So Damn Domestic

This chapter is a little bit different then the others. Instead of being just a Buffy and Faith POV it also has Cordelia and Willow. I thought I'd spice things up a little bit. I hope you enjoy it.
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Fourteen Hours Later. BPOV


I didn’t even bother packing my bags. I told Giles about the message and he set up to have me flown back to California on the private jet, but because the whether has been so unpredictable lately it took a little longer then normal. I got a rental car from the airport and sped all the way from Sacramento to Redding. But traffic was a total bitch and it took almost three hours, but whatever. I went straight to the hospital but she was still in surgery and no one would tell me anything. One nurse said something about a lot of damage and that they should outlaw motorcycles but she was talking to another nurse, not me. So now I’m waiting. I’m sitting here in the waiting room at the hospital and I’m waiting to find out the fate of my fiancé.


Willow is going to be taking the next flight out. She wants to pack up her stuff first because I don’t think she’s going to be going back to Ohio. I don’t know about Xander. I didn’t see him on the way out of the building. Willow stopped me before I jumped into one of the Jeeps and she had me tell her what was wrong, and then she drove me to the airport since I was in no state to be driving. She told me that she’d come as soon as she could and I hope she gets here soon. I really need my best friend right now. Kennedy is at the house watching the kids. Cordelia is still here and currently bothering the nurses because she wants to know about Faith’s condition almost as badly as I do.


From what Cordy told me someone found Faith sometime in the afternoon on an old abandoned road and instantly called 9-1-1. The police came to try and figure out what happened and judging from the skid marks on the road she was going too fast and the road was too slick so the bike spun. From the little that the nurse told me this surgery that they’re doing on Faith is a damage control type thing. They’re going in and fixing the major stuff and also seeing what else is wrong. God I hope she’s ok. She’s been in surgery for...seventeen hours. That can’t be good.


Three hours later and I’m still waiting. I’m getting restless, so is Cordelia. I’m up and pacing the small waiting area, going from one end of it to the other, she’s watching me as if she’s watching a tennis match. How can someone be in surgery for…nineteen hours? Is that like a record or something? How long do surgeries normally last? I think I’m going crazy. I want to see my fiancé and I want to see her now! Ok, here comes a doctor, finally! I walk up to her and Cordelia does the same she looks at both of us a little strangely. She takes in a deep breath and then puts her hands in her front coat pockets. That isn’t a good sign right? That has to be a bad sign.


“You’re family of Faith Lehane?” I nod my head yes. We may never legally marry but we do have a power of attorney or whatever it’s called so we have almost every right as a married couple. Faith thought it would be best to get one after Matthew was born just in case something happened to me, and this way he couldn’t be taken away by social services. “There are several broke bones, a collapsed lung. She has extensive internal damage and massive head trauma. She's alive and she's stable. We did one emergency surgery but this is not going to be an easy fix, and even with all the medical help possible it doesn't look good.” I sigh and tears form in my eyes. She gives me this sympathetic look and then she continues.


“We fixed some of the major damage with the first surgery but she’s going to need several more. We put her arm back into place and had to remove her spleen and we sutured the damaged organs.” She takes in a deep breath. This part must be really bad or something. “She’s suffered massive trauma to the head. She was awake when she was bought in but she was unresponsive. She hit her head pretty hard, and her brain is swelling as a result, and until the swelling goes down we won’t know the extent of the damage.” Wow, so that is really bad. “She’s in a recovery room right now. She’s on three different types of painkillers and they’ve knocked her out. We think it would be best if she stays unconscious while she recovers from the surgery. She’ll be in a lot of pain and this way she’ll be spared that.” Then she starts to tell me the rest of the damage that was done.


“Both of her legs are broken, she’s shattered her pelvis, all but five of her ribs are broken, and she’s covered in road rash, mostly her face and arms because they were expose during the accident. I’m going to be honest with you, she’s stable but the chances of her making it through the night are not looking too good. You can come see her if you like, but please, one at a time.” She leads me down a hall and through a door and then down another really long hall. Faith’s all the way in the back and as soon as I see her I start crying. Her right arm and both her legs are in casts. Her face is so swollen and torn up that it doesn’t even look like her. There are bandages everywhere and she’s hooked up to all kinds of machines. I gain some composure and slowly walk into the room. I sit down in the plastic chair next to the bed and I gently lay my hand on top of hers.


“Faith, I don’t know if you can hear me or not but I need to tell you this anyway. How could you be so stupid? You know better then to be going that fast. You could have died, you still can. The doctor said that it doesn’t look good, Faith, she wouldn’t say that unless it was really bad. I need you. I can’t do this alone. I can’t raise our babies by myself. I can’t live without you with me. You have to make it through this and you have to be ok. You just have to. I’ll see if Willow can do anything. I might take a while because of the doctors but one way or another she will heal you. You’re going to be ok, I don’t think I can go on if you’re not.” I break down. I can’t help it this is all just too much. I lean forward so I’m resting my head on the bed and I’m still holding her hand. Why is this happening now? It’s almost Christmas, everything was supposed to be ok. We were going to celebrate it together with our friends and family. It was going to be so special because I was going to leave a couple days later. I’m not leaving now, not until Faith is better and even then she’s coming with me. If Giles really needs me there then my family is going with me. I’ll have Willow and Xander build a bigger apartment for us so Matthew can have his own room, but I’m not leaving them again.


I think I fell asleep. Oh yeah, there’s a big kink in my back that means I fell asleep at a right angle. I hate it when that happens. I’m expecting the doctor to be standing there, telling me it’s time for me to leave. Well she can go fuck herself because I’m not going anywhere. Ok, maybe in a couple of hours because I really need to go home and talk to Matthew and hold my little girl, but not right now. But it isn’t the doctor. It’s Willow and two girls that I’ve never seen before. Was I out that long or did she use magic to get them here? Probably magic because if I fell asleep like this for almost eight and a half hours I probably wouldn’t be able to move right now. I take a closer look at the girls through my tear-swollen eyes. On is taller then the other, by about three inches, her hair is longer and a little lighter blonde, and her eyes are brown. The other has dark blonde hair, blue eyes, freckles on her face and arms and is a little pudgier then the taller one. Basically they look almost nothing alike, except they’re both blonde.


“Buffy, wake up.” I groan and move around a little bit. I guess she knows my back hurts because I feel her touch me and then I feel the cool rush of magic coming out of her and mending my aches. I sigh and sit up, feeling refreshed but exhausted at the same time. “Buffy, these is Tracy,” she motions to the taller one and she waves at me with a small smile. I nod my head but don’t say anything. “And this is Stacy.” Again a small smile and a wave but all I do is nod. “I decided that teleporting here would be quicker. Ok, now I know that this is going to sound crazy, but from what Cordelia told me over the phone a couple hours ago it sounds like Faith was upset and we all know how she can get a little…irrational when she’s upset.” I nod my head yes. Faith can be very stupid when she’s upset. “So, the twins and I checked out the scene of the crash and we talked to Cordelia about where Faith had gone. We were trying to backtrack to see if we could find what upset her.” The twins? Why did she call them the twins if they look almost nothing alike? “I I’ll let them take it from here. I’m sorry to run out like this but I want to go check on Kennedy. She’s really worried. And Buffy, everything will be ok. I promise.” I really wish she didn’t say that. She can’t promise that. I smile at her and give her a hug and then she leaves in a little bit of a hurry leaving me alone with Faith and ‘the twins’. The taller one steps forward and starts talking.


