out from under the clutches of his parents. Now, she’s curious to find out more about Xander. After all that’s happened, she still feels like an outsider with the Scoobies. Like Spike, she just can’t get into that circle as a fully accepted member. She is still just regarded as “Willow’s girlfriend”. Whether on purpose or not, too often Willow would break into the rare talks one of the Scoobies would have with her and she’d regress to the smiling listener. Especially fierce were those interruptions when Xander was involved. Only Dawn was letting her in fully, though Spike had sent a lot of understanding her way, with his eyes and with his aura.

“We’re here.” Xander says and opens the gate to the backyard. After making sure the gate is securely closed again, Xander leads his companions over to the back entrance and through the workshop. Xander purposely switches just two of those ceiling lights on and keeps the workshop dimly lit. Vampire eyesight still allows Spike to see most of it; the ready and half-ready doll houses, the workbench, the pieces of wood that would be formed to build perfect furniture; while Tara has to concentrate on not stumbling. Spike takes everything in with big eyes. He had only been here when he was shrunken and now it was difficult for him to get used to the new dimensions. Xander moves quickly through the workshop, not wanting them to see a lot of the stuff standing around.

Again, Spike wonders about Xander’s attitude. The boy is exceptionally gifted. His ability to build such wonderful pieces of furniture without an apprenticeship of many years is impressive and nothing to be ashamed of. He shakes his head and presses his lips together tightly. He’s got to talk some sense into the boy. Can’t have him running around like some loser, when he’s so talented, kind and loyal.

Xander opens the door to the apartment and goes in, turning on the lights and calling out the room names whilst pointing to doors. He doesn’t sound completely mad anymore, pride for his workshop, for his apartment creeps into his voice. Way better, Spike thinks and is startled when Tara starts giggling suddenly while crossing the threshold. Xander turns sharply. “What’s so funny?” He barks, immediately hurt by her laughter. “Magic”, she says between helpless giggles. “It tickles!”

Grimacing, but not angry anymore, Xander asks “Magic?”
Tara’s eyes still dance with laughter. “Yes, Magic. It’s so easy and so effective. It prevents anybody with the will to hurt you from entering here. Very effective and so pure.” She giggles again. “I want to get to know the witch who did this, please.”
Xander shrugs, “I could ask Garld. Guess she’s behind this.” He smiles, genuinely pleased by the concern Garld must feel for him to have set up a magical barrier to protect him. Spike had entered after Tara without hesitation and nothing had happened, Xander thinks, maybe the vampire really had changed... or perhaps the barrier would only react to physical hurt and, with the chip, Spike couldn’t do any physical damage so he could enter without restrictions... He’ll ask Garld as soon as he gets the chance.

“Let’s put this stuff in the living room”, Xander says and leads the way.
“Wow – these curtains are... impressive.” Tara says and stares in awe at the dark red velvet, then goes over to touch it. She shoves the curtains apart and looks outside through the big windows. “The view is great. You can look over a huge part of Sunnydale. Isn’t that Restfield? Can you see Spike’s...”
“So, where’d you leave my duster?” Spike asks, interrupting her, not meeting Xander’s eyes.
“Bedroom cupboard”, comes the short answer from the boy, who then turns angrily and disappears into the kitchen. Great.
“Don’t you dare to leave!” Tara mouthes at Spike and tries a Willow-look. It doesn’t fit her. He shrugs and goes into the bedroom in search of his clothes. The first thing he finds, though, is the doll house Xander made him which had been his home for the last couple of days.

Tara follows Xander into the kitchen. “Why don’t we eat something together? I mean, I’d like to spend some time with you, you, my friends, to... to - not be alone for a while, you know?” Tara says, so fast the words blur into each other and she nearly rolls her eyes at how ridiculous she sounds even to herself.

“He can stay.” Xander sighs deeply. “I wouldn’t throw him out, you know, just couldn’t do that to him. Even back to his normal size he’s helpless and the baddies outside are just waiting to get him. I mean, that’s what brought us here. The vampires that attacked us the night of the shrinkage – it was a trap. They were only trying to kill Spike.” Opening the fridge and staring into it without really seeing anything, Xander thinks about that night, thinks about how sad he felt, being sure Spike had been killed. He likes the guy, can’t deny that. “If he just wasn’t such a jerk!” Xander complains and Tara giggles.

“It isn’t easy for him either – adjusting to this.” Tara says and shoves Xander away from the fridge. “You’ll get a cold standing in front of an open fridge too long.” She chides him, not meaning it seriously, and starts sorting through the limited offer of food inside the fridge. “We only moved in a couple of days ago”, Xander apologises for the lack of choice of food. Grinning over the “we” Xander used, Tara closes the fridge door. “Don’t worry. Let’s just order Pizza.”
“And ice cream.” Xander says and hugs her softly. “Yeah, and ice cream, a lot of ice cream.” Hesitantly at first, Tara hugs Xander back and tries not to think too hard about her own problems.

In the other room Spike sits on the bed and looks in astonishment at the doll house. He can’t believe only a few hours ago he fitted perfectly in that minature world. It seems like a dream, a bad dream however. Not everything was bad. Things were easier, that’s for sure. Xander could read every wish from his eyes and, if not, Spike could tell him without hesitation. Now, everything is complicated. The intimacy they shared is nothing more than friendship – Spike should have known.

Reaching inside the doll house Spike takes out the chair. He caresses the smooth leather and the dark wood. Really fine craftsmanship. Xander can be proud, Broum can be proud to have such a talent working for him. He sets the chair back and starts to hunt for his clothes. Finally Spike locates them, T-Shirt, Shirt, jeans, duster, his socks and boots. The clothes are neatly folded, albeit a bit dusty and crinkled-up – it would do. Better than what he was wearing right now for sure.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Spike’s thoughts swirl and circle until they focus on one sentence: He wants Xander. He gets out of the ridiculous short shirt and puts on the black shirt. It stretches tightly over hard muscles and a sudden memory of drinking Xander’s blood rushes through him like a lightning bolt. He sucks in unneeded air. Bloody hell, boy, you’re a nummy treat. Always knew that.

So he wants Xander, nothing wrong with that. He slides out of the sweats and puts on his jeans. Nice boy, nice body, nice home, good job. He wants Xander. Socks on and boots laced, Spike gets up agitatedly. He was sure, on some level Xander wanted Spike too, he just didn’t know about it yet. No problem at all, Spike would make him see. He’d persuade him to see the rightness of them being together. He shrugs on his red button up, leaves it open. First thing’s first – he needs to stay tonight, and probably for a lot of nights, here in Xander’s lovely apartment with the enormous heavy curtains that fit so well with the dark doors and heavy drawers and cupboards. Spike sighs. He needs a reason to stay. Think, Spike, think. You’re good at this. Damn, there they are already back.

“Look – I..“, he begins, but is completely taken aback by Xander’s reaction. The boy stops, rooted to the floor, one weak hand pointing vaguely at Spike. Xander’s jaw agape, his eyes roaming over Spike.
“Guess you like this better? At least you’re not laughing your bloody ass off this time.” Spike mumbles and knows he won’t get an answer. Things would go easier than he thought. Xander already has the hots for him, he just can’t admit it. Spike will help him with that. What are friends for anyway…