So Damn Domestic

Two Weeks Later. FPOV


It’s been two weeks. She’s been gone for three. This sucks. I know she’s comin back in one week and it’s almost Christmas but it still fucking sucks. It’s really hard to get into the Christmas cheer and all when your girl is almost three thousand miles away. We’ve decorated the house like we usually do. We have our knick-knacks all over the place and the tree is up and has the lights and the ornaments dangling from it. Mattie and I made a really big calendar type thing so we can X out the days until Buffy gets home. He’s really excited about it and can’t wait for her to get here. He’s not alone I want her back so bad. I can almost taste her now. Ok, I don’t want her back just because my hormones are still all weird and I’m craving her body right now. I want her back because I love her and I miss just being around her. I also miss the way she wiggles the tip of her tongue when she goes down on me, but hey, I’m only human.


Addy has gotten bigger since Buffy’s been gone. She’s right on schedule according to the doctor. She’s gained four pounds and grown about an inch. She’s still really tiny. She isn’t like Mattie was. Mattie was plump and hand a lot of rolls. Addy is pretty skinny, just like her ‘father’. I can’t wait for Buffy to get home. I know she isn’t staying for a week but I really wish she would. I don’t want to have to watch Addy get her first shots all by myself. I’ll have to take Kennedy with me because she’s the only one strong enough to hold me back from ripping off the doctor’s arm. I know it needs to be done but I still don’t like watching it. Buffy made me leave the room when Mattie got his first shots. She was calm about it until we got out into the parking lot and then she broke down. She’s weird like that. She’ll be fine during something like that but then breaks down afterwards. Me, I’m a blubbering idiot all the way through. I couldn’t help it. My little boy was getting poked and prodded and then stabbed with a needle. I hear Cordelia scream and I roll my eyes. What is wrong with that woman? I get up from the computer desk and walk towards the sound of the scream. I stand in the bathroom doorway and have to bite my lips to stop myself from laughing. I probably should have warned her about this.


“Oh my God. Why? Why would you do something like this? Do you know how expensive this is? That lipstick cost thirty dollars!” Well if she’s stupid enough to pay thirty bucks for a tube of lipstick then she deserves to have it used as a crayon on the bathroom mirror. He hasn’t done something like this in a long time, mostly because me and B bought a little lock for the drawer of the vanity, but oh well. “Faith, you are going to pay me back for every cent that he ruined. He got into my face cream too. Oh my God!” I smile a little bit and Mattie looks over at me. He’s a little upset because she’s freaking out. I need to play the stern parent now because he needs to learn how to respect other people’s stuff.


“Mattie, what do you say to Cordelia?” He looks at me like I’m on crack. He’s never done anything like this before with anyone else so he’s never had to say ‘sorry’. Cordelia starts ranting again and he gets up and leaves. I’ll have him clean it up but after she leaves because she’s starting to cuss a lot. I gently put my hand on her shoulder but she doesn’t stop talking. “Cordelia.” She keeps ranting, on and on and on and I don’t think she even knows what she’s saying anymore. Then she says something that completely throws me off guard. I mean this is the kind of shit that you hear and then ask yourself: ‘why did I have a camcorder?’ You’re probably dying to find out what she’s sayin huh? Well calm the fuck down. I’ll tune you in.


“I can’t believe I actually fell for what she said. You’d think after the last time I’d learn my lesson but no. I’m just too stupid to know when someone isn’t going to be with me. Like she’s ever going leave that…that…nerdy geek to be with me.” Wow. See what I mean? She seems to remember that I’m in the room because she turns around and looks at me. I must have a very shocked type look on my face because now she’s staring at me like a deer in headlights. Her mouth opens and then closes a couple of times, kinda like a fish, and then she is finally able to speak. “Um….I’ll….I’ll clean this up later. I need to go.” And she dashes out of the room before I can compose myself enough to say something. Wow. I never expected that. Ok, well, I thought that something had happened but I never thought that Cordelia was still waiting. Damn. Ok, I’m going through a bit of denial here because I’m really hoping she wasn’t talking about who I think she was talking about. I let that mental picture shift around in my head for a few minutes……damn, that’s hot. No, it shouldn’t be hot because it’s wrong. It’s wrong. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Maybe if I say it enough then it’ll stop being hot.


Ok, gotta stop thinking about that, the baby’s crying. I got into the kitchen and heat up a bottle. The colostrum stuff is all gone so I’m not breast-feeding anymore. It’s a little freeing, I gotta admit, because now I have Kennedy doing some of the nightly feedings so I can get some extra sleep. She wouldn’t eat the stuff for a day or two but she got used to it and now everything’s fine. I walk into the bedroom and set the bottle down on the nightstand. She’ll be sleeping in our bedroom until she’s about five months old and then she gets to go in that lovely nursery that I had Xander build for me. I wasn’t allowed to help, apparently when you’re pregnant you become a china doll and nobody lets you do anything. Oh, but it was will a glorious day when she’s finally sleeping in her own room. I make it sound like I don’t want her in my room, I do, I love my little baby, but I just really want her to start sleeping through the night. Mattie didn’t start doing that until he was about five months, maybe she’ll start a little sooner.


“Ok baby girl, I’m here. Shh, shh Mama’s here,” I whisper to her and gently pick her up. She’s still crying her head off but she calms down a little when I pick her up. I pick up the bottle and offer it to her. She clamps down onto it and I smile. Aw, it feels so good seeing it happen to something else other then me. That kid has jaw like a Pit Bull, I never got used to it. I walk over to Buffy’s side of the bed and gently pull the bottle away from Addy and set it down. She starts to whine but this’ll only take a second. I pick up the cordless phone and press the speed dial and it starts to rings. I position it so that it’s stuck between my head and shoulder. I pick the bottle back up and feed it to Addy. She grunts and snorts and give me this look like ‘try that again bitch, I dare you’. She already has a little attitude and she’s only a month old. I sigh as I listen to the phone ring and ring but no one answers. And then finally she picks up. “Hey Kennedy. What’s up?” She sounds a little confused. I never call Kennedy unless I need something from her. We may be best friends but we don’t talk on the phone a lot. “Yeah, I know I never call but I was just wondering what’s going on between you and Cordelia.” She starts to freak out a little. She doesn’t yell or anything but I can hear the panic in her voice. “No, she didn’t say anything but ever since she showed up you two have been a little...tense around each other. Just wonderin what was up.”


