Mourning My Loss:Completed!
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › FemmeSlash - Female/Female › Tara/Willow
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
16
Views:
3,827
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › FemmeSlash - Female/Female › Tara/Willow
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
16
Views:
3,827
Reviews:
13
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Mourning My Loss: Chapter 12
Mourning My Loss
By: Oracle Of Magic
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the BTVS characters, they are the property of Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy productions. No copyright infringement is intended. I am writing this story purely for enjoyment.
*******
Part 12
I wake up with a small grin on my face. I roll over to hug Tara, and I realize it was just a dream. A nightmare. She’s not there, she’s gone. I’m alone, alone with our baby.
My body shudders as I start to cry. That wakes Buffy up, and she’s holding me. I feel so empty. I don’t feel sick though, that medicine must really be working. I’ll have to remember to thank the doctor later.
Finally my sobs start to subside, I’m still crying, but it’s internal now. I can’t cry another tear. My throat is burning so badly it hurts to breathe. Buffy gets me a glass of water which I drink. It helps a little, but not enough. Nothing will.
“Feel a little better now?” she asks.
“Physically, yeah,” I croak.
“I know what you mean, it’s going to get better, I promise,” she says. I look at her, I want to believe her. But I can’t, without Tara, I’ll never be ok, never. Just then there’s a knock on the door.
I nod my head, telling Buffy to invite the person in. She does, and Dawn walks in tentatively. “Hi,” she says quietly.
I wave at her, my throat hurting too badly to talk. “What is it Dawn?” Buffy asks.
“I didn’t want to interrupt, but Giles called and needs you over there. Like yesterday,” Dawn says. “I wouldn’t have told you if it wasn’t important,” she added.
“Ok,” Buffy nods. “Will, I’m so sorry, I’ll try to be as quick as I can. Are you gonna be ok here for a little while?”
“Yeah, I’ll be ok,” I whisper. I can tell she’s about to argue, I raise my hand to stop her. “It’s ok, go.”
“If you’re sure,” she hedges. I nod. I can tell she doesn’t want to leave me alone. And hell, in her position, I wouldn’t think it smart to leave me either.
“I’ll stay here,” Dawn said quietly. That was odd, normally she wanted to go to all the Scooby meetings. I try to argue for a minute, but I should have known better. One does not win arguments with the Summers sisters.
Buffy gives me a hug, then gets up and leaves. She promises to be back as soon as she can. Dawn sits down with me, asking if she can help. Buffy sticks her head and tells us she’s leaving.
Dawn is trying so hard to help. She tries to make me comfortable, gets me water and snacks, extra blankets. She’s trying to keep the conversation light, I know. I also know she wants to ask something, but she’s afraid.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Umm, well…” she starts.
“It’s ok, Dawn,” I say.
“Are you really….? I mean, did you and Tara actually…?” she blushes and pauses to compose herself.
I smile at her. She’s trying not to embarrass me, or herself. It’s kinda fun watching someone else babble for once.
“Are you really gonna, uhhh….?” Dawn trails off.
“Have a baby?” I supply, with a faded smile, a shadow of my former quirky grin. Dawn nods her head. “Yeah, I’m going to have our baby,” I say, the true meaning of the word “our” hitting me. The realization adds to the pain of my already damaged soul and fractured heart.
“Wow,” she says wide eyed.
“I know what you mean,” I say.
“That’s great! I mean, it’s wonderful! You’re going to be a mommy. You’re gonna do so well. And I can help, I know I’m young and all, but I’ll read up on stuff. When do cravings start? Can I get you anything?” she asks excitedly.
“Calm down, honey,” I say softly. “It’s ok, I’m alright, cravings don’t start for at least 4 more months. And I would love to have your help.”
She grins broadly, then gets a sad look on her face. “Tara should be here, it’s her baby too. I still don’t understand why they didn’t let you bring her back. I’m sure if they’d known you were pregnant, they would have considered it more,” she thought aloud. “ I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to make you cry, Willow.”
I start to tear up, Dawn always did support Tara and I. Then I stop. Out of the mouth of babes. That’s it! “It’s ok, Dawn. You didn’t mean to,” I answer. “Why don’t you go downstairs and watch TV for a while. I think I need a nap.”
She looks at me, trying to see if I’m mad at her. Finally, seeing it’s ok, she leaves the room. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. As soon as I’m sure she’s downstairs, I leap out of bed and start grabbing my books and ingredients.
I flip the book to the right page, and start to prepare the spell. “Tara honey, everything’s gonna be ok, I’ll make it ok,” I whisper, holding back the tears. With that statement, I turn my full attention to the spell. This time I’m going all the way to the top.
