Chasing the Girl

Disclaimer - part one


Part 14

Faith pressed her forehead against the shower wall.

'I'm not weak,' She repeated in her head. 'I'm not weak.' For the first time since she came to New Orleans, she really wanted to cry. She had spent all last night thinking about her encounter with Buffy, at the club and in her room. 'I almost screwed it all up. I was so close to letting her, Jesus,' She thought. 'I could have made it worse.' She ran her hair under the showerhead letting the soap and shampoo run down her back.

"I'm not weak." She said out loud, one more time, before getting out of the shower.

Willow and Buffy were sitting across from each other at the breakfast table in the kitchen.

Neither had spoken since Faith had exited. When Willow had turned to go into the kitchen, Buffy had just followed her.

Buffy looked down at her hands. "Did you want me to come back?"

"I don't know. Faith thought it was best, to bring you back here, I couldn't argue with her."

Buffy nodded. "You called her?"

"Yeah, a few days ago. I debated it for a while. I wasn't too sure I wanted to drag her into this. There was no point in hurting anyone else. And I didn't want to sacrifice Faith's feelings on a shot that you might reach to her."

Buffy was about to speak.

"No, let me finish. I decided to call her because I couldn't give up on you. God knows I wanted to. I really wish I could just forget you, Buffy, but with the constant reminder walking around in the form of a two year old, well that's not easy. And no matter what you've done, Rose is still you're daughter. We would have had to deal with that at some point. I'd rather it be sooner than later."

"So you wanted me to come back so you could tell me you were taking my child?" Buffy asked, getting bolder. "Haven't you already done that? Taken her? She wouldn't even look at me."

"I'm surprised you care." Willow said.

"I'm not a fucking monster, Willow. If you want to believe that, than it's fine, but I'm not."

"Nobody said you were a monster, Buff. But you are messed up. You have messed up. Not just your life, but ours as well. Mine, Ken's, Xander's, especially Rose's, and now we run the risk of Faith's as well. Do you think it's worth it?"

"Do you? You're the one who called her. You're letting me back. Am I worth it?" Buffy asked, "I'm so sorry I've screwed up your lives. Forgive me. Guess we're even now."

"How's that?"

"I saved them enough, didn't I?"

"Get off of it, Buffy. Yeah, you saved our lives. We know it. We've paid for that, god, have we paid for it." Willow answered exasperated. "After all of this time, it's still all about you, isn't it? I can't figure out when our worlds became yours. It seems everything was, and fucking is, still about you. Like you're some goddess on an throne and we are there to please you."

"Shut up, Will." Buffy said rising. "You have no idea how hard it was. I was responsible for everyone around me. One misstep and that was it. You would've all died. No one seem to notice or care half the time. Don't you know that I knew it would have been easier if I'd have never met you guys. If I'd lived the solitary life I was supposed to. But I was selfish, I wanted to feel loved. I'm sorry for that. If I'd known how much I was screwing up your lives, I sure the hell would have dropped you."

Willow rose too.

"You did drop us, Buffy. Remember. You ran, you, not us. We tried to help and you ran away. From me, from Rose. I'm sick of this sanctimonious bullshit attitude you have." Willow came closer, her voice rising. "It is not all about you! Wake up and Grow up! You have a child. You are not Chosen anymore! And no one gave you a reason to screw up your life but yourself, so fucking deal with it!"

"I knew this was a mistake. You'll always judge me. Miss Holier-Than-Thou, Willow. No one better! 'Willow would never do this, Willow would never do that. Willow's raising her druggie friend's baby! They should saint her!' " Buffy shouted.

The tension in the room was getting thicker and neither girl was backing down.

Kennedy heard the shouting and ran into the room, Rose close behind.

"What the hell is going on here?" She shouted, grabbing Buffy's arms.

"Let me go, you bitch." Buffy spat in her face.

"No, not until you calm down."

"Oh, let her go, Ken. She can run back to her rock and crawl under it. We can't help her. We're not good enough." Willow looked at Rose who was standing in the doorway crying.

"Oh, Rosie, it's okay, shush. Don't cry."

Faith had heard the screaming and Rose crying in the other room, she ran in, seeing Kennedy holding Buffy's arms, and Willow trying to calm Rose down.

Faith took the child and rubbed her back, telling her it was okay. Kennedy dropped Buffy's arms and all three girls stared at Faith. She sat down at the table, Rose in her lap.

"Does everyone feel better now?" She asked, laying her forehead against Rose's. No one answered. "Somebody better answer me." She said. "Do you all feel better? Justified or whatever. I'm sure she does." She said, pointing to Rose.

They still didn't say anything, so she stood up.

"Buffy come on. We're going out to eat. Willow, you and Ken eat the food she brought and take a breather. Everyone needs to calm down."

Willow made a move to take Rose.

"No, she's going with us."

"I don't think so, Faith." Kennedy said.

"I do." She said. "You two need to calm down, and there is no way in hell I'm leaving her here with you."

"What about her?" Kennedy said, pointing to Buffy.

Buffy was about to say something, but Faith stopped her.

"Hush." She said, looking at Buffy. She turned to face Kennedy.

"She needs to calm down as well. But me, see I'm calm and Rosie wants to go with me, don't ya?" Rose nodded. "Besides..." She said looking between the girls. "...maybe it'll be good for the two of them. I'm also not giving you a choice in the matter."

Buffy left the room to change.

"Listen, Red. You two, get over it. There's a time and place for that, but it's not now. You're gonna be blaming yourself when she runs. I hate to say it, but we're just gonna have to take her sh..." She looked at Rose. "...stuff for a while. I know you wanna punch her. It's about all I have wanted to do since I found her, but," She hesitated. "be the better person. Don't let her trap you. You're just feeding her that way."

Faith grabbed her bag and Rose's as well. "We'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't worry about the kiddo. Buffy knows where I stand on that subject, and anyway, I don't think she'll do anything. I really think she wants to fix this. We have to give her a chance." Faith finished and walked out of the room.

"When the hell did Faith start making all the sense?" Willow asked Kennedy, sitting back down.

"Yeah, well, Faith hasn't had six years of this shit, Wills." Kennedy answered.

"Somehow, Ken," Willow said, watching as the girls departed. "I don't think that would've mattered."

To be continued