“Nothin is up Faith, we just don’t like each other. She’s a bitch and needs to learn some respect. It’s never gonna happen so why bother? Look, I gotta go, Willow’s supposed to be calling soon. So I’ll talk to you tomorrow when I pick Matt up ok?” I agree with a grumble and she hangs up. I lean over the bed and let the fall onto the mattress. Well, that wasn’t very informative. And I know I’m not going to get anything out of the Queen. I will find out what’s going on though. One way or another I’ll get to the bottom of this, even if I have to get one of ‘em drunk.


I’m feeling a little giddy. I can’t help it. It’s been a month since Addy was born, she’s on the formula now, my body is finally back to normal thanks to good ol’ slayer healing. Sure I’ll be a little rusty but I can’t wait to go patrolling. Cordelia agreed to watch the kids for me while I go out. Normally there’s not a lot of action but there’s a rock concert at the convention center and that usually draws in a big vamp crowd wantin a bite of the little teen girls. I don’t blame them, the way the teen girls dress nowadays, sometimes I find myself wanting to take a big bite outta one too. But that’s wrong and creepy because I’m almost thirty and they’re teenagers. Yep, it’s wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong. Maybe if I say it enough I’ll actually believe what I’m saying. What? I’m only human. Stop looking at me like that. You want me to punch a hole in your face? That’s right, didn’t think so.


BPOV


These three weeks have been hell. Some of the girls are starting to get back in line. They’re good girls but they just gave into the temptation of following Lily. They’re getting their work done, they’re training like they should be, and they’re back on track. But the rest...I know I wasn’t that defiant when I was a teenager, no matter what Giles says. And Lily is just getting worst. I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought it would be kind of easy. I thought I’d come in and show her what a real slayer is and then maybe she’d want to be more like one. But she’s been fighting me every step of the way. She’s strong, and is a really good fighter, but I kick her ass every time we spar. She has great potential and I hate to think that she’s just going to waste it. But I can forget all about that right now. Tonight I’m going out to have a little fun. Some of the interns and I are going to check out this new club called the Mud House, I know it sounds stupid, but it’s supposed to be really good. And I already talked to Faith about it and she says that as long as the dancing stays friendly and hands stay in appropriate places then she won’t worry too much. And she trusts me, which is great because I trust her.


“Come on Buffy, let’s hit the road. We wanna get there before it’s too packed!” Vanessa yells out from the other side of the front door. There are five of us going: Sissy, Vanessa, Rachel, Holly, and me. I’m the oldest of the group but it seems that slayers stop aging in their mid-twenties and everyone that doesn’t know me thinks I’m still twenty-four, so it’s not like people are going to think I’m too old to be hanging out with them. Dawn hates it because she says that when she’s my age I’m going to look better then her and I’ll be six years older then her. But I think it’s great. Well of course I think it’s great. I put the finishing touches on my make-up and run my fingers through my hair a couple of times. There, perfect. I turn out the bathroom light and then the living room light and walk out the door. There aren’t any keys on the doors. You have to punch in a number code next to the doorknob to unlock it. “Finally, we thought you were on the phone with your girl again.” I roll my eyes and they laugh. It was last week when I didn’t close the front door all the way so the latch didn’t lock, Vanessa was outside the front door calling out my name because she needed to talk to me about Lily but I was going to ignore her. She walked into the apartment because she’s really headstrong and she caught me having phone sex with Faith. Talk about embarrassing.


“So, who’s driving?” We walk out the front door and wave to some of the seniors as they leave to go patrolling. There was a little bit of a crisis yesterday but these slayers are proving to be very good at what they do. I didn’t even need to get involved and trust me when I say I tried. There are a special group of seniors, ones that are way advanced, and they handle the crisis situations because they can afford to skip a few classes without falling behind on their work. Well, that and because they’re really good at the research and fighting stuff. Remember those nasty blue demon thingies that tried to open up the hellmouth when I was a senior in high school? I can’t remember what they’re called...um...the Sisterhood of something. Anyway, that isn’t important. These girls were all over the case in minutes when one of them was spotted on a patrol. They quickly found out what it was and stopped an apocalypse before it even had time to start. They’re great, and I know that one day the freshmen girls could be like that. But they need to get focused. Ok, it’s time to stop thinking about it.


“Rachel’s the designated tonight. Now, ladies, I’m finally old enough to use the trust fund mommy dearest set up for me a couple years ago so drinks are on me tonight, and do not worry about the cost because I got it covered. Just charge it to the shiny new tab I got set up last weekend. Tonight is gonna fuckin rock!” Holly says as we hop into the car. Rachel’s driving, Vanessa’s in the front passenger, Holly’s in the seat behind the driver’s, Sissy is in the middle and I’m behind the front passenger. There isn’t a whole lot of room in this car so me and Sissy are practically squished together. I know that she used to have a little bit of a crush on me, but that was more like hero worship. I don’t think she’s into the whole girl-girl thing. Holly is though, and she’s known to have the occasional one nightstand. The teachers are thinking about forbidding that kind of activity because it sets a bad example for the younger girls but like they’re going to be able to stop a horny slayer even if they tried. The twenty-minute drive to the club is full of laughter and talking and Vanessa turned on the radio at one point. There is definitely a vibe of excitement in the air and I’m falling into it, letting it embrace me, and lead me as I walk through the doors of the Mud House and into the loud interior.


Once you walk in through the doors you have to go across a catwalk that’s suspended ten feet in the air above the dance floor to get to the bar. Once you go past the bar you make a right and go down the stairs to get to the dance floor. Or you can keep going straight and enter the back area. There’s music in there too that’s just as loud as the music downstairs, but it’s softer lit and definitely for the couples looking to in a little grope-age action before they head home for a good fucking. You can turn left at the bar and there are some tables back there where you can sit and calm down and watch the people on the dance floor. Once you walk down the stairs you can walk straight and go to the dance floor, against the back wall is the stage, and off to the left is the DJ station, or you can turn around, facing the wall opposite the stage and there are some tables back there. It’s a nice set up, I have to admit, and this music and really great and if I’m not down those stairs and dancing with someone in the next minute or so I just might scream.


