Je me souviens

Author's Note: This is for Dylan, Mac, and faith_delivers, who taught me how.
Author's Second Note: I hope the wait was worth it.

Chapter Fourteen

*

Faith held Buffy's hand as they came out of the apartment building. Grey twilight, fading to orange in the west, glimmered above them in the narrow lanes of sky between buildings. Faith turned away from the light, into the long shadows that inked the alley. Buffy followed her, only the eager gleam of her eyes and the flash of her smile giving away her position. Faith sank into the rhythm of hunting as naturally as breathing. She was a Slayer, and it was good, so good, to have that power. Night was their time--hers and Buffy's. God, she'd missed this! Eight months! It felt like a lifetime. She'd fallen into a deeper darkness than any she'd known, but she'd climbed out on the other side, and somewhere along the way, she'd learned to fly. She felt like a falcon, light and strong and fierce. Joy filled her in a sudden wave, and she laughed, and pulled Buffy into her arms just because she could.

"You know how long I've wanted to patrol with you?" she asked, letting her hands fall to Buffy's hips and tugging her closer.

"We patrolled together all the time," Buffy said. She blushed, flustered and pink, but she smiled coyly at Faith through her lashes. Her hands crept up Faith's arms until they linked behind her neck.

"Not like this," Faith murmured. Buffy's eyes were so incredibly green, like the sea when it grew deep enough to be dangerous. Faith started to smile, losing herself in Buffy's dreamy, unhurried gaze. She'd never been able to stare for as long as she wanted. She'd never come close to filling herself with just looking. Buffy's eyes darkened, and it was like watching a storm drift in over open waters. Faith felt like she'd never breathe again, and that it didn't matter, she wouldn't need to. Buffy was there to bring her back to life, every time. Faith leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. Excitement shimmered through her, and she knew better than to think it was nothing but their Slayer connection. Buffy's lips parted slightly, and Faith heard the sharp intake of her breath.

"Faith..."

"Mmm?"

"What are you thinking?" Buffy's fingers whispered through Faith's hair, tracing shivery trails over the back of her neck.

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Remember Homecoming?" she asked, grinning. She did. She remembered, which was almost as good as the memory itself.

"I remember being wet and muddy--"

"I remember your dress nearly falling off 'cause the strap was torn. You were so fucking beautiful..." Faith smiled. "Still are."

Buffy's answering smile was like a sunrise. "Not like you." She leaned forward until their lips met. Faith caught her breath and closed her eyes under the gentle assault of Buffy's tiny butterfly kisses.

Faith had never believed in luck, just in shitty things happening, but she had to be luckiest person in the world right now. Her amnesia was cured--and if a lot of her life was terrible, then a lot more was memories of Buffy--her adorable, embarrassed blush when Faith had pressed her about loving the Slaying; every smartass quip she'd ever made during training or on patrol; the way they'd danced...like lovers, teasing each other with every melting look and flirting touch, knowing that they'd come together eventually but in the meantime pretending to be just good friends, really. And it had all gone to shit, yeah, but here they were now, and Buffy was so soft, so wonderfully warm in Faith's arms. Impatient, Faith sucked Buffy's lower lip into her mouth, pushing forward. This kiss came with memories: the sweet-dusky taste of Buffy's mouth, the insistent, heated slide of her tongue.

"Buffy," Faith breathed, the word lost in Buffy's lips. "God, yeah..." She hooked her hands under Buffy's ass, pulling her up until she was half supported by Faith's thigh, and half by her arms around Faith's neck. Buffy moaned softly, both satisfied and longing, a sound of oh, finally, yes.

Buffy deepened the kiss, her mouth slanting across Faith's, their tongues meeting and twining together. Eagerly, Faith massaged Buffy's ass, her hands moving in time with her thundering pulse. For a long moment after Tara and Willow's spell, she'd felt like she had two lives: the person she'd been before the coma, and the person she'd become. She'd felt cracked in half, dizzy and uncertain. How could she be both--the enraged Slayer and the woman who'd fallen in love in the space of a day? Kissing Buffy, now, here, was like every answer she'd ever wanted. She'd always loved Buffy. The yearning she'd felt, the familiarity, was her heart remembering more than her mind ever could. Remembering that this was possible, Buffy kissing her more and more frantically, her hips moving in tiny jerks under Faith's hands.

