Who, What, Why, Where, When?

CHAPTER 15

He had arranged to meet Fraser at 1.30pm and arrived a little late. The Doctor was sitting in Giles' car reading a magazine when Giles pulled up next to him in the car park of the restaurant.

He made a great show of slowly walking round the car to inspect it for dents or scratches and eventually arrived back at the driver's door with a satisfied grin on his face. "Never mind the car" Giles grunted. "Give me a hand would you" he asked and reached up to lean on the Doctor as he tried to get out of his seat.

"What on earth have you done to yourself now?" Fraser asked incredulously as he steadied his friend and closed the car door for him.

"Aggravated an old back injury at the weekend and trained with Buffy this morning" he grumbled as he slowly walked towards the restaurant entrance.

Fraser laughed and shook his head as he moved ahead to hold the door open for him. He waited until they had been seated and were checking menus before his curiosity got the better of him. "So what did you do to upset Buffy and what did she do to you?" he asked quietly.

"It's a long story but it wasn't all Buffy's fault. It had been feeling much better this morning before I started training with her. I should have known better" he shrugged slightly and returned to the menu. He was starving and needed a decent meal before he could take any more painkillers.

"After lunch we'll go back to my consulting rooms and I'll give you a once over" Fraser said and waved the waiter over to takeir oir order.

"Does it hurt if I press here?" asked Fraser when he finally persuaded Giles to lie up on his examining table.

"Of course it bloody hurts!" Giles gasped and took several deep breaths. "Sorry" he finally said and relaxed again.

"No, I'm used to it" Doc Doctor sighed. "I think rest and some ice packs should take care of it over the next couple of days but you should definitely stop doing whatever aggravated it in the first place" he suggested and moved back to his desk, not seeing the slight smile that crept over Giles' face. "I'll give you some slightly stronger painkillers but only use them for a few days at a time"


When Giles had finally pulled his t-shirt and sweater back on he moved to the desk and pulled out his wallet. Fraser was watching him with an air of professional detachment, trying to see if he was fit enough to drive home. He stared at Giles a little surprised when he was handed a ten-dollar bill from his wallet. "You of all people should know that your insurance will cover this treatment" he protested.

Giles shook his head and gingerly lowered himself into a hard backed chair. "It's not for that" he smiled. "I'm led to believe you made a bet with Willow and I was instructed to tell you that you had won but I was to pay up?"

Fraser looked a little confused then enlightenment settled on his face and he reached out for the money. "So that's how you hurt your back" he laughed. "Perhaps you should leave swinging from the chandelier to the younger generation?"

"Perhaps" Giles admitted ruefully. "I also need to apologise properly for Saturday night and thank you for keeping her safe, even if your methods were a little unorthodox" he said quietly.

Fraser stood up and poured him some water. "I think it was the other way round, she kept me safe" he said. "And I don't think you have anything to apologise for, after all, this has all happened incredibly quickly for you and it must be a huge temptation to protect her from all of the bad things in this world"

"That's part of the problem" Giles agreed. "I've been trying to protect them all for the past six years but they have grown u a w a world of demons, vampires and monsters" he shook his head. "Once you are involved in trying to defeat the chaos it is impossible to walk away from it without losing some vital part of yourself in the process"

Fraser looked at him through narrowed eyes and decided that his involvement in their work meant he had to better understand their motives. "What do you mean?" he prompted.


"When I was at Oxford I got involved with some seriously unstable people" he began. "At the time we all thought we were the archetypal 'mad, bad and dangerous to know' group but in our case we went on to prove much worse" his voice had dropped a little, this was obviously painful for him to remember. "A group of us took to studying the dark side of magic and were enticed by the power and sense of danger we encountered. Bearing in mind that I was raised to take on my duties as Watcher, I knew better than anyone the danger of what we were dabbling with but I encouraged others to become involved" He stopped to take a drink of water. "I turned out to be quite adept at summoning dark forces and this unfortunate talent led several of my friends to believe that we could control these forces."

"That was your first mistake?" Fraser asked quietly when it looked as if Giles wouldn't continue.

Giles looked up quickly and shook his head. "For several of tht wat was their last mistake" he waited for Fraser to understand what he was saying. "After that I knew that I couldn't turn my back on my true calling. I returned to Oxford to finish my studies and take up my post with the Watchers Council" he finished in a bit of a rush but Fraser was looking at him in stunned fascination.

"Have you ever told Buffy or the others?" Fraser asked.

