The Highlander Factor

As the office door had slammed closed, the five people in the lobby remained silent, split into two distinct groups and ignoring the filthy looks being tossed around. Eventually Faith broke the silence, directing her question at Willow and Cordelia who were sat together on the couch.

"I don't get it. He tried to kill both of you and you want him running around the streets again. Okay, I was all for helping him before but now. He's just another vamp."

It was Willow who offered something in the way of an explanation. "He's changed. Even before he got his soul back, he'd changed. And hey, who are you to start throwing stones. I seem to remember body swapping badness and all sorts of nasty things last time you were in Sunnydale."

Gunn growled from his corner. "Could be you're only protecting him because you've been throwing down with him."

"What?" The shock in Willow's voice was almost palpable.

He swaggered over towards her. "I heard he was doing someone in Sunnydale and I'm saying it was you."

"It was Buffy." No one had seen Angel come out of the office, but his words could have stopped a ten tonne truck in its tracks.

"Buffy?!" The name was choked from Gunn's throat.

"Jeez, what is it with that girl? Does she screw every good-looking dead guy she runs into?" Angel shot Faith a filthy look and went over to stand with Cordelia and Willow, placing himself strategically between them and the others.

"Spike and Buffy were sleeping together last spring. But it's over, completely over. Anyone got anything to add?" His lwas was challenging enough that even Gunn wasn't going to question it.

"Okay," he deliberately turned his back on the others and addressed Willow. "Can you do some sort of locator spell that will help us find him?"

"Angel?" Cordelia had remained mostly silent listening to the argument as it had swept round her. "Can I just ask? What if we do find him? What will you do then?"

He could se in in her eyes. She knew, had most likely seen, the nature of the relationship between him...no, between Angelus and Spike, and she was scared. Terrified that having given up so much to save him, he was going to turn away from her.

As gently as he could Angel took her in his arms. If he could have used his body to speak, then every atom of love he felt for her would have been imprinted on her brain for eternity. Excnow now she had no eternity. For the first time, the reality of that hit him. Cordelia was fully human again and with the visions she would die, leave him, just as Buffy had done but more finally. And when his Shanshu came he would be alone, there would be no one left to share his humanity with. He clutched at her more tightly as if he could hold her death at bay with his embrace, and sank his face into her hair, his tears wetting her neck.

He felt her hands in hisr asr as she pulled him down to kneel between her legs and then wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"We'll find him, Angel. I promise."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Willow slumped forward, her body failing just before her mind. She was exhausted. This was the third locator spell she had done in just under a week, and although each had worked they had still been unable to find Spike. tim time she revealed his location, Angel and Wesley had set off in pursuit only to find that he'd moved on. What they found in his wake seemed to confirm their suspicions that he still had his soul; vampires dusted, demons, dead or dying, and grateful victims with tales of being rescued in the nick ome bme by someone who refused thanks or offers of payment, and disappeared without trace.

Based on that evidence Faith and Gunn had grudgingly conceded that Angel might be right and the Slayer had turned her full attention on searching for Connor and Justine. The vampire hunter had sulked for several days, amply aided by Fred's concerns about Spike's murderous nature, anxieties that had now spread to include Angel and Willow had overheard several conversations as Fred tried to convince her lover that leaving LA completely might be their best option. So far Gunn was resisting her and had even gone so far as to offer Willow a quiet apology for his unfounded accusation.

When confined to the hotel by daylight or lack of information, Angel and Cordelia were inseparable, talking for hours, as if every moment could be their last, which Willow supposed could be true. So far there had been no more visions, not that unusual according to Wesley, but as she watched her friends, the Witch could see their desperation, conveyed in every casual touch and small embrace. Neither able to truly commit when one was condemned to die and the other to live eternally.

"Anything?"

She looked up to see Angel lurking in the doorway. "The sewers, downtown. I'll point it out on the map."

He shook his head and walked in. "Don't bother. If he's in the sewers he'll be gone by the time we get there."

Willow stared at him from the floor then held out her hand for a pull up, as they touched she gave a little push inside her head, and for a moment met and felt Angel's thoughts.

"You've given up!"

He flinched back from the accusation, his expression evidence of his guilt even as his mouth opened to reject it.

"Don't try to deny it, mister. I saw it." She advanced on him, driving the vampire back towards the door with a finger jabbing into his chest. "How could you! He was willing to give up his soul for you. And he got his 'cos he wanted it, not like some people I could mention. Now you're going to give up on him? What would Buffy say? Shall I call her and ask?" She stared at him accusingly then spun back to the desk heading for the phone. "In fact I'll just do that."

Angel could move pretty fast when he had a mind to, and her hand was still reaching for the phone when he caught her wrist, not hard but firmly enough to stop her going any further.

"Willow, don't. Don't call her."

She ignored him and stared studiously at her wrist until he released her, jerking away suddenly as if he'd been burned, the memories of the last hand he had laid on her flooding through his mind. Those events had not been discussed, in the same as as Angelus' crimes in Sunnydale had rarely been mentioned in front of him. But Angel knew that if he could see Willow's eyes at this moment, they would contain the same look of bitter fear Giles' showed each time they met. He shuffled backward putting more distance between them, removing himself from her personal space.

