This Place and Time

A blur – it seemed to describe the past week perfectly. Xander wasn't quite sure why the days held a dream like quality to them. Maybe, he thought, it was Angel. Since the day he went all, weird, on the vampire; Angel seemed to be treating him differently.

They hadn't spent much time together because, of course, Angel had other people preoccupying his time. But when him and Angel were alone the vampire became, far too hands happy with him. Lots of hugging, lots of sweet vampire kisses – his favorite – and general groping. They were like two high school teenagers who couldn't keep their hormones under control. Then he kicked himself mentally because, of course, he was in high school. Hormones, there was a good excuse for not being able to keep his hands off Angel's muscled, pale body.

When he had come back to his senses after crying on Angel's shoulder for hours, he felt completely ashamed. Which was easy to feel because he couldn't come up with a justifiable reason for having acted the way he had. Plus crying, he hated to cry. What he had been feeling came from a place hidden deep within him which he hadn't been aware existed. The excuse seemed lame, so he apologized to Angel. Telling the vampire that he had overreacted and that he'd try to keep himself under control.

But Angel simply told him he had nothing to apologize for, and kissed him deeply. Whenever Angel's cool lips touched his own, or whenever he was captured in the vampires firm embrace, he felt as though he were flying. Angel could make him feel so many things simply by touch, and it was rather scary when he realized how hard he had fallen for the vampire. Soon, he knew, he would tell Angel he loved him. But not yet. There was a right time for everything and he knew that when that time came he'd know. Soon, very soon, but not now.

There was a patrol every night the past week. Him and Angel were still paired into their own group, because Buffy still did not want him and Oz to be around each other.

That was a whole different story in itself. Him and Buffy hadn't really talked since he yelled at her the night at the mansion. Willow was true to her word and told Buffy that he'd been sick. So words exchanged between them were kept to a minimum. However, she had talked to him about that night. But, on the phone. Thank the higher powers because face to face Buffy talk was not going to be comfortable.

It was shocking to say the least. She had actually apologized to him, and he was the one who had acted like an ass. But she did. The talk they had seemed so -- dumb. She said she was sorry for having kept Angel a secret, and that she knew the gang had their worries about him. But then she went on to say that she would not apologize for being there, because it was her personal life and she didn't have to answer to him, or anyone else.

That only got him thinking – Did she ever listen to herself speak? Figuring that would be the best he got out of her he accepted the apology, but didn't apologize himself. Luckily she hadn't asked him to, because he might have started yelling – again.

Jealous much? So yes, he had become completely possessive and tried to take up as much of Angel's time as humanly possible. But of course, Buffy would be at the mansion, spending time with him. And he had to wonder what it would be like to tell Buffy about him and Angel.

She'd freak for sure. There were several reasons he could figure why she'd probably want to hurt him. One, the gay thing. Which, shouldn't bother her too much. Two, the I am attracted to Angel thing. That would get her up and defensive. But she'd probably figure that it wouldn't happen anyway. Then three, the I'm already with Angel thing. Pain, pain, pain – fist in the face, vision fades to black. Yep, he felt that would definitely be her reaction, since the idea that she'd be able to accept it was too far out there. Twilight Zone out there. So he'd leave it alone for now and keep it a secret for as long as possible.

Fortunately Angel had the same idea. There were no real words said about it, but it seemed like silent agreement – to him at least. Angel had been so odd when it came to Buffy. Whenever confronted about her, Angel had this miraculous talent of side stepping the question. It made Xander feel a bit angry. Whenever she was at the mansion, and he knew she was there frequently, he felt overwhelming jealousy.

Angel sensed it, the vampire always could. And whenever that happened Angel always reassured him with a passionate kiss. Damn, Angel could side step anything – but in the best of ways.

With him and Buffy on silent friends relationship, the only person he talked to about anything was Willow. To put it lightly, Willow smothered him with cheerfulness. All the 'awe's and 'that's so cute's, were killing him. She was happy for him, he got it. It was great she was accepting, and a well wisher, but he had to draw the line some place. So he made sure that when him and Willow had there chats, there would be NO Angel discussions.

He loved the vampire, but he needed to try to keep his mind away from him for at least ten minutes of the day. Which was far more difficult than it sounded. Angel's a very needy fantasy subject.

Willow hadn't found any spells to bind Angel's soul, yet. But she had found leads. The whole process was rather confusing, and when she had explained it he simply nodded continuously . No point in pretending he understood. The word spell had clicked and the rest was a jumble of confusing sounds.