I grab onto someone’s hand, I’m not even looking at this point and I drag her down the stairs. I know it’s one of the girls because I was in the middle, we walked in together shoulder to shoulder, like teenager girls walk when they’re at the mall. I quickly make my way out into the middle of the dance floor and turn around to face the girl. It’s Vanessa. She’s kinda cute, I’ll admit. Shoulder length blonde hair that’s kind curly, bright blue eyes, and fair skin. She about four inches taller then I am, but I’m not intimidated. I don’t know the name of the band that’s playing, but its hard and fast and not the normal type of dance music. Normally it’s hip hop or something like that, something with a great beat, this sounds more like a rock song, or metal, I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask Faith when I get back and call her, she’ll probably know the name, she listens to almost every metal and rock band on the planet. I’m bagging my head along with the loud yelling of the vocals and shaking my body in time with the beat. God this feels so good. I haven’t been out dancing like this in a long time. I think the last time I went out was New Year’s Eve and that was like eleven month’s ago. She finally seems to get comfortable with me dancing with her like this. She relaxes and gives her body over to the beat. Her hands grab mine and lift them above our heads as we continue to almost violently dance along with the angry sounding music.


The music dies down as the song ends and the next one starts playing. Now that I got that little bit of dancing out of my system I think I need to sit down, maybe have one drink. But no more then one. I can control myself. I grab onto her hand and lead her off the dance floor. I find where the others have put our jackets and purses on a table and Rachel is sitting there by herself nursing a bottle of water. I feel kind of bad for her, she out with her friends and she can’t even enjoy a drink. So I take the car keys from her and tell her that I’ll drive us back to the facility since I don’t plan on drinking. She looks so grateful and she gives me a big hug as she bounds up the stairs to order a drink. I see Holly and Sissy walk out of the bathroom, laughing at something that was said. They walk up to the table and sit down on either side of me.


“So Buffy, Sissy has told me all about you.” Oh really? I’d like to know exactly what Sissy has said. “And one thing she mentioned is you’re a bitchin dancer.” Is that supposed to be a complement? Does bitchin still mean cool? “So, you wanna dance with me?” She’s giving me this look, one that Faith has given me a million times in the past. It’s a wild look and it’s making me feel like I’m a defenseless gazelle being stalked by a hungry lioness. I gulp a little. Why am I so nervous? Oh right, because Faith isn’t here to claim me. Dammit. Oh well, I’ll just have to make sure she knows perfectly well that I’m taken. I’m wearing the ring for God sakes. “Come on, just one casual dance between friends, that’s all.” Well, ok if that’s all. But the look in her eyes tells me that it might start out casual and turn into very sexual. I take in a deep breath, I can handle this. I would never even consider cheating on Faith. Especially not with a skinny brunette with blonde and auburn streaks in her hair and the brightest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. What? I just said they were bright, I was in no way admiring them.


I stand up and she follows. We walk out onto the dance floor with her walking behind me. I can’t help but feel her eyes on my ass as we make our way through the crowd. The song is slower then the one I danced to with Vanessa. It has a very sexual tone about it. I’ll have to ask the DJ what this is because I really want to buy this CD and take it home to Faith, she’ll love it. Anyway, we start to dance together, forming a small crowd around us, just like in high school with Faith. Her eyes are locked on me the entire time, roaming over my body and just seeing me move makes her give out a small moan. Normally a person wouldn’t be able to hear it because of the music but I’m a slayer and I heard it. She takes a step closer, entering my personal bubble. What? Everyone has a personal bubble.


“I’ve always wanted to meet you.” She talks over the music. She doesn’t need to talk very loud because of my slayer hearing. She knows I can hear her just fine. “But I never got the chance the last time you were here. You should consider relocating to Ohio permanently. I’m sure you can find a reason to stay.” Ok, I don’t like where this is going. She raises her hands above her head and brings them down slowly, rubbing her body and looking at me with that predator look. She knows she’s hot, and she knows my body is reacting to her. What she doesn’t know is that I’ll never give in because I’m with Faith. But still there’s that little voice in the back in my mind, the little shoulder devil, you all know about the shoulder devil right? The voice that wants to lead you down the path that rocks? Well, she starts talking to me. ‘You know you want her Buffy. Look at her rocking her hips, and running her fingers through that long gorgeous hair of hers, long enough to tie her wrists to a headboard. Go on Buffy, take her, she’s practically begging you to.’ And then the other one kicks in, my little shoulder angel, the one that wants to lead me down the path of righteousness. ‘Don’t do it Buffy. You may want sex and very badly, hell all three of us do, but you’re with Faith. She proposed and you told her yes. You even have your mother’s blessing. So don’t screw that up. Sure you can get lucky with this hoe but in the long run you’ll lose big time. You’ll lose Faith and your kids. Don’t do it. Just go back to the table before she ups her game.’ I ignore both of them and continue to dance.


She starts gyrating her hips, and with every forward motion they rub against mine. She moans again and suddenly her hands are on my hips, pulling me closer to her. Before I know what’s happening she’s sucking on my pulse point, her tongue piercing softly scraping against my hot skin. I don’t react for a few seconds, I’m too stunned to do anything. I mean, I got the feeling she wanted me but I didn’t think she’d act on it. I bring my hands up and put them on the back of her head. God this feels so good. Where did she learn to use her tongue like that? She’s doing this weird little swirly motion and God it feels like heaven. My head is rolled back and my eyes are closed and I can feel our hips rotating together in time with the song. I grip her hair, pulling it a little and she starts sucking and licking harder, scraping that wonderful piercing against my needy flesh. The moan I feel creep out of my throat seems to snap me back to reality. I push her back and rush off of the dance floor and go back to the table. She walks up a few seconds after me, looking a little sheepish. Sissy, who’s sitting to my left, starts laughing so hard she almost falls out of her chair. She has tears in her eyes as she tries to calm herself down. Ok, I’d really like to know what was so funny.


