Lost in the Dark, Cleansed in the Flame

Chapter 13 - Second Challenge

They held hands as they entered the second chamber. Trying to
discern what the next challenge would be, they had stopped at the
threshold and peeked in. The room was empty, just another cavern,
so they did the only thing they could. They stepped through the
archway.

The moment they had stepped over the threshold the chamber was
filled with noise, and Xander was abruptly yanked away from Spike
and flung across the room. Brushing dirt off his pants, Xander stood
up to take stock of the situation. His brow furrowed as he realized
that they'd somehow stepped into a party. Although it was a pretty
stuffy party from what he could tell, more like a Giles party, or what he
pictured a Giles party would be like, anyway.

There was what sounded like elevator music playing, and the people
around him all looked like they'd been left behind a century.
Everyone was laughing, talking, and drinking out of little tiny glasses.
Xander tried to peer around the people milling in the room to find
Spike, but he couldn't see the bleached blond anywhere. Laughter
echoed around him as he wove his way through the crowd.

"Cecily!"

Xander's head whipped around at the sound of that name. Cecily?
Spike's Cecily? He turned this way and that until he caught sight of a
girl surrounded by several besotted men. Fuck! This was Spike's
challenge? To relive that awful night?

And there, lost in the group of admirers, was Spike. Xander's hard
expression softened at the look on his lover's face. It was a mix of
awkward shyness and longing. It was the longing that made Xander's
own heart ache.

What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to help?

***

Even as he gazed at Cecily adoringly, Spike cringed inside. He knew
this was a challenge, he knew it wasn't real. But it felt real. He knew
what was coming. He had already tried to change the course of
events. He'd tried to walk away, to speak up, and to throw out that
bloody awful poem! But each time he'd attempted a change, a
difference, he hadn't been able to follow through.

He knew Xander was here somewhere. The second they'd been
separated as the party had appeared Spike had tried to find him, but
to no avail. All he saw were the same party-goers that had been
there a century before. He cursed inwardly while smiling and
answering each question with the proper response.

The slim piece of paper was ripped from his hand. He made a grab
for it, but of course was unable to reach it.

"Careful. The inks are still wet. Please, it's not finished." Spike found
himself repeating the same lines he'd used that night. To his horror
he could already feel the tears begin to burn his eyes. His gaze flitted
over the crowd, landing on Cecily, whose exprexpression was one of
shame and embarrassment.

"P-p l e a s e." The word was stilted and stuttered in a whisper. The
one word he'd been able to say so far that had not followed the script
exactly. It was a broken plea, not for the release of the ill-fated poem,
but for an end to this nightmarish rerun of his life. Thoughts of
Xander skittered through his brain. Where was he? Maybe he
wouldn't come. Maybe this wasn't a challenge. Maybe something
had happened and this was Spike's own little version of hell.

In the seconds he had before the poetry reading, Spike flashed back
to the actual night in question. The night he died. The night he was
reborn into his unlife. If he hadn't been humiliated and heartbroken,
would he have ended up here? Would he have ended up with
Xander? It was possible that Drusilla would have found him no
matter whether he had attended that party or not. He'd never know.

The highbrow Englishman's voice broke into his reverie. "Don't be
shy. My heart expands/'tis grown a bulge in it/inspired by your beauty,
effulgent. Effulgent?"

Spike felt his face twisting in hurt and a bit of anger as Cecily turned
to run away and the others laughed and mocked him. Even as his
gut churned and the ache intensified he went after her. He had no
choice.

***

Xander watched as Spike took off after Cecily. The expression on his
lover's face was more than enough to put his feet in motion. He
followed as quickly as he could, calling out to Spike both mentally and
verbally but receiving no answer.

He knew this scene, and his heart hurt for Spike already. He knew
what the burn of rejection felt like, and he knew that this was a pain in
Spike's life that he'd never been able to shed. A pain that had
followed him through the years and shaped him into the man he was
today.

Xander quickened his steps while he tried to figure out a way to free
Spike from this challenge. Somehow Xander knew that he only had
to reach Spike, to let him know he was there and that Spike wasn't
alone, for the challenge to end. But he was at a loss as to how to do
that, since he had been calling to him constantly with no results.

{Spike!} Xander mentally shouted through the link. {I'm here. I love
you.} He repeated over and over.

***

Something tickled in the back of William's head but he shrugged it off.
Cecily had retreated to a small corner of the parlor and he wanted to
go to her. To apologize and make things right between them. In a far
off haze William thought he was supposed to be remembering
something. An image of a dark haired, brown eyed man flashed
before him but was quickly lost.

"Cecily?" He smiled at her reassuringly.

"Oh. Leave me alone."

