Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me

Xander gritted his teeth as he walked out of the school. It was daylight still, but the sun was beginning to get that orange look and the shadows were longer. It was strange how he wasn’t afraid of the dark anymore, not really.

The day after the failed Parent Teacher Conference had sucked from moment one. He’d slept on the couch and his neck had a crick, for all that Spike had apparently stuffed a pillow under his head before going to bed himself. He’d been almost late for school and forgotten homework for his science class.

Then there was the oddness of Cordelia, actually talking to him as if she…liked him. It was weird and creepy and he wondered if that was a sign of the world ending, right before it started raining frogs.

Add to that the Scooby meeting and his day down the toilet was now complete. No one seemed to care that Angel had offered him up for a snack. Well, not true. Giles had glared rather hard at the brooding wonder but he didn’t say anything. That Xander heard, at least.

Buffy thought it was funny, though. She wouldn’t have thought it was funny if Spike had ripped his throat out and left his body on her front porch. Willow just kept mooning at him, and Giles was giving him looks, as though to remind him to let her down. Like he was going to do it in front of everyone there. He was young, not stupid.

He had finally given up and left. The girls were going to ‘patrol’ the football game again, wanting to make sure that no vamps took advantage of an open-air buffet. He just figured it was a way to stalk Giles and Ms. Calendar again and watch the guys bend over in their uniforms. Not that that was a bad thing, per se, but, for one, he was mad at them.

For another, they weren’t Spike.

As he turned onto the street that was next to his, he saw a familiar DeSoto sitting in the shade of one of the trees. Xander shook his head ruefully and ran up to the car, jumping into the passenger side quickly.

“I was just thinking about you.”

“Really, pet? Good thoughts, I hope.” Spike threw the car into gear and took off down the street, punk music blaring. Xander leaned forward and turned it down before leaning as far back into the seat as he could. He hated cars with no seat belts.

“Umm, I guess. If you consider me comparing your ass to the entire football team’s and finding all the other guys lacking.”

Spike let go of the steering wheel long enough to light a cigarette and Xander kept reminding himself that as a vampire his reflexes would be fast enough to keep them from hitting the cars in the other lane. Really.

“Not sure if I like the idea of you looking at other blokes, Xan.”

He just shrugged. “It should make you feel better that you measure up to any of them.”

Spike snorted. “You don’t play these jealousy games well, do you, pet?”

“What? Okay, I am so not playing a game or trying to get you to…eat the team or anything. Just stating a fact.” Xander squirmed in his seat. He wasn’t used to talking like this, admitting out loud that he did look at the other guys. He was just glad he didn’t have to take gym anymore; if he got caught looking at other guys in there he’d be beaten black and blue.

“Didn’t mean nothing by it, luv, just not used to it. Dru was always playing me against someone -- Angelus, Darla, other demons -- to make me jealous so I’d come back to her. There were times when I couldn’t see straight, she had me so twisted around her little finger.”

“That sounds like it would suck.” Xander looked out the window and noticed they were taking the ramp onto the freeway. “Where are we going?”

Spike looked at him oddly before turning his eyes back to the road. “You said you wanted Mexican and I know of a nice restaurant in the next town over. That way your little friends won’t see us.”

Xander looked at himself in panic. He was wearing his sneakers, a pair of jeans and a gray tee shirt with a back corduroy button down on top of it as a jacket. “Oh my god, we’re going on a date and I didn't get dressed up. And that just proves how gay I am now, worrying about clothes, but I would have dressed up…or at least showered and made sure I was Sure.”

“Stop panicking, pet! You’re fine, 's not like we’re going to some nancy-boy place. It’ll be dark and look like crap but they have the best enchiladas and salsa to kill for.”

Xander squeezed his eyes closed. He could imagine Spike killing someone over something like salsa, that was just…how he was. Still, he was panicking. He was being driven down the freeway at about a hundred miles an hour on his first date. Ever. With a male, who just happened to be a vampire.

He figured he was allowed a few minutes of panic.

*****

Spike was right; the salsa was worth killing over, as was the guacamole, the tamales, and the chimichangas. The chips were home made and warm and for dessert there were churros, their sugar and cinnamon coating his fingers.

He tried to be good, though, and not embarrass Spike by acting weird in a restaurant. He actually used his napkin rather than lick his fingers like he would have done usually. He also stayed away from the refried beans and the black bean dip; he so didn’t need the added worry on a date.

