It's An Adventure

"Oh, well, *yuck*! Yuck! *What* did I just land on? No! Don't tell me! I'm sure I don't want to know." Cordelia said as she placed her foot from the last ladder rung and to the floor. The floor that just went *squish* beneath her foot.

"You've offed a rat, is all, Cordy." Xander told her, his hands at her waist, as he helped her from the ladder.

"I *said* don't tell me!" She yelped, wiping her foot against the ladder rung and batting his hands away. "We *so* better find Angel!" She mumbled. She looked around. "Oh, my *god*! This is just *beyond* yuck!" She shuddered once she took a good look around.

The walls were slimy and wet and *dripping* with. . .something; she had no idea what. The smell was indescribable. And the very *air* was heavy with the stench and *feel* of the place. Cordelia began to gag.

Danielle crossed to her and placed an arm across her shoulders. Cordelia stiffened. Danielle smiled at her. "These sewer's aren't so bad, really, girl. I've been in worse. I'll help keep you safe."

"To have as dinner later on, I'm sure." Cordelia mumbled beneath her breath, pulling away.

Danielle grinned at her. "Nope." She laughed. "I grew up on a farm when I was human. My dad was forever serving my animal friends up for dinner, so now, once I *talk* to someone or something, I just can't *eat* it." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "So, while I hold no particular *fondness* for humans, I just can't eat anyone I've, well, gotten to *know*."

Cordelia turned to the vampire and thrust her hand out, flashing a big smile at her. "Hi! I'm *Cordelia*! Pleased to meet you! Have you been a vampire for long?"

Danielle laughed and took her hand, shaking it. "I've already taken you guys off my dinner list. I'm just here for the fun, really. Killer and the cute one caught my eye." She told her, nodding her head towards Xander and Wesley. She winked at Cordelia. "And it's *always* good to know Bleathvores. They really *do* have the best stuff, sometimes."

Cordelia looked at the cloak-covered creature. "Really?" She asked doubtfully.

"*Yes*. I got a full length Armani leather coat for a bottle of scotch just last week."

Cordelia's eyes bugged a bit. "Yep. And an Anne Klien suite for a gun."

"Really? So what? They're like crack-heads?"

"Yep. Only you don't have to worry about them coming back to rob you."

"Cool."

"Come. We must walk, now." Bleathvore 1 told the group. He flashed his teeth. "I am soon to win the challenge. This is a good time. Let us all be pleased for my good fortune."

Xander looked at Danielle. "He said let's get moving and be happy. He's going to win something."

Xander nodded. "Fine. Whatever." He motioned for the Bleathvore to lead the way. Xander pulled the Glock out and held it. He *really* liked the little automatic weapon.

1 looked to Danielle. "Tell him not to send any projectiles my way. It would upset me greatly."

"Shoot him and he's gonna get pissed. Don't shoot."

"Yeah, yeah. Tell him I won't shoot."

Danielle did and the Bleathvore moved ahead of the group, leading the way. "Anyway, Killer, if you shoot them, they just spray out acid like slime. I don't know *how* you kill a Bleathvore, but shooting it won't work."

"What did you tell the human, vampire?"

"I told that you can not be killed by their weapons. How *can* you be killed?"

Bleathvore 1 laughed. "We are not killed. We die. When it is time."

Danielle didn't know how to respond. Her dealings with Bleathvores revolved around buying and selling and trading. She'd never gotten *personal* with any before now. "That is a good thing." She offered. It was the best she could do.

"Yes. It is very nice. We like it. Know many of us, do you?"

"I have had many dealings with the Ta'karta clan."

Bleathvore 1 threw up several tentacles, flinging slime. "Liars and cheats! You have been foolish in your dealings. But you are a vampire and not expected to know any better. I am of the Le'tish clan. We are good, honest, and most entertaining. The Ta'karta clan are bores, cheats and liars."

"They say the same of your clan."

Bleathvore 1 laughed. "See? They *lie*."

"What are you two saying?" Xander asked.

"Nothing. Just a bit of clan hate going on."

"Ask him how much further." Xander told her.

"Do we have much longer to walk?"

"Why is this of concern? Will they not journey to the end?" Bleathvore 1 stopped. He would not continue if the humans were going to stop.

"Why'd he stop?" Xander's finger tightened on the trigger of his gun. He was really starting to *love* the Glock. He'd already decided to keep it. The weight of it in his hand felt *good*, and he loved the way the trigger felt all cool and smooth against his finger. He ran his finger along the curve of the trigger. Damn, but he wanted to shoot something.

"No, no. The question confused him. He won't keep going if you're thinking about quitting. But you're *not* right? I mean, if you have to walk a mile or more you'll keep walking, right?"

"Yes." Cordelia, Wesley and Xander all answered without hesitation.