William's smile faltered briefly, but he took a seat anyway and
gestured toward the crowd. "Oh, they're vulgarians. They're not like
you and I."

"You and I? I'm going to ask you a very personal question and I
demand an honest answer. Do you understand?"

William nodded at her, trying to show her with his eyes that he'd give
her anything he could.

"Your poetry, it's... they're... not written about me, are they?"

"They're about how I feel," William answered shyly.

"Yes, but are they about me?"

"Every syllable." Now was the time to be bold, to let her know of his
true feelings for her.

"Oh, God!" Oh, Oh, I know... it's sudden and... please, if they're no good, they're only
words but... the feeling behind them... I love you, Cecily."

"Please stop!"

He had to make her see, make her understand. "I know I'm a bad
poet, but I'm a good man and all I ask is that... that you try to see me."

"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William.
You're beneath me."

William sat in stunned silence. He'd always known that she was more
than he'd ever hope to attain, but to be told so…callously…hurt. Hurt
beyond measure. He stared up into the throng of people, feeling lost
and rejected. He was an outsider here, had always been.

They tolerated him only because his mother still retained some of her
wealth. He was part of society whether they wanted him or not. So
he was invited to the parties and the balls. But he was never truly
accepted. He'd thought…he'd hoped…but even now that spark had
been doused.

He stood abruptly and pushed his way through the crowd toward the
exit, wiping at the tears that streaked his face.

***

Xander tried to stop him by grabbing the arm closest to him but Spike
shrugged him off contcontinued toward the exit. Xander winced when
he realized what was coming next. He'd have to find the alley, get
there and try to reach through the illusion somehow.

***

William turned swiftly at the sound of someone entering the alleyway.
The voice that drifted towards him felt tranquil and mesmerizing.

"And I wonder... what possible catastrophe came crashing down from
heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?"

"Nothing. I wish to be alone."

"Oh, I see you. A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his
strength, his vision, his glory. That and burning baby fish swimming all
around your head."

She was obviously mad. Burning baby fish? What was she on
about? "That's quite close enough. I've heard tales of London
pickpockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell you."

"Don't need a purse." She paused a moment to rake his body with
her eyes. "Your wealth lies here... and here. In the spirit and...
imagination." As she spoke she touched his heart and head in
succession. Each place she touched tingled and burned. "You walk
in worlds the others can't begin to imagine."


"Oh, yes! I mean, no. I mean... mother's expecting me." What was
she doing to him? His breathing became fast and shallow, his
thoughts scattering to the winds.

"I see what you want. Something glowing and glistening.
Something..." The woman was waving her hands in the air as if she
could pull her meaning from it.

"Effulgent?" A new voice joined the clatter in William's mind and he
turned to see a young man at the mouth of the alley.

Xander's belly had twisted watching his lover and Drusilla together.
He knew this scene as well. And he both loved and hated Drusilla for
what she had done to Spike. He had no idea why Spike could
suddenly hear him, but he was going to take full advantage.

William flashed briefly back to the image that had come upon him
earlier. This was the young man he'd seen. The young man he'd
been trying to remember.

Drusilla turned to hiss at him, but Xander ignored her and focused on
Spike. "Spike?" He took a few steps closer. "It's Xander. This is just
a challenge. I'm here. You're not alone. This isn't real."

He could see slow sparks of recognition ignite in his lover's eyes, so
he continued. "You don't need her," he gestured te vae vampiress, "or
them." His hands flew backward to indicate the party they'd just left.
"You're not *beneath* anyone. You're brave and wonderful and
intelligent and courageous. And I love you for all that and more."
He'd reached his goal now. Only inches away from Spike, Xander
reached out to cup the vampire's cheek with a warm palm. "I love
you," he repeated quietly, just before leaning in and bringing their lips
together.

The kiss was slow and chaste, their lips barely brushing. But Xander
felt the heat as always and hoped that his lover felt it as well. When
they pulled apart Xander opened his eyes to stare into the ice blue
depths of Spike's.

"Xan?" The one word query sent Xander's heart soaring.

"Yes," was his simple reply, and then they were kissing again. When
they broke apart they were once more in an empty cavern. Instead of
pulling out of the embrace, Spike snuggled closer, pressing his
forehead against Xander's and breathing in his mate's scent.

"Thank you, luv."

"Anytime."

They stood together for long moments. Eventually, Xander sighed
and stepped away. He didn't relinquish Spike's hand though, wanting
to keep physical contact for as long as possible. He tugged on said
hand, moving them both toward the next chamber.

"Come on," Xander urged. "Let's get this over with. I want to go
home."

They stepped through the archway into the final challenge, once more
holding hands.