“Ok, so from what Cordelia said Faith was going to a concert but she wasn’t sure where.” She’s talking pretty fast and I’m having a little trouble keeping up. “So we-”


“Went on the Internet and checked out the dates and times of the concerts locally.” The shorter one interrupts. Ok, this is going to get confusing. “And then we went through her stuff, sorry about that by the way, and we found her credit card and did a history check on the company website and we found that-”


“She was at the Redding Convention Center. There were tons of people there, like, a little under two thousand. So we were thinking, what if someone tried something? From what Willow told us Faith gets hit on all the time. But what if someone was really persistent?” The tall one does have a point. Faith gets frustrated when people hit on her and can’t take a hint to stop. But she never gets really upset. “So we talked to security-”


“And had them hand over the tapes from the time the concert started until it ended. She was in the front row and this guy came up to her and we thought-”


“That he looked really familiar.” The tall one says. Ok, which one is which? Now they seem almost exactly the same to me. This is really confusing. And why do they keep interrupting each other? This is weird. “So we took a freeze from of his face from the tape and sent it back to the research team at the facility and they sent us this.” She hands me a fax that looks like it’s a photocopy from a book. Giles better not find out that they did this, he’ll freak out on them. “That guy wasn’t just a guy he’s-”


“A seduction demon. Well, sort of. He’s kind of a like an evil cupid. Only instead of brining couples together and making them fall in love-”


“He senses when someone is deeply in love and then uses his evil power of seduction to get them to cheat, thus breaking the couple apart. She was able to resist but only after a little kiss action and some teasing.” Ok so she made out with a demon, why would she get so upset by that? Ok, I guess I can understand, she probably didn’t know he was a demon at the time so she probably blamed herself for not stopping it before it started. Then the short one starts talking again.


“She left after he broke the kiss. It takes someone with a lot of willpower to be able to leave him like that. We got the security tapes from the outside of the building as well, and we found that she ran off to the jogger’s path and stayed there for at least an hours before she walked back to her car.” Wow, she actually got an entire sentence out.


“And we have a team hunting down the demon now. It won’t be easy but he is killable. All we have to do is track him down. And Willow is working on a spell so that she’ll be able to heal Faith-”


“But make it look like she’s still hurt. That way the doctors won’t be suspicious. But she’s going to set it up so that her slayer healing will take effect and make it look like she’s healing at a really fast rate, even though she’ll be better already. And then once she leaves-”


“Willow will reverse the glamour thing and she’ll look as good as new. But it’ll take a while because she’s going to heal the brain and that’s a tricky thing to do, but not impossible the only problem is-”


“She has to wait until the swelling goes down before she can heal her. She wants to heal her all at once so she won’t be in any pain.” The short one tells me. Ok, this is good. So Willow will be able to heal Faith and then use a glamour so no one is suspicious. Now if we can only figure out how long it’ll take for the swelling to go down. The doctor didn’t tell me how long it’ll take, but that there’s a lot of damage. “Well, we need to get back. We’ll tell you when the demon is killed, I’m sure you’ll want to know that. Bye Buffy.” I say my goodbyes to them and then they leave. Wow, that was a very fast and somewhat confusing conversation. Which one was which again? I don’t even remember their names. Now I know why they’re called the twins. I look over at Faith, she’s so sill, and she looks almost lifeless. She has road rash all over her face, and her jaw is swollen pretty badly.


“Did you hear all of that, baby? It wasn’t your fault at all. He was a demon who wanted to break us up. And Willow is going to heal you. You’re going to be fine Faith. All you have to do is get through the next couple of days on your own and we’ll do the rest. But please stay strong, baby. Please, please don’t give up on me. I need you, our babies need you. Please Faith, don’t leave me.” I break down again, sobbing harder then I was before. There’s hope now where there wasn’t any before, but there’s still the possibility that something could go wrong and she could die before Willow has a chance to heal her. I rest my head on the bed again and rest my cheek against her hand. It’s bandaged up because she had really bad road rash from being scraped against the street. I don’t understand it, she’s always so careful. And she just kissed him, it’s not like she had a quickie right there in the middle of the concert. Someone please tell me this is a dream. Tell me that none of this is real, that it’s all a bad nightmare and I’m going to wake up in the apartment back in Ohio and Faith is at home taking care of our children. Let it be a dream and please wake me up.


CPOV


Ok, so when I got the call saying that a Ms. Faith Lehane was in the hospital, at first I didn’t really panic because I thought that maybe she just got stabbed or something on patrol and her slayer healing would fix her right up. But then I saw the report on the news about a Faith Lehane that got into an accident on her motorcycle and she was found a few hours ago and rushed to the hospital and the doctors say that it doesn’t look good. I tried as hard as I could not to panic because the kid was standing right there. So I calmly picked up the cordless phone and walked outside. I told him to stay in the house and then I called Kennedy. I’m sure you’re wondering what’s going on between the two of us because we’re always at each other’s throats but I’ll get to that later because there’s more important stuff to talk about. So I called Kennedy and she rushed right over and I went to the hospital.


The doctors wouldn’t tell me anything because I’m not Faith’s family so I called Buffy from a payphone in the hospital. And this creep came up behind me and started hassling me half way through. What is wrong with the people in this town? It’s like proper manners and how to act in public has been bred right out of them. Like they’re all products of incest or something. And I waited here, by myself for a little over fourteen hours until Buffy finally showed up. She looked horrible but it’s understandable considering the love of her life might not make it through the night. And I feel bad for her. Faith does something incredibly stupid and now Buffy has to pay for it. I know she’s conceded like that, and thinks that everything bad happens because the world is against her, but this time I’m not going to get on her case about it.


The doctor escorted her back to the room about two hours ago. I’ve been sitting here waiting for my turn to see Faith but I don’t think I’m going to get it. I know that I’m not friends with Faith, and we’re not very close at all, but I would like to see if she’s going to be ok. I care, shocking I know, but I do. I know that if she dies then Buffy will go into a total break down and I don’t think she’ll get over it. And then those two kids of hers will have to go live somewhere else because she’ll be too depressed to take care of them. It’s just a theory but it’s a damn good one if you ask me.


This is getting really boring now. I hate just sitting around with nothing to do. I need to be doing something, helping in some way. But there’s nothing I can do and it’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to leave just in case something happens, but I don’t want to stay here all by myself. This is depressing. But it’s sort of throwing things into perspective for me. Let me explain, Buffy and Faith, they’ve been together for like….eight years now, they love each other a lot and have had all this time together. So if Faith does die then Buffy will have all of the good memories. She has a middle with Faith, even if the ending comes too soon. But me? I barely got a beginning and then it all ended. I was promised that I would be loved, that they were going to stay with me. Ok, enough with the pronoun game, I guess you might as well know that the person I’m taking about is a woman. No big deal. But she promised me everything and I got almost nothing. A week of bliss and happiness, and even though it was wrong because she was seeing someone, it just felt so right. She’d hold me afterwards and I felt like I finally belonged somewhere. And then they left, all of the slayers, everyone that had been staying at the hotel. They just left, including her.


We talked on the phone after they stopped at another hotel and she tried to explain to me why she left. She said that she just couldn’t stay with me, that too many people are counting on her and she had to go. Yeah right. She explained that Willow would have been devastated, first losing Tara, then giving over complete control and trusting Kennedy with everything and Kennedy said that if she left, Willow would probably never trust anyone again. And she might have been right but we don’t know that. They hadn’t been together for that long. Willow could have gotten over it and found someone to really love her. And then Kennedy made me promise not to tell anyone about us. Yeah, like that was going to be a problem. ‘Cause I really want the world to know that I finally found someone to love and then she just left me in the dust. I’m pissed at her, but at the same time I just want to curl up in her arms and have her tell me that she loves me, that she wants me, even if it’s all a lie.


And there’s the nerdy Wicca now, being followed by two blondes that look about eighteen maybe nineteen. It’s hard to tell from this distance. I hope she doesn’t see me. Being around her and talking to her is really hard because all I want to do is tell her that Kennedy really loves me and it isn’t fair that Willow has her. Because Kennedy does love me. I’ve called her a couple of times over the years and she says that she loves us both and now that she’s been with Willow for so long it doesn’t matter if she loves me more she can’t leave because she’s built roots. I called her a bitch and said that those roots could have been with me. Then she apologized and hung up the phone. And lets not forget about the time I drove up here. Did you really think I would waste my precious vacation time just to see the old gang? Please, I’d go to Cancun in a heartbeat if I weren’t in love with her.


