What Was I Thinking!?!
Chapter 14
Chapter 14
The only sound for the next
few miles was the sound of Buffy’s crying. It tore him apart to have her
hurting so much. Spike slipped an arm around her shoulder, gathering her closer
to his side. Her tears were soaking through his shirt and hs ats at a loss of
how to help her. He kissed the top of her head.
“I’m going to just head back
to Lindsey’s,” Spike said, kissing the top of her head. “Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Buffy said, shaking
her head. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Don’t be, pet. I’m just
sorry that you’re upset. Aren’t your parents going to be worried when you don’t
come home?”
“No, my father is going to
be ready to kill me,” Buffy said. She sighed, looked out the window and mumbled,
“And probably you, too.”
“Why don’t you call your mother?”
Spike suggested, letting his fingertips drift along her arm. “From what you’ve
said she’ll probably understand a little more. This way she won’t worry
either.”
Reaching into the pocket of
his jacket, Spike pulled out his cell phond hnd handed it to her. For a moment
Buffy stared at it like it was going to bite her or something. Finally she took
it with a trembling hand. He knew the whole situation could escalate into a
really ugly scene. Maybe if she spoke with her mother with a mature attitude
then everyone could have time to calm down.
After dialing the number,
Buffy put the phone up to her ear. Spike felt like he was eavesdropping, but
there wasn’t any way that he couldn’t hear the conversation. Her hand was
wrapped around his in a death grip while she talked.
I just can’t deal with it again.”
Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald are home now. So, I don’t think they’d appreciate it if
we had sex in their house.”
again. “This is why I don’t want to come home.”
this.”
tomorrow to pack my stuff.”
Buffy put the phone down on
her lap before covering her face with her hands.
“He kicked you out?” Spike
asked quietly, laying his hand on her lap.
“He told me that I was
nothing but trouble and he didn’t want to see me anymore,” Buffy said,
sniffling. “What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t he love me like he used to?”
“Oh, pet, it’s not your
fault.”
“It has to be. My own father
doesn’t love me.”
An intense urge to pound her
father into the ground filled Spike. How could her own father not see how
special Buffy was? Something like this could have a permanent impact on her
self-esteem. It only reinforced his decision to stand by her. The future loomed
in front of him with a seriousness it had never held before. The time for him to
be a child was over. And for her it was worth it. Of that he had no doubts.
Lindsey and Cordelia were
both waiting for them on the back porch when they pulled up to the ranch house.
The concerned look on their faces let them know that Buffy’s parents had
called.
“You ready?” Spike asked,
stepping out of the truck after receiving a nod from her. He took his jacket
off before offering his hand to Buffy to help her down. She accepted the offer
of his jacket as a cover up without question. Her ripped panties on the
floorboard were quickly shoved into his pocket before anyone could see. He shut
the door, took her hand and walked with her to their friends.
“Your mother called,”
Cordelia said, taking Buffy’s free hand. “She said your Dad kicked you out. Are
you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Buffy
said. “But can I stay here tonight? Until I get things figured out.”
“Of course you can,” Lindsey
said, pulling Buffy into a big hug. “You’re my little sis.”
“Thanks,” Buffy said,
softly.
“Our parents are waiting to
talk to you about what happened,” Cordelia said, pulling her forward. “So,
let’s get this over with.”
Spike started to follow them
but Lindsey grabbed his arm and shook his head. “They wanna talk to her without
you there first.” When Spike stared after Buffy like he was trying to make a
decision, Lindsey added, “It’ll be okay. They care about her and they know how
her Dad is with her.”
He continued to stare until
the back door closed behind the two girls. Then he looked to his friend. “Are
they going to help her or try to send her back home?”
“What are you going to do if
they try?” Lindsey asked, with a small laugh.
“Take her with me,” Spike
said, staring at his friend with a ‘dare to stop me’ look. “She’s not going
back so that man can tear her apart.”
