All I Need...
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-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
40
Views:
14,227
Reviews:
137
Recommended:
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Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
40
Views:
14,227
Reviews:
137
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Part 12
* * * * * * * * *
Part 12
“Primal?” Angel said quietly into the phone, “Are you sure?”
He frowned deeper than usual, shaking his head in despair. “Well, check again! There must be some… No. No, of course I trust you to know your job, but… I need you to be sure.”
He growled softly into the phone, then again, louder. “So get me a second opinion! A third opinion!”
“No! And shut! The! Fuck! Up! Listen to me!” he was snarling now, face shifting as Angelus begged to be set free on the fucker on the other end. “This is… not a friend, but he’s family. Sort of. Be sure! Make it a priority.”
It was only as he was slamming the receiver down into the cradle of the telephone that he realized his wayward Childe was lurking in the doorway, a look on his face that took a good fifteen seconds to place. Spike looked… scared and… anxious? What the hell?
“What was that, Sire?” the blond nearly whispered, his mouth suddenly dry. “It’s Xander, i’n it? He… bloody fuck, he’s dead! He’s dead, right?”
“No!” the older vampire said, his voice so loud in the otherwise silent office that he might as well have been shouting.
“No,” he said again, quieter this time, “But… Hell. Spike, you… you’d better sit down.”
“Why? What is it? Tell me, ya soddin’ wanker! What’s happened ta my Xan!”
“I… nothing, Spike. Nothing I know of. But there’s… shit, boy, there’s something you need to know.”
His entire body was shaking with impatience, but he knew that tone. That was Angel’s ‘careful voice’… the one he only used when he had bad news to share and there was no way the big poofy wonder was going to spill word one unless and until he did what the git wanted.
He darted over the thick rug then flung himself into his usual chair with a growl and golden glare. “Right. I’m sittin’. Now talk, ya daft bugger.”
The brooding face became more so and Angel stared at his own hand on the glossy black top of his desk. “All right,” he finally said, mentally slapping Angelus for wanting to keep the boy in the dark, “What do you know about Primals, Spike?”
* * * * *
~From: One Eyed Wonder
~To: Watcher Man
~Subject: Fair Warning
Hey, G-man!
Long time no talk, huh?
Yeah, I know. Been kinda hiding out. Not that I’m free and clear of the Slaying stuff because I’m not.
What’s that they say? You can take the boy out of Sunnydale, blah-blah-blah, right? Well, okay, they don’t say that, but they should! LOL
So anyway Giles… Crap. How do I say this?
Guess there’s no easy way, so here it is.
Some of your Watchers are going against you.
Maybe that’s too general. Okay.
I know what you told them about demons, Giles. I did check my e-mail a few times that first couple years when you were getting things back up and running.
Some of them aren’t listening.
And it’s not just demons, either. It’s anyone who isn’t 100% human.
How do I know, right? Easy. I was on the wrong end of stake and Slayer the other night. I don’t think I killed her, though.
Why would a Slayer go after the Xan-man, you ask?
Long story. Let’s just say Africa changed me in a lot more ways than you know. I’ll tell you sometime.
Don’t worry, okay? It’s nothing dire. Or nothing more dire than usual. LOL
Hey, Giles? I can hear you polishing your glasses from here!
I just figured you might want to know what’s going on where you can’t see, okay?
G-man… you know I love you, right? You’re like the Dad I never had. Hell, I wish I never did have a Dad growing up. It would have been so much better if I’d never known the fuckwad who sired me.
Uh, sired in the human way, not in the vampire one because so not a vampire, here. Just… not exactly human anymore.
Shit, I hope you can handle that.
I should have told you, Giles. I know that. But I couldn’t stand the idea of you giving me that disappointed look of yours.
It’s not something that was done to me exactly, so it’s my own fault but I don’t regret it, even if I was looking for something else.
Like I said, long story.
Anyway, that’s all. Just thought you’d want to know what your people are up to.
