Choices

Chapter Fifteen

"You're still here? Don't you have a class now?" Angel asked as he strolled into the gallery a few days later.

Buffy looked up from the desk, shoved something in the drawer and spun around in her chair to greet Angel. "Hello to you too."

He raised his eyebrows. "What were you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Seems like something to me or you wouldn't have shoved whatever it was into the desk so fast."

"Nosey parker. Don't worry about it."

He smiled, "not worried about it. Were you drawing something?"

"Maybe. I am taking a class on it."

"I know and you have yet to show me any of your work."

"Yeah, don't hold your breath," and then realizing what she said and whom she was talking to, she burst into laughter.

Her laughter was contagious and Angel found himself joining in her merriment. She had tears forming on the side of her eyes as sheghedghed. "Oh, I make myself laugh."

"You're a little punchy, huh?" Angel observed.

"Wee bit. How's Angel doing today?"

Angel smiled, "Angel is doing fine. Are you drinking?"

"No," she said in mock astonishment. "I'm just...I'm really tired."

"Is that why you're blowing class off?"

'Not blowing class off. It was cancelled and I got busy here...I wasn't ready to leave. Figured I'd visit with you a bit before I headed home."

"You've been patrolling late with Spike. Maybe you could take a night off and just relax."

"So, one more week and we open. Nervous?"

Angel sat on the edge of the desk, his arms folded across his chest. "Nope. You?"

"Nope. I think you've done a fabulous job."

"We. We've done."

"Whatever, I didn't come in until almost two weeks ago."

"Still, you helped. You helped get that Mark kid in here."

"That Mark kid," she chuckled, "you might not want to refer to him as that when you're talking about his work."

Angel chuckled, "yeah, you're probably right. I guess I am a little...what is it you say--frazzled?"

She smiled, "come sit in the chair. I have magic fingers and they will whip the frazzle right out of you."

He raised an eyebrow, "magic fingers? What are you going to do to me?"

"Massage you, silly! Come on, sit here." She jumped up and Angel looked at her and then the chair reluctantly.

"I don't know, Buffy..."

"Oh come on, sit."

Sighing, Angel sat in the chair facing the wall. He willed himself to relax and not get excited about the fact that Buffy would be touching him soon. The whole point of a massage wasrelarelax, not to---oh jesus, she wasn't kidding about magic fingers. Angel let out an involuntary moan and she froze.

"You all right?"

"Sorry, that just felt really good," he said sheepishly.

"Told you so," she sounded proud of herself.

She was kneading his flesh with just the right amount of pressure and gentleness. He was relaxed all right.

"Do you like that?" She whispered in his ear, tickling him with her breath.

"Yes," he managed hoarsely.

Her hands moved up his back, around the shoulders and down his front. Her hot breath in his ear, he felt her flick his ear with her tongue and then nibble on the lobe. "Oh God, Buffy." He groaned.

"Yes?"

"More," he demanded huskily and swung around, grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap, kissing her hungrily.

"Angel," she said, breaking the kiss.

"What, sweetheart?"

"You just got here, you can't sleep now."

His eyes popped open and found himself with his head down on the desk and Buffy sitting on it and poking him in the shoulder. He felt it then, the strain in his pants. Great job, Angel.

"Sorry," he muttered.

She shrugged, "it's okay. You didn't say anything for a while and then put your head on the desk. I didn't think you were really sleeping. I'll let you get to work." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbed her sketchpad out of the desk and bounced off.

Angel groaned and hit his head on the desk with a thud. This was getting dangerous when he would go in his own fantasy world while she was right there in the room with him. He frowned and sat back, adjusting himself in his chair to ease the tension in his pants. How much longer would he be able to go on like this? Would he have to stand by while she one day got married and had children?

He'd be Uncle Angel, the vampire. He'd probably spend the rest of his days living with Spike and pining away for the girl he felt he could not have. Were he and Spike destined to live the rest of their lives like the Odd Couple? Was Angel one day going to be staked alone with no loved one there to pick up his dust? He'd always imagined that Buffy would always be there and they'd be together forever. That was unrealistic though. She was still mortal despite her abilities and he was very much a vampire that would live forever. The thought of anything happening to her made him shudder. He didn't know what he'd do if anything happened to her. Couldn't even let himself think about it. Thank God Spike had been there while he had been busy getting ready for the showing.