****
tbc
So, whatcha think? I really want to get some fb on this fic. As it stands, I don't know whether people like it or not. Please leave fb, anything at all.
Blessed Be,
Sarah
By: Oracle Of Magic
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the BTVS characters, they are the property of Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy productions. No copyright infringement is intended. I am writing this story purely for enjoyment.
*******
Part 12
I wake up with a small grin on my face. I roll over to hug Tara, and I realize it was just a dream. A nightmare. She’s not there, she’s gone. I’m alone, alone with our baby.
My body shudders as I start to cry. That wakes Buffy up, and she’s holding me. I feel so empty. I don’t feel sick though, that medicine must really be working. I’ll have to remember to thank the doctor later.
Finally my sobs start to subside, I’m still crying, but it’s internal now. I can’t cry another tear. My throat is burning so badly it hurts to breathe. Buffy gets me a glass of water which I drink. It helps a little, but not enough. Nothing will.
“Feel a little better now?” she asks.
“Physically, yeah,” I croak.
“I know what you mean, it’s going to get better, I promise,” she says. I look at her, I want to believe her. But I can’t, without Tara, I’ll never be ok, never. Just then there’s a knock on the door.
I nod my head, telling Buffy to invite the person in. She does, and Dawn walks in tentatively. “Hi,” she says quietly.
I wave at her, my throat hurting too badly to talk. “What is it Dawn?” Buffy asks.
“I didn’t want to interrupt, but Giles called and needs you over there. Like yesterday,” Dawn says. “I wouldn’t have told you if it wasn’t important,” she added.
“Ok,” Buffy nods. “Will, I’m so sorry, I’ll try to be as quick as I can. Are you gonna be ok here for a little while?”
“Yeah, I’ll be ok,” I whisper. I can tell she’s about to argue, I raise my hand to stop her. “It’s ok, go.”
“If you’re sure,” she hedges. I nod. I can tell she doesn’t want to leave me alone. And hell, in her position, I wouldn’t think it smart to leave me either.
“I’ll stay here,” Dawn said quietly. That was odd, normally she wanted to go to all the Scooby meetings. I try to argue for a minute, but I should have known better. One does not win arguments with the Summers sisters.
Buffy gives me a hug, then gets up and leaves. She promises to be back as soon as she can. Dawn sits down with me, asking if she can help. Buffy sticks her head and tells us she’s leaving.
Dawn is trying so hard to help. She tries to make me comfortable, gets me water and snacks, extra blankets. She’s trying to keep the conversation light, I know. I also know she wants to ask something, but she’s afraid.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Umm, well…” she starts.
“It’s ok, Dawn,” I say.
“Are you really….? I mean, did you and Tara actually…?” she blushes and pauses to compose herself.
I smile at her. She’s trying not to embarrass me, or herself. It’s kinda fun watching someone else babble for once.
“Are you really gonna, uhhh….?” Dawn trails off.
“Have a baby?” I supply, with a faded smile, a shadow of my former quirky grin. Dawn nods her head. “Yeah, I’m going to have our baby,” I say, the true meaning of the word “our” hitting me. The realization adds to the pain of my already damaged soul and fractured heart.
“Wow,” she says wide eyed.
“I know what you mean,” I say.
“That’s great! I mean, it’s wonderful! You’re going to be a mommy. You’re gonna do so well. And I can help, I know I’m young and all, but I’ll read up on stuff. When do cravings start? Can I get you anything?” she asks excitedly.
“Calm down, honey,” I say softly. “It’s ok, I’m alright, cravings don’t start for at least 4 more months. And I would love to have your help.”
She grins broadly, then gets a sad look on her face. “Tara should be here, it’s her baby too. I still don’t understand why they didn’t let you bring her back. I’m sure if they’d known you were pregnant, they would have considered it more,” she thought aloud. “ I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to make you cry, Willow.”
I start to tear up, Dawn always did support Tara and I. Then I stop. Out of the mouth of babes. That’s it! “It’s ok, Dawn. You didn’t mean to,” I answer. “Why don’t you go downstairs and watch TV for a while. I think I need a nap.”
She looks at me, trying to see if I’m mad at her. Finally, seeing it’s ok, she leaves the room. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. As soon as I’m sure she’s downstairs, I leap out of bed and start grabbing my books and ingredients.
I flip the book to the right page, and start to prepare the spell. “Tara honey, everything’s gonna be ok, I’ll make it ok,” I whisper, holding back the tears. With that statement, I turn my full attention to the spell. This time I’m going all the way to the top.
****
tbc
So, whatcha think? I really want to get some fb on this fic. As it stands, I don't know whether people like it or not. Please leave fb, anything at all.
Blessed Be,
Sarah