“I told...you...you’d...crash...and burn!” Sissy yells out between her laughter. What? That was planned? And Sissy knew about it? Ok, why do I feel like a piece of meat all of a sudden? Oh well, so a twenty-something year old wants to sleep with me, not too big of a deal. And I did stop her, I mean, I could have done something a little sooner, true, but I was still in shock! Vanessa walks up with a tray sporting about twenty shot glasses full of tequila. I grab onto one of them and down it. I slam the glass on the table and cough a little. I never really did like tequila. I lick my hand and pour some salt on it. I down another shot and then lick the salt off. I repeat this process, taking two or three minutes in between to catch my breath, until the room gets blurry. But I need to get wasted. I need to forget what I did. I encouraged her for fuck’s sake! Faith would never do anything like this. She’s too loyal, she respects me too much to encourage some bimbo to practically dry hump her on a dance floor. And there was nothing dry about it, she has me all worked up that I’m probably going to have to throw these panties out. And my neck is very wet with her spit. I see Rachel take the keys out of my purse. What does she think she’s doing? I told her I’d drive tonight. I’m not even drunk, I just had...ten shots. That’s not a lot, at least I don’t think it is. Why is everything getting dark? Wow, vertigo, wee!


FPOV


So, Buffy is going out tonight with some friends. Prissy-Sissy is one of them. Ha! Prissy-Sissy, I crack myself up! Anyway, Buffy is going out to this club called the Mud House and I’m going out on patrol. I can’t wait, it’s been way too long since I’ve gotten into a good fight. I’m just itching for some action. I’m dressed in jeans, I need to work out a little bit to loose the weight that I gained from the pregnancy before I’ll be able to fit into my leathers. But I gotta admit that my ass looks wicked hot like this. Maybe I’ll just buy some bigger leathers. Back to the point, I’m in dark blue jeans that hug my hips just right, a dark red t-shirt that shows off my breasts very well, and my boots. Gotta have the boots, not ensemble is complete without them. I grab my jean jacket and throw it on. I grab my stake and stuff it in the inside pocket of the jacket. I go into the bathroom and put on a little more eyeliner and touch up my lipstick. Anyone who doesn’t know me would probably guess that I’m headed to a club looking for some action. I’ll be going to Sharp afterwards but just to dance off some of the extra energy before I come home.


“Ok, Addy is asleep and you know how to make a bottle for when she wakes up.” Cordelia is standing in the doorway watching me. I have a song stuck in my head and I’m slightly rocking my hips from side to side to the beat stuck inside my mind. I can feel her eyes on my ass. “Mattie’s already in bed but he’s probably still awake. If he gets whiney just read him the second chapter from the Whiney-the-Pooh book on his bookcase, that should calm him down. You’re old enough to know not to invite anyone over while I’m gone. There’s left over pizza in the fridge if you get hungry. I don’t know when I’ll be home so don’t wait up.” She moves out of the way and I walk into my bedroom and grab the house key and slip it into my back pocket. I walk over to the basinet and lean down and leave a little kiss on Addy’s forward. She frowns in her sleep and I smile.


“Love you, toots.” I whisper and then I stand back up and leave the room. I go into Mattie’s room and he’s sitting in the middle of the bed with his legs crossed Indian style, waiting for me. I give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek and he wipes at the mark. “Be good for Cordelia.” He rolls his eyes. He’s going to give her hell. She won’t even know what hit. “I’ll see you later. Love you.” He says it back and then gives me one more hug and then I pick him up and tuck him under the covers of his bed. It took me half and hour to convince him to sleep in his own room tonight. I don’t know when I’ll be back from patrolling and I don’t want to wake him up by crawling into bed at three in the morning. I turn out his light and then leave the room. Cordelia is sitting on the couch flipping through the channels. Looks like she took me up on the left over pizza offer. I walk over to the side of the couch and she looks up at me. “I doubt she will, but if Buffy calls tell her I’ll talk to her tomorrow. Tucker usually sleeps in the training room unless you wanna let him in.” I pick my cell phone up off of the little end table and put it in my jacket pocket. “I got my cell so call if there’s a problem, the number’s on the fridge. I guess I’ll see you later.” I’m out the door before she has a chance to reply.


I breathe in the very cold December air and let it fill my lungs. God this feels so good. I have to drive to the convention center, I even had to buy a ticket for the concert. But it’s all cool. I listen to the band that’s playing there tonight and I probably would have gone anyway. But this is business, not pleasure. I’m just looking for vamps. Yep, I’m looking for vamps, lookin for vamps, lookin for vamps. Maybe if I say it enough I’ll actually believe it. I get to the center in fifteen minutes, it would normally take about ten but traffic was a bitch. There must be a lot of people wanting to see this band live. It’s fair ground seating so I’ll just have to shove my way to the front. Won’t be too hard when I got slayer strength on my side. I’ll be wicked in the mosh pit because I just know there’s gonna be one. I park the car, my Camaro, a.k.a. sex on wheels, and lock it up. There are a lot of people here tonight and there’s this wicked vibe goin around. People are revved up and lookin to party, and I am not excluded. The crowd is pretty diverse ranging from teenage boys and girls to women and men in their early to mid twenties. Good, I fit right in. I don’t look a day over twenty-three and I love it.


I walk up the stairs along with at least thirty other people. I see a bunch of ‘em checkin me out, both boys and girls, but mostly the teenage boys. I put an extra swagger in my hips just to show ‘em what they’ll never get. I think one of the boys just got a hard on. Yep, I still got it. So I hand the guy my ticket and walk into the doors. I’ve never been here before so I don’t know where to go exactly so I just follow the masses. Tonight is going to fuckin rock! The room where the concert is, is huge. All of the seats have been taken out, I can see the holes for the bolts in the floor where the seats would normally be. The stage if fuckin huge and there are already at least a thousand people in here and there’s plenty of room for more. I think this room can hold up to like, two thousand, maybe a little less. Oh well.