I’ll get it if you don’t want to talk to me again, G-man. I’m not really the kid you knew before, right? Just… let me know if I should bother swinging by next time I’m in London.
With love,
Your quasi-son Xander
* * * * *
~From: Watcher Man
~To: One Eyed Wonder
~Subject: Re: Fair Warning
Xander,
Where the bloody hell have you been? We’ve all been worried!
Buffy wanted to send a search party into Uganda when you disappeared and Willow nearly drained herself searching for your energy signature!
Honestly, I hadn’t thought you could be such a… prat!
You will drag your ass back to London ASAP, young man! If only so that I can ground you for life!
Or better yet, use you as a sparring partner for the new Slayers-in-Training.
Yes, that will teach you a lesson! A good thumping or twelve might make you see the light. I only wish the girls weren’t stronger than I or I would dearly love to do it myself.
That said, I believe I owe you at least a word of thanks for alerting me to the problem with certain of my staff.
If I am not mistaken, you would be referring to Etienne DuChamps and his Slayer, Dominique.
I have been given to understand that the girl is recovering nicely, largely due to the fact that none of her rather extensive injuries were in critical or fatal areas.
Etienne has been reassigned under Andrew’s watchful eye. I truly feel that the young man will benefit from Andrew’s guidance, much as I never would have thought to say so just a few years ago.
With regards to the other, Xander.
As you haven’t said in what manner you’re no longer entirely human, all I can say is that… you seem to have control of yourself and whatever you’ve acquired. I say this because you could have easily killed Dominique and apparently made a conscious choice not to.
Yes, I have seen photographs of her injuries.
I can not say that I’m pleased about what you did to her, however I certainly don’t and won’t blame you for defending yourself.
You’re very right, Xander. You’re not the boy I used to know. But Xander… you haven’t been that boy for a very long time.
You grew up. And in the process, you became a man who I am proud to call friend… and because you are no longer employed by the Council—meaning me-- I have no compunctions about admitting that your sentiment is returned.
If I had been blessed with a wife and a son, Xander, I would have been very pleased if that son had been you… fully human or not.
With equal love,
Giles
(P.S.~ Do you have any idea of why Angel would be desperate to find you? He’s been annoying me on a near-daily basis for almost half a year now. I believe it may have something to do with Spike, although I can’t be certain. He did seem rather surprised to hear from me in Africa but I can’t say whether that has anything to do with this. ~Giles)
* * * * *
He read Giles’ e-mail… then he read it again. And again, mind spinning faster and faster as he sniffled for a few minutes.
Then the P.S. registered and… he tried to figure out what the hell Angel had to do with anything, much less Spike.
Spike was dead, gone, dust and ash, lost to him, to the world, to everyone and everything and…
And Giles had talked to him? How was that even possible?
It took a good hour of his eyes staring blindly at the monitor for Xander to think about checking his old e-mail account but when he did, he inhaled sharply and sobbed just once, ignoring the looks it earned him from the other patrons of the internet café.
Twelve e-mails from Giles, dating from the day after he’d gotten to Uganda through a few days ago… and interspersed amongst those and the e-mails from Buffy, Willow and Dawn he found thirty or so messages from someone he’d never heard of before.
His heart was pounding wildly, his beast stirring within him almost desperately as he clicked on the name of the sender—‘Clever Childe’.
He didn’t notice the tears pouring from his eyes as he read, didn’t pay any mind to the way his hands were shaking or the sense of triumph the hyena spirit was reveling in.
The only thing he did notice was the obvious longing that had somehow transmuted itself from the electronic mail to his heart.
“He’s alive,” he whispered, not entirely sure he believed it, but the words were so Spike, so…
“I need to find him. Go there. Make this right… and find out why in the hell he didn’t tell me!”
And that was an idea the beast within was more than happy to support.