"Not everything" Giles looked off into the distance. "When I was first assigned to be Buffy's watcher I was glad to finally be given the chance to take a 'front line' job for a change" he smiled a little at the recollection. "I expected to have a slayer who would patrol with me and we could wipe out the bad guys together" he sighed. "When I arrived Buffy came with 'baggage' and I couldn't stop them finding out about her calling. As soon as they knew what was happening they wanted to help and I couldn't stop that happening either." He looked Fraser in the eye. "Here I was, a comprehensively trained adult with specially honed skills and I could only watch as the three of them bumbled their way through the first few months. It's a miracle any of them survived."

"They faced horrors and nightmares that most of us literally never dream of and came out of it as, all things considered, incredibly well adjusted adults. I have to admit to being a little disgruntled that a small temptation had been enoto lto lead me astray when I was their age and they managed to overcome everything fate threw at them!" he laughed a little ruefully. "I think they are immune to tatitation, they don't even smoke tobacco for god's sake, never mind anything else"

Fraser raised his eyebrows at him. "It seems slightly sacrilegious to go through college and not smoke something" he agreed.


"Exactly" Giles nodded in agreement. "Anyway" he sighed. "None of them would ever consider giving up this life for a moment. They continue tght ght to ensure that the friends they've all lost over the years were on the winning side at the end."

"And why do you continue?" Fraser asked. "After all you must have repaid your debt to society by now."

Giles considered for a moment. "I think they mean more to me than any group of people I've ever known" he acknowledged. "The fight against chaos, and the dark forces it unleashes in this world, is a huge undertaking. You can't wake up in the morning and say 'oh well another day of saving the world from apocalypse and home in time for tea'" he sat forward in the chair to stress his point. "You need to wake up in the morning and say 'today I'm going to try and save one innocent from the scary monsters'. That way you can get out of bed and face the challenges"

"And when one of those innocents happens to wake up next to you, how do you cope with leaving her side and letting her face scary monsters on someone else's behalf?" Fraser asked gently.

"I don't really know" Giles answered honestly. "It's never been this close to home before, although Jenny could have been that person if she had survived long enough"

They both sat in silence for several minutes. Fraser knew that this discussion was as much about letting Rupert work through his problems as enlightening himself to what lay ahead.

Giles finally roused himself and looked at the Doctor. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be maudlin. I think I'm just feeling my age and wanted to sort through some painful memories and consign them to tast ast where they belong"

"It's OK" Fraser nodded and came round his desk to help Giles stand. "Are you sure you are able to drive, I could always take you home?"

"I need to get some grocery shopping before I head home but I should be OK" he reassured the Doctor. "Willow's cooking a special dinner for us tonight and I'm supposedbe gbe getting the ingredients together for her" he smiled a little sloppily and shook the Doctor's hand. "Thank you for listening to me, I promise I'll be better company next time"


When Willow arrived at his apartment after classes finished for the day she found him sitting at the table reading through the book they had checked out that morning. He smiled up at her and gingerly got out of the chair to give her a hug.

"Back getting worse?" she asked with concern and leaned up to kiss him.

"A little but Fraser had a look at it this afternoon and said a couple of days rest should see it OK" he murmured as he continued to hold onto her.

"How is Fraser?" she asked and extricated herself from his arms.

"He's fine and I gave him the ten dollars!" he grinned.

"Rupert!" she squeaked. "You told him?"

"Not in so many words" he admitted. "I left your shopping in the kitchen, do you want a hand?"

"I guess you're hungry?" she laughed. "It's OK, I want to do this myself. Did you find anything else in the book?" she asked over her shoulder as she headed for the kitchen.

"It's still a little unclear but I think I've almost nailed down the transference procedure" he replied and returned to sit at the table. "I put a bottle of white in the fridge earlier if you want something to drink" he added.

"Mmmm please" he dimly heard from the depths of several bags of shopping on the counter. "Do you want soing?ing?" she asked.

"Better not. Fraser gave me some new painkillers and said they were quite strong" he mumbled as he picked the book up and returned to reading.

Half an hour later Willow asked him to lift the book from the tabletop. When he complied without looking up she shook her head and proceeded to set the table around him. Ten minutes later she stood behind him and gently kissed his neck. She knew he was really engrossed when he didn't respond immediately but, after a minute or so, he lowered the book and leaned back in the chair. "Dinner's nearly ready" she whispered in his ear and took the opportunity to nibble his earlobe while she was there.