I quickly make my way up to the front. I look down at my watch, the concert starts in about twenty minutes. There are people piling in all around me. One guy tall, dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin, dressed in black loose fitting jeans and a black t-shirt, pretty good lookin, if I weren’t already committed I might take him for a ride, and I’m not talking about in my car. Well, maybe in the car. Anyway, he keeps eyein me up and down, stopping at my breasts a couple of times. I take in a deep breath to puff out my chest a little. He seems to notice and looks into my eyes. And all that breath just left my chest. He has this fire in his eyes, this...primal look. I’ve never seen anything so intense before. He flashes me a perfect smile and I smile back. Just play it cool Faith, and remember, you’re engaged with two kids, you cannot in anyway- oh, he’s coming over here! He stands in front of me and I look up at him. This boy has got to be at least six three, maybe a little taller.


“Hey, I’m Mark.” Huh? I heard what he said but I can’t pay attention to what he’s saying. I’m too busy lookin at those perfect lips move. Ok, Faith time to snap out of it! I’m in love with Buffy, I don’t need to be tempted by this guy. Tempted? Who’s tempted? I’m sure not. Nope, in no way am I...he’s sticking his hand out towards me. Oh! He probably wants me to shake it. I reach out and take his hand. It’s soft but a little rough at the same time because of the calluses by his fingers. He has a nice grip. “It’s nice meeting you...” He trails off. Oh, he probably wants my name. Why am I acting like such a...such a...such a girl?


“Faith. I’m Faith.” Wow, good job, ‘cause he doesn’t know that you’re totally psycho. I could barely get the words out. Our hands linger longer then they should. He’s eyes me again, up and down very slowly, taking in every detail. Am I? Am I blushing? No, I don’t blush. I’ve only blushed for Buffy, I don’t blush for other people. I’m shameless, shameless people don’t blush. The ring on my finger suddenly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and it seems to snap me out of this weird hypnotic state. I hold up my hand with the ring facing him so he can see. “I’m engaged.” Wow, ‘cause now he doesn’t now that you’re stupid. Nope, he thinks you went to fuckin Harvard. I sound like a complete idiot and I feel like one too. I never act this way, why am I acting this way? Maybe he’s some type of demon. That has to be it. He’s a demon and he’s making me feel like a total girl.


“That’s nice.” It’s like he doesn’t even care. He looks like the kinda guy who would fuck an engaged person. He lets my hand go and I quickly put it back at my side. God, my palm is so fuckin sweaty. “So, you been listening to Motograter long?” Um, Motograter? What the fuck is Motograter? Oh right, the band! Fuck I’m so stupid. I nod my head yes and he smiles. Then the overhead lights cut out and the stage lights turn on and the curtain pulls back to reveal the band. This night is going to fuckin rock! They start playing the first song. It’s loud, hard and fast. Just how I used to like my sex. But I have Buffy now, I like to be tender and loving about it. But a little kink is good every once in a while. I yell along with the lyrics and bagging my head along with the hard beat. I feel someone bump into me and I smile evilly. These people aren’t going to know what hit ‘em. I turn around see the large group of people smashing into each other, and elbowing each other. It’s like one large mass of body parts and movement and I’m going straight for the middle.


I get elbowed in the face seven times, kneed in the ass eight times, my tits are grabbed and groped fifteen times, and one more person tries to grab my crotch heads are gonna roll. But I’m loving this. It reminds me of the old days when I’d seduce the ticket guy into letting me in to concerts for free. All of the bodies, all of the sweat, and loudness of the music and the voices of the boys and girls screaming along with the song is getting my blood pumping in a major way. As I smash into one guy, sending him stumbling back, something catches my eye. A vampire, about eight feet away from me, suckin on a girl’s neck like there’s no tomorrow. And no one is paying any attention. I step forward to go kill the vamp and save the girl when I’m elbowed so hard in my left eye that I stumble backwards. That fucking hurt! And since I’m disoriented because of the blow I’m being shoved around and hit and kneed from all angles and I can’t catch my balance. If I fall now I don’t think I’ll get back up again. Not that I’ll die, possibly, but most of these people are wearing heavy boots with really thick soles, and if they were to step on my back it would paralyze me. Then I feel a strong hand grab onto my arm and pull me hard. I’m being dragged out of the mosh pit until we’re standing with the rest of the crowd. I look up at my rescuer, and trust me I hate feeling like such a damsel, and it’s that guy from earlier...Mark? Yeah, Mark.


“You looked like you could use some help.” He flashes that smile and I can’t help but feel stupid again. But then I smell the blood from the girl and I look over. There’s still a little time! I run over towards the vamp and pull my stake out. I grab the girl by the arm so she won’t fall and then plunge my stake into the vampire’s heart through his back. He yells out before turning to dust. Only five people noticed but they’re so drugged up they probably think it’s the E fucking with their heads. Which is good. Ok, now it’s time to show those fuckers how to really fuckin mosh. I take a step forward but I feel his hand on my arm again. I look up into his dark brown eyes. I watch as everything goes into slow motion and he leans down and captures my lips with his. The kiss is almost violent. It’s teeth and tongue and lips gnawing at each other at such a fast and hard rate that I can’t tell which are mine and which are his. I feel someone bump into me and I’m pushed into the rest of his body. I can feel his erection against me and I slowly gyrate my hips so I gently rub against the tip. He pulls back for air and I look into his eyes.


I just realized what I’ve done, what we’ve done, and I almost get sick. What the fuck am I doing? I push him back and run out of the room. I leave through the large front doors and run towards the joggers trail. I may have never been inside that building before but I’ve been around this area hundreds of times. I run up the trail and around the corner but instead of following the trail like everyone else would I start to run up the hill. I get to the top and sit down on the rock that I’ve sat on over a thousand times. I look over at the river and watch as it flows slowly in the moonlight.


God this would be so romantic if Buffy were here and I hadn’t just made out and cock-teased some guy named Mark. Buffy’s gone for three weeks and I almost give in the first chance I get. Why do I always have to screw things up? Buffy would never do something like this. She’s decent enough to resist the touch of another person. Why am I such a whore? Why do I always have to fuck up like this? I know that I resisted, that I pulled back and ran away, but for just a second, for just that one little second, I thought about leaving with him. I thought about all the ways I could have him screaming out in pure pleasure and begging me for more. And for that one second, I wanted nothing more then to fulfill that desire. And I almost gave in. I almost grabbed him by the hand and lead him out to my car so I could ask him where he lives and we would have gone back to his place, or if he isn’t from around here we would have rented a motel and we would have fucked, violently, loudly and for hours. And I would have enjoyed it. And i would have lost everything. Everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve worked so damn hard to get. My kids, my house, my dog, my Buffy. I would have lost it all. And for what? To satisfy my libido? To have that guy moaning and groaning and calling out for more? It isn’t worth it. I know that, but the fact of the matter is for that one little second I didn’t care about any of the people that I love, all I wanted to do was get laid.