“Ooh, boy, you have fallen,
haven’t you?” Lindsey asked, shaking his head. “Come on. Let’s go talk. I
promise she’ll be okay with them. My father doesn’t have any respect for Mr.
Summers so she’s not going to get the usual parental bullshit about going home.”
With one last look at the
house over his shoulder, Spike followed his friend up to the barn. They took
seats on a bench on the side of the building. It was calmer up there. Quiet
too, except for the occasional call of one of the animals. A man could clear
his head in that kind of atmosphere. After lighting a cigarette, Spike leaned
back against the barn, inhaling deeply.
“I love her, Lindsey,” Spike
said, staring up at the stars that were brilliant in the country sky. “I know
it’s been a really short time, but when I’m with her I feel like I’m home.
Everything in me calls for her to always be there.”
“Are you going to give up
all your plans for her?” Lindsey said, looking over at his friend. “She’s
pretty set on going to
“If I have to, I will. My
plans have been pretty loose so far,” Spike said with a chuckle. “Keep my grades
up so I can stay in school and have fun.”
“What about Dru?”
“She’s my past,” Spike
answered, handing his cigarette to his friend. Lindsey took it, flicking the
ash off before taking a drag. “I thought I was in love with her, but it in no
way compares to Buffy.”
“Dru’s not going to just
accept someone else in your life,” Lindsey said, staring at the ground between
his boots. “It’s why you came up here with me. She was going all stalker on
you.”
“Shit, I know,” Spike said,
mimicking his friend’s pose. He leaned forward with his elbows resting on his
legs. “How did my life get so complicated?”
They both laughed for a
moment. This wasn’t the way he thought his life was going to go. A few months
ago, Drusilla had been the center of his life. She was a sophisticated beauty that
was showing him all that life in the fast lane could be. An endless stream of
parties, beautiful people, and always the open door to clubs he never would
have been able to get into without her. It was the relationship he had a
problem with. She wanted him on her arm, but her bed was a rotating door with
anyone who struck her fancy. When he complained, she laughed, and told him to
get with it. She didn’t mind who he slept with so why should he care about what
or rather who she did?
“If it’s too much for you,”
Lindsey said, apparently misunderstanding Spike’s silence. “If dealing with
Buffy is too much then get in your car and get the fuck out of here. She
doesn’t need someone else to let her down.”
“That I agree with, mate,”
Spike said, squeezing his friend’s shoulder. “I’m here for the long haul.”
Mrs. MacDonald was pouring
coffee into mugs when Buffy walked into the kitchen with Cordelia. Keeping her
eyes on the floor she slipped into a chair at the table. Across from her sat
Mr. MacDonald and Cordy took a seat beside her.
“Hello, Buffy,” Mrs.
MacDonald said, putting a mug in front of her husband. She sat in the chair
next to him. “How are you dealing with all this?”
“I can’t go back,” Buffy
said, glancing up at them. Her fingers folded and unfolded the hem of her
dress. “He just keeps making me feel like I’m nothing.”
“Your mother wants you
home,” Mr. MacDonald said, before taking a sip of his coffee. “She’s worried
about your relationship with Spike. That you’re getting too serious too fast.”
“I love him,” Buffy
declared. “And he loves me. It may be fast but it’s real.”
“I hate to say it,” Mrs.
MacDonald said, reaching out to cover Buffy’s hand with her own. “But I agree
with Joyce.
The MacDonald’s had always
been like a second set of parents to her. She had hoped that they would help
her. She should have known that they would pull the united parent deal with
her. Buffy wrapped Spike’s jacket tighter around her. Tears hovered on her
eyelashes but she blinked them back.
In order to survive she had
to leave her parent’s behind. If that meant living in a motel for the next two
months then she’d find a way to do it. There were enough diners out on the
highway where she could waitress at night. A million plans started formulating
in her mind.
“Buffy, listen to me,” Mrs.
MacDonald said pulling Buffy from her reverie. “I think you need someone to
love you. To be that prince you’ve always dreamed about. Then this boy comes
along and you believe it’s him. But you’ve only known him a few days.”