* * * * *
(A/N: Many thanks to Fenris Mourningstar (twice), Alice, TheShadowCat, chibifae, nulinka, Lady Gray and Sara for the reviews! SO glad you're all liking this so much! More soon. Promise! *grins*)
Part 12
“Primal?” Angel said quietly into the phone, “Are you sure?”
He frowned deeper than usual, shaking his head in despair. “Well, check again! There must be some… No. No, of course I trust you to know your job, but… I need you to be sure.”
He growled softly into the phone, then again, louder. “So get me a second opinion! A third opinion!”
“No! And shut! The! Fuck! Up! Listen to me!” he was snarling now, face shifting as Angelus begged to be set free on the fucker on the other end. “This is… not a friend, but he’s family. Sort of. Be sure! Make it a priority.”
It was only as he was slamming the receiver down into the cradle of the telephone that he realized his wayward Childe was lurking in the doorway, a look on his face that took a good fifteen seconds to place. Spike looked… scared and… anxious? What the hell?
“What was that, Sire?” the blond nearly whispered, his mouth suddenly dry. “It’s Xander, i’n it? He… bloody fuck, he’s dead! He’s dead, right?”
“No!” the older vampire said, his voice so loud in the otherwise silent office that he might as well have been shouting.
“No,” he said again, quieter this time, “But… Hell. Spike, you… you’d better sit down.”
“Why? What is it? Tell me, ya soddin’ wanker! What’s happened ta my Xan!”
“I… nothing, Spike. Nothing I know of. But there’s… shit, boy, there’s something you need to know.”
His entire body was shaking with impatience, but he knew that tone. That was Angel’s ‘careful voice’… the one he only used when he had bad news to share and there was no way the big poofy wonder was going to spill word one unless and until he did what the git wanted.
He darted over the thick rug then flung himself into his usual chair with a growl and golden glare. “Right. I’m sittin’. Now talk, ya daft bugger.”
The brooding face became more so and Angel stared at his own hand on the glossy black top of his desk. “All right,” he finally said, mentally slapping Angelus for wanting to keep the boy in the dark, “What do you know about Primals, Spike?”
* * * * *
~From: One Eyed Wonder
~To: Watcher Man
~Subject: Fair Warning
Hey, G-man!
Long time no talk, huh?
Yeah, I know. Been kinda hiding out. Not that I’m free and clear of the Slaying stuff because I’m not.
What’s that they say? You can take the boy out of Sunnydale, blah-blah-blah, right? Well, okay, they don’t say that, but they should! LOL
So anyway Giles… Crap. How do I say this?
Guess there’s no easy way, so here it is.
Some of your Watchers are going against you.
Maybe that’s too general. Okay.
I know what you told them about demons, Giles. I did check my e-mail a few times that first couple years when you were getting things back up and running.
Some of them aren’t listening.
And it’s not just demons, either. It’s anyone who isn’t 100% human.
How do I know, right? Easy. I was on the wrong end of stake and Slayer the other night. I don’t think I killed her, though.
Why would a Slayer go after the Xan-man, you ask?
Long story. Let’s just say Africa changed me in a lot more ways than you know. I’ll tell you sometime.
Don’t worry, okay? It’s nothing dire. Or nothing more dire than usual. LOL
Hey, Giles? I can hear you polishing your glasses from here!
I just figured you might want to know what’s going on where you can’t see, okay?
G-man… you know I love you, right? You’re like the Dad I never had. Hell, I wish I never did have a Dad growing up. It would have been so much better if I’d never known the fuckwad who sired me.
Uh, sired in the human way, not in the vampire one because so not a vampire, here. Just… not exactly human anymore.
Shit, I hope you can handle that.
I should have told you, Giles. I know that. But I couldn’t stand the idea of you giving me that disappointed look of yours.
It’s not something that was done to me exactly, so it’s my own fault but I don’t regret it, even if I was looking for something else.
Like I said, long story.
Anyway, that’s all. Just thought you’d want to know what your people are up to.
I’ll get it if you don’t want to talk to me again, G-man. I’m not really the kid you knew before, right? Just… let me know if I should bother swinging by next time I’m in London.
