Fisi Mtima

Chapter Summary: The soul is a journey, one that you can not take alone.

Notes: there are hints of the episode "Lies My Parents Told Me" from Buffy Season 7 in this. not to worry, no spoilers, just a slight scene set up. Also, the poem in this chapter is of my own horrid creation. Cast it to the flames, please. It stinks. (of course it was meant to)


.Chapter Thirteen.

"Xander!" Tara exclaimed, opening her door. She peered past Xander's shoulder at the pale blonde who hovered behind him. "And Spike. What can I do for you? Willow's not here."

"Well, that's makes things a lot easier." Xander sighed. "Can we come in?"

"Sure." Tara held open the door, allowing Xander to enter. Spike gave her a pointed look, remaining just outside. "Oh, sorry. Come in, Spike."

"Look, I'll just get straight to the point." Spike immediately said when the door was shut. Tara crossed her arms nervously. "I need you to do me a favor."

"W-what sort of favor?" Tara asked.

"Went and saw me a doctor in L.A." Spike said, looking over at Xander. "Told me an interesting story about a soul and a hyena. Something about a bonding. Know what I'm talking about, pet?"

"Bonding?" Tara frowned slightly before a look of recognition appeared. "Oh! You mean between... Both of you?"

"That's right." Spike smiled. "Knew you were a smart one."

"So... What do you need me to do?" Tara questioned, sitting next to Xander on the bed.

"Just a spell." Spike replied. "Something to bring the spark back."

"What Spike is slowly getting at is he wants you to do a spell to give him his soul." Xander announced. "Well, finish his soul... Er, put it back together? I don't know how to phrase it exactly, but Spike has parts of his soul. They are there, only not whole. He wants you to make his soul whole."

"Like the curse?" Tara had already developed the thoughtful look she got when thinking of magic.

"No, I want to be able to shag, thanks." Spike told her. Tara blushed lightly at his words. "'Sides, pet, you don't have enough anger in you to curse me."

"You'd be surprised, Spike." Tara replied, giving him a slight smile, before clearing her throat. "Are you sure you don't want Willow to do this?"

"Spike doesn't trust her." Xander said bluntly. "If Spike doesn't want Willow doing it, then she won't. He wants you."

"Oh. Okay." Tara took a deep breath. "Willow still has the supplies for Angel, but if you don't want it to be a curse then maybe we should do this another way."

"What do you mean?" Spike asked, watching as the blonde witch began pulling a stack of books off her bookshelf.

"If you already have fragments of your soul, then maybe we can do a spell to unite them." Tara looked over at Xander. "Sort of how we united the hyena with you. This will be much more difficult, however. With you we were uniting two halves that were present. If Spike's soul is stuck in another time and space, like heaven, then it will take a lot more power."

"Do whatever you must." Xander said. "We'll give you whatever you need."

"I'm going to have to research this." Tara informed them. "It may take me a while, but I don't want to screw it up. If I could get Will-"

"No." Spike interrupted. "I don't want anyone else knowing. We'll tell the Watcher, since he's already involved, but no one else. Not until we know it's going to work. Got it?"

"Yeah. Got it." Tara nodded.

Giles turned out to be oddly supportive. If it wasn't for the Spike having a soul, and therefore becoming a good guy aspect, Xander would have thought the Watcher was up to something. Still, it was nice to have someone back them up, even with all the stammering and scrubbing of lenses. Xander suspected the Watcher was embarrassed by Spike sudden insistence at crawling into Xander's lap and humping him.

Xander couldn't explain for the life of him what had gotten into his vampire. For someone who fought their relationship for so long, he sure did enjoy physical contact. It wasn't even sexual most of the time. The vampire used any excuse to cuddle up to him. Tara insisted it was adorable and no one would be offended. But Xander knew better.

One week later and things were going wonderfully. Xander and Spike's relationship had taken on a whole new meaning. Spike had definitely gotten over his fears. Xander was ecstatic to have his mate constantly at his side. The only thing to ruin it was the time they spent with the Scoobies. Riley had taken it upon himself to come to the meetings more often, much to Xander's displeasure. While his hateful opinion of the soldier had lessened considerably, he still didn't trust him. Especially when he kept slipping up and calling Spike 'Hostile 17'.

It was a Sunday, with no cloud in the sky and no impending doom. Tara called him at noon, interrupting one of his and Spike's moments of sexual frenzy. The excited witch spoke more in that single phone call than he had ever heard her speak. Apparently they were to come to the Magic Box's training room after dusk. Xander grunted a reply, hung up the phone, and went back to making Spike yowl like a cat.

There were already two occupants in the room when Xander and Spike arrived. Tara was busy painting a pale blue pentacle on the floor, while Giles was setting up candles around the room. Xander could already feel the tingle of magic in the room. He senses immediately went on guard, despite there being no general danger.

