Healing

Part 14

Xander dragged himself out of bed just after one o'clock that afternoon. He had to work the next day and would need to be able to sleep that night so he forced himself to get up and leave the comfortable embrace of his vampire. It wasn't easy. All he wanted to do was stay in bed wrapped around Spike for eternity, maybe kiss him some more as well. But the reality was that he had a job to do and friends to see and books to buy. He hadn't forgotten about his idea to deactivate Spike's chip.

Xander got dressed, grabbed his wallet and keys and left a note for Spike on the fridge before heading out to the bookstore. He'd grab coffee and a do-nut on the way.

When he got to the bookstore he was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of books on the subject. He wished he had Willow's knowledge of computers, then again he wouldn't be here if he did. The thought that between the magic and her knowledge of computers, Willow had probably been capable of fixing Spike all along made Xander angry. Spike wouldn't have been hurt if he was able to defend himself.

Xander took a few minutes to calm himself and think rationally. If Willow had fried Spike's chip when he first came to them he would still be an essentially evil blood crazed demon, not the vampire he had fallen in love with. Plus, he wouldn't have had the chance to get to know him and fall for him. Spike had been helping them for over two years now, he'd proven himself time and again to be worthy of their compassion and help. Then again, Angel could have probably gotten him help as well and chose not to. Spike didn't seem to have anyone who cared about him enough to help him. Not until now anyway.

Xander spent a few minutes looking at the books before giving up and going to find an employee of the book store. He left a half hour later with ten different books, ranging from computer repair to 'An Idiots Guide to Electronics' he hadn't read this much in high school! But if it helped him find a way to fix Spike then it was worth it.

The drive home took less that ten minutes and he was soon standing in his living room with an armload of books and nowhere to put them. He didn't want Spike to see them, to figure out what he was up to, until he was sure he could do it. There was no point in getting his hopes up was there?

Eventually, Xander decided to store them in the cupboard above the fridge. He never used it anyway. Having done that he went to his bedroom and stood in the doorway watching Spike sleep. He was tempted to undress and lay back down with him. After a few minutes he gave into his temptation.

Xander couldn't remember ever feeling this way for anyone before. Yeah, he'd been in love before, Ampata, Nicky, Anya, but not like this. This was different, more, consuming. He was head over heels in love with a soulless demon, a vampire, William the Bloody - Spike, and he'd never been happier. Spike snuggled deeper into him and Xander sighed in contentment. Life was good sometimes.

The next two weeks went by in a blur, Xander and Spike's relationship still consisted of just kissing and touching - above the waist, patrols had been nothing special, and Xander had worked his way through all the relevant information the books had to offer. He had a plan, and a back up plan. It was now just a matter of testing them out. Hopefully Spike would submit to the tests, he knew how sensitive the vampire was about being experimented on. He just had to wait until the time was right.

It was Friday, no work for the next two days and Xander was wondering if he could get away with spending the weekend in bed with his vampire. He didn't like idea of calling Spike his boyfriend. First of all Spike was over a hundred years old - so not a boy, secondly he was so much more than that. Lover would have been his preference but they weren't yet. To say 'Spike is my lover' sounded so much better - not to mention more mature than 'Spike is my boyfriend' and eventually he would have to tell people. He didn't want to keep his relationship with Spike a secret. He was not ashamed of him.

Stepping inside the apartment he was greeted by the sight of a sleep-rumpled Spike blearily making his way to the kitchen rubbing his eyes like a child. Cute didn't even begin to describe it.

Xander stood by the door and watched as Spike methodically made his way around the kitchen, coffee started, blood in the microwave, hike up the boxers that were hanging too low for decency. It was getting harder and harder to keep his hands above Spike's waist when they made out. He wanted to take Spike to bed so badly, but he promised patience, so patience it was. He'd never been so clean in his life for all the showers he'd been taking.

Spike looked up and saw Xander watching him, he knew he was there the whole time but was too sleepy and focused on his tasks to really pay attention. It was one of the nice things about living with Xander, he didn't have to be on guard 24/7, he was safe here. Spike loved the way Xander looked after work. He was all sweaty and hot from a long day in the sun, the tight t-shirt and jeans fit him like a glove and the hard hat and tool belt reminded him of the picture he'd seen from Xander’s days as a dancer. Gods he wanted that man. But he told Xander he needed time, and Xander was giving it to him. Maybe too much time though? Spike was ready for a bit more contact than just kissing and touching. He wanted more, but was unsure how to ask for it.

"I'm gonna go shower, can you call for pizza?"

"Sure pet. You want anything else?"

"Nah, just pizza is good. Back in a few."

Spike called in the food order and got dressed while Xander showered. They had to see the Scoobies that night for the weekly meeting and then patrol. After that though, Spike planned on getting his hands on his... Xander. He wasn't sure exactly what they were either. Normally, a vamp who took a human companion would consider them a pet, or a toy. Xander was neither of those things. But what was he then? Surely not his boyfriend, even the word sounded wrong, childish. He was over a century old and a demon, he did not have a boyfriend. He hadn't claimed Xander therefore he was not his mate either. He had shagged him though, so in human terms that made them lovers at least. It sounded better than anything else he could come up with. Lover it was.