He stretched back with one arm and pulled her round to his side. The kiss started gently and deepened slowly until he pushed his chair back from the table in preparation for her sitting in his lap. She pulled away from his lips and stared dreamily into his eyes. "I thought Fraser told you to rest for a couple of days?" she asked as her finger traced the line of his lips.

"He did mention bed rest quite specifically" Giles replied rather huskily and licked her finger as it passed.

"Perhaps later" she whispered and moved away from him. "Let's eat first and you can tell me about what Buffy said this morning".

He groaned but moved his chair back to the table. He placed the book on the chair next to him and finally noticed the table setting, complete with candles. "I didn’t even know I had a table cover this colour" he laughed. "Can I give you a hand?"

"It's done" she said as she carried two large plates through and placed them on the table. "I know I should have checked before but you do like steak?" she looked into his eyes willing him to admit that it was his favourite dish.

"Wow" he said looking at the food on his plate. "This looks fabulous!" he said as he looked wonderingly at her.

"Don't look so surprised" she laughed and satositosite him. "Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I completely missed the Home Ec classes"

He smiled and put his hand over hers. "Will there ever be a time when you don’t surprise me?" he asked.

"If it's this easy I guess not" she shrugged and picked up her cutlery. "Don't let it get cold!" she pronounced sternly then laughed at herself. "Sorry I tend to channel my grandmother when I cook!"

After they had finished the meal he leaned back and stretched luxuriously. "I think I need to meet your grandmother and thank her" he sighed.

She smiled and lifted the plates, moving into the kitchen. "Tea or coffee?" she asked.

Half an hour later they had finished their coffees and were stretched out on the sofa. Willow snuggled a little closer to him and he gently moved his hand up and down her side. "So what did Buffy say after I left?" she asked quietly.


"We had a long talk and, while I don't think she agrees with my decision I think she understands why I made it" he said and started stroking her hair. "I suppose I'll have to make some explanation to Xander soon before he threatens to hit me again and that will just leave you"

She sighed and put her arm round his waist. "I don't think I'll ever understand you making that decision without talking to us first" she looked up at him. "I know you were trained to make life or death decisions but you passed some of that onto all of us and you should have trusted us to help you make the decision"

He sighed and moved his hand to her face, gently tracing her jaw line. "I trust all of you more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life" he stated in a quiet but firm voice. "It was an attempt to try and spare the three people dearer to me than life itself from having to make that decision"

She met his gaze and sat up a little straighter. "I just need you to know that your death will never be the only viable option in any other situation. You will never know how close you came to fulfilling the prophecy and none of us will ever allow that to happen again. Like Buffy said, the bad guys can throw anything at us but they better lay off my boyfriend!"

He shook his head. "I wish I coul so so sure…" she put her fingers against his lips to silence the rest of his sentence.

"We've both experienced what it feels like to think the other is dead, and I never want to experience anything like that again" she put her hand on his chest. "Every time we win a battle we become stronger, more experienced and a little harder to kill and, although we get pretty close sometimes, we will always win out over the bad guys."

He looked down at her and saw the grim determination in her eyes. "I wish it were that simple but a lot of it has been luck and we will eventually run out of it just when we need it most"

He saw that a small part of her agreed with him but she hadn't given up fighting just yet. "Buffy is uber-slayer personified, you're almost fully recovered, Xander believes in himself more with every passing day and I'm a witch not to be meddled with" she saw him smile slightly. "In conjunction with the reserves we can call on we will survive and you will have to rewrite the watcher's handbook to allow for a slayer who can retire when she's sixty!"

"I don't think I'll survive till my mid-eighties to rewrite anything if you keep up your insatiable demands!" he announced and saw the agreement in her eyes that the sut hat had been laid to rest, for now.


She moved closer to him and kissed him, gently at first but increasing in intensity as he moved his hand to stroke her upper thigh. "Exactly how good are the painkillers Fraser gave you?" she panted slightly when she finally pulled away.

"I think now would be a good time to find out, after all, we are the top research team in Sunnydale" he laughed. She watched as he gingerly rose from the sofa then turned to give her his hand. "Unless you'd rather do the dishes first?" he raised his eyebrow and gave her the quirky smile founfound irresistible. She jumped off the sofa and headed for the stairs.

When he finally got up the stairs she was already sitting on the bed, sans clothing, impatiently drumming her fingers on the bedside table. "I've waited years for that smile to lead to this and I'm not waiting aongeonger" she said as she rose to start undressing him.

"My smile?" he asked in surprise.