Spike entered behind him, took one long glance at the room, and sat down in the corner. He looked for all the world like someone about to get laid, but Xander knew better. Spike had made a point to be near him ever since the phone call. Even now he was discreetly holding onto the tail of Xander's coat as the nearly human stood next to him. Spike never liked magic, and he hated it even more when he was on the receiving end.

"Okay, g-guys?" Tara cleared her throat nervously. "Everything is prepared. Umm, I thought I would go over the spell with you before we begin. It's actually rather simple. You'll sit inside the pentacle on the floor, holding hands. Spike needs someone as his guide during the spell, so I figured Xander would probably do that. Now, the spell itself will take you to the Higher Plane, a place that your soul resides. Hopefully, you'll be able to retrieve the rest of Spike's soul and return to this plane of existence. Any questions?"

"What happens if we can't find his soul?" Xander asked.

"I wouldn't really worry about that." Tara replied. "His soul will feel a strange attraction towards you. Most likely you won't even have to search, it will come to you."

"Let's get this over with." Spike interrupted. Following Tara's directions, they placed themselves in the circles. Tara began muttering and Giles chanted. Spike's wide blue eyes stared across to Xander, looking scared but defiant. Xander gave him a small smile for comfort.

Then everything turned white.

It took a moment for Xander's eyes to adjust. He stood in what he assumed was a large white room. He couldn't be certain, as the area gave off the feeling of having no walls or a ceiling. The floor felt stable, however. Reaching out, Xander made to grab Spike's hand. When his fingers enclosed on air, Xander's head whipped around. There was no one there. Breathing deeply, Xander could find no scent in the room. It was as though he was the only one there.

A sound to his right caught his attention. A dark shadow slowly appeared. It stalked low to the ground, on all fours. It's back was oddly shaped. Narrowing his eyes, Xander held back a gasp as the shadow turned into a fully grown female hyena. Xander felt himself panic, wanting to back away from the large beast that was staring him down. The familiar laugh of a hyena filled the air as the hyena's jaws snapped once.

"Don't let her bother you, soldier." A gruff voice said behind him. Spinning, Xander came face to face with himself. The other Xander was dressed in military garb, with a hard looking face and a single scar down one cheek.

"Who are you?" Xander asked. He took a step back, but stopped when he heard the hyena growl.

"The best answer to that, soldier, would be you. The same goes for her." The man gave him a wolfish grin. "We are the hidden parts of your mind, in a sense. Well, sort of hidden."

"What is that suppose to mean? Where is Spike?"

"The vampire is fine, for now." The soldier told him. "You will catch up to him soon. Now, let's get started."

"Started?" Xander asked, frowning. His senses were feeling off, as though he was once again without the hyena. Blinking, Xander glanced back at the large animal. She paced behind him, still staring. "Get what started?"

"You came for a union. It's what you will get." The soldier replied calmly. He suddenly reached out, grabbing Xander by the shoulders and dragging him forward. "Don't fear us. We are you."

Before Xander could reply the hyena let out a yelp of excitement. Xander felt something hard hit him from behind, clawed paws digging into his shoulder blades. Falling forward, he collided with the soldier. Feeling their weight drag him down, Xander closed his eyes and waited. The expecting feel of the tearing of his own flesh by that of the hyena never happened. In fact, the weight on his back was gone, as was the feel of a body beneath him.

Slowly standing, Xander searched the space around him for any sign of the other two beings. When none appeared, he shook his head. "Weird."

His mutter was answered by a loud roar. Immediately his brain chose three paths to take. One, which he recognized vaguely as the soldier, told him to investigate. The second, which was the hyena, told him to find and protect his mate. The third was the plain, human Xander. It told him to run away.

All three choices were taken away from him the moment he heard the scream. It was his own name, yelled loud and clear by a terrified voice. Xander knew who it was the moment it reached his ears. Immediately he ran, trying to focus on where the cry had originated. The vast white space seemed to last forever. There was no end, and no beginning. No ceilings. No walls. Xander could feel his breath shorten, his body sweat. He seemed to be running for eternity, and yet he never once moved.

Until a small pinpoint of color appeared in front of him. It grew as he rushed toward it. The bright color of bronze, with a small pinprick of candlelight. The circle grew, until the white world was no more. Instead, Xander stood in a flame lit room fashioned for the 1800s. There was a sense of familiarity with the room. Xander's senses suddenly rushed around him. He could smell the oil used on the lamps. A soft British voice spoke in terrible, and yet emotional, rhyme. The gentle swish of a woman's skirts. The tinkle of laughter, soothing and motherly.

Xander took another step forward and a sofa appeared in the corner of the room. Sitting on the sofa was an elderly woman, the soft scent of sickness wafting from her form. She gazed upward with a smile, her blue eyes reminding Xander of the man standing before her. Xander fought the desire to dart toward the figure of Spike, but he restrained himself. This wasn't Spike. The cultured voice, the lack of a slouch, the gentle smile, and the historical clothing.