I found out what hotel she was staying at and I convinced the guy behind the desk to give me the extra room key. She was in such bad condition. She was drinking almost none stop, she hadn’t showered, and her hair was a frightening mess. I cleaned up the room while she was passed out. I threw out all the vodka bottles and then opened the window to let the smell air out. When she woke up I helped her undress and we took a shower together. It wasn’t as hot as it sounds because she was so hung over. I washed her hair and then helped her shave her legs and underarms. Yeah, if you think the shower was sexy then you need help.


After the shower she was brushing her teeth and the taste of the toothpaste made her sick and I held her hair up for her. Once all of the alcohol was out of her system she was able to actually get her teeth brushed. I helped her get dressed and ordered some room service. We laid down together and she started crying, saying that she regrets what she did and she never meant to hurt Willow because she doesn’t deserve it. Apparently she was trying to convince herself that Willow didn’t love her anymore, and she used Willow’s job as the excuse. She said that as long as Willow loves her she can’t leave her. I told her that it doesn’t matter because Willow will move on, all that matters is Kennedy is true to herself. She leaned over and we started to kiss, and we were interrupted by the room service before anything serious could happen. After a couple cups of coffee and a few mints we started kissing again and it led to much, much more. What we shared was beautiful because both of our hearts was in it. It wasn’t just rebound sex, and it wasn’t her trying to feel good after feeling nothing but pain. It was special. It was ours. Afterwards she held me in her arms and she told me that she would leave Willow. That she was going to go to her house and pack the rest of her bags and come clean about everything. She promised me that we could be together finally.


But I should have learned from the first time that her promises are only halfhearted. She wants to be with me but she doesn’t want to hurt Willow because she cares about the little redhead and the last thing she wants to do is break her heart. So now she’s in a relationship that she doesn’t fully want to be in and she won’t leave even though we want to be together. I did come up here to help Faith with the baby. I love kids and would one day like to have a couple of my own, but I also wanted the chance to talk to Kennedy without Willow knowing about it. She would be in Ohio and I would be able to go over to Kennedy’s after Faith and the kids go to bed and just talk to her. And I did, twice. The first time was nothing more then a screaming match. I yelled at her for lying to me, for just leaving me twice, and I told her that I hate her, even though I don’t. She told me that I need to get over it and move on because she’ll never leave Willow be with someone as conceited as me, and that I was nothing more then a good screw to her. I slapped her across the face and stormed out of the house. That’s when things started to get really tense between us. But I had to go back, I needed to try and fix things. This is my heart we’re talking about, and sure I may be a little conceited and selfish, especially about this, but I can’t help it. This is more then just sex. This is more then just a couple of really good nights. I love her, and I was going to make her understand that.


So I showed up and she tried to explain herself again. She apologized for saying those awful things but I didn’t apologize for mine. I told her that I don’t hate her, and I never could, but I don’t regret saying it. She told me that she does want to be with me, that she’ll always want to be with me but she can’t because she cares too much about Willow to hurt her like that. I told her to choose. I begged her to pick me, to love me, to run away with me, but she said she couldn’t. She has too many ties here, too many roots. She told me that it would be best if we don’t see each other anymore at all, and I should stop calling her. I don’t call her often but she said it has to stop. I told her that if this is really what she wants and she won’t regret anything later on in life then I’ll leave her alone, that I’ll finally stop trying. But now that I’m here, sitting in this hospital alone while someone might loose the love of their life…I need her here. I can’t be alone. Even if it’s only for tonight and it’s only her sitting here holding me while we wait for some news on Faith, I just need her here. But I have to fight the urge because she asked me to stay away and if it’s one thing I’ve learned about slayers over the years it’s that they are very stubborn, and she wouldn’t come here even if I did beg her to, so why bother? Why go through that rejection again?


God, I’m so sick of just sitting here. I’m going back there even if they do try to stop me. I’ve been working with Angel long enough to develop some fighting skills, I can fight back one of the nurses if I have to. So I get up and walk towards the direction that the doctor led Buffy. It shouldn’t be too hard to find. How many recovery rooms can one floor have? Apparently a lot. I’ve been looking for ten minutes now and I still don’t see them. Ok, this has to be it, it’s the last door on this hallway and I know that the doctor brought Buffy back here. There were no turns or any other halls to go down, so this has to be it. I look into the semi-dark room and see Faith, lying in the bed, unconscious from the drug-induced coma the doctors put her in, and Buffy hunched over the bed crying her eyes out and begging Faith not to leave her. I was going to go in there, if Buffy was asleep, and tell Faith how stupid she is for crashing. According to the new report the accident was caused by her going too fast on a wet road. She knows better then that, at least I thought she did. And why did Buffy even let her buy that death on wheels anyway? I know that Faith is stubborn and probably would have boughten one anyway, but Buffy is the ‘girl’ of the relationship. All she would have to do is withhold sex long enough and Faith would have cracked in like a week, the bike would have been gone and they would have been makin with the love instead of being here, beat up and unconscious with Buffy crying over her seemingly lifeless body.


I wipe away the tears before they mess up my make-up. I had every intention of going into that room and giving Faith a piece of my mind even if she can’t hear me. But now all I want is Kennedy. Seeing Faith like that, knowing that it could be me or her if an accident where to happen and I would have died because I’m not a slayer. I can’t go on anymore like this. I want my beginning and the middle that’s full of love and fights and making up and us moving in together and having kids, even if it’s artificial insemination or us adopting. I want my ending with all of the memories to look back and reflect on. I don’t want to just stand here while she’s not completely happy and I’m totally miserable. I don’t want to see Willow get hurt but if it means us being happy together then I’m willing to do it. I sigh heavily and walk over to the payphone. I just need her here. I just need her to hold me. I’ll confess everything to her, again, later but right now I just need to feel like someone cares, like I’m not completely alone. I put fifty cents into the slot and dial the phone number to Faith’s house because I know that’s where she is. I wait a minute and then she finally picks up. I’m silent for a few seconds as she continues to demand who is calling so late. I sniffle loudly and wipe at my nose and then I start speaking but it’s difficult because I’m trying hard not to cry.


“Hi, it’s me. I know we agreed not to talk anymore but...I need you here. Please, please just...come over. Come over and be with me. I know you told me it’ll never happen between us but please just come.” There are tears running down my face and I hear her sigh but she doesn’t say anything. I choke back a sob. “Kennedy I love you, I’ve loved you for the last eight years. It isn’t going to stop and I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t get over it, and I don’t want to. Please, I really need you right now.” I hear her sigh again and I hear Willow talking in the background, asking who’s on the phone. Kennedy doesn’t answer her.


“I can’t, I’m sorry. I have to watch the kids…” she trails off and I know exactly what she wants to say. ‘And Willow’s here’. That’s what is stopping her, that’s what’s always stopped her. I start to cry, screw the make-up I can touch that up later. She sighs again, I’d really wish she’d stop doing that. I can’t just stand here and sound pathetic, but it’s probably too late for that. I’m so glad nobody around here knows me because this would be really embarrassing.


“But you don’t love her. You love me, please Kennedy. You told me so yourself. You care about Willow but you’re not in love with her. Never have you told me that you love her. It’s always ‘I love you but I can’t hurt Willow.’ Or ‘I’m sorry but I care for her too much’. Please, I know you told me it’ll never happen but I really need you right now even if it’s just you holding me for a while. Willow can watch the kids so please Kennedy, please come over.” I’m sobbing now and I hear something slam down in the background. What the fuck? I hear Willow talking but I can’t make out the words. She sounds angry. I bet I know what happened. How much you want to wager? She got curious as to who Kennedy was talking to but Kennedy ignored her so Willow went to the other room and got the other cordless phone and listened in on the conversation. Yep, that’s exactly what happened.


“I’m sorry Cordelia, but I can’t. I have to go. Willow overheard what you said and she’s pretty pissed. Rent a hotel room and get some rest, ok?” And she hangs up. I hang up the phone and I can feel everything inside of me shatter. I wonder around on unstable legs, feeling numb and cold. I ask a nurse where the bathroom is and she leads me to it. I guess I’m not really paying attention to anything she was saying. She leaves after I’m inside and I wash my face with some warm water from the sink. I look into my reflection in the mirror. What happened to me? I used to be so free, so…well not exactly happy but I wasn’t haunted like this. One week with a girl I didn’t even know and now I’m broken and I look horrible. My eyes are all puffy and my cheeks are flushed and my lips are all swollen and my nose is running. I haven’t been this bad since Doyle sacrificed himself and Xander cheated on me. And who did he cheat on me with? Oh come on you all remember, don’t play dumb I’m better at it then you. Willow. Little mousy Willow.