"Uuuuhhuu" she mumbled as she struggled with the belt buckle. Eventually she got the catch open and quickly removed his trousers and t-shirt then looked up into his eyes. "Whenever you used to combine that smile with the raised eyebrow thing I would melt. Of course when you combined both of them with cleaning your glasses it was all I could do not to jump you there and then"

"I thought the rapt expression was wonder at my brilliance in the face of a particularly knotty problem?" he asked as he pushed her back towards the bed.

"Your brain was usually the last thing on my mind when the erotic daydreams kicked in" she whispered as she pulled him down next to her.

He winced slightly and moved to a more comfortable position. "Do you mean to tell me that you were having improper thoughts about me in my library?" he asked incredulously.

"The library, the hallway, the cafeteria, your car, the Bronze a couple of times, here of course and…" she stopped and blushed. "There was one time in Buffy's house when her Mum looked at you kind of funny but that was more kinky than erotic"

He pushed her back slightly and looked incredulously at her. "Buffy told you about her mother and I!" she ducked her head and continued to blush furiously as he continued. "And you had a fantasy about it?"


"NO!" she looked back up at him. "Not that!" she insisted with a hint of distaste on her face and he seemed to relax a little. "It was more about you and I with the handcuffs and the police car and stuff" she ended miserabl she she saw him staring at her open mouthed.

"Joyce told Buffy about the handcuffs?" he whispered.

"It just kind of slipped out when Buffy was able to read people's thoughts but Buffy never admitted anything to either of you about how much she picked up" she ducked her head again. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have mentioned it"

He was silent for a moment longer then he started to laugh. "I'm not surprised she found out, after all Joyce and I must have been frantically trying not to think of that night while we were around her and that was the surest way to bring it into our minds" he smiled at her. "What is more intriguing is what you were dreaming about, young lady?" he smiled at her again and raised his eyebrow for good measure.

She buried her head in her hands and wouldn’t meet his eyes. "I can’t believem lym lying here, naked, next to you, naked, and I'm embarrassed about a fantasy I had years ago"

He started to laugh and pulled her into his arms. "You don't have to tell me if you don’t want to" he said in a reassuring voice. "Although I'm sure I have a pair of handcuffs around here somewhere" he whispered into her hair and felt her start to laugh as well.

"How am I supposed to ravish you when you don’t take me seriously?" she finally managed to say after her laughter died down a little.

"I'm terribly sorry" he said and immediately adopted a stern countenance. "Ravish away" and he lay back on the bed and spread his arms.

"Are you thinking of England?" she asked as she straddled his thighs. He looked a little confused. "You know, lie back and think of England" she supplied and ran her hands down his chest to rest on his abdomen.

"I've always thought it was vaguely treasonous to think of the Queen at a time like this" he mumbled as he reached out to touch her breasts. He winced slightly and put his hands on her thighs. "Perhaps you could lie back down next to me?" he asked.

"If your back is really sore we shouldn't be doing anything" she said and lay down next to him.


"It's just when I reach or stretch" he mumbled as he turned to face her and gently stroked her breast and nipple. "See, absolutely no pain when everything is within reach" he happily reported and grinned at her.

They lay on their sides facing each other, stroking every part of each other's bodies. As they explored every inch of flesh they kissed occasionally but didn’t speak, preferring to let other senses take over and experience the sensations coursing through their systems.

Willow finally reached his erection on her travels across his body. As she held it and began to gently rub her hand along the length of it she heard him take a sharp breath. "OK?" she asked a little breathlessly. He nodded and let his own hand wander to her groin. She gasped a sli slid his fingers between her thighs and moved up towards the concentration of almost every nerve ending she had.

She increased the pace of her hand movements a little and he moved closer to her. He continued his exploration of her clitoris and vagina with his fingers, his eyes never leaving her face. He looked in wonder as she closed her eyes and let her head roll back slightly. Her mouth opened and she licked suddenly dry lips in an unconsciously erotic way. The pace of his fingers increased and he began tracing small circles across her clitoris, her sharp intake of breath indicating that she was responding to his ministrations, and he smiled lazily as he realised she had increased the speed of her hand on his throbbing erection.