Buffy broke away from the kiss, her breathing harsh and uneven. "Ohhh...Faith...love you," she panted, and rolled her hips forward, slow and hard. Her head dipped forward, her fingers clutching the back of Faith's neck. She gasped and rocked forward again. Faith watched for a long moment, her mouth open, hardly able to breathe. Buffy was so goddamn sexy, her body trembling as she desperately tried to control the rhythm of her hips, squeezing Faith's thigh between her legs, that Faith barely realized her hands were helping Buffy push closer each time.

Faith took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "Hey," she said, releasing her grip and stroking her hands down Buffy's back. "Thought I was the horny one here?"

Buffy tilted her head back, her eyes dark and half-closed, breathing quick and light. She pouted slightly. "I never said I wasn't..."

"You did learn a few things in my body then..."

"Just...that I didn't have to hide it all the time..."

"Mmm." Faith lifted Buffy away from her, half her mind telling her not to be stupid, go for it, here was as good as any other place, and the other half saying that they were still in an alley and maybe that would be good enough someday but right now it sure as hell wasn't. She wanted all of Buffy, naked and spread on soft sheets and breathlessly begging Faith to oh God just do it, please Faith, I'm so close, I need you, want you, love--you--oh--Faith! "Not yet."

Buffy pouted harder for a second, then suddenly grinned. "Race you?"

Before Faith could answer, Buffy took off, running down the alley. "Hey!" Faith yelled, sounding like her old self, of angry sex and laughter. "No fair, B!"

Buffy spun around at the corner where the alley met the street, her blond hair whipping over her shoulder. "Aw, you weren't ready yet, Faith?" She touched her forefinger to her breastbone, then ran it slowly down the front of her blouse, letting it catch on the dipping waist of her jeans, tugging them lower. Faith felt all her breath leave her body. Buffy's eyes slid closed, and she licked her lips. Faith slumped back against the cement, her knees melting, her pulse pounding so hard she was amazed she didn't keel over from a heart attack. When exactly had Buffy learned to do...this? She was going to die, she was really going to die of wanting Buffy naked and moaning beneath her. Buffy looked up, slowly, staring at Faith, her finger toying with the top button of her fly. "'Cause I was."

Faith groaned. "That...is not...fair."

"I didn't think so," Buffy said with a wounded sniff.

Faith pushed off from the wall and sprinted for Buffy. Buffy squeaked in surprise when she saw Faith coming after her. She bolted, laughing breathlessly, glancing over her shoulder to see if Faith was catching up. She ran like a cheetah, golden and graceful and faster than any human could ever be. Faith matched her, pushing hard to close the distance between them. Their feet pounded the asphalt, Buffy's laughter and Faith's curses echoing off the walls.

Buffy didn't run directly for home, but dodged into a sidestreet, then burst out into a kids' park, racing across the soccer field. Faith closed in behind her, adrenaline surging through her. She was only a breath behind when Buffy hurdled a fence into another maze of back streets. Faith knew all of them like the back of her hand. Buffy was a flitting shadow in front of her, disappearing and reappearing as she chose an almost random series of lefts and rights. Faith followed her easily. She remembered every dark corner, every make-out spot in all of Sunnydale. She'd used more than a few of them in her time, and saved a lot of people from fatal hickies in the rest. She reached for a burst of speed, caught Buffy's wrist, and jerked her to a stop.