Unmoving, Willow tried to pull herself together, for her as well as him, the contact had brought back unwelcome memories and she briefly wondered how Buffy could have touched him again after Angelus had hurt her so badly. But this wasn't Angelus, it was Angel, and she should treat him as such, and...she was still entitled to be mad at him. With a deep breath, she turned back round to confront the figure that had tortured her for days and tried to destroy her mind.

"Give me a darn good reason not to."

Angel raised his head slightly, and stared at her through his lashes and she was struck again by just how beautiful he was, maybe she could understand Buffy's motivations after all.

"It's Cordelia. I love her and she's...unhappy, about Will - Spike being here." An interesting slip, Willow thought. Angelus might be gone but he's not so deeply buried, she was sure Angel wouldn't refer to his murderous Childe as Will.

"And you thought that if you stopped looking for him he might disappear and never come back."

Angel's shoulders dropped like a child caught stealing cookies from the jar, and his answer was so quiet Willow had to strain her ears to hear him.

"I just thought it would be easier."

She sank into the chair and sighed, her fear and anger at the vampire changing to sympathy. He tried so hard to get by in the human world, but she suspected that even Liam had been a disaster at relationships.

"I don't think it's supposed to be easy, Angel." There was a beat then she heard him sigh in acknowledgement of the truth.

"You find the map; I'll gesleesley. We can get there in an hour if we move fast."

Four days later and the only progress they had made was in finding a way of checking whether Spike still had his soul. Lorne had put Wesley in touch with a warlock, and for a hefty fee the man had produced a powder which, when thrown over the subject would make them momentarily glow blue if a soul was present. Angel had wanted them to check its efficacy on him, but Wesley had argued that there wasn't enough to risk wasting any on pointless rehearsals. All they had to do now was find the vampire in question and their hunt was following the same fruitless pattern as before.

Apart from that breakthrough it had been a quiet few days, Cordelia still hadn't had another vision, and Angel was privately starting to worry that his link to the Powers may have been broken by her perceived treachery. He was torn between concern for his own role as champion and relief that Cordy would no longer die. And therein lay the rub. How could he be champion and still give Cordelia the love she deserved, he may have his soul back now but with the happiness clause...Angel sighed and dropped his head into his hands. He felt like he'd been chasing the same thought for years and it wasn't getting any easier.

Wesley looked up at the sound. They had been banished from the office while Willow performed her spell and were sitting at the reception desk, he reading a newspaper and Angel brooding. He felt a pang of sympathy towards his old boss; he had a good idea what had elicited the sigh, having noticed the tension between Cordelia and Angel growing since he had got back. It was that damn clause, when the current crisis was over Wesley determined to resume the search he had been quietly pursuing for the previous couple of years. To find some sort of mystical super glue, some way of anchoring Angel's soul so firmly in place they would never have to worry about Angelus again.

"Got him!"

The office door was flung open and Willow bounced out, the city map clutched excitedly in her hand. "And you'll never, ever guess where he is."

She was met by two tired cynical looks and shrugged them off. "Go on, guess."

"Willow, I don't think we have time for such childish..."

She pouted when they refused to join in her game. "No fun." Angel glared at her and shlentlented. "Okay, okay. He's at your house. I bet you never revoked the invitation did you and hey, still daylight, so he's not going anywhere."

Her words fell into empty space as human and vampire vanished, heading for the underground garage and Wesley's car. Job done, Willow returned to the office to call Buffy and let her know she would soon be home. Sunnydale would be a rest cure when compared to things in LA.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It was dark and blissfully quiet in cor corner he had found. And it was probably foolish running here but it was the last place he remembered feeling safe, and warm and not hungry. And maybe they wouldn't find him, if he hid well enough, closed his eyes tightly enough, they might go away. All those people, all talking to him, all needing him. A quiet moan escaped as the pain started again and he beat at his head with his fists, it hurt more than the chip and he couldn't make it stop. Even when he did as they asked they still wanted more, until he'd had no more to give.

A man, running, heartbeat frenetically fast from fear and unaccustomed exercise, his blood sweet with terror crying out to be ravaged. Dark et, et, vampires, three, - two female, one male, - a hunting pack, not easy to take down but not impossible, if he had the strength, which he didn't any longer. Run, his mind screamed but to whom, the hunters or the prey. Blood, blood pumping, hot, coursing through its veins, calling to him, making him...hunger.

As his blood lust consumed him, Spike bit into his own arm, sucking greedily at the sluggish trickle that the wound produced. Somewhere in his mind he knew that this was no answer, would not keep him functioning much longer, and lessons Angelus had taught him years ago about starvation, and how it wouldn't kill but did terrible damage to a vampire's brain came back to him. He had to feed, he could smell it still, close, so close, the heart beating, the blood, blood, blood...

*~*~*~*~*~*

"He's in there I can feel him."