He knew she was close to the edge but was equally certain that the pain he was experiencing in his lower back meant he wouldn’t be able to have intercourse with her. He cleared his throat slightly and leaned across to kiss her neck. "Willow?" he whispered and gazed into her slightly unfocussed eyes when she smiled at him. "I love you" he said and kissed her. She responded by increasing the pace of her haurthurther and he pulled back to take a deep breath. "I want to hear you come" he whispered in her ear as he kissed her neck. He felt her thighs tighten around his hand and focussed his attention on the rapidly hardening clitoris at her centre. "I want to see you come" he sighed against her shoulder as he moved his kisses down her body. She was whimpering gently and had moved her hips closer to him. She was breathing heavily now and he could feel her breath on his back as he bent his head to kiss her nipples. "I want to feel you come" he murmured as he heard her breathing change rhythm. She gasped and let go of his erection as her orgasm started deep within her. Her thighs clenched down on his hand, confining movement to the ever decreasing circles he was running around her clitoris. She grabbed his head and held him to her breast, gasping incoherently. Her entire body was rigid in his arms as the orgasm spread out to reach every cell. He stopped kissing her nipple and held her in his arms as she shuddered and eventually relaxed.


She smiled down at him as he moved away from her she she squidged down the bed to his eye level. "That was some first time" she whispered and shuddered as an after shock ran through her system.

"First time?" he asked and ran his hands over the muscles in her stomach, causing further shudders.

When she had finally got her breath back she smiled at him and ran her hand through his hair. "First time I've ever done that with someone watching" she admitted shyly. "Your turn?" she asked as she looked at him again.

He shook his head a little sadly. "I would like nothing better but I'm sorry, the painkillers aren't as good as we thought" he pulled her into his arms. "Perhaps you should get someone nearer your own age instead of being stuck with a decrepit old thing like me?" he suggested.

"You're not old and your back will get better soon" she said and looked up at him again. "We don't need to have sex all of the time, cuddling and kissing and groping and touching and…" she gazed into his eyes and lost her train of thought. "I mean" she shook her head. "They can all be fun as well?" she ended on a questioning note.

He nodded. "I want you so much but it would be better to wait until I'm a little fitter and can satisfy you properly" The orgasm induced blush was dissipating and he watched it leave her breasts with interest.

"Ready?" she asked as she noted his gaze.

"Ready?" he said absently and moved his eyes to her face. "For what?"

She simply smiled and slid further down the bed. "Willow!" he said in surprise when he felt her hands around his erection again. "Willow!!" he said as he felt her tongue lick at the tip and start a slow, languorous descent to the base. "Oh dear lord" he said under his breath as he felt his balls cupped in her hand and, very gently, squeezed. "Willow… you don’t…" he took a deep breath and tried to get his brain to organise the words he knew he should be saying. "I don't expect…" he gave up as her lips closed around him and he felt the heat of her mouth move down his shaft. The same movement, in reverse, caused him to start conjugating Latin verbs in an attempt to prolong the divine agony for a moment longer. She put her hand on his hip to keep him steady and on his side. She smiled as she felt him start to push his hips towards her then stop abruptly. She looked up towards his face and saw his eyes closed in what seemed to be acute pain and his lips moving rapidly.


She stopped what she was doing and let her hand take over for a moment. "Is this hurting your back, cause I can stop if you want me to?" she suggested innocently and giggled when he glared down at her.

"It won't be for much longer" he managed to grate through clenched teeth. "I'm running out of Latin verbs"

She shook her head and returned her lips to his balls. She sucked at them for a few seconds until she heard him gasp.

"Yesss, yesss" he kept saying, over and over under his breath and she took the full length of him back into her mouth. As she moved up and down on him, steadily increasing the pace to match his thrusts she knew that he was close. She took him with her hand again as she licked the drops that were starting to appear at the tip.

"I want to feel you come" she said before she took him into her mouth for the last time and felt his hips thrust hard towards her. "Now!" she heard him shout as she swallowed the hot fluid, keeping her mouth moving up and down his shaft until she felt his hands on her head, staying her movements.

He gently pulled her back up and kissed her, tasting himself as his tongue battled with hers. When he released her she smirked at him. "Back OK?" she asked sweetly.

He pushed the sweat-dampened hair away from her eyes and stared at her slightly pink face in wonder. "You dreamt all that in the library after one smile?" he asked a little breathlessly.

She giggled and looked a little embarrassed. "Not quite but reality is often better than fantasy".

He smiled at her and lifted her chin to force her to meet his gaze. "If this is any indication, perhaps we should try some more of your fantasies?" he suggested.

She had a concentrated look on her face for a moment then it cleared and she smiled. "Do you still have a tweed suit?" she asked and twirled her fingers around one of his nipples.

He stared at her in amazement and then started to laugh. "I have never in my life, ever met anyone quite like you" he finally announced and pulled her towards him for another kiss.