Immediately they were kissing again. Buffy slid into Faith's grasp, soft and yielding, abandoning any sign that she'd ever wanted to escape. They were both panting and frantic. Buffy stepped back for an instant and yanked the hand Faith held across her body, spinning her around. Faith ended up pressed face-first to the wall. Buffy held her there, one hand over hers on the bricks, the other squeezing her hip. They kissed again, Faith with her face turned sideways to meet Buffy's mouth. Their lips crashed together. The kiss was hard and deep and rough and oh so right. Faith bucked backwards. Buffy slammed her body forward again.

"Stay," Buffy hissed. She pushed her hands under Faith's t-shirt. Her fingernails grazed the skin over Faith's ribs, then moved up.

Faith gave a high-pitched moan, almost a sound of pain. Her pussy ached, a sudden throbbing demand, and how did Buffy know? "B-Buffy--"

"Want you," Buffy muttered. Her hands cupped Faith's breasts. She circled her thumbs around Faith's nipples through her bra. They hardened under her touch. Faith felt her hips shove forward in instinctive response. There was nothing to press her pussy against, and she whined in protest. Buffy gasped when Faith's ass rammed back into her crotch. "You like this, hmm, Faith?" she asked, panting. She pinched Faith's nipples. Faith surged backwards. Her whole body was on fire, her nipples sending shocks of pleasure deep into her center. "You like me...in charge. God, I was so horny yesterday...when it hurt just a little bit..." Buffy took a shuddering breath, then closed her teeth on the juncture of Faith's shoulder and neck.

"Ahhh--Buffy!" Faith's breasts pressed into the wall, her nipples hard and electric with pleasure-pain from the rough touch. Her face turned so that half was scraped by the bricks, the other half meeting Buffy's skin, her lips hot and violent, her hair brushing between them. Faith spread her legs as she leaned forward, loving the feel of every inch of Buffy's body pinning her to the wall.

Buffy turned her bite into a sucking kiss, just under the collar of Faith's shirt. Faith shuddered beneath her. Before...before, she'd always wanted control, needed it, demanded it. Buffy stripped it away, left her needing more than she'd ever get, and Faith loved it anyway. Her body wanted to lose control. Anger or passion, it was all the same, and Buffy knew that, Buffy was giving her permission to lose herself in feeling. Buffy's hand splayed open on her stomach, then crept lower. Buffy was the only one who could control her body when she let loose. Her hand pushed beneath the waistband of Faith's pants. Her fingers went further, until they rested an inch above where Faith wanted her most. Faith writhed, her legs opening wider, her body begging for that touch.

Buffy's breath puffed against her ear. "You...don't want this here..."

Faith squeezed her eyes closed. It was hard to focus on anything. Buffy's fingers were pressing, circling, and at any moment they might move down that last tiny distance to her clit. Fuck, she could feel herself getting wet, desperate for Buffy's touch. But, no, not here. She wanted Buffy on her own terms: their own bodies, both of them knowing what they were getting into. Taking all their history into account and saying that none of it mattered. Faith gripped Buffy's wrist and slipped her hand out of her pants. She turned around, still holding Buffy's hand, and kissed her fingertips. She could smell herself, and she closed her eyes for a second, getting her control back. "Your place?" she asked. "What if everyone's there?"

Buffy nearly growled, sounding sexy as fuck. "Then they'd better have stakes and holy water, because I am kicking them out."

Faith tried to picture Buffy forcing a stake into her mom's hand and hustling her out into the night just so they could get down and dirty, and raised an eyebrow, amused. Buffy had learned a thing or two about want, take, have. And it seemed to work both ways. Faith leaned back against the brick wall. She was horny as hell, yeah, and it wasn't like her body wasn't yelling for her to get back to the business at hand, but there was something deeper than that, too. A sort of deep, slow satisfaction, a lazy sense that they had all the time in the world. A feeling that maybe it was just as good to want as to get; that stolen kisses in all of Sunnydale's alleys were enough in themselves.