What is it about Willow that people love so much? Sure I can be a bitch but Kennedy saw a completely different side of me. I was caring and loving and even though we were only together for a week I felt like I had been with her for years. And I know she felt the same. She would be holding me and running her fingertips up and down my arm and kissing me on top of the head, like we’d been dating for years. It all seemed so right, almost like a healthy addiction or habit. Simple but so rewarding at the same time. And the only thing keeping me from having that all the time is the fact that Kennedy can’t leave Willow. Oh no, wouldn’t want to hurt the precious mouse.


She’s not as innocent and loveable as everyone thinks she is. And I’m not talking about her killing that Warren guy either, or hurting everyone when she was addicted to the magic. She’s a brain and she would brag about it every chance she got, gloating about how smart she is and how she got into every college on the planet and yet she’s going to give up a great education to stay and fight evil. Whatever! She just wanted the attention. She wanted everyone to think that she was so noble. I’m the only one who saw through her little act. She just wanted Buffy and Xander to think that she’s so great, but she’s not. Sure if it weren’t for her and her magic the entire world would be dead by now but big deal! I almost wish the world would have ended because then I would have never met Kennedy and I wouldn’t be suffering so much because of it. I walk into one of the stalls and lock the door. I put down the toilet lid and sit down on top of it. I grab some toilet paper and wipe my nose and continue to cry. She’s not coming over, she’s not going to choose me, she’s not going to love me, and I honestly don’t think I’ll live through it.


WPOV


I can’t believe Faith got into an accident. She’s usually really careful when she’s on her bike. But I guess that’s just what happens when you’re upset. She must really love Buffy to get that upset over just kissing a guy. I mean, I know that she’s always loved Buffy, but I’ve always kinda, sorta thought that if Buffy were ever out of town she’d fool around with the first offer. I guess I’ve never really trusted Faith or thought that she could fully change. People don’t change that much. Even Kennedy. Yeah, I’ve pretty much been in denial for years when it comes to her. I love her so much and love makes you blind. But lately she’s been more…affectionate, I guess would be a good way to put it. We cuddle at night, not all the time, but sometimes, mostly after we’ve…ya know. But lately she’s been sort of…needy. I can’t even sit on the couch and watch T.V. without her all over me. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, it’s just not normal for her.


And I get the feeling like there’s something she’s not yelling me. We’ve been together for like…eight years now and I know her very well, and sometimes she gets this look in her eyes, like she wants to say something but she keeps quiet. Or sometimes during…ya know, I’ll tell her that I love her and she’ll mumble it back but she’ll never really say it, and then she won’t even look at me. She’ll start kissing my neck or she’ll go down on me, and now I’m blushing, but she won’t look me in the eyes when she says it. She’s always been like that, I just figured she has a problem saying it but it’s been eight years you’d think she’d be able to say it by now. And I guess I’m just worried because even though it’s in the past and we don’t talk about it I still haven’t completely gotten over the ‘her cheating on me’ thing. I mean, I know she was feeling neglected and like I didn’t love her, but she still cheated on me. She could have talked to me about it instead of going back to that bimbo’s house.


And she’s been acting so weird around Cordelia. I can’t help but think that maybe something is going on between them. Ha, yeah right Willow, get a grip. Cordelia is not only as straight as a light post and when would they have fooled around? Cordelia lives all the way down in L.A. and it’s not like she ever visits. I think I’m just being paranoid. I’m looking for badness where there’s none. I’m sure she’s just being affectionate because I had to leave. She didn’t start until I was asked to go to Ohio. She was just going to miss me and wanted some extra Willow-snuggles before I left. I don’t blame her. I wanted to be as close to her as possible. I don’t think we left the bed for the entire three days before I left. And leaving was really hard but we both knew that I had to. Those girls needed to get back on track and I know that Buffy would be doing most of the work but I would help out in other ways, like making her go invisible and helping the magic teacher set up a better curriculum.


“So you two are going to explain to her what happened ok? Kennedy is at Buffy’s house watching the kids and I really need to get there.” I tell the two girls as we walk into the hospital. Tracy and Stacy, ‘the twins’. They’re not really twins, they’ve only known each other the last two or three years, but they stuck together like glue and paper. Ok, I know there’s a better analogy but right now I don’t really care. I need to drop these two off so they can tell Buffy the plan and then I need to get back to Kennedy. I know that Buffy is hurting but there’s not much I can do about it, and unlike popular belief the whole world doesn’t revolve around her. She won’t want to leave Faith’s side and no matter how much comfort I get her she won’t do any better until I perform the spell. I ask the nurse where Faith’s room is but she says that only family can visit and the doctor said only one at a time. I use my Wicca mojo, as Buffy calls it, to mentally scan through the hospital’s computer system. Room 109, and it’s just down this hall. All right, I can get us there. I lead the girls down the hall and no one says anything. Mostly because I’m using a sort of repellant so no one is looking over at us. It’s hard to explain so I’m not even going to try. Her room is all the way at the end of the hall. We get there quickly and Buffy is sleeping. I slowly walk up to her, the girls following closely behind.


“Buffy,” I whisper and she moves around a little. She cannot be comfortable all hunched over like that. Her back is going to be killing her. I shake her shoulder a little bit but all she does is groan and move around. Well, that sounded almost human. I shake her a little more and she groans again and her eyelashes flutter a little. “Buffy, wake up.” She groans again and moves around a little more. She opens her eyes and looks up at me, I give her a small smile but I don’t think she saw. Then she looks over at the girls and eyes them for a few minutes. I can tell she’s trying to decide if they’re friend or foe. She winces when she tries to sit up. I told you her back would be hurting. I place my hand on her back and send out the healing powers that I possess. She gives me a grateful look and then she stretches out.


“Buffy, this is Tracy.” I point to the taller of the two girls. She waves at Buffy but all Buffy does is nod. A little rude but whatever. “And this is Stacy.” Again with the nodding. But oh well. “I decided that teleporting here would be quicker. Ok, now I know that this is going to sound crazy, but from what Cordelia told me over the phone a couple hours ago it sounds like Faith was upset and we all know how she can get a little…irrational when she’s upset.” She nods her head yes. Yep, I know from first hand experience that Faith can be very irrational when she’s upset. And by irrational I mean stupid. I really need to get out of here. I need to see Kennedy. She’s probably really upset by this and the fact that she can’t even come in here and see Faith…she probably really needs me right now. “So, the twins and I checked out the scene of the crash and we talked to Cordelia about where Faith had gone. We were trying to backtrack to see if we could find what upset her.” She gives me this weird look, like ‘why did you call them twins?’ But I ignore it. “I’ll let them take it from here. I’m sorry to run out like this but I want to go check on Kennedy. She’s really worried. And Buffy, everything will be ok. I promise.” She gives me this sad look and it’s really heartbreaking to see. She gives me a big hug and I give her a little kiss on the side of her head.


I rush out of the room. I go into the bathroom and into one of the stalls. I teleport out and over to Buffy’s house. Kennedy is feeding Addison. She’s singing to her and gently rocking back and forth. I smile at the sight of it. We’ve been talking about having a baby for a while now. I mean, I helped create Addison here, I have the power to get either me or Kennedy pregnant, but she doesn’t want to. She says that she just isn’t ready to be a mom, and that the timing is all wrong. But I know better then that. I see the way she’ll look at a baby or a toddler. It’s almost like she’s sad because the kid isn’t hers. Like she really wants one she’s just afraid to speak up. Maybe I’m just looking for something that isn’t there but at the same time I think I’m right. Maybe she just doesn’t want to have one with me? No, that’s insane. She loves me. If she were ready to have one then she’d tell me. She just isn’t ready.