I sigh heavily and stand up. I walk down the hill being careful since it’s steep. I walk back to my car and drive off to the cemetery. I wonder around for a little bit but there’s no action here tonight. I think we need to move somewhere with a little more activity. I wonder around for a couple of hours before I finally go back to my car. I sit and stare off into space for...who knows how long? I start it up and drive around the town for about an hour. I’m not avoiding going home. Or maybe I am. Who knows? Ah, new plan. I haven’t taken my bike for a spin in a while. Poor baby is probably aching to get out and stretch her legs. I park my car in the garage and shut off the ignition. I take the keys out and run over to my bike. I throw on my helmet and carefully back it up. I walk it up the street before I start it and take off into the night.


I go my usual route which is just a bunch of back roads and it allows me to go faster then I should. A hundred miles an hour is not a good idea in December but I don’t care. I feel like I’m flying, like nothing can touch me, like that little incident at the concert isn’t real and everything is going to be ok. The ground is a little slick because it rained last night, but I keep pushing forward. I go to make a turn, one that I’ve made a million times before, but because I’m not really focusing like I should I take it too sharp and the slick ground shows no mercy. The bike flips to the left and I go flying through the air. And as I’m falling, twirling, cartwheeling and generally being tossed around like a rag doll I remember why I never ride over eighty in December. I hit the ground hard and bounce back into the air. When I land again I hit my head on the pavement so hard that my helmet cracks and breaks off and goes flying from my skull. Well that can’t be good.


I tumble, and I feel many bones break and skin rip as I skid across the ground. I come to a rolling stop in the grass on the side of the road. No one ever comes back here on this road. It leads to an abandoned house and I usually turn around in the driveway and then head back home. It could be days before someone finds me, maybe even longer. Why do I always have to be so stupid? Ok, lightheaded, I’m feeling lightheaded people. That isn’t good right? And what’s that stickin in my back? Oh, I think...yeah, it’s my arm. It feels like it’s been dislodged at the elbow and now it’s sticking into my back as I lay on top of it. I’m not even going to try and stand up because I know my legs are fucked up. I wonder if I’ll ever walk again. Oh, sleepy now. I yawn widely. Sleep is good.


BPOV


Oh my God, my head. What the fuck did I do last night? My does my stomach feel so...oh God I’m gonna be sick. I jump up from wherever I was just laying and stumble around as I try to find the bathroom. Where the fuck am I? This doesn’t look like my house or the apartment I’ve been staying in. Sink, ok, sink is second best. I rush over to the sink and let the contents of my stomach heave themselves out of me. It’s painful and it’s disgusting but it makes me feel a little better. Hmm, lucky, I threw up in the side of the sink with the garbage disposal. I turn on the faucet and let the water rinse away the disgusting stuff that had been in my tummy. Once that’s all gone and the sink is clean I position my head so that I can suck up some of the flowing water and rinse out my mouth. How much did I drink last night? What happened last night? I remember being excited and getting into the car with the girls and then going to the club and dancing but the rest is a blank. And what am I wearing? I look down at myself and I’m wearing nothing more then my birthday suit. Ok, where are my clothes? I look over towards the kitchen door when I hear someone walking towards it and Vanessa walks into the room as equally as naked. I think I’m gonna be sick again.


“Did we...we didn’t...I mean we...I wouldn’t...I...what...did we?” Wow, and the award for the most words spoken but no actual sentence being made goes to...Buffy Anne Summers, come on down, take a bow. Jeez, have I always been this annoying? I shake my head a little and Vanessa yawns widely. I guess she’s just now becoming aware of her nudity because she blushes and uses one arm to cover her breasts and the other hand to cover her...other private area. I turn back to the sink and get sick again. She didn’t answer me. Why didn’t she answer me? Oh God, I cheated on Faith. I cheated on Faith with a twenty-one year old blonde girl. I’m a horrible person. I’m so horrible. Why would I do something like this. Tequila! I remember, someone brought tequila to the table and I downed like ten shots. Oh God. This is bad, this is really, really bad. When I finish getting sick I rinse out the sink and then wash out my mouth. I turn around and she’s gone. She must’ve slipped out to go put some clothes back on. God, it’s cold in here. I should talk to Giles about getting better heating in the rooms. Then she walks back into the room wearing a cotton bathrobe, carrying a matching one and she hands it to me. I slip it on and tie the sash really tight.


“Um, we didn’t do anything last night. After your tenth shot Rachel took the keys and you started to argue with her because you didn’t think you were drunk and you wanted to drive us back here. Holly went home with some chick, Sissy and Rachel drove back with us but took off so I just brought you back here. You complained that it was too hot so I turned down the thermostat but you insisted on taking off your clothes.” Wow, ok that’s embarrassing but at least we didn’t do anything. Then I give her a weird look. If I was the one that was drunk then why did she walk in here naked? I guess she knows why I’m looking at her weird because she blushes. “I just sleep nude. I forgot you were here. Sorry about the full frontal.” I smile as best I can with my head hurting so bad. “I can make you some breakfast if you want. The coffee maker’s on a timer so it should be ready in a couple minutes.” I drag myself over to the kitchen table and sit down in one of the chairs. God this is uncomfortable, how can she stand to sit in this?


“Just coffee would be fine. Thank you for taking care of me. You didn’t have to do this.” She smiles and goes to say something but I interrupt. “No really, Vanessa, thanks. I appreciate it.” I’ll have to make sure Giles gives her a bonus or something. I fold my arms on the table and rest my forehead on top of my arms and hide my eyes from the light leaking in through the window. God, this sucks. Now I know why I never drank tequila. Faith used to drink it, she’d have at least fifteen shots in one sitting and I’ve have to carry her out to the car and take her home. This sucks. I don’t think I’ve ever had a hang over this bad, and I’m including the time I came down from that cave-slayer. I look up where I hear Vanessa place something down in front of me. Coffee thank God! I give her a small smile and then take a sip of the very hot but very satisfying liquid. I blow on it a little and take a couple more sips.