Buffy stepped closer, between her legs, and lifted a hand to touch her cheek, and Faith leaned forward to taste her lips. God, she loved Buffy, and maybe what Buffy's body had taught her was that forever was possible. They kissed, and it was so, so gentle, but there was an amazing emotion behind it, and for once, Faith wasn't scared. They were still Slayers, still like as not to die some night when a demon got lucky, but Faith had woken up this morning in Buffy's bed, in Buffy's arms, and even now, remembering everything, she knew she wanted the same thing tomorrow. The itch between her shoulderblades that had kept her running every year since her mom kicked her out had finally vanished. She watched Buffy's eyes, in the tiny moments between kisses, and felt a love so deep she knew it was printed on her bones, in her muscles; it was part of her, part of her body. Beyond memory. Buffy studied her solemnly, and traced her thumbs over Faith's cheeks. In the touch of her skin Faith knew that Buffy felt the same thing. It shone through their connection like moonlight, white and clear.

"Let's go," she said. "Home."

It wasn't far. The lights were off, and Buffy had to use her key to let them in. "Okay," she said. "Either they decided we're trying to kill each other and have gone searching for us, or they figured out we're not trying to kill each other, in which case I really don't want to know how they explained that to my mom."

Faith picked up a note that was laying on the small table near the door. "Um, B, I'm thinking it was door number two."

Buffy snatched the note from her and read it. "Tara seems to think I should work late tonight. Very late. We will talk in the morning, young lady."

Faith wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder. "It doesn't say 'young lady'."

Buffy dropped the paper. "Oh yes it does. I can just hear it tacked on at the end."

"You can hear the writing that isn't there?" Faith grinned.

Buffy nodded. "Yes. Yes I can. That or 'Buffy Anne Summers, you had better stay put.'"

"Hmm." Faith turned her head slightly, pushing Buffy's hair away, and kissed the side of her neck. "Is that bad?"

Buffy shivered. "You...ah...don't understand..."

"I don't?" Faith nibbled her way up to Buffy's earlobe, teasing it over and over with her tongue.

"Nooo..." Buffy's eyes slid closed and she tilted her head, baring her throat. "Tara's...a complete stranger...Mom's never even--unnh--met her..."

"Mmm-hmm." Faith let her mouth follow a leisurely path down Buffy's neck, pausing randomly to lick small patterns, or suck gently on her skin. "So?"

"So...she's...uh..." Buffy seemed to lose her train of thought for a moment, then shook herself slightly and continued. "So Mom shouldn't have heard it from her."

"You don't trust Tara?" Faith asked, smiling into Buffy's skin. She returned to Buffy's earlobe again, exploring the tiny spot behind it that had driven her crazy last night whenever Buffy touched it.

"It's just..." Buffy gasped and panted softly. "Oh...Faith..."

"What?"

"You know what..."

Faith bit gently at Buffy's throat, just below her ear, and teased her tongue over Buffy's skin. "I do?" she whispered, her breath raising goosebumps. She knew Buffy was close to cracking, and the thought that she was the one doing it, she was the one Buffy was moaning for, was such a fucking turn on.

Buffy whimpered, her hands clutching at Faith's on her stomach. "Okay, okay! I'm taking a magnifying glass and asking the gift horse to say 'ahh'."

"More like a telescope," Faith said, trying not to smirk. Oh, yeah, she was good. The house was empty and Buffy wanted to analyze it to death. Faith could appreciate patience better now, maybe, but that didn't mean she was dead. Less thinking, more groping!

"I do want to tell her--"

"We'll tell her," Faith assured her. "Tomorrow."

"Yeah," Buffy sighed, melting backwards. "God, you're incredible. I don't think I can walk."

"Really not a problem," Faith said. She swept Buffy off her feet, grinning at her astonished squeal, and charged up the stairs. Faith grinned. The crashing, exultant joy from earlier was back. "We're Slayers, girlfriend!"

"The chosen two," Buffy answered, laughing. She slipped out of Faith's hold at the top of the stairs.

Faith waggled her eyebrows, daring her, laughing. She was a Slayer! No one could beat her. Only Buffy could match her. And it wasn't like she was going to try to win. Much. "You gonna try something, B?"