“I’m back, baby.” She looks up, surprised and she smiles wide. I walk up to her and give her a kiss on the lips. She tries to deepen it but then Addison starts fussing a little so we pull apart. “I teleported back here. I can only stay until Faith is well enough so I can do the healing spell. I know that sounds kind of dumb, but we have to wait for the brain swelling to go down otherwise something really bad could happen.” She smiles at me a little and but she doesn’t say anything. That’s strange, she’s always been a talker. I mean, she’s not like a girly girl, talking all the time and never shutting up but she’s never completely quiet like this. I guess she’d rather not hear about Faith’s condition. It is kind of depressing. And we don’t even know if she’s going to make it through the night. Wow, maybe I really should go back to the hospital to be with Buffy. She could really use me right now. I hear Kennedy give out a little sigh and I look over at her. She smiles as she gently pulls the bottle away from Addison. She wouldn’t make a good mom, yeah, and I got a forty-five on my SATs.


“Asleep at last.” She whispers and then goes into Buffy and Faith’s bedroom and puts her in the basinet. I sit down on the couch and wait for her to come back. I really need her right now. I’ve missed her more then she could possibly know. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to have hot mind-blowing sex here...again. I wouldn’t do that...again. Ok, remember the time when Faith was going all crazy because of that demon thing and Buffy and a bunch of other slayers ran off to go fight them? Well when Kennedy got back she sort of jumped me here in the living room. It’s not like I was saying no, or wanting her to stop in anyway, but we can’t do that now because the kids are here and I tend to get pretty loud and they don’t need that kind of trauma. I’m sure Matt is damaged enough from just his two parents. “Hey baby.” She says as she walks into the living room and sit down next to me. “It’s good to have you back. I missed you so much.” She wraps her arms around me and pulls me closer to her. She gives me little butterfly kisses all over my face. See what I mean about the affection? Normally she wouldn’t be like this. But I’ll be quiet about it because I like the attention. Did I say like? I mean love, I love the attention. “Buffy’s going to stay at the hospital tonight so we’re going to baby-sit the kids. We’ll just sleep in their bed tonight.” Sounds good to me. We’ve done this before. When Buffy and Faith are going to stay somewhere else we’ll baby-sit, it was just Matt back then, and we’ll sleep in their bed. They encourage it because these couches just aren’t comfortable enough for overnight sleep.


“Well I’m pretty beat, you wanna just go to bed now?” She smiles at me and gives me a little kiss on the lips and starts running her fingers through my long hair. Yep, I definitely love the attention. She takes me by the hand and leads me to the bedroom. She knows as much as I do that nothing is going to happen other then sleep. She’s already changed into her pajamas because she had a heads up about a sleep over, but I have to change into some of Buffy’s boxers and a wife beater. I wanted to have packed a bag since I took a lot of my clothes to Ohio but then the students were talking about how this could be demon related so I got sidetracked. But this is fine, Buffy and I are about the same size so it’s not big deal. “Mmm, I’ve missed this.” I tell her as I snuggle into her arms. She smiles, I don’t know how I know I just do. I can feel her smile. She gives me a little kiss on top of my head and I smile widely. We drift off to sleep and about an hour and a half later the phone rings. We both grumble and she answers it really quick before it wakes up the baby.


“Hello?” She’s quiet for a few seconds. “Anyone there?” She’s getting a little agitated. “I’m going to hang up so either talk or fuck off.” She’s grumpy when she’s tired. However is on the other end starts to talk I guess and Kennedy gets a little upset. She’s tense and she’s not breathing regularly. She gets like this sometimes when she’s on the phone with her sister. And her sister doesn’t call much, maybe a dozen or so times in the last few years. “I can’t, I’m sorry. I have to watch the kids…” What? Who’s on the other end of the phone?


“Kennedy, who is it?” I ask but she ignores me. I know she heard me because she has that wonderful slayer hearing. So why is she ignoring me? This is stupid. Why isn’t she answering me? I get up, a little frustrated and I go into the living room. I know that this breaks almost all privacy laws out there but I don’t care. I hate it when she ignores me because that means she hiding something. I spot the cordless phone and I pick it up and press the talk button and hold the phone to my ear. Nothing can prepare me for what I’m about to hear. Nothing.


“...Never have you told me that you love her.” It’s Cordelia and she sounds really upset. And what the fuck is she talking about? Yeah, I’m known to cuss occasionally. I’ve changed a lot since Sunnydale. “It’s always ‘I love you but I can’t hurt Willow.’ Or ‘I’m sorry but I care for her too much’.” What? I’ve gone numb and all I can hear is what she’s saying and I can’t see anything in front of me. Nothing else matters but the phone in my hand. “Please, I know you told me it’ll never happen but I really need you right now even if it’s just you holding me for a while. Willow can watch the kids so please Kennedy, please come over.” Oh my God! I throw the phone down. I don’t think I turned it off but it doesn’t matter. I stomp off towards the bedroom and stand in the doorway just as Kennedy hangs up the phone. I just stare at her with anger, and shock and pain. How long has this been going on? How has it been going on? She told Cordelia that she loves her? She can’t even tell me that. She gets up out of the bed and walks towards me. I back up to give her some space and she walks out of the room and closes the door. She tries to hold my hand but I pull it back roughly. I follow her out to the kitchen, she turns on the light and then sits down at the table. I sit down across from her and just stare at her. I can feel tears burning the corners of my eyes.


“I’ll start from the beginning but just to let you know nothing happen while you were gone, I swear on my life that nothing happened.” But something happened before that? I’m quiet, I’m too pissed for words. She takes in a deep breath and lets it would slowly and then she starts. “It started eight years ago when we went to Angel’s hotel after the battle. We were together almost that entire week since you were sleeping almost none stop. I told her that it wouldn’t last, that I love you, but she’s been persistent. She thinks that we belong together, and she really wants me to leave you for her, but I won’t, I swear it.” She stops talking and looks down at her hands. She takes in another deep breath but she doesn’t look up at me. “We’ve been in contact over the years, a few phone calls. Remember when I said it was my sister on the phone?” I shake my head a little. I cannot believe I fell for that. “Well, it was really her. We were together again when she came up to visit when we were broken up.” She goes quiet again and she’s still looking at her fingernails. I smack the table to get her attention and she looks up at me. I have tears in my eyes I know, but I don’t care.


“Do you love her?” She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t move. She just sits there. I really want an answer to this question. She’s not getting out of this conversation without answering it. “Kennedy, answer me, do you love her?” She sighs deeply and runs a hand through her long hair. I sigh and ask it again. “Do you love her?” I don’t sound angry, hurt and pathetic but not angry anymore. She looks at me with this look in her eyes, like hearing me sound so upset is hurting her too. At least she feels something for me.


“I love you.” That’s not what I wanted to hear. She didn’t answer my question, at least not really. I get angry again and slam my fist down on the table. Over dramatic yes but I don’t care right now. I’m just so angry that if I didn’t have complete control I probably would have magiced my fist through a wall or something. “That’s not what I asked! Just be honest with me, do you love her!” Ok, maybe yelling isn’t such a good idea with two little kids in the house, but I’m just so angry. I can’t breathe and my chest feels like it’s being compressed by a really heavy weight or something, like someone is sitting on it. I can hear the blood rushing through my ears and it’s really irritating. I need to calm down before I have a heart attack or something. I feel some of the hot tears fall from my eyes but I ignore them. I just stare at her. She has tears in her eyes and her breathing is erratic. She nods her head yes and I think I just heard my world shatter. And then she makes it worst by talking. Well, I guess I deserve it, I did ask her and I told her to be honest. It’s kind of pointless to deny anything now, I guess.