“So, what are you plans for today? I know you have that training session with the girls, but what are you doing after?” I look over at her for a few seconds. What am I going to do after. I don’t really do much around here. I patrol the halls and make sure that all the girls are in their classes and then I go back to my room and usually just sit around, look at the pictures of my babies and Faith. And then I get on the computer to see if she’s sent me anymore. Even with Willow and Xander here I usually just stay in my room. At least they’re doing stuff. Willow is helping Giles bless the place so evil isn’t so attracted to it. Apparently there have been a few attacks by some really stupid demons and also some evil spirits or something. Xander has been teaching some of the students some carpentry skills. He says with all that power they would make great construction workers and get paid the big bucks in no time and they wouldn’t even break a sweat. But I know it’s just his way of trying to be helpful. I’m trying as hard as I can but these girls just aren’t responding to me the way I would like them to.


“Probably just sit in my room. I need to call Faith, see how she’s doing. Addison had a doctor’s appointment yesterday, I think, I want to find out how that went. I can’t wait until this week is over.” I’m leaving in exactly six days and I can’t wait. I’m trying to convince Giles to let me go early but he’s afraid if I leave now then the girls will just starts acting up again. Most of the girls go home for Christmas break so he isn’t too worried about me leaving then. He knows I want to spend time with my family so he’s giving me a couple days but then he wants me back here to help keep an eye on the students that don’t leave for Christmas. I think Willow is going to watch the training session today, take a break from all the blessing. That’s good, maybe I could use her help.


“Ok, well you ripped your clothes to shreds getting them off, I have some stuff that you can borrow.” I give her a grateful smile and then down the rest of my coffee and she’s there in a heartbeat to refill my mug. I smile at her again and then down this cup. I really want this hang over to go away. I have that stupid training session and I can’t just cancel it, the girls might think I’m going soft or something. But I might have to cancel it because there’s no way I can teach a class with a hang over this horrible. But I guess I’ll just have to try. I down my third cup of coffee and then thank her after she gives me some clothes. Nothing fancy, just a plain navy blue t-shirt and some sweat pants. I thank her again as I gather up my stuff and leave the room. I hurry back to my room and get a quick shower and brush my teeth at least seven times. I still can’t get that nasty taste out of my mouth. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it because the class starts in twenty minutes. I rush to the room where some of the equipment is kept. I punch in the code on the little keypad and the door unlocks. I walk over to the sign out sheet thing and write down what I’m taking and what time I’m taking it, this way everyone knows who had what last just in case it goes missing. I gather the things that I need and then hurry to the gym. I’m a little early which is good. Willow comes in shortly after and we hug in greeting and she tells me all about her day. She even does a little bit of her Wicca mojo to get rid of my hangover. And then the girls come in and line up like they’re supposed. Lily is dragging ass but that’s normal. I stand in front of them like a drill sergeant.


“Today we’re going to work on honing your slayer abilities. It’s important to be able to know where your attacker is even if you can’t see them. So, each of you will take turns putting on the blindfold,” I hold up the black blindfold so they can see it. “And by the end of the session you should be able to know where I’m going to attack from and then defend yourself.” Most of them roll there eyes and look uninterested. A couple look a little excited, which is good. These are the girls that really wanted to do well and now that they’ve gotten back on track they’re doing better then expected. Lily shifts her weight from foot to foot and looks a little uneasy but then she covers it up with her usual bad attitude.


“Well I think this is fuckin pointless. I think you just want us to make jackasses out of ourselves by putting on a stupid blindfold.” That’s true, I do want them to suffer a little and feel embarrassed but that’s not the point. I had to do it so they should have to do it too. I think about arguing with her, about telling her that if she doesn’t do the exercise then she’ll be running the cross country track while carrying a fifty pound weight in a backpack strapped to her back. But I don’t, because I remember that I’m standing in the room with the most powerful witch ever, who just ten minutes ago was able to get rid of a hangover with a simple touch of her finger, and trust me there will be E.T. jokes about that later. I get a smile on my face, a big evil smile and it makes all of them nervous, including Willow. I toss the blindfold to the ground and motion for Willow to come over to me. She stands next to me and waves to the girls. She really likes interacting with the students and has thought about maybe moving here to become a teacher but she still hasn’t talked with Kennedy about it.


“Alright, if you don’t want to make yourself look like a jackass.” Which I can make her look like one anyway with my little plan. “By putting on a blindfold then I guess we’ll just do the lesson a different way. The whole point of this exercise is to teach you how to restrain or slay your enemy with using nothing more then your natural slayer instincts, and also your basic human ones. Every single person on this planet has a natural flight or fight instinct. On some small level they can sense danger and if they listen to what they’re being told by their animal instincts they’ll be able to figure out if they should stay and fight or run away far and fast. But as slayers that ability has been magnified. We’re faster, stronger, have better hearing, better eyesight, better reflexes, and enhanced flight or fight responses. As a slayer you’re going to want to stay and fight, your need to win sometimes blinds you from seeing the situation for what it really is. But sometimes you need to back off and then regroup to go about winning with a different approch. This will hopefully be able to teach you that. Now, Willow, if you’ll be so kind to use some of that wonderful Wicca juice you got stored but I’d like to be invisible now.”


Her eyes get really wide at the request but she does as I asked. It doesn’t take along and it’s pretty easy. All she did was place her hand flat against my back and I felt all of this energy rushing into me and then I watched as my body became transparent, starting with my fingertips and working its way towards the rest of my body. Then my shoulders, up to my head, down my torso and then my thighs and calves and finally my feet. This is so cool. I love being invisible, I wish I could be it almost everyday. And it would be so cool if both me and Faith could go invisible, we’d mess around in every single store we could find. Anyway, getting back on track here. The girls watch with wide eyes as this takes place and then Willow goes over and sits on the bleachers again. This is going to be so much fun.