"They will go to the end. Time was the question. How much time will pass before they reach the wares. They worry about the safety of their vampires is all." Danielle told Bleathvore 1.

Satisfied, 1 began to walk again. "As they should be. The shinny-headed one *bit* one of us. If they continue to be nasty they will have their heads cut off. It is our way. But it is of no matter. I have produced buyers. I will win, be the vampires headless or not."

"It's all good." Danielle told the others.

Cordelia rubbed her hand over her leather-clad arm. "You know, I'm really starting to *love* this coat. How much do you suppose it'd cost to get it altered to fit me?"

"We're trading the coats for Angel and Spike, Cordielia." Wesley reminded her.

"Oh, right." She frowned, walking in silence. Her face brightened. "But Angel has *lots* more coats, huh?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

". . . not only do I *know* of it, I *composed* it!" Spike finished the joke.

All Bleathvores: Laughter.

Bleathvore 3: "Truly amusing. I will keep you, vampire, should my brother fail to find a buyer or trade for you. Your mate, however, is boring. Him I will have to kill."

Spike puffed at his cigar and looked at his cards. "Yes. I am displeased to agree, but kill him if you must."

"Spike?" Angel asked. He was leaning against the make-shift back rest, eyes closed, arms crossed over his chest. And the boredom was getting to him. *Killing* him. *Him*. Angel had always prided himself on his ability to be calm. Just be. But with Spike and the Bleathvores having so much fucking *fun* while he dozed and lay about on the stinking rot of the floor, the boredom was eating away at him. No *wonder* Spike wanted to always be killing and moving. This *sucked*.

"What?"

"What are you saying to them?"

"Just agreeing with them, mate. Keeping them happy. Oh, and, if they don't find a buyer? *I* get saved. You? They don't like you, Sire. You're a gonner, Peaches. It'll be heads off for you, luv."

"What of my baby?" Angel rubbed his flat belly.

"Ha ha. Still sucking at the funny bone, eh? Nice try, mate. But they don't know what yer saying. You are gonna have to die." Spike snickered, not overly concerned with his Sire's potential headlessness. He lay down two cards, motioning for replacements. He has a possible flush.

Angel moved closer to Spike and licked his ear. Spike slaped at him, ducking his head. "Stop that! I'm busy."

Angel moves his mouth to Spike's neck, licking and sucking and *biting*.

"What is it with you? You've turned into a bloody rapist! You know what the problem is don't you?"

Angel moves his head into Spike's lap and reaches his hand up to begin undoing the buttons of Spike's shirt. "What's my problem, boy?" He smiles up at this childe, enjoying the annoyed look on his face.

"Celibacy! It's not *right*! Curse, yes, and all that! Problem is you can still *fuck*! You *need* to fuck the ex-watcher and the cheerleader! Bet those two could get you off!"

Bleathvore"Yo"You and your mate are going to engage in sexual intercourse, now? Breeding? We do not mind. We will watch."

Spike slapped at Angel's hand. "No we are *not*. My mate is mentally unbalanced. Slow." Spike tells them. He pinches Angel's cheek. Hard. "Cut it out!"

Bleathvore 2: "This is terrible for you! He is not balanced *and* he causes you great discomfort. It is better that we cut off his head. We have a weapon that will take is head off with one blow. Itwondwonderful. Very good. You may use it."

Angel is nuzzling at Spike's groin now. And Spike is, of course, getting hard. And that pisses him off. "One blow you say?" Angel is pulling down his zipper with his teeth now. His fucking cock is hard as a rock and looking forward to whatever it is Angel has planned for it.

Spike smiles at the Bleathvores. "Why don't you bring it to me? The weapon."

Bleathvore 3: "We would like to see you mate once again. It was most entertaining. Scary and good. We like that. Mate once more before your mate is killed. For us?"

Angel has his cock out and is licking at it. Fine.

"Yes. One more mating and then we kill him."

Bleathvore 2: "This is good and acc-"

And then the Bleathvores are gone.

Vanished.

Spike can't see them anymore.

He pushes Angel's head away from his cock. "Where'd the fuck they go?" He sits up on his knees, zipping his pants up, looking around.

No Bleathvores.

"Guys?" His hand grabs a bar.

ZAP!

"Fuck! Shit! Come *on* guys. This shit isn't funny! Where'd ya run off too?"

Angel sits up and *listens*. "Shh. Listen."

"Like bloody fucking great big cockroaches running off when a light comes on.
\
"Yes. Don't you hear it? Something is coming."

"Yeah. I hear it. Something is coming and these blokes have left me here. And they didn't even cut off your head, first. Bastards."

"Spike?"

"*What*?"

"You were going to let them cut off my head?"

"Hell, *yes*, I was, Sire! I was bloody well looking *forward* to it! Punks! Poufs!"