Primitive

"I know why they chose you."

I open one eye from the amazingly comfortable bed I've settled into at the Hyperion, intending to sleep for about a week now that the First is squashed. Buffy's standing in the doorway, looking cleaner that she's been in a week, and more relaxed than I've ever seen her. "What?"

"The Shadowmen. I know why they chose you to be the Guardian." She crosses her arms, nudging the door shut with her foot.

"Yeah? Why's that?" I prop myself up a little on the pillow, not quite sitting up.

Her eyes scan over me slowly, as though she's trying to figure something out. "You'd die for me," she says softly, moving her gaze to my eyes. Daring me to lie.

I shrug instead. "So?"

"So, nothing," she says, her voice a little louder. She's starting to look pissed.

I let out a groan. "B, if you want to fight.. that's fine. But can we do it after I get some sleep? I'm so exhausted I might actually cry right now. So can we just talk about it later?"

"No," she says simply, grabbing an armchair and dragging it over. She sits in it, facing me, and leans forward. "I want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why, suddenly, after years of trying to kill me, you would give your life for me."

That tears it. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, staring her down. "I have never tried to kill you! Never!"

"Bullshit," she spits.

"It's not," I snap defensively. "I never did. I did a lot of shitty things to you, but I never, ever tried to kill you. I shot Angel, yeah. I slept with Riley, and I held a knife to Red's throat. But I never tried to kill you."

"You took my body and handed me over to the cops," she cries shrilly. "And by extension, the council. Who would have killed me if I hadn't gotten away!"

I lower my voice, because she's not wrong. "I didn't know it would go down that way. I really didn't. I never would have.." I shake my head, looking away. "I wouldn't have let them cart you away if I knew they were going to kill you."

Buffy sits quietly for a minute, looking at me. "I wouldn't have either. I hope you know that. I wanted to help you. Not kill you."

I nod, looking down at my lap. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." She shifts a little, and looks like she's debating with herself. "I remember everything that happened. I-I thought you should know that."

I swallow hard, my gulp almost audible. "Everything, huh?"

"Yeah," she says softly. "You.. did a lot for me. I'm grateful."

I shrug a little, blushing. "It's.. nothing. It was my job, you know?"

"It wasn't a job and we both know it. Don't play stupid, Faith."

"Why not? I'm good at it." I offer her a grin.

"God," she cries, tossing her hands in the air as she stands up and moves towards the door. "Why did I think you could have a real conversation? Can't you be serious and honest at the same time, even for just a few minutes?"

"I'm sorry," I say quickly, also standing. "I mean it. I'm just really tired and punchy. Come back. Please?"

She sighs heavily and comes back over, sitting on the bed. I sit again as well and turn a little so we're facing each other.

"Look.. no matter what's happened in the past between us, at the end of the day.. I care about you. All that shit I pulled.. it wasn't because I hated you or something. I was so.. I don't know. Scared, and angry. Not at you, just.. at the world in general. You just ended up getting the brunt of it.

"They chose me to be the Guardian because they knew.. I don't know how, but they did.. that I'd die before I let someone hurt you. And--and about what happened, it's really not a big deal."

"It is a big deal. You could've.. taken advantage of me."

I let out a sigh and stare down at my lap, picking at my cuticles nervously. "The thought crossed my mind, I won't lie. But I couldn't. It wouldn't have been you, anyway. You weren't all there. You couldn't have possibly understood what it meant to me, yunno?"

"Hey, Faith?"

"I hope.. all this doesn't make things weird between us. Any weirder than they were before, anyway."

"Faith."

"I'm not gonna be hitting on you or something, just cause I feel the way I do about you. I mean, a person can't help if they love someone, even if they don't want to. Or if the person doesn't want them to."

"Faith!"

"What?" I look up at her, biting my bottom lip nervously.

"I love you, too." She stares back at me expectantly. I open and close my mouth a few times, not really knowing what to do with that information.

"Kiss me, you idiot." I stare at her dumbly, and she leans closer, whispering. "Now would be nice."

I lick my lips quickly and lean in as well, kissing her softly. She sighs and wraps her arm loosely around my neck, and I rest my hands on her sides. We kiss slowly, not deepening it, and it's even better than it was every time I pictured it in my head.

She breaks it gently, resting her forehead against mine. "Okay?" she whispers. I nod quickly, and so does she. "Okay. Good." She pauses. "Can we promise to try not to hurt each other so much this time around?"

"I promise."

"Me, too." And with that she moves, swinging one leg over both of mine and sitting on my lap.

I tilt my head up, kissing her again, deeper this time, and slide my tongue into her mouth. She moans softly, pushing me back on the bed, and stretches her body out along mine.

After a minute, she breaks the kiss again, smiling at me.

I smile back, my lips already kiss-swollen. "What are you grinning about?"

She shrugs. "You."

I laugh lightly, rubbing her side lazily. "You feel even better than I imagined."

"You, too," she whispers, cupping her hand over my breast.

I shiver beneath her, sliding my hands over her body. "That feels better, too.. It's official.. I like real Buffy a lot more than cave Buffy.."

Buffy smirks and leans over, nipping my earlobe playfully before whispering. "Fuck?"

I laugh again and grab her hips, flipping her over. "Definitely."

And we did.