Choices

Just want to give another heads up to anyone reading this hoping it will be strictly a Spuffy pairing. It won't be. It will work itself to a B/A/S pairing just as promised. That being done, happy reading! :) Chapter Thirteen

She entered the apartment and met with the sound of the TV, and the pounding of keys. She strolled into the living room to see Angel working on the laptop and Spike flicking through channels.

"Hey guys," she greeted them lightly and sat down next to Angel. She didn't miss the look on Spike's face at that. He was hurt. What did he expect? For her to come over and sit on his lap right in front of Angel?

Angel looked up from the laptop. "So, tell me," he asked, a big smile on his face. "How'd it go?"

He looked so cute at that moment, all excited, that she felt a wave of protectiveness come over her along with a side of guilt. How could she keep it from him? On the other hand, how could she tell him? Oh tanglangled web we weave...

"It was great! I had a lot of fun. Richard is a nut. I know my mom just thought he was the best. We got a lot done. We got some pieces up and I made some phone calls to set up appointments for you tonight. Go me."

Angel leaned over and gave her a hug and a peck on the forehead. "Good job, Princess."

Spike's jaw was clenchishe she was watching him out of the corner of her eye. Had he ever done that before when her and Angel would show affection for each other? Well that was just ridiculous and just proved her stance even more.

"Once the sun goes down, I'll be heading over. Will Richard be there?"

Buffy nodded and sat back. Richard was the only one aside from her mom and herself that knew of Angel and Spike. He'd taken to it like a duck to water, so they knew he wouldn't be a problem.

\m jum just going to check some things in the study," and he got up, leaving Spike and Buffy alone.

She stared at the TV and she knew he was staring at her. She could feel it. Not being able to take it any longer, she jumped up and went to the kitchen to make herself something to eat. Her stomach was growling and the distraction would be welcome.

She was applying mayo to her bread when she felt Spike's breath on her neck, and his hands gliding up her arms ever so lightly. She could not stop her body's reaction to his touch. It was turning to mush. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to tense every part of her body.

"I can smell that you like it, Buffy," he whispered against her ear.

She spun around and hit him on the chest. "Angel!" She mouthed to him, gesturing.

"He's lost in his own world right now. Kiss me."

Her eyes widened. "What did I tell you about drinking in the morning?"

He chuckled and backed up a bit. "All right. I'll lay off. Remember, we have to talk."

"I know," she said looking at the floor.

He tilted up her chin, studying her. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what you're going to say to me?"

"Intuition?"

He dropped his hand and shook his head. "Pet, don't do this. Don't stop before we even get started."

"There is nothing to start."

He looked at her skeptically. "I know a lot more than you think I do."

"Except when to shut up. Not really good on boundaries either. And you really have issues on keeping your inner monologue, inner."

"Get the point there, luv. Do you not remember anything I told you last night?"

"I--I remember."

"What did I tell you?"

"That you um...have feelings for me."

He shook his head slowly. "I love you Buffy. Not in a brotherly way either."

"We can't do this right now, okay?"

He nodded, walking away, holding his hands up in surrender. "Later, then."

She just wanted to get this over with. When the hell was the bloody sun going to go down?

*********

As soon as the door closed behind Angel, Buffy knew it was showtime. She wondered however, how long she could stay locked in her room before he'd come for her. On the other hand, being in her bedroom would most likely give him ideas. She knew him all too well. She jumped up from her bed and swung open the door, ready to confront the man--who was right in front of her. He was relaxing against the wall, a smirk on his face.

"Was wondering how long it would take before you'd come out. You surprised me. I was giving you at least fifteen minutes before I had to coerce you out of there."

She couldn't stop herself from letting out a small laugh. "You're unbelievable."

"Thanks, pet." He said standing up straight, smirk in place.

She breezed past him. "Doesn't mean that's a good thing, Spike."

He grabbed her arm and brought her closer to him. "Can I get my kiss now?"

"That's not talking."

"Sure it is."

"How?"

"Well," he began as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear, "it involves our lips. Sometimes our tongues." For emphasis he tucked his tongue behind his front teeth and grinned.

She tried to move away from his grasp, but he pulled her closer against him. "I wasn't done with the lesson yet, pet."

She was having a hard time thinking, which she knew was his plan. She had wanted to actually talk and he was just making her...feel. His proximity, the deep timbre to his voice, his eyes dark with passion, his fingers on her skin--she knew he could smell how aroused she was despite her trying to fight it.

She bit her bottom lip and looked down. Don't look at the sexy vampire. Don't look at Sexy Spike. Just look away from him. Get control of yourself Buffy!

"Then there's what different kisses say." He made her look up at him and she found herself getting lost in his blue orbs. "They have a language all their own. Did you know that Buffy?"

She shook her head, not able to look away now.