Buffy gave a show of innocence, then, faster than even Faith expected, stepped forward and hooked her leg behind Faith's knee. She jerked Faith off-balance, catching her as she fell. Buffy smiled smugly, carrying her the rest of the way to her bedroom, and said, "You're not the only one."

Faith rolled her eyes. "Like I could forget," she said with a snicker. Even when she'd first woken up, disoriented and aimless, she'd known there was something superhuman about Buffy. "Put me down."

Buffy raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile curving her lips. "Make me."

"Oh, B, you did not just challenge me..."

"Oh, I think I did," Buffy said. The smug smile was back in full force.

Faith gave her most dangerous stare, but Buffy didn't flinch. Probably because Faith couldn't seem to stop smiling for more than a second. She knew what was coming. They might not be enemies, but part of their friendship had always been the half-serious contest to see who could come out on top...and this was just another way of winning. Faith stretched, arching her entire body in Buffy's arms like a lazy cat, letting out a moan that was nearly a purr. She caught a bit of the smug smile herself when Buffy's eyes widened and her breath hissed out. Before she could regain her control, Faith reached down and pulled off her shirt in a single lithe motion, flinging it away.

"You sure you don't want to put me down?" she asked, letting a single fingertip drift down her stomach to her bellybutton, her own featherlight touch making her shiver. Buffy wasn't the only one who knew how to tease. Her nipples hardened, dusky pink and straining through the black lace of her bra. She was going crazy, wanting Buffy's mouth on her, sucking and biting. She licked her lips, staring into Buffy's eyes, and without thinking, let her hand brush across her breast, sighing when her nipple tingled in her palm.

Buffy nearly dropped her. Her mouth was open slightly, her eyes full of shocked arousal. "Bed. Now."

Faith was so eager to do just that, she forgot to gloat. That one whispering touch had brought back all the urgency of their earlier kisses. Her pussy ached, and she was so fucking wet, and she could smell that Buffy was too. Keeping her eyes on Buffy's face, Faith unhooked her bra, letting it follow her shirt to the floor.

"Oh, God...Faith..." Buffy's gaze was hotter than sunlight. Faith felt like she'd be burned by her look alone. The awed, open desire on Buffy's face made her even more beautiful. She stepped forward slowly, as if she was walking through water, and her eyes took in every detail of Faith's body.

She reached for Faith hesitantly, as if she was suddenly shy, and her touch was softer than anything Faith could remember. Faith groaned in frustration. She took Buffy's wrists and moved her hands to where she wanted them. "Like before," she whispered.

Buffy met her eyes for an instant, then, without warning, she bent forward and took Faith's nipple in her mouth.

"Oh fuck," Faith whispered. Sweet fire erupted low in her belly. The only thing that existed was Buffy, her mouth, her hands pulling Faith towards her. Buffy bit her nipple, swirling her tongue across the peak over and over again. Faith gripped her arms hard enough to leave marks, gasping for more. Buffy's hand found her other nipple and pinched it. Faith jerked and shuddered. Buffy tracing ghost patterns on her skin, and ran a fingertip along the crease under her breast, her teeth nipping and exploring at the same time. "Ah fuck that's it, yeah--B--so good--"

Buffy ran her tongue up over the curve of her breast. "You're gorgeous..."

Faith chuckled breathlessly. "I noticed...yesterday..."

"So did I," Buffy admitted, blushing.

"Did you touch yourself?" Faith asked. She met Buffy's eyes for a long, burning moment, and then Buffy ducked her head to hide her embarrassment. "Did you?" Faith insisted, dark-voiced, pushing. "In the shower, imagining it was me?"