The days had gone by so fast and he only looked forward to the end of patrol. Because Angel walked him home every night, and that's all he really needed in his day.

"So..." Angel nudged his side as they walked down the street.

"So, what?" He nudged Angel back.

"Only a few days, you ready?" The vampire wrapped his arm around the boy's waist, holding him close.

"Yeah, I've packed a few things." A lie. Xander had packed the day after the offer -- he wanted to be ready ahead of time. It seemed a little, weird, so he decided not to admit that he practically salivated thinking about a whole weekend with Angel.

"That's good." Angel talked slowly, pausing shortly after each sentence. "I have, plans. You know just, stuff, for us to do. We'll go out."

Xander nestled his head on Angel's shoulder and wrapped his own arm around the vampire's waist. "Really," he sighed. "I was kind of hoping I'd just get to see the bedroom." He smiled into Angel's shoulder and kissed lightly at the vampire's soft skin.

Angel let out a steady breath. "Stop," the vampire commanded, not sounding too convincing.

"No." Xander's smile became a wide grin and he nipped lightly at Angel's skin, causing a moan to emit from the vampire.

"And you called me the evil one." Angel's arm crept lower until his hand could easily slip inside the waistband of the boy's jeans. As Xander nipped lightly at his skin, Angel gave his ass a firm squeeze.

"You know," Xander moaned. "We're kind of out in the open. Anyone could just walk by and see you molesting me."

"And?" Angel chuckled and squeezed his ass slightly. " I don't see anyone around. And, you started it."

"You should really act your age."

"And you should enjoy being touched." Angel forced Xander in front of him and smiled as he lightly kissed the boys lips. "Which," he paused and rubbed his groin against Xander's, both becoming erect at the light friction. "I think you do. You want me to touch you don't you?" He smiled menacingly and kissed lightly at Xander's neck.

"Yes!" Xander moaned and wrapped both arms around the vampire.

"You want me to own you?" Angel chuckled against his skin, causing a light shiver to sweep his body. "Want me to dominate you?" The vampire bit lightly into his skin while another cool hand disappeared into the waistband of his jeans – both firmly squeezing his ass.

"What happened to the broody you?" Xander moaned. "Someone's gonna see us," he said worried.

"Fine," Angel said in mock disappointment. "Hold on!" The vampire gave him fare warning before taking off in a mad dash toward his home. Angel was a lot faster than he thought. All he could do was wrap himself around the vampire and hold on for the ride.

A loud thump and Xander found himself breathless, his back pressed against a wall. Looking around, he realized, he was already home; on the porch, his arms and legs wrapped around Angel – the vampire had him pinned.

"How did you do that?" He said breathlessly.

"Do what?" Angel smiled and looked him in the eyes. Oh god, he felt that floating feeling again.

"How did you get here so fast?"

The vampire chuckled. "I guess I'm just quick. And we were only a block a away. But," he leaned in and kissed Xander's lips lightly. "We're not completely out in the open anymore. I'm surprised your parents don't keep the porch lights on. Oh well, better for me. I can touch you all I want. Don't complain either." He emphasized his point by giving Xander's ass a hard smack.

Moaning, Xander rubbed his clothed cock frantically against Angel's. "I think I like this new you. Maybe I'll give up on broody Angel all together. I like the spanking one better." One hand still firmly squeezing his ass, Xander felt the other smack him again. A gasp escaped his lips and he attacked Angel's mouth, forcing the vampire into a bruising kiss.

Angel pulled away and gave him yet another smack. "So, my boy likes to be spanked?"

Xander felt his insides clench and a weird hollow feeling. But a good hollow, a lighter than air hollow. And if he hadn't felt light before, he sure did now. Wrapping himself more firmly around the vampire – fingers intwined in thick brown hair, legs hocked around Angel's lower back – Xander buried his face in Angel's broad chest and let his body relax.

"I'm your boy?" he said softly. Angel was, breathing. Xander could feel the cool breath on his neck and his body shivered in delight. It felt surreal.

"Yeah, you’re mine Xander," Angel said softly.

"Does that mean… that, you’re mine, Angel?"

There was a short pause, then cool lips met his neck. "Yeah, that's what it means. You're my Xander, and I'm your Angel."

Another light kiss on the neck, he shut his eyes and snuggled against the vampires chest. As if he held tighter they'd mold into one. Xander smiled. He was Angel's. He. Was. Angel's!

"I love that," he said in a groggy haze.