“Yes I do. I really do. I told her, when I thought we’d never be together again, that I go away with her, but then you took me back. And I never wanted to hurt you Willow, I swear, I never meant for any of this to happen. And I’ve tried to make these feelings stop but they won’t go away. I’m so sorry. I know how much this means to you, I know how much you care about me and I didn’t want to ruin that. I didn’t want to leave you because I know how devastated you would be. You gave me something special, and I betrayed that I know, but I thought that as long as you didn’t find out about it that it’d be ok. I thought that if enough time went by then these feelings would go away but they won’t. And I don’t know what to do anymore.” I hold in my sobs. I refuse to cry in front of her. She’s lied to me for years, she’s soiled my trust in her, and she’s tainted everything I thought we had. I refuse to give up my dignity as well. I stand up and go back into Buffy’s bedroom and get dressed. She doesn’t even follow me. I guess that’s a good thing, it’ll make this easier. I walk out into the kitchen and she’s still sitting there, only now she’s crying.


“Stay here and watch the kids. I need to get back to the hospital. Buffy could really use a friend right now.” I walk out the front door and she doesn’t even try to stop me. I walk down the steps, out the gate and down the driveway. I fold my arms over my chest because it’s cold out and I don’t have a jacket. Great, and now it’s raining. Just the perfect thing to make this depressing day even more depressing. I start to walk down the street. I don’t know where I’m going, I’m not paying attention to anything around me. All I can feel is this burning ball of anger and pain building up inside of my chest. And all I can see if Kennedy’s face, the tears falling down her cheeks, the honesty and truth in her eyes when she told me that she loves Cordelia. She loves Cordelia. I start laughing, soft at first but it grows and grows until I’m forced onto my knees I’m laughing so hard. If anyone where out here to see this they’d probably think I’m crazy. Maybe I have gone mad, who knows? I calm myself down and get up and continue to walk down the street. And as the rain pours down, stinging my eyes and cheeks, and as the wind crackles through the trees I disappear in a soft cloud of smoke. I need to get away from this place and now.


FPOV


Ow, I’m sore all over it feels like. What the fuck happened? Where am I? This doesn’t feel like my bed at all. How long have I been asleep? And who’s touching me? Is Buffy back? How can Buffy be back, she isn’t supposed to be back for another week and I still have to go shopping for her surprise. Why is it so cold in here all of a sudden? Ah, that feels much better, I don’t ache anymore. What’s that noise? Is someone chanting? Yeah, they’re definitely chanting, and it sounds like Willow. What the fuck? She’s supposed to be in Ohio with Buffy and Xander. I open my eyes really slowly. Ouch! Bad idea. That really fucking hurt.


“That fuckin hurt.” I bring my hand up to my eyes and rub them a little bit. I hear someone start to cry and my eyes shoot open. It’s Buffy, she’s crying her eyes out, she looks exhausted. Where am I? I take a good look around the room. I’m in a hospital, just great. I wonder how long I’ve been in here this time. I look down at my legs, both of ‘em are in casts. What the fuck? I look over at my right arm, the entire thing is in cast. Come on Faith, think, what happened to you? Then I hear someone start talking, it sounds like Red.


“Ok, I’m going to fix the brain damage now. This will probably take a while, fifteen maybe twenty minutes.” What is she talking about? I feel her put her hands on my temples and this cold chill runs down my back. I start to shake and I can hear the heart monitor beeping loudly. Images start to flash before my eyes, and my lids are forced closed. I see Buffy leaving the bedroom as she heads out for Ohio. I see Kennedy and Cordelia fighting in the living room. I see myself getting into the car to go to the Motograter concert. I see that guy, Mark, holding onto my arms and leaning into kiss me. I can feel his mouth on mine, almost like a phantom, and I can almost feel his hardness against me as I tease him. I remember running out of the room, sitting up on the rock on top of the hill by the jogger’s trail and wanting Buffy to be there with me because it was a really romantic spot. I remember getting in my car and driving around for a while and then takin it home and bringing out the bike. Oh fuck! I crashed my bike! If I crashed my bike why am I not in excruciating pain right now? I feel a warm breeze pass through the room and then I hear Red exhale the breath she musta been holding.


“Faith. Faith can you hear me?” I don’t want to talk to her right now. I’m too embarrassed because I crashed my bike. Not only that but Buffy’s going to kill me. She didn’t want me to get it in the first place and I was always telling her that because I’m a slayer I can handle it better then normal people, even better then the professionals. She wasn’t too convinced but she got off my back about it. But now…I don’t think I’m going to make it home alive. “Faith, I know you’re awake, you had your eyes open. Faith.” I still play possum. I can practically feel the anxiety comin from B but I’d rather just lay here for a few more minutes. I hear Red sigh and then I feel her pinch my arm, really hard. I think she put some magic behind it to give it a little more sting.


“Fuck you Red.” I yell out as my eyes shoot open and I reach for my arm but it’s still in a cast so it won’t move. I hate being in a cast. It fucking sucks. I could so easily break this too. Just keep bending my arm until the mold breaks. Then I could just walk out of here. A thought crosses my mind and a sliver of panic runs through me. “How…how long was I out?” What if I’ve been in a coma for months or years? Did I miss my kids growing up? Has Buffy been a single mom for a really long time? I look over when I see movement and Buffy practically throws herself on top of me. She’s crying her eyes out, and her body is shaking violently. And I can’t even hold her good enough because one of my arms is in a fucking cast. “Shh, baby I’m alright. Shhh.” But she keeps crying, and it’s tearing me up inside.


“You were only out for three days. I had to wait until your brain was a little better before I could do the spell. I’m glad you’re ok Faith. And from now if you’re going to ride off into the night on your motorcycle, be a little more careful ok? I need to get out of here.” Something’s wrong with, I can tell. It’s not like I’m ‘queen of observation’ but she doesn’t sound very happy, and she looks really sad. And the weird thing, she doesn’t even walk out the door, she just disappears into a little cloud of smoke. She’s never done that before and it’s pretty trippy to see. So, I was only in a coma for three days. Well, that’s good I guess. Better then eight months or even a week. I’m already starting to feel a little stir crazy. I need to get out of here and fast before I lose my sanity.


“Buffy, baby, I know you’re upset but please get off me. I need to get up.” She shakes her head no and clings onto me tighter. I gently rub her back and give her head a little kiss. After a few minutes she starts to calm down and sniffles really loudly. That’s gross. She sits up and rubs the tears away from her eyes and then gives me this evil death glare. And here it comes. This is why I wanted to play possum, but no, Red just had to pinch me, didn’t she? Oh well, I guess I’ve got this comin. I’m quiet as I wait for her to start in on me but she doesn’t. She just stares at me for a minute or two and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. I guess she wants to clean up a little bit first. While she’s gone a doctor walks into the room. Tall, maybe five seven, with red hair, a long white doctor’s coat, she sort of reminds me of Addison Shepherd from Grey’s Anatomy. Hmm, maybe I will stick around if she’s my doctor.


“Ms. Lehane, nice to see you awake. My name is Dr. Wolski, how are you feeling today?” she asks as she sits down on the edge of the bed. She pulls that stupid little pen light thing out of her front coat pocket and then holds open my eyelid and points the light onto my eyes. She nods her head, which I take as a good sign and then she does it to the next. “Pupils are very responsive, that’s really good.” See, I told you it was a good thing.


“I’m feeling fine. A little anxious, but otherwise I’m good. When do I get to go home?” She sighs and looks up at some of the monitors and then looks at my chart. She writes some stuff down and then calls for one of the nurses. I hear something about a CAT scan, and some blood work being done. I cringe at the thought of it. I hate needles. Buffy is always teasing me because I can handle demons and vampires and other scary monsters but I hate the thought of a needle being stuck into me. “So, you never answered my question, when do I get to go home?” After the nurse leaves she gives me this look, this sympathetic look. Ok, why is she looking at me like that? Was the accident really that bad?


“Ms. Lehane.” Wow, nobody’s ever called me that before. It sounds so weird. I mean, I understand the reality that I am a mother but no one’s ever made me sound like one before. They’re always like ‘oh my god you’re a mom? You look way too young’. But I don’t think I’ve ever sounded like a mom before. It’s hard to explain. “You have severe internal damage. When you hit the ground you landed on your stomach, which caused a lot of your organs to bruise or rupture. We fixed most of the damage, your spleen had to be taken out, but you need to stay here for observation while you heal. We also need to do a couple more operations on you. Your pelvic bone is broken from the impact of the crash and we need to go in and fix that by placing some screws into the bone.” What she doesn’t know is that Red already fixed me up. “So, Ms. Lehane, you won’t be going home for a while. The extent of your injuries is pretty severe so you’ll be here another month, possibly longer.” She’s delusional if she thinks that’s going to happen.


