Primitive

I shower quickly, standing under the hot water and scraping my nails over my skin until I feel slightly less dirty. If this is the kind of shit Buffy goes through all the time, making impossible choices that lead to people getting killed..

Well, I suddenly find myself a lot less jealous of her than I used to be.

I sigh heavily and turn off the shower, grabbing a towel and drying myself off. I bask in the quiet of the bathroom for a minute until I hear a commotion in the hallway that sounds an awful lot like a pissed-off Buffy.

I kick it into high gear, pulling on a clean change of clothes and bursting out of the bathroom into the hall, where Willow's trying to cajole Buffy into taking another dose. Buffy, however, is not even a little interested, and looks pretty pissed about it.

"Hey," I call out quietly. Buffy looks up and wrinkles her nose, slapping the bottle out of Willow's hand and hightailing it into her bedroom. I hold up my hand to stop Willow from following. "It's okay. I got it."

She frowns, getting that parental look on her face. "You need to get some sleep, Faith."

I shrug. "I'm a machine. I'll be fine."

"Even machines need to recharge! Or have its tank filled.. or something," she trails off as I go into Buffy's room.

"Find out about the Scythe!" I call to her, closing the door and turning to face Buffy, who's sitting on the floor next to the bed. "I'm getting pretty good at this being the boss thing."

I sit down on the bed, which I already know is a mistake. As soon as my ass hits the mattress, I feel like sinking into it and passing out completely. Buffy watches me quietly as I weave a little.

"I'm real sorry about the medicine, B." Maybe talking will keep me awake. "I just had some stuff to get done, yunno? And I didn't want you to be scared or hurt yourself or something. On the upside, you'll probably never sneeze again."

She tilts her head and taps my knee. "What?" She sighs with frustration and stands up, putting her hand on my shoulder and pushing me back onto the bed. "I'm gonna fall asleep, B.."

She growls a little and holds my chest against the bed until I stop resisting. "Gotta keep an eye on you, though. How do I know you're gonna stay here and not get into trouble?"

Buffy crawls onto the bed next to me and curls into a ball at my side, tucking her hands under her face and looking at me questioningly. I let out a sigh, giving in. "'Kay.. maybe just for a minute."

She shifts suddenly, resting her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest protectively. This is definitely new, but it feels really nice. "I've never cuddled before, you know. Hope you're not gonna kick my ass for this later."

She watches me as I wrap my arm around her shoulders, placing my hand on her back. She's warm, and I relax a little under her. If this is what cuddling is, I've been missing out. I can feel her heartbeat very faintly, and the steady rhythm is comforting.

Buffy moves her hand down a little, resting her palm on my breast. I swallow hard, trying to ignore it, because it's totally innocent. But it's been a really long time since anybody's touched me, and it doesn't feel totally innocent.

I close my eyes, trying to relax again, when she starts moving her hand. Not a lot, but enough to get my mind focused on things that have nothing to with sleeping. "B," I whisper. "Please."

She lifts her head, inspecting my face, and traces her fingertips over my breast. I let out a soft moan, wanting to give in so bad it hurts. I let her touch me for a minute longer, trying to ignore the fact that she's staring at me like I'm a science project, then cup my hand over hers, stilling it.

She frowns, tilting her head. "It's not that I don't want it." She furrows her brows and moves her hand a little, rubbing her thumb over my nipple, and I arch my back a little. "Y-you don't even know how much I want it. I just.." I grip her hand harder, pulling it away reluctantly. "You're not you right now. And that's not how I want it."

I gently release her hand and she settles down again, sighing and closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. I don't even know if she really knows what she was doing, and I'll probably kick myself for stopping her later. Especially when we get her back to being herself, and I realize that this was the only shot I had with her. Maybe I'll change my mind then and decide it would have been worth it just to feel her touching me.

She lets out a little grunt and wraps her arm over my torso, and I sigh, closing my eyes.

Sleep comes quickly.

What could only be at most a few hours later, I'm startled out of my sleep by a banging on the door. I quickly disentangle myself from Buffy, who curls up again, never waking up. I pull it open and Dawn's standing there wide-eyed.

"We figured it out."

~*~

"And you really think that'll work?" I ask Willow, staring at her hard.

She nods. "If I can work the mojo, that is. And.. it's a-a lot of mojo."

"You can do it," Kennedy says firmly.

I glance up from the papers at Giles. "Giles? What are you thinking?"

He takes his glasses off and rubs his temple. "In the interest of full disclosure, I think it's bloody brilliant."

I glance around at everyone in the room. The Potentials all have hope on their faces, a completely unfamiliar sight these days. Willow looks nervous but determined, Spike's just nodding with approval, and Andrew has a dreamy look on his face.

"It's the most touching thing I've ever heard," he croons. "Creating a whole new race of empowered females. Little girls growing up knowing they have a purpose and a place in the world, knowing they're a part of something greater than themselves."

I actually smile. He's corny, but he's right. This is more than just changing Buffy back, or winning an impossible fight. This is changing the world. Hopefully, for the better.

"Okay," I nod. "We're doing it. Tomorrow, we go to the school and open the seal. Kennedy, you're with me, Buffy, and Willow in the office. If everything goes right, you'll need to make sure Willow's okay."

Spike raises a finger in the air. "Just one question. Got a bunch of school girls and a ragtag group of would-be heroes heading into hell itself. Shouldn't there be at least one qualified Slayer leading the pack?"

Willow shakes her head. "I need Buffy for the spell. I'll have to draw on the extra energy she's got and spread it around to the others using the axe as a catalyst. I can't do that if Faith's not with her."

"Why's that?"

"She's the Guardian. She's been charged with protecting Buffy. If I try to siphon the essence the Shadowmen imbued her with, without the Guardian present, it'll be seen as an attack. It won't work, and there could be some really bad consequences. Like Buffy going insane and killing us all."

"Right," Spike looks sufficiently nervous. "Don't want that."

"Definitely not," Willow agrees.

"Everyone get some sleep tonight. You're gonna need it. We leave at dawn."