By the time the pizza got there Xander was clean and dressed and hungry as hell. He dove into the food while Spike grinned at him in amusement.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"That's not a nothing face, that's a something face."

"I just like watching you eat, pet."

"Okay, some weird vampire thing?"

"Nah, just never seen anyone attack a pizza like it was gonna get away from them before. I thought only vampires had the problem of their meals running away on them."

"Very funny, see me laughing?"

"Sarcasm pet?"

"Yes, now have some pizza and shut up."

Spike laughed, but did as he was told, picking up a slice of pizza and dipping it in his blood before eating it. Xander didn't even make the accompanying eeeww sounds. He'd gotten used to seeing it and it didn't bother him anymore.

After dinner they walked over the shop to meet up with the gang. None of them knew that Spike had moved into Xander’s apartment and they wanted to keep it that way. For now at least, they weren't ready to come out about their relationship and the reasons behind how it started were no ones business but their own. Unfortunately fate had other ideas. As soon as they stepped inside the shop Buffy was in Spike's face.

"Where the hell have you been? I went to your crypt today and you weren't there, the place was empty."

"I uh, I... Moved."

"Where to? And why didn't you tell us?"

"Maybe cause I'm sick and tired of being walked in on? Maybe because I'd like a little privacy? I need an invitation to enter any of your homes, but you lot just bust into mine with out so much a knock on the door! That answer your questions?"

Xander couldn't help but smile. It was nice to see Buffy look chagrined. Spike was right, they never had any respect for his privacy.

"Well, where are you living now? What if we need information? How can we find you?"

"You can't. I'll keep in touch."

Xander saw Buffy get a calculated look in her eye. He knew trouble was coming.

"What about Dawn? She's been worried about you, you know."

Low blow for the Buffster. She knew how much Dawn meant to Spike. She also knew that he wouldn't keep his whereabouts from her.

"Nice try slayer. Lil' bit knows where I'm staying. Told her, I did."

Xander caught Spike's eye and he raised an eyebrow in question. Spike gave him a terse nod. Okay, so Dawn knew they were living together, was that all she knew? Xander made a mental point to ask Spike about that later when they were alone.

Buffy looked furious. Dawn knew Spike had moved and didn’t say anything! She knew where he was staying and no one else did, except perhaps Xander. She thought about it for a minute and realized that every time she'd seen Spike in the past month or so he'd been with Xander.

"And I suppose you know where he staying as well Xander?"

Xander swallowed and looked at Spike. Spike shrugged his shoulders and gave Xander a look that clearly said 'your call'. Xander cleared his throat, glanced at Giles who looked as though he'd already figured it out and sighed.

"Yes Buffy, I know where Spike is staying."

Buffy looked at Xander expectantly and when he didn't offer anymore information she practically growled.

"Well?"

"Well what? If Spike didn't tell you what the makes you think I'm going to?"

"Because... I'm the slayer! And I need to know things!"

Spike snorted and Xander bit his lip to keep from commenting on true that statement was.

"Look, Buff if you need to get a hold of Spike just call me or ask Dawn. One of us will get the message to him."

"Xander! What the hell's the matter with you? Since when do you stick up for Spike?"

"Since now I guess. Every one deserves to have some privacy, Buffy."

"Not demons! Spike has no rights to anything, let alone privacy. We feed him and pay him, therefore we own him."

Xander had had enough, he was across the room and in Buffy’s face before she could blink.

"No. You don't. Think Buffy, when was the last time you paid Spike for information? When was the last time any of you bought blood for him, hmm? You do not own him. No one owns him. And if you speak to him like that again... Well you can just see how good a slayer you are with two less people around to help you. Matter of fact, you can start tonight, I'm done."

Xander spun on his heel and headed for the door. He stopped and turned back to look at his oldest friend.

"Wills, I'm sorry about that. I let my temper get the better of me."

"It's okay Xander, I think I understand."

Willow had always told Xander he was a better person than his father and he could learn to control his temper and not lash out at people. She had been his biggest supporter during the worst times of his life. And though she had no idea about the rapes, she knew that Xander’s father had beat him on more than a few occasions. What had just happened with Buffy was the worse he'd let his temper slip - other than that night in the park - in a very long time.

"Spike? I'm leaving, wanna come?"

"Sure pet, why not."

They walked in silence for a couple of blocks before Xander calmed enough to speak. He pulled Spike into an alley and leaned against the wall, eyes closed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what, luv?"

"For letting my temper get the best of me. For acting all possessive of you, I've no right to do that. I meant what I said Spike, no one owns you."

Spike smiled and leaned into Xander, wrapping his arms around him.

"Thank you. No one has ever told me I was my own man before. As a human I was what my father told me to be. The only thing I ever did for myself was write. I became an accountant because that's what I was told to be, trained to run the family business. After I was turned, well, I belonged to my Sire, she owned me. As did Angelus as her Sire and Darla as his. I've never just been my own before."

Xander hugged Spike to him and lifted his face up. He kissed him softly on the lips and then pushed off the wall.

"You wanna go home? Watch some TV and cuddle on the couch?"

Spike grabbed his arm and began pulling him out of the alley.

"Sounds like a bloody marvellous idea. Lets go."