“Look, Dr. Wolski, I know you’re just doin your job and makin sure that I’m going to be fine but this is my decision and I want to leave.” I sound stern maybe a little mean but I don’t care. I want out of here and I’m not going to let a She-Shepherd look-a-like keep me here. She sighs and lightly scratches at the skin by her watch. Probably just a nervous tick or something. I hold back a smile. From what I hear it takes a lot to irritated a doctor and I’m getting under this one’s skin. Is it strange that I feel proud?


“Look, Faith.” Oh so we’re on a first name bases now. This must be her trying to identify with me and get down to ‘my level’. Well it’s not gonna work because I’m better. Red fixed me. Maybe I should send her some flowers as a thank you. Maybe a fruit basket? I’ll think of something when I get some. “Your injuries are massive and they’re not going to heal on their own. If you leave this hospital without the proper medical care you will die.” So much for getting down to my level. Trying to scare the patient into staying, aren’t you like not supposed to do that or something? “Recovery isn’t going to be easy but if you’re going to survive at all you need to stay here.” No I don’t. I really wish I could explain to her why I don’t need to stay but I can’t. If I even said the word witch or magic I’d probably be taken in for a head CT right now. I sigh heavily but it isn’t a sigh of defeat. I’m leaving and that’s all there is to it.


“And it’s something I’m willing to risk. Please, cancel whatever tests you have me signed up to take and get me the sign out papers because I am leaving and there’s nothing you can say that’ll change my mind.” I hope she doesn’t know about my kids because if she uses the ‘kid card’ I might just say. But she doesn’t, she finally gives. Or at least she leaves the room. Hmm, I wonder if they’ll send in a Doctor Stevens look-a-live, ‘cause that would be wicked. I smile to myself about that and then Buffy walks out of the bathroom. She was in there for a long time, I hope she’s ok. She walks over and sits down on the bed next to me. I give her a small sad smile and then sigh deeply. “So, three days huh?” She nods her head yes and I can see fresh tears welling up in those tired eyes. I wonder if she’s been home at all.


“Yeah, and a lot’s happened too. Not just your accident. Willow and Kennedy broke up and Willow’s been staying in Ohio and just teleporting back when she needs to. Kennedy and Cordelia are trying to get things worked out between them. Apparently after the big battle when we stayed at the hotel Kennedy and Cordelia were together and Kennedy promised her all of these things, like they would be together and Cordelia says that she fell in love with her. And then Kennedy picked Willow but Cordy just couldn’t let it go. And when she was up here last time, when Willow was staying with us, they were together again and Kennedy promised that they would run off together but that didn’t happen. And apparently Kennedy stayed with Willow for so long because she didn’t want her to get hurt but she really loves Cordelia. And they’re just talking now and trying to get things worked out I guess.” Wow, what a fuckin time to be in a coma. I missed all that? I swear, the next time I crash my bike I’ll make sure to land on my ass that way I won’t be comatose and miss everything that’s going on.


“Damn. How are the kids? Have you been home at all?” She nods her head yes. I lift my bandaged hand up and wipe away a stray tear that’s making its way down her face. She lies down on the bed next to me and rests her head on my shoulder. I pull her closer using my good arm. Well, my other arm is good but I can’t use it because of the stupid cast. I cannot wait until the drive home. I’m going to have Buffy pull over on the side of the road so I can break them off and then we’ll throw them in a dumpster or something because I don’t Mattie seeing me like that. Buffy sighs and starts toying with the tips of my hair. She gives a little tug and I fight back a groan, I love it when she plays with my hair.


“Fine. I didn’t tell Matthew how bad you were, just that you fell off your bike and you’re hurt. He’s upset and staying in his room mostly. Kennedy’s been calling every couple of hours and giving me an update on what’s going on. She said that Addison is a little fussier then usual. But it’s not like I would know.” And here comes the guilt. Sure she doesn’t know her own daughter. In this short month Addy has developed a lot and her personality is already starting to show a little, and Buffy’s been gone so she’s missed out on getting to see her change. But I can’t let her feel bad for it. She had to go, really bad things could have happened if she didn’t. Yes, worst then this.


“Hey, don’t worry about it. You had to leave, Giles really needed you. And you’re home now and you’ll get to spend as much time with her as you want, getting to know her habits and stuff like that. Besides when we go to Ohio I’ll take care of the juniors and you can take care of the kids. Addy’s on the bottle now so I don’t have to be around her all the time anymore.” As much as I want to be I know the reality of it. We’re all going to Ohio together and B and me are going to share the responsibility of being the two original slayers. And if they thought Buffy was pissed and harsh, which I’m sure she was, they’ll have no idea what’s hit ‘em when they face me. Like I probably said before, I’m a very hands on person, if one of the brats back talks me or doesn’t want to do what I want them to I have no problem giving them a good slap across the face, or sparring with them and showin ‘em who’s boss. And before she can point out the fact that I said ‘we’ I start to explain. “I’m gonna talk to Giles about Red and Xander building us a small two bedroom apartment type thing on the grounds. This month has been hell without you and it isn’t fair that you have to miss out on so much because those brats are actin up. After Christmas when you planned on goin back we’ll all go together. I can talk to Red about bein a comic taxi and teleporting Mattie to school an’ back, that way he won’t have to switch schools.” She sighs and I know she wants to protest and point out all of the bad things about my plan but she doesn’t, because she wants us to go with her as badly as I do. And then the doctor walks back into the room holding three clipboards. I don’t think this is going to be a good thing.


“Ok, Ms. Lehane, if you really want to leave then there’s nothing we can do to stop you. But I’m putting it in your record that you’re doing this against medical recommendation and if you’ll just sign this.” She hands me the first clipboard and Buffy holds onto it and then she hands me a pen. I scan over the words, it looks like some kind of contract or something. “This will go on file instating that we tried to convince you not to do this but you did it anyway and if you die or suffer any further injury that is caused by you leaving then your family cannot sue the hospital or any of its employees.” Ah, ok. Well, that sounds fair I guess. I’m not left handed so this is a little difficult. Alright, and it’s signed. Buffy hands it back to her and then the doc hands me the second clipboard. “These are the release papers that you need to sign. It’ll take a couple of minutes and then I’ll be back to go over the prescriptions that you’ll need to get.” I hate taking medicine. She sets the third clipboard down on the counter and then leaves the room. Buffy helps me sign all of the papers and it takes about ten minutes. I cannot wait to get all of this stuff of me. Ok, this has been bothering me for a while now. If Red healed me then how come the doctor hasn’t said anything? I mean, a crash as bad as the one that I had there’s gonna be road rash on my arms and face and I don’t see any on my arms and I haven’t look in a mirror but I don’t think there’s any on my face. So how come she isn’t marveling at the fact that I’m all better?


“Get those all signed?” she asks as she walks back into the room. There’s a nurse wheeling a wheelchair. I guess I’m going to have to sit in that. “Ok, here are the orders for your prescriptions. Follow the directions very carefully.” She unclips three pages off of that third clipboard and hands them to me. There’s got to be a hundred prescriptions here. Oh well, it’s not like I have to take them or anything. I watch as Buffy gets up and the doctor and the nurse start unhooking me from the machines and they take the IV needle out of my arm. God that feels so much better. Buffy reaches into a bag that’s sitting in the plastic chair. When did that get there? She takes the stupid hospital gown off of me and changes me into a large t-shirt. That feels better too. She forgot to get me a bra though. Oh well. Then she leans in really close to my ear.