"Allow me to demonstrate. This," he kissed her gently, quickly and pulled away. Her eyes instinctively closed and she fought the whimper that wanted to escape from his lips leaving hers. "Can say hello. This," this time he kissed her a bit longer, teasing her with his tongue across her lips. "Can be an invitation. And this," this time he nibbled on her bottom lip a bit before covering her mouth with his. Sweeping his tongue across her lips, encouraging them to open, she did so instinctually. His tongue traced the cavern of her mouth, and danced with her own. He tilted her head to the side, to deepen it and she found herself weaving her arms around his neck not only to be closer to him, but to stop herself from falling to the floor in a puddle of mush. He took that opportunity to press her flush against him, so that she was on her tips of her toes. He combed his fingers through her hair and broke the kiss. She was panting for air. He rested his forehead against hers and smiled lovingly at her.

"What did that say?" She prompted him, breathlessly.

"It said I love you more than anything in this world, I want you and please give me a chance. Give us a chance."

Reality crept slowly in. Being in Spike's arms at that moment was easy. The whole world was swept away and it was just them. Reality however dictated there was more than just the two of them.

She unwound her arms and took a step back. "You tricked me."

"I didn't do anything you didn't want me to do. You could have stopped me at any time. I know you feel something for me, Buffy, and it's more than just friendship, more than just brotherly love, more than me being your protector."

"Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"Tell me I'm wrong."

"There's something you're forgetting, rather someone."

"Who? Xander?"

"Angel," she said as if he already should have known.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Knew you were going to bring that up."

"Well, as much as I'd love to spend some time in your world--"

"So you admit it!"

"The real world dictates that Angel is a factor. Plus the fact that even if something were to happen with us--"

"Something already has happened Buffy. I love you, you love me--"

"I have a crush on you."

He smirked, "fine. Have it your way. A 'crush'."

"What happens if it didn't work out? Then what? You leave."

"Never leave you kitten, don't you know that by now?"

"Those are your hormone's talking. You said it yourself, Spike. I'm innocent in the games of love and sex. What if you get tired of teaching me?"

"Wouldn't happen. That kissing lesson? That was incredibly fun, incredibly sexy. I like having you as my 'student.'"

"There's something wrong with that statement and I can't really put my finger on it. Okay, so, what happens when I'm in a relationship and I find that I like to take control and I don't take any of your crap--"

"Because you take it so well now," he said sarcastically.

She glared at him. "I'm being serious here, Spike! And don't think I didn't miss that look you gave me when Angel kissed me on the forehead. If you can't handle the innocent affection I share with Angel, then how can you expect to make this work?"

"Innocent, my ass!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that what you feel for Angel may be innocent, but what he feels for you is far from innocent."

Her mouth dropped. "That's not true and you know it! You have a jealous streak from here to the moon."

He pursed his lips together and clenched his jaw. "So, what is it you're telling me here exactly? That you want to be with me but you're afraid because of Angel and what might happen in the future?"

"In a nutshell, yes."

"Kitten, listen to me. You and I? We'd be great together. I've been with you since you were fifteen, Buffy. What makes you think I would leave you? I couldn't. Not because of Whistler, but because I love you Buffy--"

"But what happens if you ended up hating me? What happens if you hated me so much you left? I couldn't deal with that, Spike. I need you. I need you and I need Angel." Tears started to fall from her eyes and she furiously wiped them away and tried to gain back control.

"Come here, luv," Spike reached out and took her hand, pulling her to the couch with him. He sat down, settling her on his lap and wiped away her tears with the pads of his fingers. "Nothing is ever certain and I'm sure you feel that acutely right now. Things happen and it happens to good people. The way to deal with it though is not to hide yourself away in an ivory tower--although, if I could, I'd put you in one so you could only be with me--but, you have to live your life, Buffy. Cross the 'what if' when you get to it, but if you dwell on the 'what ifs' you'll miss out some amazing things this life has to offer. Do you know how proud I am of you right now?"

She sniffled and looked at him, "proud of me? For what?"

"You knew what was going on in that head of yours. You knew that you were depressed and what did you do? You went out and changed the way things were going. You made some friends, you enrolled in school and you're working. This is just like anything else Buffy. Jump in, don't waffle on the details, just leap. I'll be right there to catch you. I'll catch you every time. When have I ever not been there to catch you?"

"Never," she whispered.

"As far as Angel is concd, wd, we'll have to eventually tell him."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he kissed her to stop her. "We don't have to tell him anything right now. We can tell him when you feel comfortable about it. Until then, it will be just us. Our special time. What do you say, kitten? Give us a chance?"

She answered him by cupping his face in her hands and kissing him sweetly. She pulled back and observed his hopeful eyes. "That meant, yes." She told him simply.

"That's my girl."

TBC.....