Father of the Brat

Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with Buffy. It all belongs to Joss Whedon. I just borrow it. I'm not making any money from this, it's purely for fun.


“What are you wearing?”

Buffy pulled the phone away from her ear and gave it an incredulous look. Hadn’t they done this one already? She shook her head before lifting it back to her ear.

“Spike?”

“Yeah. What are you wearing, Buffy?” he repeated. She could practically hear him smirking. She let out a sigh.

“Spike, what do you want?” she asked.

“To know what you’re wearing. Wasn’t it obvious?” She rolled her eyes before glancing down at what she was really wearing. Hmm...she supposed flannel pajama pants and a baggy long-sleeved shirt wasn’t really what he wanted to hear. She paused as she considered it. So, he wanted to play a game again? She’d be a willing player this time. The smile that crossed her face was slow and just a tad mischievous.

“You really want to know?” she asked him, keeping her voice innocent.

“Yeah, I really want to know.”

Her grin widened. He’d asked for it. “A lacy, see-through red teddy and matching stiletto heels,” she told him.

Spike’s eyes widened at her words and the image they produced. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. The woman was trying to kill him. It was some kind of torture that she had devised.

And it was working.

Just why he should be tortured, he wasn’t sure. After all, the whole reason he was calling was for her benefit. He figured if he distracted her enough, she wouldn’t stress out so much and then he wouldn’t worry about her.

Okay, so if you included that last part and the fact that she was now actually giving as good as she got, then maybe this was for him too. A little.

Well then, it was time to get back in the game. He grinned slowly as leaned back in his seat and stretched out his legs.

“Oh yeah?” he asked in a low voice. “You wearing anything else, pet?”

“A smile.” Spike smiled when he heard that response. Oh yeah. She was definitely playing the game this time.

“And all for me. I’m flattered.”

“Who said it was for you?” she asked. Spike raised an eyebrow at that.

“Who else would it be for?” he replied, wanting to know how she would reply to that one.

“Gee, I don’t know. Someone that I’m sleeping with maybe. Someone that’s not you.” Buffy paused, thinking briefly before latching onto a name. “Someone like Scott.”

Spike snorted lightly. “Scott, eh? Right, love. And just what do you and Scott do together?” Buffy’s eyes narrowed in response to that remark. He didn’t think that there was even a chance that Scott even existed. She was almost tempted to have Spike stop by her office when Scott was there. Which would be anytime considering he was one of her co-workers. Well, she’d show him.

“Things you can’t even spell, Spike.”

Spike’s eyebrow went a little higher at that and he smirked. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Suddenly Buffy was hit by inspiration when she remembered something a college friend of hers had once said to a guy to torture him. And Spike definitely deserved some type of torture. “Now, Spike, do you know just what I do to him? I ride him at a gallop until his legs buckle and his eyes roll back. I’ve got muscles you’ve never dreamed of and I can squeeze him until he pops like warm champagne and begs me to hurt him just a little bit more. Has anyone ever done that for you?”

Spike was so turned on by the end of her speech that he wasn’t sure he could answer without giving that fact away. Finally, he spoke.

“No.” was about all he could manage.

Buffy smiled. Oh yeah. She may have never done this before and definitely never used that speech before, but she knew that he was going through the same hell she’d gone through before because of him. Thank you, Faith for that little speech. And while she felt a twinge of guilt, she shook it off. Turnabout was fair play.

“Don’t you wish I would?” she asked before hanging up. She let out a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she’d done that. Actually gone and said those things to him.

It felt kind of good.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike stared down at the phone in his hand for a few minutes in total shock and silence. Not to mention the fact that he was in serious need of a cold shower at the imagery she had produced. With him instead of this Scott bloke, of course.

And again, he found his voice as he thought of how she’d hung up without another word.

“Bitch.” he muttered, half-heartedly as he hung up the phone. "Even better...tease."

That shower was going to have to be very cold...and long.