With love,
Your quasi-son Xander
* * * * *
~From: Watcher Man
~To: One Eyed Wonder
~Subject: Re: Fair Warning
Xander,
Where the bloody hell have you been? We’ve all been worried!
Buffy wanted to send a search party into Uganda when you disappeared and Willow nearly drained herself searching for your energy signature!
Honestly, I hadn’t thought you could be such a… prat!
You will drag your ass back to London ASAP, young man! If only so that I can ground you for life!
Or better yet, use you as a sparring partner for the new Slayers-in-Training.
Yes, that will teach you a lesson! A good thumping or twelve might make you see the light. I only wish the girls weren’t stronger than I or I would dearly love to do it myself.
That said, I believe I owe you at least a word of thanks for alerting me to the problem with certain of my staff.
If I am not mistaken, you would be referring to Etienne DuChamps and his Slayer, Dominique.
I have been given to understand that the girl is recovering nicely, largely due to the fact that none of her rather extensive injuries were in critical or fatal areas.
Etienne has been reassigned under Andrew’s watchful eye. I truly feel that the young man will benefit from Andrew’s guidance, much as I never would have thought to say so just a few years ago.
With regards to the other, Xander.
As you haven’t said in what manner you’re no longer entirely human, all I can say is that… you seem to have control of yourself and whatever you’ve acquired. I say this because you could have easily killed Dominique and apparently made a conscious choice not to.
Yes, I have seen photographs of her injuries.
I can not say that I’m pleased about what you did to her, however I certainly don’t and won’t blame you for defending yourself.
You’re very right, Xander. You’re not the boy I used to know. But Xander… you haven’t been that boy for a very long time.
You grew up. And in the process, you became a man who I am proud to call friend… and because you are no longer employed by the Council—meaning me-- I have no compunctions about admitting that your sentiment is returned.
If I had been blessed with a wife and a son, Xander, I would have been very pleased if that son had been you… fully human or not.
With equal love,
Giles
(P.S.~ Do you have any idea of why Angel would be desperate to find you? He’s been annoying me on a near-daily basis for almost half a year now. I believe it may have something to do with Spike, although I can’t be certain. He did seem rather surprised to hear from me in Africa but I can’t say whether that has anything to do with this. ~Giles)
* * * * *
He read Giles’ e-mail… then he read it again. And again, mind spinning faster and faster as he sniffled for a few minutes.
Then the P.S. registered and… he tried to figure out what the hell Angel had to do with anything, much less Spike.
Spike was dead, gone, dust and ash, lost to him, to the world, to everyone and everything and…
And Giles had talked to him? How was that even possible?
It took a good hour of his eyes staring blindly at the monitor for Xander to think about checking his old e-mail account but when he did, he inhaled sharply and sobbed just once, ignoring the looks it earned him from the other patrons of the internet café.
Twelve e-mails from Giles, dating from the day after he’d gotten to Uganda through a few days ago… and interspersed amongst those and the e-mails from Buffy, Willow and Dawn he found thirty or so messages from someone he’d never heard of before.
His heart was pounding wildly, his beast stirring within him almost desperately as he clicked on the name of the sender—‘Clever Childe’.
He didn’t notice the tears pouring from his eyes as he read, didn’t pay any mind to the way his hands were shaking or the sense of triumph the hyena spirit was reveling in.
The only thing he did notice was the obvious longing that had somehow transmuted itself from the electronic mail to his heart.
“He’s alive,” he whispered, not entirely sure he believed it, but the words were so Spike, so…
“I need to find him. Go there. Make this right… and find out why in the hell he didn’t tell me!”
And that was an idea the beast within was more than happy to support.
* * * * *
(A/N: Many thanks to Fenris Mourningstar (twice), Alice, TheShadowCat, chibifae, nulinka, Lady Gray and Sara for the reviews! SO glad you're all liking this so much! More soon. Promise! *grins*)