"Which is exactly why you are staying here and I am going in. You may have forgotten Angel but I haven't, the last time you two were together he ran away." Wesley was determined in this and the vampire could tell, stepping away from the door he couldn't pass through until Wesley invited him in.

The apartment was dark and smelled slightly stale, it had been at least a week since he'd been home, there being far too much to do at the hotel to bother. He glanced back through the door.

"Any idea where he might be, I don't want to surprise him."

Angel shrugged. "Try the kitchen, it feels like he's further away than the bedroom."

Wesley moved easily through the rooms, neither making undue noise that may scare Spike into running, nor cing ing as he really didn't want to take the vampire by surprise. The kitchen was vdarkdark, the blinds down as they had been when Wesley was playing host to his un-dead guest and he stopped in the doorway. Silence. Maybe Willow had been mistaken or maybe their quarry had escaped them again.

As he turned to leave a figure launched at him from the corner, he was held in vicelike arms and he felt fangs pierce his neck.

"Angel!!"

The blood was being drawn so fast; his heart racing to pump it away and he could see the older vampire at the door pressing against the barrier he was unable to pass.

"Wesley invite me in. For god's sake, he doesn't recognise you."

So fast, so slow, his heart was slowing, and it was like being trapped in jelly, everything muted std sticky and... "Come...in."

There was no sound, only lips' moving but it was enough. Wesley fell bonelessly to the floor, unaware of the frantic battle behind him as Angel reduced his delusional Childe to speedy unconsciousness, before turning his attentions to his friend, there was no immediate danger but a transfusion was clearly in order. He punched Cordelia's number into his cell phone and as he passed on the relevant information and asked her to take Wes to the ER, he poked at Spike with his foot. The other vampire was thin to the point of emaciation, obviously starving; he'd never had the reserves that had kept Angelus alive for all those weeks under the sea.

Call made and a bandage applied to Wesley's , he, he sat back to wait for Cordelia who had promised to accompany Wesley to the hospital, while he took Spike back to the hotel. There were contradictions layered upon contradictions here and Angel pondered what could have made his Childe attack Wesley. Even starving Angel had never attacked a human with full blood lust when he had his soul, yet if Spike didn't have his then why was he starving? As Cordelia walked in, Angel stood up with a sigh; it would all have to wait until later, now he just needed to get his Childe safely home.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ceiling looked familiar in that hauntingly ominous way that has you sweating coldly and praying to wake up. Machines hummed and beeped in the background, and he'd dreamt this so often that in his belly he knew that any moment Angel would be coming through the door to kill him. He lay still, silent, waiting to hear the click that presaged that most traumatic part and when it came he couldn't prevent the whimper that escaped his throat.

"Wesley? You're awake. Thank god. You've been out forever."

"C-Cordelia?" He put his hand to his neck, feeling the well healed scar there and sat up, propped on one elbow watching Cordy move around the room, putting down her coffee and ringring a chair, and finally noticing those small differences between this room and the one that haunted his dreams.

"The doctor said that he wants you to stay here tonight but tomorrow, so long as you don't go all icky, they'll let you out." She was settled with her coffee and looking up at him brightly, the shadows under her eyes were almost completely gone and she appeared far more her old self. She seemed... happy. Wesley studied her face with fascination; it was an expression he wasn't used to seeing since Groo had first been in her life and it looked good on her.

"What?" Cordelia put her hand up to pat her head. "Do I have bad hair because Angel got me out of the shower to come with you and I really didn't have time..."

He filtered out her voice, as he had done in the first months they had worked together and a small, gentle smile crawled up his face. It was so good to see her like this and they both deserved what little happiness was thrown their way.

"So. How're you feeling? Getting over the whole being drained by I'm-not-so-evil vampire?"

With a shudder, the physical memory of being drained came back to him and his hand flew to the other side of his neck where it encountered a small bandage. Thankfully, however starved Spike might have been, he'd bitten cleanly and having seen the wounds left by some vampires Wesley could be no more than grateful, his body was starting to resemble a badly stitched patchwork already.

"Wh..." he coughed slightly, wincing as the action dragged on the wound and tried again. "Where's Angel?"

Glancing up from her portion of take out fries, Cordelia grimaced. "Back at the hotel. He waited until I showed, then took off with Spike." She poked around in the bag. "I would offer you one but I've not eaten for, like, forever, plus they're gross. I am never going to that place again."

So wonderfully Cordelia. "And how is Spike?" He tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible, however his body had other ideas and he put his shaking hands firmly on the bed, willing them still. Had it only been last night that he'd dreamed so alluringly of being held in the vampire's cool seductive embrace, of Spike's fangs sliding into his neck, not that the image had any Freudian meaning of course. Now, just twenty-four hours later, he knew that reality was very different, far from erotic the experience had been extremely painful and absolutely terrifying.

This time it was the coffee that was getting the patented Cordelia Chase examination. "Angel says he'll be fine. Apparently you were exactly what he needed, so that's good, right?" She said, a little distracted by something in her drink she was chasing with one exquisitely manicured nail.

With a rueful laugh, Wesley settled back on the pillows. "Cordelia, I must say I've really missed you."