Over dinner, they talked. And by the time they left the place Xander was much less panicked. It was fun, really. Being on a date was a lot like what they usually did when they were hanging out, just with added bonuses. Like holding hands.

And the making out they were currently doing against the DeSoto.

Xander found his back against the side of the car, the door handle digging into his thigh. He didn’t care, though; all he cared about was Spike’s lips. How they felt against his, how they felt against his throat. How he felt like he was on fire.

He didn’t have a lot of experience for comparison. Other than their kiss the other night, there had been just a few friendly pecks with Willow and one on the lips kiss with Cordy when they were in third grade and Jesse had double dog dared him. But the way Spike was kissing him, it felt like his brains melted and dribbled out of his ears.

At first he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands or how to respond. Finally he gave up and put his arms around Spike’s neck and just stopped thinking. After a few moments he remembered to breathe through his nose, which helped a lot since Spike didn’t need to come up for air.

Their tongues met and Spike’s seemed to sort of curl around his before he pulled back and nibbled at Xander’s lips for a moment before pulling Xander even closer to him. All of Xander’s blood seemed to be rushing to his lips and his cock and he noticed that at some point in time he’d gotten hard.

It seemed that as soon as he noticed, it was very uncomfortable. Without even thinking he moved his hips against Spike, trying for some sort of friction or relief.

Spike pulled away again, stepping away from him till he was a full arm’s length from Xander. They were both breathless and the heckler in his head cheered that he'd managed to make Spike pant. A cool hand caressed the side of his face.

“Best stop, luv, or else your first time will be on the hood of the DeSoto and I don’t think you’re quite ready for that.”

Xander just nodded and Spike opened the door so he could slide into the passenger seat. He was really glad that Spike was older at that very moment; if he hadn’t been more mature, Xander was sure he would have gone just a bit too far for a first date.

*****

Xander yawned and pretended to be interested in his science homework. He was failing that course, just about, but couldn’t find it within himself to care. He had enough science credits to graduate; he was mostly taking Biology II to stick with Willow and Buffy.

Buffy and Giles were training, or having an argument using the training equipment, he wasn’t quite sure which. His brain was a bit too muzzy. Staying up late so he could spend some time with Spike and trying to slay was playing havoc with his sleep schedule.

“Mm. Just this once I'd like to be the Overlooked One.”

“Well, I'm... afraid that is not...” Buffy gave Giles a hard kick and the older man staggered back. “You have responsibilities that other girls do not.”

Okay, he so did not want to get into the middle of this. He hated it when Buffy and Giles fought. Well, they weren’t fighting, exactly. It was more like a discussion with punches. He hated these things because he could see both sides.

Buffy was the Slayer, it was her job to go out and kill the vampires and monsters of the night. If she didn’t, innocent people died. Then again, she deserved to have a night off once in a while.

“Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.”

“It's as if you know me.”

Giles’ voice was dry and at its most sarcastic. Xander frowned. Okay, that was just stereotypical. Spike was English but he wasn’t stuffy, even if he did like scones. Buffy unleashed another punch and kick combination and Giles staggered again.

He shook his head. “You know, Giles, if you want I can patrol with you and Buffy and Wills can go to the dance. That way the Hellmouth is covered and Buffy gets her night of girly fun.”

“What? You can’t patrol, Xander!”

“Hmm, that’s an excellent compromise. Fine, Buffy, you can go!”

She stopped and looked at Xander and then back at Giles. “Xander can’t patrol with you! He’s all…fragile. And he’s going to the dance with me and Willow.”

“Hey! I am so not fragile. Besides, I hadn’t planned on going to the dance, Buff, sorry. I can’t really see me dressing up. It’s bad enough Snyder is forcing us to take the kids trick or treating at the end of the month. Me and Giles can have a night of male bonding, being all guy friend like. We’ll patrol, kill a few fledges and then I’ll try to get Giles to buy me imported beer. It’ll be fun!”

“I am not buying you alcohol.” By the small smile on Giles’ face, he could tell the Watcher knew he was just playing around. Xander turned a pout on him.

“Awww, you’re no fun.”

Buffy looked from him to Giles again and Xander fought back a snicker. If this was a cartoon her eyes would have been bugging out. “You’re saying you want to hang out with Tweed Man? And miss out taking Willow to the dance?”

He just knew that with his luck Willow was standing right behind him. “I was going to try to get my Mom’s car but this works out. You and Willow can have a fun time at the party and Giles and I will go out and…um, kill things. Besides, it’s not like anything bad is happening right now.”

******