"Yeah," Buffy breathed. Her eyes were bright and wild with embarrassment and remembered heat. She shoved Faith onto the bed and climbed on top of her, her hands busy on Faith's belt. She pushed Faith's pants open and closed her eyes, breathing deeply of Faith's scent. Faith lay back and let her, transfixed, her skin burning. She was so hot, and Buffy blushed even harder when she said, "I couldn't help myself. I always...just...I mean, you were always so sexy, so obvious...and I wanted a part of that. I...love your breasts...your stomach..." She massaged each part as she named it, ducking to kiss Faith just above her bellybutton, her tongue flicking over her skin. Faith panted each time she felt the nibbling pass of Buffy's mouth. Buffy was so fucking good, every word she said bolting through Faith like a thousand touches. She pressed her palm to Faith's pussy, and Faith arched off the bed. "I love this," Buffy whispered. "So soft..." Roughly, suddenly, she pulled Faith's pants off her hips.

"Fuck, Buffy!" Faith felt the heated tide of all of Buffy's kisses running through her. "You gotta lose the clothes."

Buffy kissed her, then backed away with a secret smile, looking down at herself. She was fully dressed, straddling Faith's hips, and she brushed her lips next to Faith's ear. "I do?" she asked, full of sweet coyness. "Why, what do you want to do to me?"

"Everything," Faith said, dropping her hands to her sides in total surrender, total honesty. She wanted to memorize Buffy with her eyes, to imprint her brain with every moment she never thought she'd have. She wanted to create a memory she'd been forbidden before. She'd always believed Buffy's love would save her. Maybe not so literally, bandaging the soul-wounded parts of her that needed this moment even more than her body did, but she'd known. Buffy was the only one Faith would allow to give her everything. The only one she'd give everything to in return.

Buffy breathed out, desperately slowly. "Oh, Faith..."

"I love you, Buffy." It was easier saying it now, as if practicing could make it flow from her lips. It would never be commonplace, though, never words that Faith could drop like casual conversation.

Buffy smiled and backed away, standing up past the end of the bed, her eyes never leaving Faith's. She grabbed the hem of her shirt and raised it over her head, letting her whole body tighten in one long glorious stretch, showing off, her muscles rippling under her summertan skin. Faith watched, watched, couldn't look away, remembered the softness of that skin in her own shower, remembered it hard and hurting a thousand other times, remembered it best when Buffy touched her last night, wanting her and not the body she wore. Buffy unfastened her bra and dropped it, unbuttoned her pants and stepped out of them in an easy graceful motion. Moonlight outlined her ribs, the shallow curve of her breasts, the perfect dip of her side where her waist met her hips. Faith's eyes travelled down, to the trimmed hair between her legs, glistening with arousal. Faith forced herself to stay still, waiting while Buffy teased them both, lifting her hands up through her hair the way Faith did when she danced.

"You have a fucking amazing body, B," Faith whispered.

"Mmm..." Buffy preened, half aren't-I-pretty happiness, half dark eagerness, and her nipples stiffened into hard peaks, and Faith wanted to taste them. She wanted to laugh, suddenly, amazed all over again that she was here. Buffy came to her, crawling across the bed, and Faith forgot she'd wanted to laugh. She was dizzy and hot and Buffy felt like hot silk against her, that gorgeous skin against hers. Her thoughts whirled, oh sweet fuck, oh God, and she remembered flying again; being with Buffy was flying.

"I want..." Buffy closed her eyes, then opened them again, looking half-drugged with moonlight and love.

"What?" Faith asked, mapping Buffy's body with her hands, finding every spot that made her moan, made her heart pound. "Tell me."

"You...I want to touch you..." Buffy kissed her, her breath hitching and uneven, trying to hold back and failing. She moaned. Faith swallowed the sound, met it with desperate words of her own. Buffy's tongue struggled with hers, and their hands tangled reaching for each other. Faith flipped them over, rolling Buffy half underneath her, and kissed her way down her body.

"Ahh...oh Faith...yes," Buffy whimpered, shivering when Faith reached her breasts. Faith gave her a wicked grin and taunted her with her tongue, mouthing the rounded side of her breast, licking over and under and down to her stomach and returning and giving her nothing. Buffy jumped and quivered, her stomach taut under Faith's kisses. She bit her lip on a frustrated groan. "You...uhhn..."