“I love him,” Buffy
protested. “I want to spend my life with him.”
She surprised herself with
that because she knew she wanted to be with him. But up until now she hadn’t
thought of it that way. It was true though. Something inside of her told her
that Spike was the one.
“I know that you believe
that,” Mrs. MacDonald softly said. “And I’m not disputing how you feel but I
think if you hadn’t met him then you wouldn’t have left home.”
“He showed me that I’m worth
something. That I’m not the loser my father says I am. I don’t feel like I’m
all alone anymore.”
“You weren’t before,” Mr.
MacDonald interrupted. “This family is your family.”
“Thank you,” Buffy said,
feeling foolish for her earlier traitorous thoughts against this couple. “I
know that you are, but I don’t want to make problems for you.”
“You’re not,” Mr. McDonald
said, fiddling with his coffee cup. “I already told your parents that you were
staying here until you graduate in June. But it means you follow our rules. You
help out around the house and the ranch. After school lets out then we’ll
reassess the situation.”
“Are you serious?”
Buffy was flabbergasted by
their offer. It was more than she had hoped for. Things couldn’t be any better
than this. They would expect her to pull her weight around the place to earn
her keep, but they were generous people who wouldn’t take advantage of the
situation. It was a lot better than staying in a flea bitten hotel and waiting
tables.
“Of course, we’re serious,”
Mrs. MacDonald said, with a laugh. “There is just one hitch.”
“What?”
There was always a hitch.
Her stomach started knotting up with what they might ask her to do. She knew it
had to do with Spike.
“Spike goes home tomorrow,”
Mr. MacDonald said, looking her directly in the eye. “And the two of you will only
have phone contact until school is out. If it’s real between you then it will
survive the distance. We’re not doing this to be mean, but I want you to have
time to think things through. For you to be sure it’s real.”
“What about emails and talking
on the computer?” Spike asked, startling them as he stepped into the kitchen.
“Are you seriously
considering this?” Buffy asked, jumping up to face Spike. “You’ve all gone
nuts.”
“That would be fine,” Mr.
MacDonald answered Spike as if Buffy hadn’t spoken at all. They were ignoring
her. “Of course there would be a time limit on the amount of time you were on
the phone and stuff.”
“You’ll take care of her?”
Spike said, continuing to negotiate for her. “Make sure she doesn’t have to
deal with her father?”
“Of course we will take care
of her,” Mrs. MacDonald said, sounding offended. “We’ve never liked the way her
father has treated her.” She sighed. “Maybe we should have offered before,
but…”
“Excuse me,” Buffy said.
“I’m standing here. Don’t I get a say in this?”
They still ignored her. She
huffed as she crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. It was infuriating
her that they were planning her life without her say so. She knew what she
wanted for her life and she didn’t need anyone else making decisions for her.
Even if a small part of her was thrilled watching Spike take care of her.
“And I want a promise that
if he’s not leaving her alone then you’ll let me come and get her out of here,”
Spike said, stepping closer to the table.
Spike and Mr. MacDonald
stared at each other in a silent battle of wills. In the end Mr. MacDonald
nodded his agreement. Spike put his hand out and they shook on it.
“And one last thing,” Spike
said, holding onto Mr. MacDonald’s hand. “I want to spend some time with her
tonight before I leave,” Spike said. “In your living room, just to talk, so we
can get things worked out.”
“All right,” Mrs. MacDonald
said, giving Spike’s hand one last shake. “That should be fine.”
“What if I say no to all
these plans you just made?” Buffy asked. “It is my life, you know.”
“Oh, Buffy, shut up,”
Cordelia said, rolling her eyes. She smiled with affection at her friend. “It’s
a perfect set up and you know it.”
“Well…,” Buffy said,
hesitating. But she couldn’t stay mad at them. It was the best deal she was
going to get. She laughed as she reached out to hug the MacDonald’s. “Thank you
both. I appreciate this so much.”
Life suddenly seemed a lot
brighter.
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