This was William.

Xander felt a part of him become confused. This person smelt like Spike. This was his mate. And yet he wasn't. He could only push back his instincts and listen to William speak.

"I've cast away such dreams as this.
Never knowing what I would miss.
Broken hearts lay upon the ground,
Placed by her hand as she uttered not a sound.
Behold the light!
Glittering into my night.
It is a savior for me.
There is no one as handsome as he.
His named will forever cause wonder,
For he is my love, my Alexander."

"Oh, lovely darling." William's mother exclaimed softly, his delicate hands clapping gracefully. Xander watched as William sat down on the sofa, his eyes wide with shock. "Tell me, love. Where did you see this Alexander you speak of so highly?"

"It is strange, mother." William replied. "But I had a dream. I was not aware the dead could dream, but it must have been in my dreams. I've been seeing things of the monster I became. It is almost as though I am there. So strange, yet so familiar."

"I think we have been here too long, my son. You speak such fantasies." His mother chuckled.

"Perhaps I do, but it's so peculiar, mother." William sighed and rested his head on his mother's shoulder. "These images and feelings are so real. I wish ever so much that I had not given into that woman's siren song. Then perhaps I would of been able to truly feel love. I think that if I had experienced love, this is what it would feel like."

"What ever helps, love. It is a long eternity that awaits us." Was the reply.

"Do you feel that?" William suddenly asked, standing up. His eyes darted around the room, before turning to look in Xander's direction. "There is something coming. If feels... So familiar."

"I'll take this moment to assume you can't see me?" Xander offered up when William appeared to stare right past him. William slowly walked forward, stopping when came to about a foot worth of distance. Raising a hand, he held it an inch above Xander's chest, a confused look on his face.

"It's warm." William commented.

"Shit! I leave you alone for five minutes and you're already flirting with the other me?" Spike's voice asked, suddenly appearing next to him. Xander made a move to reply, but William's reaction to Spike's appearance was more interesting by far. The young British spirit looked like he was going to have a heart attack. He was staring at the spot Spike stood with wide, scared eyes.

"He's here." William hissed. "He's here. I can feel him. God, he's everywhere."

"Oh great." Spike sighed. Xander finally looked over at him, blinking at the small bruise forming on Spike's cheek. "I had a run in with what appeared to be my demon. He had a few things to say, is all. But don't worry, I think he has more respect for you now." Spike turned back to the panicking William. "Did I really look that poncy?"

"I think you look sweet." Xander replied.

"You would." Spike snorted. "So, how do we do this?"

"Well, we have the chant Tara gave us, right? I suggest you tackle poet boy to the ground and we get home." Xander said.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Spike grinned. With a small chuckle, Spike leapt on top of his human self. William immediately began to scream, his voice high pitched and piercing as he batted at the invisible being that was latched onto him. The words to the chant came easily to Xander, though he'll never be able to understand how he managed to speak the complex words while watching William and Spike roll around on the ground.

The sight was oddly erotic.

"Spike?" A soft female voice asked. Xander blinked slowly. He could feel the floor below him. Candles surrounded the room. Yet, everything seemed blurry. In the fogged area of his mind, he could hear a whimper. Tara's voice cut further into his brain, almost going as far as clearing his vision. "Oh, Goddess, Mr. Giles! We have to stop him from hurting himself."

Xander struggled to his hands and knees. Carefully, he crawled his way over to Spike. Everything remained blurry, nearly impossible to see, but he could feel Spike. The vampire was pressed against the nearest wall, a distressed noise echoing from his throat. Xander forced himself closer, until he was able to slide his arms around the shivering form. Pressing his face into Spike's bleached hair, Xander allowed himself the time to learn to breathe properly and see before inspecting his mate.

Spike fidgeted in his arms, his hands like claws. Grabbing a hold of his wrists, Xander pulled Spike's hands away before they could go back to scratching at his arms. The slight scent of blood immediately wafted up into Xander's nose from where Spike had already cut into the skin. Taking a deep, calming breath, Xander began to whisper in Spike's ear.

"Shhh, Spike." Xander felt Spike still in his arms. "It's okay, Spike. You're okay now. You're fine. Shh, I won't let anything happen to you. My mate."

"A-Alexander?" An extremely cultured voice asked. Xander blinked away the last of his blurry vision and pulled back far enough to look into Spike's face. Spike looked up at him with a very confused expression. His blue eyes were wide. His mouth was parted enough to allow shallow gasps to escape. "Oh, God... This hardly feels like a dream."

"S-spike?" Xander gulped, then shook his head slightly. "You're William, aren't you?"


end note: this was suppose to be the beginning of the end. but, nope, i had to add a plot twist to the end of this. >_<