Faith kissed her stomach, sent her tongue darting into her bellybutton, fucking it teasingly. The sound of her name on Buffy's lips urged her on, and she ran a hand down to Buffy's thighs. "God, you're so wet."

"For you..." Buffy lifted her hips slightly. Faith gasped, seeing her exposed, her pussy lips deep pink and swollen. She pressed against Buffy's thighs, spreading her, brushing her inner thighs with her fingers. "Ohhh--unnh!" Buffy's muscles trembled, and Faith could see her hole clenching and releasing, so ready for her touch.

"B, fuck you're beautiful, oh God..." Faith positioned herself over Buffy, between her legs, then lowered herself until their clits rubbed together.

Buffy's head lolled back and her mouth opened in a silent cry. She moved under Faith's weight, grinding her body upwards.

"Ahhh, shit, Buffy!" Faith pushed her hips back in instant response. Her muscles pulsed in reaction, pure pleasure centering so deep inside. She dropped her head, kissing every inch of Buffy's skin she could reach, finally taking Buffy's nipple into her mouth. Buffy's breath exploded out, her body going insane, moving into Faith's touch.

"Ohh...uhhn--Faith--" Buffy moaned over and over, her hips flaring upwards in perfect rhythm. Every sliding movement jarred Faith with exquisite sensation, perfect and untouchable. She was hot and wet and sliding her clit against Buffy's pussy, supporting herself on her arms, pleasure ripping through her in long dark waves. She pressed her hips down in a light circle. Buffy's hand clamped down on her wrist, her mouth open and panting, her eyes fixed on Faith's. Her legs twined around Faith's back, pulling them together. "So close," she said, fast and frantic. "So ready. I'm...going to come for you, Faith, for you--"

"Buffy...Buffy..." Faith said her name each time she rolled her hips down, with each flaring burst of excitement.

Buffy bit her lip, her fingers digging into Faith's wrist. Her eyes flickered shut. With an amazed cry, she froze, then bucked up harder and faster. "Oh! Oh! Yesss!"

Faith tried to match Buffy's pace. She felt her orgasm building, so close, like sunlight, like ocean waves, like joy filling her mind and leaving her empty and pure. Faith came in a rush, wild and delirious, pressing her mouth to Buffy's, kissing her, kissing her. She felt each shudder that ran through Buffy's body, the long slow sigh as she relaxed.

"Mmm..." Buffy moaned deep in her throat. She reached up a hand, burying it in Faith's hair, holding her still for the soft kisses that were bringing them back to themselves. Faith rocked her hips forward a few more times, slowing and finally stopping.

"So good," Faith muttered, kissing around Buffy's ears, smiling when Buffy sighed. She didn't know what else to say. She buried her face in the hot junction of Buffy's neck and shoulder, kissing and nibbling. How could she tell her how much this meant--how there had never been anyone who gave her so much without causing pain?

Before...

But then, Faith didn't really want to think about before. She'd been given a second chance, and really, wasn't that enough? Her scar was gone, and she could feel that her soul was her own again. If her connection to Buffy was deepened because of that, then that was a good thing--it had to be. If she tried, Faith could sense the thrumming contentment running through Buffy's mind. Probably it would only make them better Slayers, a better team.

Was that what Buffy wanted now? Where was Faith's place? Yesterday she'd had no idea what the Scoobies meant when they called her psycho, murderer, slut. Now she couldn't forget.

Buffy slid her fingertips down the length of Faith's back. "Do you remember that day?" she asked, suddenly, her hands never pausing their light strokes.

Faith shifted her weight. She didn't need to ask which day. She remembered Alan Finch's blood on her hands, Buffy's horrified face as Faith pulled her away. The thing about regaining her memory was that she couldn't shut it off when she wanted. "Yeah."

"I almost..." Buffy paused. "I mean, I would have. That night. If..."