Angel rubbed his forehead thoughtfully. He couldn't go on like this. She had already tried dating, it was just a matter of time before she found someone that she really liked. He doubted that she would ever up and leave, but he could miss all chances if he didn't at least try. All this time he had convinced himself that telling her would be a colossal mistake, that it would ruin their family, their relationship. What if it didn't though? What if she felt that someday, one day, she could feel the same thing? Wasn't it better to find out than live in wonder and one day watch her walk out the door with someone else on her arm.

On the other hand, didn't she deserve something better, something like a human? Someone who could give her children and walk in the sun with her. Someone who could get killed when patrolling with her or cause her to get killed. No, sending her off with someone human and 'normal' was suicide. For them and her. Besides, nothing said they couldn't have children. There were spells that could be done, even adoption. They had options.

So, the question came down to how and when. After the showing, that would be the perfect time. After everything had settled, he could just find a way to tell her. He frowned. Spike would be an issue. Or would he? He?d be put off at first, but then he'd probably be happy for them. That was if she returned his feelings. This was all on an 'if'. He couldn't worry about Spike right now. First he had to go through Buffy, then Spike would come later. Who knew, maybe one day it would be him that Buffy was walking out the door with.

*********

"Spike, not here," Buffy said and pushed Spike off her as he tried to haul her into what he called a 'snog session'.

He pouted. "Why not?"

"Angel," she said simply.

"Is working."

'He could come home at any time and I don't want him to walk in on us in a compromising position. Or smell it on us."

"That's all right. You'd just take a shower for an hour like you did the other night." His tone was slightly bitter, remembering how that had been the first thing she had done and then made him shower as well. He didn't want to give into those bitter feelings though.So, he smirked. "Compromising huh? I'm talking a few kisses; you're talking compromising positions. Why Buffy, you do have a perverse little mind, don't you?"

She laughed at him, "I wonder where I get it from."

"MTV."

"Or my own perverse little vampire."

"I am not a 'little' vampire," he said haughtily.

"No, you're definitely not," she remarked thoughtfully. As if on cue, she started to blush.

Spike leaned over and kissed her cheeks. "Love it when my girl blushes. Come on, let's back to our hotel then."

"It's really sad when it's now 'our hotel'."

"It's really easy to fix, luv. We tell Angel, boom, it's done."

She moved away from him and stood up, looking down at him. "It's not that easy, Spike."

"It's only hard because you?re making it hard. What are you so afraid of?"

"I thought you liked the idea of having it be just us for now?"

He sighed and stood. "I do, pet. But I like the idea of being able to touch you and show you how much I love you when I want and not having a time limit or someplace to hide all the time either."

"Spike, let's not do this right now. I don't want to argue with you."

"I don't want argue with you either, but what I want to do, I'm being denied because of Angel--- whose not even here. And if we just told him then we could do the thing I want to do and not have to argue about it!"

"Was that English?"

Spike glared at her. "I say we go tell him right now. We walk in and tell him that we love each other and that's that. If he's worth his salt, he'll be happy for us." He started for the door.

"Freeze!" She shouted, her voice dropping to a deep monotone.

Spike stopped in his tracks and found he couldn't move any of his limbs. "Bloody hell, Buffy! I told you to never use magick on me!"

She stood in front of him. "Then stop pushing me!"

"It's not like I'm asking you to drink blood Buffy, all I'm asking is that we be open about our relationship. Now fucking release me!"

"Not when you're angry like this."

"I'm bloody angry because you fucking used magick on me when you know I hate it!"

"Then promise me you won't say anything to Angel."

"I promise I won't tell Angel," he said through gritted teeth.

"Release!"

He wagged his arms and swayed on his feet a bit before righting himself. He spun to her, seething with anger. He pointed his finger at her. "I--" he shook his head. "I can't even talk to you right now," and he strode off, out the door, slamming it behind him. She ran after him, grabbing his arm on the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going out for a drink. Get back inside the house and stay there if you know what's good for you."

"Spike, I'm sorry, just stay and--"

"Sorry isn't cutting it right now Buffy. Go back inside and wait for your precious Angel to come home." With that he was gone.


TBC.....I'm thinking Angel is going to find out soon.....what do you think???