“Ok, now everyone stand against the wall and I’ll pick you one at a time. When I call your name stand in the middle of the mat, and I need it to stay completely silent. Once everyone has had a chance to practice a little then we’ll bring in some distractions to make it a little harder.” They all line up against the wall, shoulder to shoulder. I’m glad that they’re listening but they’re taking a long time to do it. Lily is standing off to the side a little so she’s a few feet away from the rest. She’s looking down at her fingernails and acting like she couldn’t care less. “Ok, let’s start with Lily.” She rolls her eyes but comes out to the middle of the mat. She’s learned by now that if she doesn’t listen during training then I’ll make her run the cross country track, and I do use physical force to make her do it. “Ok, now just give yourself over to your instincts, rational thought has nothing to do with this.”


I slowly circle her and I see her tense up. She’s scanning the area around her, trying to find out where I’m going to strike from. I walk up really slowly, using all of that good old slayer stealth so she doesn’t hear me. I quickly sweep at her ankles with my foot, I really want to knock her to her ass, but she jumps a second before I would have made contact and she turns and before I can react she’s punched me in the face, hard. I stumble back a little but I quickly get over it. And now she has a cocky grin on her face. I don’t understand this. She’s great when it comes to the training, she can do almost all of the moves that I’ve taught so far, so why does she refuse to train? Why doesn’t she do her work? I don’t get it. She looks right at me, like she knows exactly where I’m standing now, and maybe she does. She raises a cocky eyebrow and I want to smack her.


“You were saying?” Some of the other girls giggle a little at the comment. Oh, this bitch is going down. I kick at her side and she wasn’t expecting it. Before she can react I’ve kicked her in the knee, causing it to buckle and now she’s kneeling on her knees. I push her shoulders back and she falls down. I straddle her waist and hold her shoulders down with my hands. She’s breathing really hard, her nostrils are flaring, and there’s this look in her eyes, one that I haven’t seen in them before. It’s a look of genuine fear. I’m not looking at a slayer, I’m looking at a frightened girl who just can’t bring herself to trust anybody for whatever reasons. But then the look goes away as she hands herself over to her slayer half. She quickly brings her legs up and uses her feet to powerfully shove me off her. I hope my shoulders don’t bruise because that actually hurt. I stand up and brush myself off. She’s looking around again and she’s listening very closely. Every muscle in her body is tense, every nerve is on end as she tries to scope me out.


She locks eyes with me and then everything becomes a whirlwind of motion and fury. I’m able to easily block her punches and kicks but there’s so much power behind them, so much intensity I don’t think I’ll be able to last for very long. And then she gets in one good hit, one that I should have been able to block. I fall down and she jumps on top of me. She starts screaming her head off and she connects blow after blow to my face, neck, chest, shoulders, everywhere she can reach. And all of this fucking hurts! I try to block as best I can but she’s really strong and I wasn’t expecting this at all. A couple of the other girls come to my rescue though, which I’m grateful for but it’s still a hit to the pride, and they drag her off of me. She sands up and brushes herself all a little and shrugs them off her. She straightens out her shirt and then looks down at her knuckles. There’s blood on them, my blood. I think she broke my nose. She gets this panicked look in her eyes and then she takes off and leaves the gym.


“Ok, um, why don’t you guys go back to your rooms for now? I know all of you have a math test tomorrow so you better study for that.” Willow tells them as she walks towards me. The girls leave, some of them look really freaked out. Willow kneels down next to me, I guess my blood isn’t invisible because she reaches out and gently touches a spot on my cheek where the blood is running down. I can feel the magic work through me as I become visible again. “Wow, she really did a number on you.” No shit. I feel her hand on my chest and I give her a weird look but she just smiles and I can feel the calming sensation of her healing me. “There, good as new. Now that the girls are back in their rooms maybe you should go rest. I have a meeting with Blake and that could take a while.” Blake is the head of the magic department, but since Willow is so much more advanced then him what with her being a goddess and all, she’s trying to teach him some more advanced stuff.


“That sounds like a great idea. I need to call Faith anyway. I can’t wait to see her again. I miss her so much, Wills.” I sit up and she wraps me up in a big hug. I hug her back and after a couple of minutes she helps me up off of the floor and we go our separate ways. I take the stuff that I borrowed back to the equipment room and then sign my name of the sheet again in the little spot that lets everyone know that I put it back. I was really looking forward to the girls using the weapons. The confidence that they get from simply holding a weapon is pretty incredible to see. It’s like there’s this shift inside them, like they’re handing themselves over to the slayer. I guess I’ll just have to wait until Monday to see it. We don’t make them train on Sunday, everyone needs a break sometime, including them. I punch in the number code on the keypad and open up the door. I walk in and yawn widely. I close the door and turn on the living room light. I want to call Faith before I do anything else. I pick up the cordless but then I notice the little light flashing on the answering machine. That’s weird, she knows I train with the girls from three to five. I push the play button and Cordelia’s voice bellows out of the machine.


“Buffy, it’s Cordelia. You need to get back here and fast. I don’t have time to explain but...I just got here wait, your damn turn...I swear the people in this town are so simple minded it’s cause for concern. Anyway, Faith crashed on her motorcycle. She’s still alive but it’s bad. Hurry.” And the message ends. She crashed her bike? How the fuck did that happen? She’s always really careful. She never goes over the speed limit in the winter and because she’s a slayer she has a better handle of it then most people would. Was she just not paying attention? Was the crash even her fault? I gotta get out of here. I need to get home. Why is this happening? Why does something like this always happen at the worst possible time?


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Next time on ‘So Damn Domestic’:


Buffy watching with sadness and fear as the doctor explains the damage to her: “There are several broke bones, a collapsed lung. Extensive internal damage and massive head trauma. She’s alive and she’s stable. We did one emergency surgery but this is not going to be an easy fix, and even with all the medical help possible it doesn’t look good.”


Willow slams her fist down on the table, tears in her eyes and she begins to yell: “That’s not what I asked! Just be honest with me, do you love her!”


Cordelia watches from the doorway as Buffy cries next to an unconscious Faith. Tears well up in her eyes. She walks over to a payphone and puts in some change. She waits as it rings and she takes in a deep breath before saying: “Hi, it’s me. I know we agreed not to talk anymore but...I need you here. Please, please just...come over. Come over and be with me. I know you told me it’ll never happen between us but please just come.”