"If I hadn't killed that guy." Faith muttered the words, muffling them in Buffy's chest. She hated talking about it. She hated remembering. Maybe that had always been her problem. She lived like the future was the only thing, running away from any yesterday that was less than perfect. She kissed along Buffy's collarbone, hoping to distract her, and wishing she knew a better way.

"I just wanted you to know." Buffy gave a Slayer-swift twist, and she was on top, looking down. Her hair was mussed and golden-dark, her skin hot and glowing with sweat. She stared into Faith's eyes. "That's when I knew I loved you."

Faith couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped her. "You mean when I was dumping bodies and trying to sell you out to Giles?"

Buffy frowned, a slight twinge of Slayer anger. "I was so scared for you. I hated what we'd done...but I was so fucking terrified that I would lose you! That's how I knew. And it just made me push you away, and I hate that too."

Faith looked away. "Why are you telling me this shit now?"

"Because!" Buffy kissed her, hard and quick, not letting her turn aside. "You're not the only one who wishes you could forget stuff, Faith!"

"You felt that?" Faith struggled with the idea that if she could feel Buffy's emotions, the surfaces of her thoughts, then it worked both ways.

"Yeah." Buffy kissed her again, gently. "I could have loved you sooner. We could have had this sooner. You think I didn't try to forget that, every day you were in that coma? And it worked...but I wasn't happy."

Faith brushed a strand of Buffy's hair away from her face, studying her. Without a word, without thought, she lifted up and kissed her; apologizing silently for everything she'd become after killing a man.

Buffy returned the kiss, her eyelids fluttering closed. "I'm happy now," she said, and Faith realized she was shaking in Buffy's arms. The kiss was so sweet, and she was suddenly, wonderfully aroused; the sound of Buffy's whispers and the taste of her tongue revving Faith's body back up to full throttle.

"Buffy..." she moaned, and Buffy sucked her tongue into her mouth until Faith thought she would fall apart from feeling it. "Please," she said, and half-remembered that she'd never said that before...but this wasn't about before, this was about Buffy kissing her way down Faith's body, licking and sucking and-- "Oh fuck! Oh Buffy--"

"Let me do this..." Buffy murmured. "God, Faith, I want this..." There was no warning, not this time, and Faith knew-felt-understood that Buffy had learned this from her body, and Buffy licked her way between Faith's legs, covering her aching clit with her tongue.

"Unnh--ahh, Buf-Buffy!" Faith almost sat up. Buffy flicked her clit, increasing the pressure and then taking it away. Faith's hips jerked, so far beyond her control she barely knew they were hers. She took a few quick breaths and then just held it. She lived for the pleasure of Buffy's mouth, sucking her hardened nub, over and over again, and then Buffy's fingers joined her mouth, sliding into Faith's cunt so easily, so fucking easily, because she was still so wet and oh God this time when she came it was going to hit her like her past, like her memory. So hard, and all at once, and Buffy's fingers fucked her like nothing she'd ever known, slowfast, softhard, again and again and again--

With a burst of fiery, unbelievable sensation, Faith came, and she didn't know if she was moaning or screaming Buffy's name. Her eyes squeezed shut and she forgot, forgot everything, if only for this moment. It felt like the world had stopped for them, for their love, for this. "Oh God oh God oh Buffy--"

"Feel me, Faith, feel it..." Buffy curled her fingers and Faith felt herself flying again, flying, like love, like falling, like leaving her doubts behind. "Love you..."

"Yesss...Buffy...always," Faith said, and sent the warmsafe glow of it through their connection.

Buffy sighed, and kissed Faith's stomach. She moved up the bed, collapsing on top of her. Faith opened her eyes. Satisfaction rolled through her body, deep and hot. Buffy smiled, and kissed her. "Believe me," she said.

Believe that you'll always have a place. Believe that I love you. Believe that tomorrow will be as good as today...that we can have a future despite our past.

"I do," Faith said, and once again she was wrapped in Buffy's arms as she fell asleep, and for the first time she knew she didn't need to run.

*

To be continued.