"What do you love?" Angel lightly rocked into him. The wall at his back made it a bit uncomfortable. But it still felt like heaven to Xander. Plus, vampire hands on his ass, that was always fun.

"I love that I'm yours."

"Oh," Angel held him tighter. "What else do you love?" the vampire smiled and licked a path from Xander's neck to his ear.

"Chocolate and twinky's."

"Twinky's are food right?"

"No," Xander chuckled. "Twinky's are heavenly yellow cakes we stare at and drool over. We eat them because they tempt us. So you see they're more than food."

"Oh, maybe I should go on all twinky's diet, I‘m sure many vampires have. Who needs blood right?"

"Why I do believe that's sarcasm. I love that to."

They shared a smile. Xander forgot his lust driven thoughts and concentrated on the vampire holding him. True, Angel had been acting cheerful around him lately, but he liked it. Should he be worried? There was a thought near the surface of his mind, but he couldn't quite remember what it was. He pushed it back and thought for a moment. This felt like a right time to tell Angel that he loved him. That he was IN love with him.

It felt like a time. But it wasn't the time. At that moment he planned it out and could picture the whole scene in his head. He would confront Angel, declare his undying love, then the big moment – revealing Willow has found a way to bind his soul. Perfect! Just, perfect.

Then if he was lucky, there would be vampire hands in new and unexplored places. He smiled widely against Angel's chest. So the lust was still there. But this felt better than any orgasm, because, he was Angel's. And he repeated it to himself over and over, loving the way it sounded.

He belonged to Angel. Angel's boy. It felt right.

Too busy concentrating on Angel holding him, and lost in thought, he had fallen asleep in Angel's arms – still wrapped tightly around the vampire.

"Xander," the vampire spoke lightly in his ear. "Xander wake up. You should head inside."

"Mmuph," was all he could get out. His groggy eyes opened and he lifted his head to stare at Angel. "I... uh, wow," he sighed. "Do I have to? S' comfy." His head collapsed on the vampires shoulder as he shut his eyes, trying to regain that blissful slumber.

"No, you should go to bed now. You're tired. I'll see tomorrow," Angel spoke softly.

"One more minute, please?"

Angel smiled. "OK. One more minute."

A few minutes passed and slowly Angel lowered Xander back unto his feet. Xander felt weak, his legs buckled and he nearly collapsed. But Angel caught him in time and held him up until he could properly stand on his own.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now go get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow." Running his hand through the boys curly brown hair Angel pressed his lips gently against Xander's. With a smile, he pulled a away. "Goodnight Xander."

Xander returned the smile. "Night."

Minutes passed and Xander stood on the porch, watching as Angel gradually disappeared into the darkness of the night. The smile wouldn't leave his face. To put it simply – he felt good. A few more days, he told himself. A few more days then him and Angel -- bedroom, hot vampire luvin', and hopefully new exploration.

Walking inside he slowly shut the door and just stood there for a moment. He took a calming breath and was ready to go to bed.

"Look who finally came in."

"Oh GOD." Xander jumped and turned around. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, he chanted. Standing only feet away was his father. Beer in hand, mussed hair, obviously very drunk.

"Dad... uh, I was just about to go to bed. So, goodnight." He walked cautiously toward his father, who was blocking the hallway. When he was an arms length away from the imposing figure he was shoved hard against the wall – the blow winding him.

"Yeah I'd bet you'd like that wouldn't you? Dream about your little friend."

His eyes widened. "Dad, you don't... you don't understand."

"Really? I think I understand you little freak. You're some kind of, some kind of, what? Some kind of queer?"

He panicked. "Dad please. You'll wake mom up."

"SHUT UP! Don't tell me what to do you piece of shit." His father approached, the heavy smell of alcohol on his breath. "Imagine how heart broken your mothers gonna be when she finds out her son is just some, little sissy."

"Dad please, let me go to my room. We'll talk about it tomorrow I * promise *. Just..." Mid-sentence a fist slammed into his face. He slumped against the wall and tried to curl into himself – just like he did every time.

"I could see you through the window, kissing that, that, that man. You stupid little shit you thought you could bring that crap into MY home and I wouldn't notice?"

"Please, I'm sorry. Please," he pleaded. Not now, not now, he chanted to himself. He pleaded with his father over and over -- but was silenced by another blow to the head.

"Yeah, you're gonna be sorry."

TBC


A/N:

I know I left this fic high and dry. I'll try and update it soon. Hopefully. Err, I've just been busy s' all.