“There’s more clothes in the car.” I smile at her and give her a little kiss on the lisp. She lifts me up off the bed and sets me down in the wheelchair. The doctor and nurse are looking at her like she’s some kinda freak. Right, ‘cause I really weight that much more then her. Whatever. I say thanks to the doctor and nurse and then she wheels me out of the room down the hall through the waiting room and out the big front doors. God this cold hair feels so good right now. “So we’ll drive for a little bit and I’ll call Willow on the cell and have her come and finish the spell. I didn’t think you were going to demand to leave like that.” What? Finish the spell? I thought it was done already? I feel fine, how come she didn’t finish it? “The plan was for you to appear to still be bad that way the doctors wouldn’t suspect anything. You still look like hell to everyone but you and me and Willow. To everyone else your face is swollen and road rashy, along with your hands, your organs are about to die, your legs and arm are still broken and I don’t even want to go into the brain damage.” Wow, so that crash really fucked me up. It’s dark out here and no one’s around so I guess now is the perfect time to do this. I bend my arm and the cast breaks like it’s nothing. I pull it off of me and toss it aside. Someone else can clean it up. I scoot down in the chair and then bend my legs. It takes a little more force but they break just the same. I stand up out of the chair and pull my baby into a big hug. She starts crying again. I really wish she’d stop that. I can’t stand to see or hear her cry.


“I was so scared. We thought you were never going to wake up. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I can’t lose you Faith, not ever.” We hug each other tighter and I can feel her tears running down my neck. A cool breeze sweeps by and I’m suddenly very aware of the fact that I’m only wearing a t-shirt. I shiver and she laughs a little. It isn’t funny, I’m literally freezing my ass off out here. She pulls back enough so she can see my face. She gives me a little kiss on the lips and then reaches into her pocket and pulls out her keys that are on the Daffy Duck key chain I bought her and the bag that she had brought with her. “Here. Go get in the car and warm up. I have to take the chair back and then we’ll call Willow and have her fix you up.” She gives me another kiss on the lips and then takes the wheel chair back to the hospital. As she’s walking away I can’t help but check out her ass. And then another breeze picks up and I shiver and run to the car. I quickly open it and jump inside. I open up the bag that she has in the backseat and I slip into the sweat pants and I pull on the sweatshirt so fast that I almost rip it. I see her running towards the car and she jumps in on the driver side about fifteen seconds later Willow shows up in the back seat in a puff of smoke. She doesn’t look so good. Should I say something? No, I think I should be quiet.


“Close your eyes.” She tells me, so I do. She rests her hands on either side of my head like she did before. I shiver when I feel the cold rush of magic work its way throughout my body. A couple minutes later she’s finished with whatever it is she did. She says her goodbyes and then leaves in another puff of smoke. Well, that was sort of depressing. I look over at Buffy and she gives me this small, sad smile. I smile back and reach over and take her by the hand. I give her knuckles a little kiss and she smiles at me. I let go of her hand and she drives us home. It’s really late and I’m not expecting anyone to be up. Well, maybe Kennedy but not the kids. I guess life is just full of surprises because as soon as I open the door Mattie comes flying into my arms. I wrap my arms around him and he hugs me tightly. After a minute or two I pull him back a little.


“Mommy said you were hurt.” I smile at him and use one of my hands to ruffle his hair a little bit. I nod my head yes and he starts to look closely at my face and then my neck and then my arms. “You don’t look hurt.” I smile at him again and then put him down on the floor. He wraps his arms around one of my legs. He looks up at me with those big puppy dog eyes. And now I know why B can never say no whenever I start to pout, nobody stands a chance against that.


“That’s ‘cause aunt Willow fixed me up. I’m all better now. How ‘bout you go crawl into bed and me and Mommy will come tuck you in.” He pouts for a couple of seconds but he gives in and walks off to his bedroom. I sigh deeply and then look over at Kennedy. Poor girl looks like she’s about ready to drop. I walk up to her and do something that’s pretty rare. I pull her into a hug and surprisingly she hugs me back. The typical type of physical contact between us is a playful punch in the arm or something so for us to hug it’s kind of weird but she needs it. “Things will get better.” I whisper into her ear. She nods her head a little and then pulls back. I look over where I last saw Buffy standing but she’s gone. “So, you and Cordelia huh?” She nods her head yes and looks down, like she’s ashamed. “So are you two only talkin or what?” She sighs and takes her hair out of the flimsy ponytail it was in.


“We’re just talking. She’s staying at a hotel and I’m still at the house. I don’t know where Willow’s staying. She won’t talk to me. And Buffy’s been worried about you and she’s pretty pissed at me so she won’t say anything. I’d like to know if she’s ok, but I guess it’s none of my business anymore.” She pauses and we sit down on the couch. I can tell she needs to get some of this out. “I really thought that if I was with her long enough, that if I stayed away from Cordy and just be with her then eventually I’d love her as more then a really good friend. But it never happened and my feelings for Cordelia never went away.” She pauses again and we both sigh. This is going to be tough on everyone. I just hope it doesn’t turn into a huge fight and sides are picked because I know that I’ll have to take Kennedy’s side. What she did to Willow will be better when she gets over the hurt. She’ll be able to move on and find someone who will love her. Yep, it’s better this way. I just hope Kennedy told her about her bein in love with Cordy and she didn’t find out on her own.

“Kennedy. Go home. Get some sleep. I’m not tryin ta run you out or anything but you look worst then the walkin dead.” We smile a little and I get a tiny laugh out of her. See, she’s getting better already. “Thank you so much for takin care of the kids. I’ll talk to you later, ok?” She nods her head yes and then gets up, and walks out of the house without saying another word. I sigh and then get up and walk towards Mattie’s room. I stand in the doorway and watch as Buffy argues with Mattie and tries to get him into the dumb Clifford pajamas she bought him. He hates that dumb red dog, I don’t blame him for putting up a fight. But she thinks they’re cute and likes it when he wears them. She’s so weir sometimes. “Hey, what’s the problem in here?” I ask in a mock-serious tone as I walk into the room. They stop what they’re doing and look over at me. I give B a little wink and then look over at Mattie. “Well?” I raise an eyebrow at him for dramatic effect.


“Mommy wants me to wear those stupid dog pajamas but I wanna wear the fire truck ones.” He whines and then throws himself down on the bed. Wow, he really is tired. He normally doesn’t throw temper tantrums, which we are so grateful for. I have a feeling we’re going to be putting up with a lot of those when Addy learns to crawl. I walk over to the dresser and ignore them as they start to argue again. B’s doin her best to stay calm but she does have a temper, and she likes it better when she gets her way on just about everything. I pull out the snowman pajamas and walk over to the bed. See the problem with B is she argues with him and tries to make him see reason. I just go in and have him do what I want. I don’t ask him to, so there’s nothing to protest. At least that’s how it used to be. “I don’t want those I want the fire trucks!” And he takes after Buffy’s ability to yell really loud.


“You do not yell at me.” I sound stern and he knows not to push it with me because I don’t put up with his arguing like Buffy does. I know that out of the two of us I’m the sucker for his antics, but I know when to put my foot down, and he listens to me more. She’s always hated that about me, but whatever. I get him changed and I hear Buffy sigh. I wonder if that’s a good thing or not. I pick him up and pull back the covers and then tuck him in. Buffy’s right at my side now, her arm is wrapped around my lower back. This is our usual routine for putting him to bed. “’Night, Mattie, love you.” I say and give him a kiss on the forehead. He says it back and then B says her piece and then gives him a kiss. He says that he loves her and then we leave together and I turn out the light. Yep, everything is going to get back to normal soon and we can all forget that she was ever gone. I yawn widely. You’d think after being in a coma for three days I wouldn’t be this tired.


She gives me a little kiss on the neck and we walk into the bedroom. We change into our pajamas and then crawl under the covers. Because the basinet is so close to my side of the bed I can sit up and then lean over and give Addy a little kiss on the forehead. I lay back on the bed and Buffy snuggles up to me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. God this feels so good. I’ve missed her so damn much. She turns around in my arms and looks over at her bedside table. I look too, it’s 12:03 am. Then she turns back to me and kisses me. I kiss her back until we can’t breathe anymore. She pulls back, panting and smiling wide. She rests her head on my shoulder and lightly kisses the exposed skin.


“Merry Christmas, baby.”